Conserve your energy!

Conserve your energy!
©Scott D. Wilson 2014

Daily we are told that we must conserve our limited resources. We are asked to reduce reuse and recycle. This makes sense. Our physical wealth is finite and once we burn or use it up then it is gone.  If we  are not wasteful then we can make the best use of what we have.

As individuals, the principle of conservation holds equally true. We need to use our assets wisely if we intend to succeed. It only makes sense to carefully apply our energies so that we have the power reach our goals. We are human. Each day grants us only so much time and energy. These are non-renewable. You cannot get back one wasted moment of time. So I urge you to act wisely and conserve your energy now. How can we do this?  Of course, I have some suggestions.

Let go of regrets. Regrets tie us to past failures and mistakes.  Regrets steal our power today and prevent us from moving forward. Regrets force us to look backwards yet they cloud honest reflection and impede us from learning anything constructive from the past.  Free yourself from the tyrant of regrets.  See each regret for the anchor that it is and let it go.

Don't let anxiety rob you of this moment. Of course, we must plan and prepare for the future.  However, our fear and worry do not serve to move us towards the goals that we desire. Anxiety takes our energy right now and uses it to dread possibilities and events that may never occur. See fear for the robber that it is and learn to let go of foolish worries.

Do not waste time and effort trying to control or change others.  This is a waste of your precious resources. Instead, use your time and energy to master self-control. We truly cannot change others nor control their actions.  However, if learn to control ourselves then we improve our ability to help and influence those around us.

Do not let the words of others drain you. If we let take it to heart then criticism can sap us of motivation and satisfaction. Instead, criticism can be used for learning. Listen carefully to critics and look for any truth in their statements.  Don't use that truth as a hammer on your ego, but rather use the information to improve yourself and #ç your strengths and weaknesses. As for the rest of their criticism, reject it and let it go.

Similarly, do not use your own thoughts self-destructively. Do not berate yourself hoping to kick yourself to do better. This does not work and it generally erodes our self-esteem and steals our motivation. Focus the energy of your thoughts on self-improvement instead. Take inventory of your strengths and seek to understand your weaknesses. You can build on your strengths and you can find methods to compensate or mitigate your weaknesses. Use your mind's energy to strive towards your goals. Remain creative, not destructive.

Never permit yourself the extravagance of hatred. Hatred wastes time and emotion on others. Your hatred has absolutely no effect on the person or thing that you detest. They move through life blissful unaware and unaltered by your anger.  There is an old proverb that says "Hatred is like drinking poison and hoping that the other person will die."  Save your energy and selfishly forgive.  Forgiveness frees you from the unhealthy obsession with the object of your venom.  Forgiveness does not mean being a doormat to abusive people or circumstances. It simply means letting go of the pain and then standing up for what is right.

Focus on today and its goals. Stay in this moment. Conserve your energies so that you may attain the success for which you strive. Stop wasting your efforts on regret, anxiety, others, criticism, self-loathing and hatred. Use the time, emotions and energy that you have right now to constructively build the tomorrows that you passionately desire!!

Decide! The Deadly Culture of Indecision

Decide! The Deadly Culture of Indecision
©2015 Scott D. Wilson, P.Eng.

“Only when a decision is made and a commitment to action occurs does any real change ever happen.” –SDW

The successful lead. That is a given fact. One phrase often associated with leadership is "a man of action." There is good rean for this association. Good leaders do not waffle or wait to seek consensus. When a faced with a choice they decide and then take action to follow through. That is how they get results. Success is about getting results. Indecision is crippling to leadership.

We are living in a culture of indecision.  We think that making no decision is safer than making the wrong one.  That is a deadly mistake.  Making the correct decision yields good results and we move on.  Making an incorrect decision yields poor results and we face the opportunity to change course and improve. Making no decision yields something and if that thing is good we try to take credit and if it is poor we hold on to deniability because we didn’t make the decision.  This is the mindset of a victim, not a victor. It is certainly not leadership nor is it conducive to any form of success.  Making no decision is actually making the decision not to decide and that can be deadly.

Imagine if an emergency room physician used such a mindset.  Patients would quickly start dying.  Fear of the wrong decision is not an option.  The doctor must choose and work with the results.  If we are to grow and improve then we face the same scenario.  Fear of the wrong choice is no excuse for not making a decision when one is required.  Indecision denies our power.  Indecision doubts our talents and abilities. Indecision withdraws. Only a decision and the commitment to act on it advances forward.

There is a Zen proverb that goes “When you sit, sit. When you stand, stand. Above all, don't wobble.” In martial arts we call this wobbling state being ‘double-weighted.’  A fighter who is double-weighted is vulnerable because their indecision in the face of an opponent has placed them in an unbalanced condition.  If their weight was on one leg or the other then they could seek to advance or withdraw, attack or defend.  In the double-weighted state they are prone to attack and vulnerable to being toppled.  Our poor fighter needs to decide and act in order to correct his situation. Decision must be linked with the commitment to act for it to be effective. An empty decision is no better than indecision.

Is life advancing on you like an opponent and demanding a decision?  Are there areas of your journey were you are faced with a choice on the path?  Do not let indecision rob you of your victory or stop you dead.  In life’s voyage, sitting down at the cross-roads is not truly an option.  Recognize the need for a choice. Believe in yourself and your wisdom to choose.  Make the decision.  Commit to action. Move forward and grow from the experience.

Know that you are the only one stopping yourself.

Know who you are!

Know who you are!

©2015 Scott D. Wilson

High on the side of Mount Parnassus sits the Temple of Apollo and Oracle of Delphi.  Prominently inscribed on the temple walls are the many Delphic maxim.  Among the most famous of these proverbs by far is this one:

γνῶθι σεαυτόν

In ancient Greek it reads "Gnothi seauton" which translates simply to "Know thyself."  Great philosophers and thinkers through the ages have pondered and expounded upon this aphorism.  It seems like such a trite statement: Know yourself.  I mean honestly, we spend twenty-four hours a day with ourselves from cradle to grave.  One would think that we would get to know ourselves pretty well during that time so why bother advising us all to do so?  Surprising, I do think this is often the case.  It has been my experience that we do not tend to pay attention to the commonplace things in our lives.

Unless we come to the point that we are gasping for breath we rarely pay attention to the air that surrounds us.  Until we have been significantly deprived of nourishment then we seldom truly relish the complete experience of food.  It is only when we lose someone significant that we start to understand the depth and breadth of their impact within all the parts of our lives.  So I purport that we humans have a tendency to take ourselves for granted and that we do not truly understand our own hearts and minds very well.  Oh sure, we all carry around an image of ourselves within us but we are constantly amazed when that image is challenged by our own actions and reactions.  We are quite often our own worst enemies and so many of us are perplexed by this fact.

The great Chinese general and strategist, Sun Tzu well understood this important reality of our situation:

“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle”

In our daily situation the enemy and our self are one and the same thing.  It is no wonder that we struggle so often with ourselves and with others.  Clearly, it is much to our advantage to overcome ourselves and thereby succeed in our lives.  To do this we need to truly understand and know ourselves. This is not an easy goal.  Since we drew breath we have been told who we are by others and we have likewise formed our own opinions over time.  We have great investment in these personas and identities.  We like to believe ourselves kind, generous or wise.  We enjoy such labels as being ‘a good father’, ‘a great friend’ or ‘a considerate lover.’  We have unquestionably accepted many titles on our journey through life, both complimentary and degrading.  And when our behaviour does not match a hard-held belief about ourselves then we experience confusion and frustration.

So we are thus confronted with the ancient adage to know ourselves.  To follow this directive takes action.   We must sincerely make the effort and take the time to get to know ourselves.  One needs sober and honest reflection on one’s own actions and reactions.  We are required to put aside the images that we have of ourselves and the identities that others have given to us.  Only then we can truly and honestly ask ourselves who and what we are.

I challenge you to reflect upon your life so far and the actions that you have taken.  Have you been cruel?  Have you been kind?  Were you thrifty or wasteful?  Gentle or harsh?  Look at your emotions and your thoughts.  Seek to be objective.  Neither defend nor criticize yourself.  Above all, try your utmost to be brutally honest but gentle with yourself.  In all likelihood what you learn will both amaze and terrify you.  You will need to gently accept your faults and humbly accept your virtues for both of these aspects define you in all your uniqueness.  You are both saint and sinner, light and dark.  This is okay.

Many reading here must wonder about the payoff of such efforts.  Self-reflection is often painful when we face dark truths about ourselves.  It can also be rewarding as we take inventory of virtues that we have been denying.  Above all, I believe that learning about ourselves helps us to become more effective and successful in our daily efforts.  We interact better with others when we understand who we truly are and who we are not.

From my own experience, I list here below but a few of the many benefits of following the sage advice to “Know thyself”:

• You are equally immune to flattery and insult.
• You accept yourself and in so doing accept all others as they are.
• You become invulnerable to coercion and corruption because you know what you need and why you need it.
• You see that your worst fears guard the pathways to your most passionate dreams.
• You realize that peace, love and happiness are not destinations.  They are the pathway.
• You understand your connection with your environment and source for all life.
• You develop the awareness that you cannot give without receiving or take without losing. 
• You know that hatred gives energy to the things that you hate and so you selfishly conserve your energy and forgive.
• You see the difference between knowledge and wisdom… and choose wisdom.
• You lose the words I’ll try, I think, I hope and I might.
• You use the words I will, I can, I have, I am, and I shall.
• You see with clarity your own folly, flaws, errors and failures and face them without excuse or self-pity.
• You acknowledge and accept the darkness within your own soul.
• Knowing your own short-comings and imperfections you extend gentleness, kindness and love towards the harsh cruelty, fear and selfishness of others.
• Humbly you accept your talents, gifts and virtues and take responsibility to act on them.
• You become free to love abundantly without restraint or conditions.
• Looking outwards you see this world with new eyes.  Nothing changes and yet everything does!

And lastly, you will be able to follow the last directives written at the Oracle of Delphi…

    Παις ων κοσμιος ισθι – As a child be well-behaved
    Ηβων εγκρατης  – As a youth be self-disciplined
    Μεσος δικαιος  – As of middle-age be just
    Πρεσβυτης ευλογος  – As an old man be sensible
    Τελευτων αλυπος  – On reaching the end be without sorrow