Buddha on a Bike

 

Buddha on a Bike

©2015 Scott D. Wilson, P.Eng.

 

I am always looking for trends and common threads among successful people. Lately, I have noticed that very many successful people admit to various practices of mediation or mindfulness. The billionaire founder of Bridgewater Associates, Ray Dalio went so far as to say “Meditation more than anything in my life was the biggest ingredient of whatever success I've had.” That is quite an endorsement! There have been countless studies on meditation and here are just a few of positive effects of meditation:

• Reduction in stress and a better ability to handle stressors
• Improved brain functions
• Increased productivity in high performance situations
• Reduction in the symptoms of anxiety and depression
• Improved ability to fight disease and to maintain health
• Better-quality sleep
• Longer attention span and stronger ability to focus
• Increased metabolism and assists in weight loss (Yes, weight loss – through the increase in mitochondria!!)
• Greater level of creativity

These are just a small sampling of the benefits of meditative practices.

Now if you are like me then when you hear the words mindfulness and meditation you suddenly get a vision of a long-haired old hermit with a flowing beard seated at the top of a mountain. The reality is that nothing could be further from the truth. In the 60’s the Beatles introduced eastern transcendental meditation into mainstream western culture. Since then we have tended to focus on the various forms of seated meditation from the ancient Ascetics to Zen monks. Fortunately, seated or static meditation is but one form of mindful exercises.

For me, the thought of sitting for a prolonged period without movement with the aim of clearing my mind and my thoughts is right up there with listening to fingers raking down a chalkboard. I am in no way dissing this means of contemplation. There is a time and a place for such practice and it is better suited for some people and less so for others. If these work for you then I encourage you to continue.

Others like me have been discouraged with many of the transcendental techniques. Fortunately, there are alternatives and I wish to increase awareness of them. Some of you may know that there are techniques known as moving meditation. By far the most popular is the practice of Tai Chi. Many martial arts employ moving meditations. For example, Karate employs various moving exercises called katas. Yes, these routines are a form of practicing the offensive and defensive techniques. They are also excellent forms of moving meditation.

Anyone who has sought to master a Tai Chi form or a martial art kata knows that you start out thinking your way through them and your mind jabbers as it seeks to remember and follow the movements. However, as you become more adept your mind stills as your focus on your arms, legs, breathing and so much more absorbs your entire attention. For folks like me this is a marvelous form of meditation – moving outside and still inside.

“But I don’t like martial arts and Tai Chi just isn’t for me!” you object. Guess what? Martial arts do not have the lock on this form of mindfulness. Ask a marathon runner or any other serious athlete and they will tell you that when they hit their stride that there are moments of peacefulness and stillness as all they hear is their blood pounding and the rhythm of their limbs. Do you have to be a professional athlete? Not from my experience. I have discovered that my meditation often occurs atop the pedals of my bicycle.

Sure, I start out just thinking about my day as I get started pedaling down my driveway. The mind is a persistent beast and it wants to go over all the various concerns of the day ahead. Eventually, as I drive my bike harder either in silence or while listening to music then the thoughts slowly quiet. There is just me and my bike connected to the road, the trees, the grass, the dew, the sunshine and the entire universe.

So am I saying that you must become a Buddha on a bike? No, but you must find an exercise that you can use for at least ten minutes that will afford you some quiet contemplation. I have found such moments of meditation in Tai Chi Chuan, running, biking, skiing, walking quietly and even while washing dishes. The key is to immerse yourself in the activity. Give it your whole attention. When you are performing your activity perform it to your best. Pay attention to details. Pay attention to your movement, to your limbs, to your breath, to your heartbeat, to you surroundings (smells, sights, physical sensations, noises and even tastes). If possible, don’t linger on one thing. However, it is perfectly ok to get lost in something. The moments of quiet clarity will come and go – do not be discouraged. Practice diligently and through repetition and improving skill you will eventually find the still part of your mind.    

So when you hear the benefits of meditation do not sigh longingly and despair at the thought of a sore posterior and nodding off in a temple. Instead, get up, get moving and find the mindfulness activity that will allow you your own brand of meditation! Let us follow the many successful leaders along the quiet and gentle mind’s path to our goals!  

Losing Your (Punitive) Mind

Losing Your (Punitive) Mind
©2015 Scott D. Wilson, P.Eng.

No team ever won the Super Bowl with a coach who only criticized and punished their players. No Olympian ever grabbed the gold because they were driven by the fear of defeat and condemnation. Why then do so many of us think we can succeed by effectively using these same methods with ourselves? Frequently folks act like they can mentally beat themselves into submission. Whether it is our steps towards success in our careers or improving our health, it seems that a lot folks think that using an inner drill sergeant will somehow create the discipline that they seek in their lives.

Perhaps it is the ‘drill sergeant’ mythology from films like “Officer and a Gentleman” that has created this belief within us. Such films paint the picture of an antagonistic and harsh character who teaches the film’s hero the value of discipline, honour and self-sacrifice. While there is a time and place for the harsh treatment of a marine drill sergeant, I believe that most of us take these actions out of context.

Punishment is used to move us away from something; psychologists refer to punishment as negative reinforcement. However, punishment does not serve well to move us towards a goal. The harshness of the classic drill sergeant is used to break down independence because self-reliance in a war will get a person and their team killed. It is a drill sergeant’s job to take undisciplined and self-centered young people and form them into a strong healthy supportive team so they can rely on each other and survive under the harsh circumstances of war. The vicious words and actions of the sergeant have little to do with coaching the success of individuals. These severe actions are aimed to discourage individuality and encourage teamwork and interdependence. As individuals, using this method on ourselves to reach our goals will generally lead to discouragement and desperation.

Scientists in the field of Human Performance have long studied the best means for managing and improving behaviour. The results of their studies are clear: the use of positive reinforcements should far outweigh any negatives ones or punishments. Sports psychologists and researchers have determined that 80-90% of all coaching should involve positive reinforcement. Why then do so many people seem to feel that they can whip themselves into shape? From what I can see, it simply appears to be an erroneous belief that is a common part of our culture. It seems something akin to an ‘old wive’s tale.’

If we seek to succeed then it is clear that we must shed our unhealthy punitive mindset. In the study of performance improvement the best way to develop better actions is to reinforce desirable behaviours by applying positive reinforcement. Positive reinforcements are best termed as ‘rewards.’ Anything can be used for positive reinforcement: praise, incentives, money, gifts, actions, social status, et cetera. Rewards are very personal and need to be tailored to specific individuals. If we are seeking to motivate ourselves then we must find meaningful ways to reward ourselves when we take constructive actions towards our goals. Furthermore behavioural theorists have shown that the sooner a reward can be applied to a desired behavior the higher the chance that the individual will repeat this behaviour.

For example, a person who is seeking to lose weight might want to focus on the goal of logging food. Every time they complete a food log after a meal the person could reward themselves by having a chart that they tick off that will lead to a specific reward. Every time the person logs their food they will be visually rewarded by seeing that they are approaching a tangible goal. This method provides both an immediate and a long term goal.

So in short, we need to silence out inner drill sergeants. When we fail we need to quiet our self-criticism and practice gentle self-acceptance. We are not accepting our errors nor condoning our poor behaviour. We are merely acknowledging that we are human and not yet where we want to be. We are giving ourselves permission to make mistakes and learn from them. Next, we need to find out what acts as a reward for us and use it regularly to reinforce our positive choices and actions. If we follow this plan we can finally lose our minds… our punitive minds!

A Flash of No-Regret

A Flash of No-Regret
©2015 Scott D. Wilson,P.Eng.

Despite the best of intentions through most of our life, most of us carry some regret. Today, I was given an incredible gift. Before I simply blurt it out I should offer some context.

From Friday evening until Saturday's setting sun is my time of rest. I do my best to spend this time with family and friends in rest, recreation and leisure. Sure, I putter around the house doing chores and repairs but these are labours of love, not my livelihood.

And so today I was chatting with my two adult children and watching old music videos from the 80's. It was during one such video that I was transported back briefly and for one flickering moment I was 17 year-old Scott. I wore his clothes, his shoes, his hair. I saw the choices of his life before him. I saw the beauty by his side who would one day become his bride. And then in a brief moment I rushed forward through my life until I was back sitting in my kitchen with my kids.

In that short ephemeral vision I passed through all my choices in life. I saw my victories, my defeats, my successes and my failures. I experienced all my choices again - both the 'good' and the 'bad'. And I realized that all my actions brought me to this simple time of pleasure with my eldest son and daughter. Right now, everything is pretty well ok. So how could and of those choices been all that bad?

In that instant I had great empathy for all those Scotts of the past. I saw the choices they made with the knowledge, wisdom and experience that life had afforded them. They were good men doing their best with what they had. I do not know if words can convey the love and compassion that I was suddenly able to feel towards my past selves.  I understood how foolish it was to regret past 'mistakes' or 'poor' choices. To change those choices would lead to a now that I might believe would have been better but truth be told, it could easily have been far worse. Perchance the choices that would have made me rich back then would have left me miserable now. Who is to say?

We do not know now how the choices we make today will play out. We seek actions to bring about the best consequences but nothing is guaranteed. Soren Kierkegaard once said "Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards."  It is with understanding that we must release regret.

Regret only robs our present moments of joy and peace. Regret has no value in helping us to move forward towards our goals. Regret makes us harshly judge our past choices and it paralyzes our present ones. If you are one who struggles with regrets then realize today how futile it is. Your past 'errors' may be responsible for some of the best things in your present. Have compassion for your past selves. Forgive them. And with that in your heart and mind root yourself here and now and bravely face the future that your next choices will create!!