•••••Deadly Words•••••
I am a storyteller and a peddler of words. I know that words and how we use them have tremendous power. The right words at the correct time can spell the difference between victory and defeat, success and failure or even life and death. I agree with Mr. Whittier that "It might have been." are truly among the saddest of words. They are the eulogy for a dream.
However, before one can get to a point of such regret it would be necessary to exhaust one's opportunities. Dreams do not expire overnight. If the possibility still exists there would be no need for such lament. Only when an opportunity is completely passed will a dream die.
As we travel through life we all have dreams. We have dreams about what we will be, who we will make a life with, the family we will create or even fame and fortune. Some are naive, like the fantasies of children to become princesses and knights. Others evolve over time like our education and career paths. Meanwhile other ambitions develop out of necessity, like health and fitness needs.
All our dreams are important. They bring us hope and focus our energy and efforts. Aspirations and our efforts to achieve them bring us life and vitality. If a dream is worthwhile then we should never lightly abandon it. It is our worthwhile goals that will haunt us when we fail to follow them. These are the ones that become "It might have been."
In my own travels I have discovered two deadly words that are dream killers. We use these words to excuse ourselves and to blame our circumstances. They make us feel less guilty when we surrender our goals. These words soothe our lack of faith in ourselves. What are these lethal words? They are: I'm trying.
They seem so harmless, so benign. Make no mistake, those words spell the demise of your dreams. If someone asks you about your dream and you reply with "I'm trying such and such and this and that." then beware, you are courting regret. Trying is weak. It implies lack of commitment, responsibility and control. Trying is just waiting for the universe to swoop in and crush our hopes.
When we try then we are leaving room for the word 'but'. I'm trying to lose weight *but* I have plateaued. I'm trying to get promoted *but* no one is giving me the opportunity. 'Trying' and 'but' always seem to be paired. When it comes to dreams and goals they are a fatal pair.
There is a simple way to change your thinking and avoid these deadly words. Simply pay attention to your use of the devilish duo. When they are on your lips, stop and instead say what you are actually doing rather than what you are attempting. Talk about the concrete steps that you are actually making towards your goals. Don't talk about trying to write a book. Talk about what you have written, what you are writing and the publishers that you've approached. Don't talk about trying to lose weight. Talk about the good habits you have started, learning to count calories or the physical activities that you've begun.
Take responsibility for your dream. Make it happen one step at a time. Of course you can't control all the variables in life, but that doesn't mean you merely try to pursue a goal. You break it down into actions that you can do. Deal with variables one by one as they arise. Remind yourself of what you are doing, not what you are trying.
Don't abdicate a dream to luck, chance or fate. It will haunt you. If it is a worthy dream then it is worth the action and commitment. You will never regret time spent on a worthwhile goal, even if it may never fully realized. Your honest progress will be rewarding. While a lack of effort for such a dream will ignite justified remorse.
Give your mind and heart a better outlook by banning the killer 'I'm trying...' from your vocabulary. Protect your dreams from these poisonous words that subtly sabotage your thinking.
©2017 S.D.Wilson
“For all sad words of tongue and pen, The saddest are these, 'It might have been'.” - John Greenleaf Whittier
However, before one can get to a point of such regret it would be necessary to exhaust one's opportunities. Dreams do not expire overnight. If the possibility still exists there would be no need for such lament. Only when an opportunity is completely passed will a dream die.
As we travel through life we all have dreams. We have dreams about what we will be, who we will make a life with, the family we will create or even fame and fortune. Some are naive, like the fantasies of children to become princesses and knights. Others evolve over time like our education and career paths. Meanwhile other ambitions develop out of necessity, like health and fitness needs.
All our dreams are important. They bring us hope and focus our energy and efforts. Aspirations and our efforts to achieve them bring us life and vitality. If a dream is worthwhile then we should never lightly abandon it. It is our worthwhile goals that will haunt us when we fail to follow them. These are the ones that become "It might have been."
In my own travels I have discovered two deadly words that are dream killers. We use these words to excuse ourselves and to blame our circumstances. They make us feel less guilty when we surrender our goals. These words soothe our lack of faith in ourselves. What are these lethal words? They are: I'm trying.
They seem so harmless, so benign. Make no mistake, those words spell the demise of your dreams. If someone asks you about your dream and you reply with "I'm trying such and such and this and that." then beware, you are courting regret. Trying is weak. It implies lack of commitment, responsibility and control. Trying is just waiting for the universe to swoop in and crush our hopes.
When we try then we are leaving room for the word 'but'. I'm trying to lose weight *but* I have plateaued. I'm trying to get promoted *but* no one is giving me the opportunity. 'Trying' and 'but' always seem to be paired. When it comes to dreams and goals they are a fatal pair.
There is a simple way to change your thinking and avoid these deadly words. Simply pay attention to your use of the devilish duo. When they are on your lips, stop and instead say what you are actually doing rather than what you are attempting. Talk about the concrete steps that you are actually making towards your goals. Don't talk about trying to write a book. Talk about what you have written, what you are writing and the publishers that you've approached. Don't talk about trying to lose weight. Talk about the good habits you have started, learning to count calories or the physical activities that you've begun.
Take responsibility for your dream. Make it happen one step at a time. Of course you can't control all the variables in life, but that doesn't mean you merely try to pursue a goal. You break it down into actions that you can do. Deal with variables one by one as they arise. Remind yourself of what you are doing, not what you are trying.
Don't abdicate a dream to luck, chance or fate. It will haunt you. If it is a worthy dream then it is worth the action and commitment. You will never regret time spent on a worthwhile goal, even if it may never fully realized. Your honest progress will be rewarding. While a lack of effort for such a dream will ignite justified remorse.
Give your mind and heart a better outlook by banning the killer 'I'm trying...' from your vocabulary. Protect your dreams from these poisonous words that subtly sabotage your thinking.
©2017 S.D.Wilson
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