The Blessings of Tribulation

●♥● The Blessings of Tribulation ●♥●

“What seem to us bitter trials are often blessings in disguise.”― Oscar Wilde

We all tend to rejoice over the golden days of our lives.  We remember the times when everything was going well and all our needs were met.  We are thankful for these periods and we mourn when they are lost to us.  We look with scorn and contempt upon the woe and misfortune that befall us.  When we experience them we forever wish that they would end and when they are done with we wish that they had never occurred.  What possible value could there be in our tribulations?  Some answers might surprise you.

In a seven year period how would you like to lose your mother to a long battle with multiple sclerosis, suffer an abusive marriage and divorce, succumb to clinical depression, and end up as an impoverished single mother on welfare?   No, not for you?  What if I told you that it was just such misfortunes that led to the creation of Harry Potter and his incredible wizarding world?  Yep, had J.K. Rowling been able to forego all these tragedies and pains it is quite likely that Harry would have remained little more than a nice idea shared with family and friends. 

The loss of her mother fueled Rowling’s writing about Harry’s loss of his parents.  We see her understanding of abuse in the cruelty of the Dursleys towards Harry.  The Dementors are physical manifestations of Rowling’s own struggles with depression.  Rowling felt like a failure and it is in that place of desperation she wrote her amazing story of a remarkable boy struggling to find his way in a strange unfamiliar world while facing a vicious and powerful enemy.  Even after she had managed to find a publisher who agreed to publish her book, the editor advised Rowling to get a day job since she had little chance of making money in children's books.

Now we look at this all in retrospect.  J.K. Rowling is a household name, a billionaire in the world of authors.  It would be interesting to ask her if she wishes that any of those tragedies had never come to pass.  The reality is that without them there is a good possibility that the circumstances used to create Harry Potter might never have come about.  Continued employment, a stable relationship and relative economic comfort would easily have dissipated any need to write or publish such a story.  Yes, these events remain painful and tragic but their value in developing Ms. Rowling is real and significant. 

I am not saying that misfortunes should be celebrated.  They are and will remain unpleasant and undesirable.  I am however stating that our hardships can and often do have value and it is important to recognize this.  From the adversity, pain and grief of Bill Wilson’s and Bob Smith’s lives came the foundation of Alcoholics Anonymous, an institution that has been responsible for the recovery of millions of lives trapped in addiction. Calamities have many times become the seeds for success.  The legend of the phoenix rising from its own ruin plays out in real life and in many actual lives.  It is an unfortunate truth that change is frequently fueled by pain.  We tend to avoid the discomfort of change until it becomes too painful or dangerous to remain the same.

In the film “It’s a Wonderful Life” George Bailey gets to see the value of his own life by discovering what would happen if he had never existed.  It would be an equally interesting film to see what would have happened if George had been spared many of the disappointments of his life.  For example, had George’s dad stayed healthy a little longer then he would likely have travelled, gone to college and perhaps Mary and their marriage might never have become part of his life.  Our lives can indeed be equally defined by both our triumphs and our tragedies.  

One of my greatest sorrows is the loss of my twin daughters.  Yet without this brutally heart-breaking event I would not have any of the children that I have today.   Death set in motion the possibilities for life that would not have been otherwise possible.  So I must accept that my ultimate grief birthed my greatest joys.  This is a paradoxical truth for me.  Ends create beginnings and creation destroys that from which it is created.  Baking a cake obliterates wheat, eggs, sugar cane and milk.  Personally realizing this truth can grant one significant peace.  As a father, my heart will forever ache for Sarah and Amy but I bless the brevity of their lives for bringing me Jeremiah, Courtney, Allison and Kimberley.

I write these words for two reasons.  First, if you are in turmoil now then understand that you may be at the genesis of something new and beneficial in your life.  Suffering does not guarantee improvements but it can offer the potential for growth and personal change.  You will reap great benefits if you are able find the gains within your losses.  Secondly, when life drags up the pains of your past then do your best to avoid indulging in regret.  Seek instead to remember any lessons that were learned and consider possible benefits that you derived while passing through your trials.  Think on the helpful circumstances, people, places and things that may have entered your life as a result of your difficulties.  Become comfortable with this paradox for we can achieve greater joy when we discover the blessings of tribulation.

©2018 Scott D. Wilson

Sticky Problems!

Sticky Problems!

©Scott D. Wilson 2014


Whether you are an illustrious business tycoon or a lowly street sweeper life is full of trials and problems.  Married or single, rich or poor, famous or obscure, the process of living presents us daily with challenges that we need to face.  Author and speaker Helen Keller once so eloquently put it:

“The struggle of life is one of our greatest blessings. It makes us patient, sensitive, and Godlike. It teaches us that although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it.”

Troubles are a universal part of the human condition and will continue to be so for as long as we exist.  Many make it their goal in life to avoid as many problems as possible but that is futile. It is far wiser to learn how to better handle the challenges that befall us.  I work as an engineer.  Engineers are often viewed as professional problem-solvers because they tend to have a knack for developing solutions to physical problems.  One thing I have learned is that how you look at a difficulty has the greatest effect on your ability to discover a solution to it.


I once took a driving course called "Skid School" where they purposefully put us in vehicles and caused them to skid and spin.  Our job was to skillfully apply what they taught us in the classroom to recover from the skids, regain control of the car and avoid hitting objects on the road.  The most valuable lesson that I learned from this experience was simply this:  We tend to hit the thing that we look at.


In driving, the instructors emphasized that many people unintentionally get stuck staring at an unexpected object that enters their driving path. The people then unfortunately tend to hit these random distractions.  During one lesson we drove a car down a slippery road and an instructor would move an object from either the left or right side and we had to avoid it even when the vehicle started to skid.


It is so instinctive for us to focus on the problem when it appears.  Many in the class saw the object in their path and despite carefully braking they were helpless to avoid colliding with it because they kept their attention on the obstacle.  The instructors explained that to avoid the problem the driver needed to look beyond it towards the destination that the wanted to go.  When we learned to look down the road we could readily avoid the obstacles that suddenly appeared on the path even though our cars were on slippery roads and began to skid.


In the final lesson the instructors sent the cars into a rear wheel skid with the car viciously spinning in circles.  The students had to recover control of the vehicle and keep the cars on the road and going in the original direction.  Again, to do this the drivers had to maintain focus on the destination, far off down the road that they were travelling.  I learned that day that I could recover from a very dangerous skid as long I kept my eyes on where I wanted to keep the car going.


I offer this long-winded story on safe car driving to illustrate a common flaw in how we often approach less tangible problems in our lives.  When we encounter challenges in life so many of us lose sight of our goals and spend our time looking at the barriers.  This is somewhat instinctive and natural.  Fear draws our attention away from the objective that we seek and desire!


This mistake seems to happen in so many areas of our lives.  In engineering we can get lost trying to fix a technical issue when we might do better looking at developing alternative ways to achieve the same objective.  When looking at our health we tend to get stuck looking at our diseases rather than improving well-being.  With fitness we get mired focusing on our weight and our fat when developing our muscles and overall health would serve us better.

We can plainly see this kind of thinking at work throughout our society.  We have anti-bullying campaigns not inclusivity and empathy programs. There are anti-poverty initiatives but very few prosperity movements.  As good intentioned as they may be, it is my experience that anything with an 'anti' focus tends to exacerbate the undesirable element.  Many bad ideas and thinking unfortunately thrive through resistance rather than diminishing. 

I have discovered that when I let go of the problem and start to focus again on where I want to go that the best ideas to address my present situation arise.  Whether it is my weight, my finances, my personal relationships or my job, I have learned that the fears about my goals become distractions.  My success is surer when moving towards the goal remains the objective rather than avoiding the pitfalls.


So I encourage you today to approach your troubles better.  Let go of your sticky problems.  Look again down the path towards the goals that you want to achieve.  Keep your attention on what moves you forward and not on the things that block your path or have you looking backwards.  Only then will you be able to keep control, steer clear and keep on the road to success!