I Have Fat

I Have Fat
©2015 Scott D. Wilson, P.Eng.

I love language. It is just one way to communicate but it can be used to convey so much more than information. The words that we use and how we use them can reveal a lot about ourselves and our thought processes. Even punctuation can have a powerful effect… it can even save lives. There is a huge difference between “Let’s eat Bobby!” and “Let’s eat, Bobby!”

All kidding aside, we use words and language every single day but we rarely reflect on our language and understand how it influences us. Language affects our emotions, our thinking and even how we see and perceive the world around us. Words like Nazi, holocaust, pedophile, rape and 9-11 have powerful emotions attached to them; most people have significant feelings evoked when they hear these words used in speech or see them written.

How words and language affect out thinking and view of the world is more subtle by nonetheless real. I am privileged to be fluent in two languages: English and French. I can tell you that when I am speaking in French I am also thinking in French. Translating on the fly from English to French is too slow; this only happens when one is still in the early stages of learning a language. I explain this because I can tell you that French thinking is not the same as English thinking.

Here is a simple example that I like. In French, many of the states of being are possessive verbs instead of identifying verbs. In French, I have cold and I have hunger so one does not identify oneself as being cold or hungry but rather having these states. In English we say “I miss you.” This statement speaks about one’s own thoughts and emotions towards the absent party. In French we say “You are missing from me.” This phrasing evokes a much deeper connection to the other person; it is a statement of incompleteness.

Some might argue that this is all mere semantics but I must firmly disagree.  The statement “I am…” is a very strong statement of being and identification.  Possession is not mentally the same.  I can easily have or get something and then give it away or lose it.  It is much harder to change who we are or an identity.  When someone states “I am fat,” how does this person stop being fat?  How and when can the person change state from fatness to non-fatness?  In English we often identify ourselves with a transient state of being.  No wonder so many of us struggle with poor self-esteem and self-image.

I suggest a revolution of language.  Reimagine your use of words:

• I am not fat.  I have fat.
• I am not angry.  I have anger.
• I am not depressed.  I have depression.
• I am not afraid.  I have fear.

If you have something undesirable then you can work to eliminate it or reduce it.  Free yourself from identifying with your detrimental physical and emotional states.  Something as simple as changing your language can alter your thinking and help you to move from victim to victor!  Stop being a casualty to these words.  You have the power to change these things.  They do not define you and who you are.  Change you words.  Change your mind.  Change your life. And yes, even begin to change this world!

Filled with "I Can"

Filled with “I Can”

©2015 Scott D. Wilson, P.Eng.

This world we live in is marvelous and inspiring but it is also draining. Day to day labour is frequently both physically and mentally taxing. This life rarely offers back many ‘atta-boys’ for the efforts that we put into it. This simple reality is seems immutable and eternal. So how then do we continue to press on and remain focused on goals that better us and our surroundings? What keeps us fixed on our target?

Success is about attaining sought after objectives. Success is about achieving. Part of what stops us in our quests it the ‘I can’ts.’ We get stuck focusing on our limitations. We fail to see what we can do because we are looking at what we cannot do. This in itself is a tragedy of our culture and our upbringing.

When we bring children into the world they perceive it as a place filled with infinite possibilities, and rightly so. They are filled with ‘I cans.’ It is one of our jobs as parents and as a society to expose our children to as many experiences as we can that will test their potential and expand their horizons. We are to encourage them in their many pursuits and in interests as much as we are able. In short, we need to let them play with their possible ‘cans’ and allow them to discover their potential. But alas, this is often not the case. All too soon children are faced with an enormous number of ‘can’ts’ – some real but many others virtual or imposed.

Certainly physical age and immaturity place limitations on a child’s abilities. Likewise economic status and geographic considerations also curtail certain possibilities. However, those are not the boundaries that I am speaking about. It is the more subtle ‘can’ts’ that drain us and prevent us from pursuing dreams and exploring possibilities. We have all heard them…

• You can’t make money at that.
• Nobody has done that before.
• I don’t think that can be done.
• I doubt that *you* can change that.
• It has always been that way.
• No one really needs that.
• Only a *lucky* few can do that.
• It’s too hard.
• That’s impossible.
• It’s ok, nobody does that any way.

We whisper these worldly lies primarily with the aim of sparing the child the pain of failure and disappointment. We do not want them to suffer. We are focused on their pragmatic material welfare. We want them to prosper in the material world because the material world is where we exist. We don’t want them to put their economic lives at risk. We want them to take the safe path. And there is nothing wrong with that. The safe paths lead to relatively nice jobs and decent lives. They serve the majority of mankind quite well.

However, are these safe paths the ones that will lead to humanity’s success? Is it fair to teach our offspring to be risk averse? A safety net is a good thing, but it would be a boring circus if we saw all the performers lounging in it. We encourage people to risk love because we intuitively know the stagnant consequence of locking our hearts away and never feeling the pain of a failed love. Yet we fill ourselves and those around us with ‘can’ts’ instead of ‘cans’ because we cannot fathom the consequences. On the whole, we do not encourage people to aim high. Soon the ‘you can’ts’ of others become our own internal ‘I can’ts.’

Today, I want to change that. Look inward. What dreams have you suppressed because of ‘can’ts’ that came from both yourself and others? For a moment suspend your disbelief in yourself. Do not look at what you perceive to be your inabilities. Look towards your ‘I cans.’ Start filling yourself up with them. Here are a few to start:

• You can choose a different way.
• You can risk.
• You can choose to change.
• You can let go of the past.
• You can stop.
• You can begin.
• You can create.
• You can learn.
• You can forgive.
• You can accept yourself.
• You can dream.
• You can dance.
• You can love.

Keep going. If you are honest you will realize that you are full of potential ‘I cans.’ There are far more ‘cans’ than ‘can’ts’ within us but we need to see them and we need to realize them. Today is your day to start. Take the time to start listing your ‘I cans’ and come to see the possible paths before you that you never considered – and start acting on them! As a bonus, begin helping others to find their ‘I cans’ and in the process you will learn some new ones about yourself!

The Other Small Voice

The Other Small Voice

©2014 Scott Wilson

I have a guest writer here today who wanted to speak their mind...

Hello, can you hear me? I am the OSV, the Other Small Voice. You probably don’t know me too well but that’s ok. Most people ignore me or they listen to my brother NSSV, the Not So Small Voice. He’s the guy who’s always telling you that you aren’t good enough, smart enough, lucky enough or even deserving of anything good.

 

He’s seems to be far more successful than I am because almost everybody seems to listen to him. Maybe it’s because he reminds people that they are just the same as everyone else and he comforts people when they fail by helping them to come up with good excuses. Also, he saves people time and energy by using these same excuses to avoid attempting anything worthwhile.

 

But enough about him, it’s my job to remind you of the miraculous nature of who you are and the virtually infinite potential that you possess at this very moment. Did you know that your personal DNA contains a unique sequence of over 3.2 billion base pairs? Barring cloning, there will never be another human being with your specific DNA sequence. Never. You are quite literally an amazing scientific and biological masterpiece. One might even say, a miracle.

 

I’m telling you this because you need to understand that you have a unique opportunity at this time and this place. Some things you have no control over, like the weather and where you born. The list of uncontrollable things is indeed vast. But you have one very powerful tool: choice. In this moment you have control over what you choose to do, to think and to be. That is powerful! That is far more powerful than the things that you cannot control.

 

You can choose to follow others or you can chart your own course. The point is – this moment, and the next one, will be what YOU choose to make them. You can coast along on autopilot doing what is easiest and accepting what this world seems to be – for better or for worse. Or you can question and dream and start to build something else, something different… something better. Will it be easy? Not likely. Will there be a cost. Sure. Will it be worth it? Oh yes!

 

Once men looked up and dreamt of flying and now thousands of people are in the air as you read this. Dreams can become reality when you have a vision and make the choice to follow it. So that is why I am here.

 

I am the Other Small Voice. I know that you have been listening to Not So Small Voice… but he is wrong!! Today I want you to take a chance, dream a dream, and make at least one small step towards a better tomorrow for yourself and everyone. You deserve it. This world deserves it. If everyone on earth took one step closer to their dream today image how amazing tomorrow would look?

 

You are unique!

Your time is NOW!

Make the best of it!

The choice is yours…

 

Going Dry

 

Going Dry

©Scott D. Wilson, P.Eng. 2015

 

Writer ’s block, losing your muse, loss of inspiration are just a few terms for what happens when innovative people hit the metaphorical wall in their running quest for creativity.  This process seems to happen to every artist, inventor or innovator.  I can tell you that it is a difficult state for those whose spirit is driven to bring forth new creations and ideas.  It is very much like the soul lost in the desert thirsting for water.

 

Perhaps a metaphor might help to explain.  I have found that the creative process is very much akin to the physical procreative process.  Ideas seem to be inseminated within our minds during the loving exercise of our passions.  Once planted a creative vision is wrestled with as it grows and takes on a life of its own within you.  Just like pregnancy, it is an uncomfortable time as the new dream kicks and challenges the old ideas.  Your mind’s horizons are stretched and grow as the notion wrestles with past thoughts and experiences.

 

And then one day the urgency of the idea becomes intense and the near frenzied birth process takes place as the concept demands attention and action in becoming something physical: a story, a poem, a song, a picture, an invention, a business plan, a recipe, a…  And just like a proud parent you cautiously take your creation out to show to others hoping that they too will see its beauty.

It should be evident that this process can stall at many of the stages along the way but the one that troubles most folks is the inspiration at the very beginning.  Novel and interesting ideas seem to dry up and blow away.  Everything seems old.  The creative individual is left struggling and wondering why their source of inspiration has dried up.  From my own experience this state occurs progressively and results from one thing:  living an uninspiring life. 

 

This may sound overly simplistic but believe me that my statement is quite vast in its implications.  Most do not realize that their ideas are born of their daily life experiences.  Thanks to our hippocampus we only consciously perceive a small percentage of what our senses bring into us on a daily basis.  If this were not the case then we would be inundated by all the tastes, smells, colours, sounds and sensations.   Nonetheless, as we live and experience our days with all their sensations, emotions and thinking we gain experience that is stored and generates our thoughts, ideas and dreams.  Most scientists presently believe that our dreams are a way of our minds processing all that we have perceived, consciously and unconsciously during our day. 

 

In essence, our minds digest the experiences that we put into them every day and turn them into understanding and ideas.  In other words, the mind eats life experience like the body eats food.  Our minds grow strong and our wits sharpen when we provide them with stimulating events and ideas.  Unfortunately, we often allow life to become too routine or mundane and we lose our appreciation for the miracle of our own particular existence.  The common yet mundane entertainment and distractions of life rob our minds of the experiences that they crave.  This often happens through the natural survival processes of our usual days.  I have a few suggestions to correct this matter.

 

My first proposal:  Meditation.  Now before you roll your eyes and tell me that meditation is not for you I need you to revisit the concept of meditation.  When most hear the term mediation they envision guru’s seated on mats with their eyes closed for hours in silent contemplation.   This stereotype is a rather myopic view of mediation.  Mediation has many forms both static and active.  A popular active form of meditation is the Chinese martial art and activity Tai Chi Chuan.  However, others find mediation in a quiet walk with one’s pet or jogging with classic music.  My point is that each one of us can find a form of mediation that works for us.  I encourage you to find yours, anything to free your mind from the day’s mundane thoughts.

 

My next recommendation:  Reconnection with God or the Universe.  Knowing who we are and our purpose plays a strong role in bringing inspiration to our lives.  Similar to mediation, some find prayer to be a conduit for connecting to their spiritual side.  This connection can however take many forms.  Many find understanding of their identity through study and their family, cultural roots or their past.   Our lives were meant to be lived but they were also meant to be reflected upon to be understood and given meaning.  The ancient Greek philosopher Socrates put it this way “The unexamined life is not worth living.”  Whether practical or spiritual, many find that journaling or writing a diary helps them to connect with themselves.  Again, I urge the reader to find their own particular habitual connection.

 

Another suggestion:  Follow a passion or a hobby.  This may seem trite but it is a serious statement.  Many popular teachers today encourage us to find our passion, as if this is a singular thing.  However, many successful people pursue multiple interests and enjoy a variety of hobbies.  Our interests help us to relax and encourage us in our creativity.  Baking a cake or brewing beer may seem completely unrelated to writing or playing an instrument but many attest that following seemingly commonplace activities quiet minds and stir creative juices.  Often our hobbies can become forms of active meditation.  Likewise, following our various interests can also lead to better understanding of ourselves and our purpose.

 

Finally, I recommend:  Associate with other creative people.   There are several reasons why like-minded people form clubs and associations.  Certainly, one of the most significant reasons is to share information and ideas about their work and interests.  Creative people tend to brainstorm ideas with others who share their passions. If your well has run dry then it is a good idea to look around and fins some groups of people who are pursuing your craft.  The internet is filled with coaches, clubs, associations, mastermind groups and the like.  The point is, join one or more such groups and participate in their forums and real-life gatherings.  Write and chat with these people.  Help others to get started.  Whether giving or receiving help and advice you will learn and benefit.  Proverbs 27:17 of the Bible puts it well: “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”

 

Those four related suggestions form my recommended oasis for those thirsting for their muse or spark of creativity.  I am sure that other venues exist and I encourage you to try them all.  As in other areas of our life we need not feel like victims when our ideas become sparse.  We can be empowered to re-establish our own imaginations and rekindle the fires of inspiration in our lives.  It is not hard to lead an inspiring life but it does take effort and intention at times.  We have only ourselves and our own misgivings preventing us from regaining what we may feel that we have lost.  Let nothing stand between you and your muse!  I tend to agree with author and speaker Jacob Nordby when he stated:

“Writer's block is just another name for fear.”

On a parting note, if you want to hear an inspiring story from a modern artist who lost and found his muse I highly recommend Sting’s powerful TED Talk entitled “How I started writing songs again”:
https://www.ted.com/talks/sting_how_i_started_writing_songs_again?language=en