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Tuesday 5 August 2014

Finding 'Why'

Finding ʽWhy ʼ

©Scott D. Wilson 2014

"Where there is no vision, the people perish" – Proverbs 29:18


Lately, I encounter a lot of people who tell me, "I need more motivation." This common lament troubles me. An entire industry has built itself out of this apparently common need. Motivational speakers, talk shows, podcasts and blogs abound. Just as people crave teachers and coaches to tell them how life works, so to do they seem to seek people to explain their lives and give them meaning. I am concerned by this.

It is quite one thing for people to seek better understanding of the universe around them. That is natural. When confronted with the infinite frontiers of knowledge it is simple wisdom to acknowledge that mankind remains largely ignorant. As humanity has exponentially increased its knowledge in recent decades it has equally discovered how infinitely vast is the knowledge still left to be discovered. We are definitely in need of wise discoverers, teachers and coaches.

Motivation, however, does not deal with knowledge about the workings of this world. Motivation is defined as the reason for a person’s action. In short, motivation is about the workings of ourselves. It is about our 'why'. There are many things that we can learn from others but purpose is not one of them. Nothing is more personal than the reasons why we do anything and our motives are as valuable as our actions.

As important as our actions are to others and the world around us, our motives are of greatest importance, especially to ourselves. For example, doing good is significant but doing good for the right motives is crucial. In this example if you give to others continually expecting for it to be returned to you then you are not giving unconditionally and you will soon become disenchanted and jaded by life's returns. If your giving is from your own abundance and generosity, seeking no personal gain, only then will the true satisfaction and reward of giving return to you. Thus your motivation is of great significance.

When I have encountered those who are seeking motivation their statements are inevitably paired with some personal failure. It seems evident to me that they lack an understanding of themselves and it is sabotaging their efforts to improve. This is why I chose the opening quote from Proverbs 29:18. Those seeking motivation seem to lack a vision of themselves and are 'perishing' in achieving their goals.

These people who share their motivational problems with me seem unsure of what drives them and unfortunately they look outside to find their own ‘why’. They seek maps to themselves and hope that others can supply them. Unfortunately, many people, both spiritual and secular make the claim that they can deliver this meaning. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Since no one can live your life for you then you should not let anyone tell why to do anything! Quietly listen your own heart and mind. They will tell you why. Each of our lives is amazingly unique. Our genetics, our parents, our society, when and where we are born, our life experiences, our thoughts and emotions all work together create the specific person that we are right now.

No one will ever fully understand what it means to be you. We each need to discover why we are here. We each have unique passions that bring us joy and meaning. Several wise cultures have called this 'a path with heart' and we each are responsible to find our own. The answers that others have found for themselves will not necessarily work for us. There is no ‘one size fits all’ solution.

Look inside and find your own answers as to why you do what you do. Let go of who you think that you are and listen to your thoughts, your emotions and your life; they will honestly teach you about yourself. Bravely face the uncomfortable lessons that they will deliver. You will likely be surprised.

The truth that we learn about ourselves is often mixed. For example, you may learn that you are impatient but you may also discover that you are generous and kind. We may also discover that our desires and passions lie in areas that we have feared to tread. The most important thing is that you listen without judging yourself. Be gentle.

Learn your ‘why’. Find your unique purpose. This is true for every goal that you set in your life. Whether it is fitness and weight loss or a financial goal, you need to know uniquely why you are doing it. And to this end, I also recommend that you regularly remind yourself of your ‘why’. We are forgetful people and we often lose motivation because the emotions and thoughts that first impelled us fade with time.

Throughout time the wise spiritual traditions have used the concept of touchstones to remind us of our purpose. For example, in the Bible, when the God of the Hebrews created the nation of Israel, he instructed them to carry stones from the land of their wandering into the their new land of promise. These stones formed a monument that the people and their offspring used to remind them of their bondage that they fled, their deliverance and why they wandered for so long. It reminded them why they were a nation.

When you find your purpose it is very helpful to create a meaningful touchstone so that when your motivation fails that you literally have something to see and touch that will remind you of your purpose. It should touch your heart and mind, spirit and it should speak uniquely to you.

For example, if you are working towards a financial goal you might write a cheque to yourself with the amount of money that you wish to obtain. Under the 'For' section of the cheque you could write your motivations like 'security for my family' or 'to give to a certain cause.' You could then place the cheque in your wallet and when your resolve weakens you could look at it and remind yourself why you are making this effort. In the end, your specific touchstone will be as unique as your reasons ‘why’.

The important thing is to brave enough to listen to your heart, mind and life to discover who you are and why you do what you do. Stop looking outside for your motivation. When you find your purpose take the same time and bravery to discover something that will help you to remember it. It is that simple but it won’t be easy and it will be worth it!

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