The Greatest Power

The Greatest Power

“How far that little candle throws his beams! So shines a good deed in a weary world.” -William Shakespeare, The Merchant of Venice

As an engineer and scientist, I have studied power. Gravitational, nuclear, electrical, chemical, thermal and magnetic forces are just a few of the many cosmic elements of power in the material realm. Science defines power as force acting upon objects to do work. And so it is in mankind’s societies and culture. Worldly power is the ability to influence people to do things.

In science, work is force applied over a distance. Another way of looking at that is to say that work is power applied to make changes in the state of physical objects. Thermal power applied to a pot of water makes it boil. Electrical power applied to a motor makes it turn. The power of an idea applied to people’s lives can change their actions and the very nature of their existence.

It has been my experience that the greatest power in the universe is the power to change a single life. Obviously, this power can be both wisely used or foolishly abused. A harsh cruel word can cripple a soul. A kind act or even a simple smile can soothe a wounded spirit. If we use the power of our choices and actions wisely we can alter the course of a life for the better, and like a droplet of water upon a still pool the effects can radiate outwards into the world touching countless other people and their existences.

Truly, the power to change a single life has an unimaginable impact on the universe. We can never know the extent of the effect across time and space. No one is an island. One life touches so many others throughout bot time and space. With our limited viewpoint all we can personally see is the one existence that we may have changed. Yet our simplest actions could yield effects across many lives and generations.

The question arises: Knowing this now, how does one choose to act upon it? You personally have the greatest unimaginable power to change a single life: your own! Many thoughts will enter your mind today. Will you entertain the positive, constructive and loving ones, or will you dwell upon the dark, fearful and destructive ones? Will you treat yourself with kindness, gentleness and respect, or will you allow yourself to act carelessly inflicting harm to your body, mind or spirit? Will your actions today foster feelings of belonging, joy and peace or will they lead to the poisonous emotions of envy, greed, bitterness and anger.

Many seem to crave power in the hopes to use it to work a change of state in their outer lives. Oddly, these same folks usually fail to use their existing power where it will have the greatest impact working change upon the state of their inner existence. If you truly want the power to shine light upon this marvelous yet weary world in which we live then do it wisely starting with a single life: your own. Begin your good deeds within, that they may then shine forth into all the world through every life that you encounter.

©2017 S.D.Wilson

Frivolously Important

Frivolously Important

©2016 Scott D. Wilson



“Life is far too important to ever take seriously.” –Oscar Wilde & me


I distinctly remember when these words first came to me.  I was in a church parking lot talking to a friend one evening when they came to my mind and I spoke them aloud to him.  I decided then and there that they would be part of my life motto.  It was a few months later that I found that Oscar Wilde had sort of beaten me to the punch; he had said “…life is far too important a thing ever to talk seriously about it.”  Time and the internet morphed his words and you will find the quote above attributed to him.


I will tell you why I think this statement is important.  First of all, it is paradoxical.  I have found that the most profound truths live in paradoxes.  Consider “Love you neighbour as yourself.”   That is a profound paradox concerning the balance between the selfish and the selfless.  Another paradox, the most valuable things in life are free:  life, family and friends.  Where you find a paradox you will likely find valuable wisdom.  My quote today is of equal significant.  This life is important.  It is deeply and extremely important and not to be treated lightly.  That is all the more reason not to kill it with seriousness.  The one thing that virtually everyone, including myself, takes too seriously is ourselves.


All our problems seem larger than life, everything we do seems all important.  Our successes and failures are all-consuming. We invest huge amounts of serious time and emotion into ourselves.  And when life upsets our apple cart we react as if the world itself was ending.  We fail to put our existence into perspective.  We fail to see ourselves as brief unique miracle in the vast timeline of human history.  We take for granted our very existence, forgetting the world before our birth and neglecting the reality after our inevitable death.


As we strive towards success in life let us remember the sacred preciousness of our lives and treat ourselves less seriously.  Imagine that you had a mission of utmost importance that required you to drive for several days across America from one coast to the next.  There would be long hours in the close quarters of a vehicle, and cramped nights in the dingy rooms of roadside motels. Would you choose serious and sombre companions or would you bring along some cheerful, light-hearted and humorous friends?  Your life from cradle to grave is the most important journey that you will ever take.  Keep it joyful.  Don’t take it too seriously.

Psst!

Psst!

©Scott D. Wilson 2014

Psst!  You… yeah you!  I have an amazing secret!  I know the simple trick to be happy and enjoy life on a regular basis!  Wanna know my secret?

Ok, well my secret is pretty simple. There are three essential keys to happiness and enjoyment that you should practice every day. I could summarize them for you but then you might miss the importance and subtleties of each part. So please indulge me as I reveal each element one at a time and explain their application an value. 

Key 1: Be Productive

Productive is a loaded word. What may seem productive to one may seem far less so to another. In this case I would define productivity by giving something back to the world. As an office worker you could be productive through the work that you get paid to do. As a stay at home parent you could view productivity through the activities that you do to make your home and family a blessing to your community. Remember to have a vision of the bigger picture and put yourself in it! If you are a secretary at a doctor’s office you are not writing a reports or filing papers, you are saving lives and healing people. The doctor could not do what he or she does without the efforts of his staff.

Think about the incredible Notre Dame cathedral in France; it took 182 years to build. Those who designed it never saw its completion. If the each person had simply seen themselves as a bricklayer or a carpenter then the work would have seemed dreary indeed, but if each could see how they were contributing to a masterpiece and a timeless work of art then how much better their labour would have seemed! 

Another image that comes to my mind on this matter is camping. When we go camping with our family we try to model and urge our kids to “Leave the campsite better than you found it.” We clean up rubbish and fix whatever things that we can fix. We owe this world so much it does not take much to give a little back. Do not limit productivity to your job or your career. You can be productive merely by smiling at everyone that you meet today. You personally will know that you have been productive if you can look back on what you have been doing during your time on this globe and see that somehow you impacted it and left it better than the way you found it! 

Key 2: Be Creative

Now right here I want to stamp out the notion that creativity and innovation is the property of the crafts and the fine arts. That is ludicrous! Every career and every occupation can employ invention and imagination. Whether you are a garbage man or a CEO you can be creative with your time. Being unique and novel in your approach to a job gives the activity colour and lustre. No matter what it is we can place our own distinctive signature upon it. Lack of creativity in any chore robs it of energy and makes it dull and grey. Any job can become repetitive drudgery no matter how interesting the work may be if we simply “put in time.” 

According to a study cited by Robert McGarvey in his work “Creative Thinking,” 84% of children in Kindergarten rank high in creativity, while 10% rank high in creativity in grade 2.  Unfortunately, our conventional education system has been shown to cause people to lose the ability to think in divergent or non-linear ways. We are literally robbing ourselves of our creativity! The good news is that no matter how young or old you are, you can still rekindle you flame of creativity. To start, be willing to experiment. Ask “What if…” and then try it! Seek to do things differently. Imagine innovative ways to perform daily duties. Whether it is how you brush your teeth to the way you write reports, try something new. An important thing to remember when you embark on your creative journey: Do not be afraid of making mistakes. Fear always withers imagination. Mistakes are opportunities to learn and improve.

Learn to observe yourself as you do things. Look at your habits. Some habits are good but learn to break habits and change routines. Observe your environment and learn from people and things that grow. Inspiration comes from everywhere and anywhere. We have lots of examples how great minds have been stimulated by simply paying attention to and being mindful of the world around them.

Key 3: Grow

Growth means change. Real personal change is generally scary. We are comfortable being just the way we are right now. Change usually involves unknowns and fear of the unknown is a universal human factor. Growing is generally uncomfortable and usually challenging. We need to change our boundaries and question our limitations in order to change constructively. For most of us, the concept of growing seems awkward. After all, aren’t we ‘grown-ups?’ We cringe remembering our teenage years and how awkward we were. Also for many, childhood was not a safe and nurturing period.   Imperfect parents struggling with their own demons can leave scars on us that make us anything but fond at the prospect of revisiting the concept of development.

To illustrate my point, imagine if you were a caterpillar who had been happily munching on leaves and lazily climbing along branches when one day someone comes to you and says that it is time for you to make a change. The individual further explains that you will need to find a safe spot away from any of your predators and you will need to build a cocoon that you will rest inside for a week or two. Finaly, you are told that when you emerge you will be a thin creature with six skinny legs and beautiful wings. You will elegantly fly from flower to flower drinking the nectar of the blooms. I don’t know about you but I’d be pretty freaked out by that story. I’d be telling this person “Thanks but no thanks!” Yet we know this change is natural and normal for a butterfly.

We are not butterflies but we are capable of personal metamorphosis. We see it every day in the heroes around us: the grandmother who got her bachelor’s degree, the teenager who started a charity for homeless kids across the world, or the addict who finally sought help and overcame their demons. Everyone can grow. All it takes is facing our fears and overcoming them little bit each day.

I encourage you to get uncomfortable every day. You can even sit down and write out a list of your fears and then see which ones you can take action to conquer. Your greatest dreams often lie waiting behind your daily fears. How many lost opportunities and regrets will it take for you to finally take a chance on something that you have imagined? I truly believe that so many of us have untapped potential that we fail to explore because we let the views of others and our own excuses get in the way. I, for one, do not wish to reach the end of my days with a heart full of “if only’s” and “I wish I had’s.”

A large part of growing is learning.  Never stop learning.  Whenever possible seek learning opportunities.  Teach yourself something new or make a discovery every day.  Learning helps keep us feeling young and vital!  It is a basic fact that once we stop learning that we stop growing.

Well, that’s it. My three keys for happiness are simple this:

Every day…

• Be Productive!
• Be Creative!
• Grow!

It is that straightforward. Ok, I admit it. I have one more key to happy and joyful living… Have fun! I only add this one here because I do not think that you can do all of the above every day without having fun. Perhaps I should simply state that fun is the catalyst that makes all the elements work! Sure you can do any one component on its own without having fun but I think that it takes fun to put them all together. So there it is: have fun! It may not be the meaning of life the universe and everything but I assure you that if you truly pursue these fundamentals of life daily that you will learn about yourself and your world. You will discover the extraordinary amidst the ordinary, and you will find your own unique path among the stars. I do not guarantee you a life free from trouble or sorrow but I can guarantee that you certainly won’t sleepwalk through your days. And to that end I wish you well in this incredible adventure that we call life!

Letting go of Right

Letting go of Right

©Scott D. Wilson 2014

We all want to be right.  It is natural.  Our primary reason for wanting to be right is because we logically assume that if we are not right then we must be wrong.  We believe that there exists a single unchallengeable objective truth; all other views are therefore wrong and false.  Sadly, this is an error and it is one that causes a lot of grief.  The closest way that I can illustrate this fallacy is with colour.


It is illogical to assume that if something is not white then it must be black.  Just as right and wrong are logical extremes so too are black and white.  White the is actually a mix of all visible light colours while black is the absence of all these same colours.   So it is with right and wrong.  Rarely are we as humans discussing things that are truly cut and dry.  We may think that things are either black or white but that is rarely so.  Just as white light is made up of the various primary colours so too can right have different aspects as well.


By this analogy one could not argue that red is more white than say yellow.  Both colours are equally elements of white light.  The same thing frequently holds true when we argue over what is right and wrong.  More often than not we are usually debating the difference between one element of right and another one.  We are, in effect, discussing red and yellow and arguing that one is more white than the other.  We do this at our own loss; for in so doing we frequently lose the opportunity to learn something about ourselves and our opponent.


Because of the many facets of truth it is impossible for any one person to obtain a monopoly on truth.  As illustrated with the analogy of colour, truth has many facets.  What can make right and wrong, truth and error even more tricky is the fact that many truths exist within paradox.  I am an electrical engineer so I will choose a physical paradox to illustrate this one: light.


Depending on how you choose to observe it light acts either as a particle or a wave.  That fact is paradoxical because particle and wave models cannot be reconciled to each other. The truth is that we truly do not know what this means in regards to light.  The best physics can come up with is that light exists in an undetermined wave/particle state until we try to observe it.  So saying that light is a particle is equally true and false, right and wrong.  It is likewise in regards to light as wave.  Once again, our premise that there must be one correct view and all others views are wrong is proven in error here.


As I stated before, our need to be correct is strong and natural.  No one wants to be in error.  The light paradox should alert us to the fact that often truths are personal based on the observer.  What is right for me may not necessarily be right for you.  Each of us has an obligation to test the validity of things and ideas for ourselves.  We cannot have others do this for us by proxy.  Our experience and view is unique to us and to us alone.


For example, I have a relationship and view of my eldest sister that will in some ways be in complete contradiction to that of her husband, her children or my mother.  My truths about her will only work in the context of our unique relationship as brother and sister.  Those views will no longer be entirely right from someone else’s standpoint.  My sister and I will be confident in those truths between us; we do not need to be right in the eyes of other people.  It therefore becomes important to understand that what is true for us may not be true for others.  Likewise, what may be true in some context is not true in all circumstances.


Confidence in our own truths is another thing which aids us in letting go of right.  If you are truly confident that you are right then you should not feel an obligation to prove it to everyone else.  The need to convince others of our correctness often springs from a lack of conviction on our part.  If what you believe is true then you should be confident that eventually that truth will be revealed to others without the need for your to convince them.  This shows confidence in the nature of our truth.  We need to allow others to find the truth for themselves because in the end it is not right to seek to control them nor to rob them of responsibility for their own lives.


Fear of being wrong is unhealthy and can actually blind us to the truth.  We often invest much time and effort based on what we deem to be right.  This investment can make us biased.  The scholars who worked hard making mathematical models of the solar system with earth at the centre were  hardly open to ideas that Galileo presented.  A sun-centred model meant they had wasted much of their careers.  We all naturally react this way.  In this case, the scholars’ models were wrong and Galileo was right.  Had the scholars been brave enough to consider themselves capable of error then they might have seen the truth in Galileo’s observations.  Do not let fear of error blind you.


My last point in favour of abandoning the need to be right comes from Dale Carnegie in his book “How to Win Friends and Influence People.”  In it he writes:

“You can't win an argument. You can't because if you lose it, you lose it; and if you win it, you lose it.”

The statement may seem to contradict itself but it does not.  We cannot win an argument with someone without making them feel diminished and inferior.  The person’s ego will rebel and it is unlikely the person will be truly convinced of your truth.


There is a psychology experiment where an unfocused image is projected on a wall and the participants in the experiment are asked to guess what the image may be.  In one scenario the participants’ beliefs are challenged and in the control group no comment is given on the person’s guess.  The image is slowly brought into focus and the participants are either challenged or merely questioned on their guess.  The results of the test are remarkable.


Those who were only continually asked what they saw were eventually able to see the actual image when it was brought into focus regardless of what they initially guessed about the image.  However, those who had their guesses challenged became more and more entrenched in their view and often continued to argue their guess even after the image was brought into complete focus.  Some participants could not actually admit when their guess had been completely incorrect.  The experiment showed that the act of arguing itself had actually reinforced the initial views of the parties even when the final outcome had concretely disproven their initial beliefs.  

So even when we win at being right, we lose.  In our efforts to be right we can actually make it harder for others to see the truth that may be plainly before them.  Just like our muscles, beliefs tend to grow stronger under resistance.  This is a counter-intuitive truth.   A better approach in such conflicts is not to nay say but rather inject “Yes and…”  Agree with their truth and present your own views.  By agreeing first we prevent the resistance that will sabotage an open discourse.


In conclusion, it would seem that our need to be right in the eyes of others usually has destructive consequences for ourselves and others.  Truth needs to be seen in context and we need to appreciate that our own truth may not completely translate to the point of view of others.  We need to seek truth and understanding for ourselves and allow others the freedom to do likewise without undue influence.  We should not fear error, but remain open to correction.   Respect the views of others and instead of tearing away at their understanding offer instead your truth to stand beside theirs as an equal.


Letting go of right can go a long way towards peace in ourselves and with others.  We still must find what is right and correct for ourselves.  However, speak your truth quietly and you will find that your influence will extend much further than it ever would by winning some debate.

A Perfect Moment: Moving Towards Self-Actualization

A Perfect Moment: Moving Towards Self-Actualization

 

©2014 Scott Wilson

 

Have you ever had a perfect moment? Some soldiers experience a moment in combat where the battle 'crystalizes', time slows, and they are able to do exactly what needed to be done to stay alive and keep their teammates safe.  I have these moments too but not always in dangerous or stressful situations.  In fact, the one I wish to discuss was quite the opposite.

 

 

It is a day in October 2014. My youngest daughter is twelve years old.  On this day she had a friend over to play. Since the night was drawing late we dragged ourselves off to the truck, and my daughter and I unceremoniously drive her friend back to home.  We drop off her friend so now it is just my youngest and myself wending our way back home through the inky darkness.  The radio is rambling on when it suddenly switches to the song “Crocodile Rock” by Elton John.

 

 

Instantly, the moment crystalizes as my little girl and I begin crooning the lyrics to “Crocodile Rock” together and happily bopping to the beat. It is a moment of sheer joy as we connect together through the notes of a song.  As I look over to her I can see the simple pleasure in her body and her features.  She is simply a young girl just having fun with her dad.  If any cares had existed they have all melted away for both of us in this instant of time.  The world has vanished.  There is just the two of us and the song.

 

 

It is almost like an out-of-body experience as time slowed down and I actually experience myself observing my own moment like I am some disconnected external viewer.  I am suddenly a young teenager back in the 70’s and a present day father all at the same time.  Here is my daughter, the same age as myself when I first sang this song.  This simple music with its catchy tune and peppy lyrics has resonated through the years and generations connecting us in the here and now.  In this moment I feel blessed. Blessed for my own childhood but also blessed for my own child and the joyful time that we can share.

 

 

I do not know if my daughter will ever remember this night but I believe this moment will stay with me forever. It had a brief but powerful impact on me and I am grateful.  Our time on this globe is brief but I swear that we can pack eternity into a single moment if we just let go and allow ourselves to experience it.

 

 

This is not the first time that I have experienced such moments but this is the first time that I have written about one.  In writing about this I came to realize what had occurred.  I had undergone a ‘peak experience.’  The famed psychologist Abraham Maslow was one of the first scientific minds to study this phenomena.  Here is one definition of peak experiences:

 

 

Peak experiences are described by Maslow as especially joyous and exciting moments in life, involving sudden feelings of intense happiness and well-being, wonder and awe, and possibly also involving an awareness of transcendental unity or knowledge of higher truth (as though perceiving the world from an altered, and often vastly profound and awe-inspiring perspective).

 

 

The realization took me by surprise.  I had known about such events, especially those of the successful people that Maslow and others had studied.  Yet I did not immediately recognize these events in my own life as peak experiences.

 

 

Maslow believed that peak experiences were beneficial in our efforts toward self-actualization.  In Maslow’s research of people who were mature and psychologically healthy he found that peak experiences played a strong role in their lives.  To me, that simply meant that this experience was validation that I am on the right path towards becoming who I am meant to be.  In short, it was further evidence of ongoing success.

 

 

Maslow so believed in the importance of peak experience that he began to teach classes that aimed to help people to obtain them.  Maslow felt that our success in life itself could be measured by the frequency of these events. For this reason, I likewise encourage you to develop the conditions that will produce an environment where such events can more readily occur.  Here is a list of actions that Maslow himself proposed to help people on their own path towards peak experiences and self-actualization:

• Experience life like a child, with full absorption and concentration;
• Try new things instead of sticking to safe paths;
• Listen to your own feelings in evaluating experiences instead of the voice of tradition, authority or the majority;
• Avoid pretense ('game playing') and being honest;
• Be prepared to be unpopular if your views do not coincide with those of the majority;
• Take responsibility and work hard;
• Try to identify your defenses and have the courage to give them up.

I personally can say that my peak moments have always occurred when I was truly in the present moment with no cares for the past or anticipation of the future – a child-like state.  My inner voice was utterly silent; the dialogue had stopped. 

I have described to you one of my perfect moments.  It is my hope that you find your own ways that help you to experience such times of clarity and joy.  Maslow himself believed that peak experiences did not require mediation or esoteric practices.  Perfect moments are all around us and available in the here and now.  With that in mind I’d like to close with Abraham Maslow’s very words on the experience of peak moments:

“The sacred is in the ordinary...it is to be found in one's daily life, in one's neighbors, friends, and family, in one's own backyard...travel may be a flight from confronting the sacred — this lesson can be easily lost. To be looking elsewhere for miracles is to me a sure sign of ignorance that everything is miraculous.” — Abraham Maslow

Stop trying to be happy! Just enjoy life! (From guest blog at www.makeyoursomedaytoday.com)

Stop trying to be happy! Just enjoy life!

©Scott D. Wilson 2014



Everyone wants to be happy, right? I mean as far as goals go this one seems to be right up there on most people’s list. The United States constitution even guarantees the right to pursue happiness. So much of the modern advertising industry is built upon the premise of selling the elements that deliver happiness. It is safe to say that trying to be happy is definitely a common priority within our society.

People do many things in their unending efforts to become and remain happy. They seek friendship, love, romance, marriage, children, fame, fortune, spirituality, god and so much more all hoping that these will lead to lasting happiness. It is my observation that all of these things have at best fleeting success in attaining happiness.


Every single one of the ideals that I have mentioned above is mixed with joy and pain, happiness and sorrow. The best friendships will still occasionally disappoint. Romance waxes and wanes. Marriage and families are filled with great joys and heart-crushing events. Even religion and spirituality do not grant immunity to the trials and pains of life.


And yet mankind spends an amazing amount of time and effort chasing the dream of happiness. In this powerful pursuit we demonize sadness and depression. North America is an abundant and rich country where we enjoy a standard of living that far exceeds that of over 60 percent of the world. Still Americans currently spend an estimated $11.3 billion dollars annually on anti-depressants, consuming more per capita than any other nation. American use of anti-depressants skyrocketed 400% from 1988 to 1994. We go to great pains to avoid being unhappy in any way and in the process we treat almost all sadness as an illness.


So what is wrong? Why can’t we seem to lay hold of this ultimate prize despite our herculean efforts? We have material wealth and security like no other nations but we are failing at the very pursuit that our predecessors nobly guaranteed for us. It actually seems that the harder we try obtain happiness the more difficult it becomes to obtain. I actually believe that this principle holds true, and so I propose that it is truthfully our very quest for happiness that causes the problem.


We live in an impermanent world. All things that live will die and everything that is created eventually decays and fails. Why then do we expect our happiness to be permanent? In Zen Buddhism it is believed that our attachment to objects in this ever-changing world that leads to sadness and frustration. There is much truth to this belief, however even detachment will not guarantee happiness just as an absence of pain does not guarantee pleasure. So the problem of happiness remains.


I propose that we release our iron grip on the pursuit of happiness and instead focus our pursuit on joy. No, I am not just playing with semantics. Joy is defined as the emotion evoked by well-being, success, or good fortune or by the prospect of possessing what one desires (from Merriam-Webster). I believe that it is the last part of this definition that is telling: ‘emotion evoked by… the prospect of possessing.’ There can be joy in the pursuit even if the item pursued is not obtained. I would go so far as to say that we can actually enjoy pursuing happiness even if we fail in that pursuit!


I further submit that joy supersedes happiness. As my father lay in pain dying of bone cancer in I enjoyed our much of our time together and so did he. Despite all that my father was experiencing he still enjoyed the simple pleasure of a cappuccino from a local coffee shop. Were we happy? No, not at all. That did not stop joy. In my life and in others I have seen joy in the midst of sorrow, pain and even death.


We need to allow ourselves the ability to experience joy. This often involves slowing down and actually paying attention to and experiencing our lives. We can have goals and quests for worthy ideals but we need to expect that there will be bumps on those journeys. Let not our pursuits rob us of our joy. I have observed people in pain struggling to be happy at Christmas, the supposedly happiest time of the year. In their struggle, these poor souls not only fail to obtain happiness but they deprive themselves of their joy.


Can we still pursue happiness? Yes, but don’t expect to catch it and keep it. Happiness will come and go, and that is alright. Do not run from sorrow especially when the seasons of life call for it. Hold fast to joys, especially the simple ones. Joys can be our greatest treasures in times of tribulation. At all times take pleasure in kindness, smiles and love. In this challenging life, when happiness seems so far off, remember that there can still be great joy in the journey.

Guest blog at "Make Your Someday Today"

I was honoured to be a guest blogger at Trevor LaRene's awesome site: Make Your Someday Today.  My article is entitled "Stop trying to be happy!  Just enjoy life!"

Check it out:

http://makeyoursomedaytoday.blogspot.ca/2014/09/stop-trying-to-be-happy-just-enjoy-life.html