Filled with "I Can"

Filled with “I Can”

©2015 Scott D. Wilson, P.Eng.

This world we live in is marvelous and inspiring but it is also draining. Day to day labour is frequently both physically and mentally taxing. This life rarely offers back many ‘atta-boys’ for the efforts that we put into it. This simple reality is seems immutable and eternal. So how then do we continue to press on and remain focused on goals that better us and our surroundings? What keeps us fixed on our target?

Success is about attaining sought after objectives. Success is about achieving. Part of what stops us in our quests it the ‘I can’ts.’ We get stuck focusing on our limitations. We fail to see what we can do because we are looking at what we cannot do. This in itself is a tragedy of our culture and our upbringing.

When we bring children into the world they perceive it as a place filled with infinite possibilities, and rightly so. They are filled with ‘I cans.’ It is one of our jobs as parents and as a society to expose our children to as many experiences as we can that will test their potential and expand their horizons. We are to encourage them in their many pursuits and in interests as much as we are able. In short, we need to let them play with their possible ‘cans’ and allow them to discover their potential. But alas, this is often not the case. All too soon children are faced with an enormous number of ‘can’ts’ – some real but many others virtual or imposed.

Certainly physical age and immaturity place limitations on a child’s abilities. Likewise economic status and geographic considerations also curtail certain possibilities. However, those are not the boundaries that I am speaking about. It is the more subtle ‘can’ts’ that drain us and prevent us from pursuing dreams and exploring possibilities. We have all heard them…

• You can’t make money at that.
• Nobody has done that before.
• I don’t think that can be done.
• I doubt that *you* can change that.
• It has always been that way.
• No one really needs that.
• Only a *lucky* few can do that.
• It’s too hard.
• That’s impossible.
• It’s ok, nobody does that any way.

We whisper these worldly lies primarily with the aim of sparing the child the pain of failure and disappointment. We do not want them to suffer. We are focused on their pragmatic material welfare. We want them to prosper in the material world because the material world is where we exist. We don’t want them to put their economic lives at risk. We want them to take the safe path. And there is nothing wrong with that. The safe paths lead to relatively nice jobs and decent lives. They serve the majority of mankind quite well.

However, are these safe paths the ones that will lead to humanity’s success? Is it fair to teach our offspring to be risk averse? A safety net is a good thing, but it would be a boring circus if we saw all the performers lounging in it. We encourage people to risk love because we intuitively know the stagnant consequence of locking our hearts away and never feeling the pain of a failed love. Yet we fill ourselves and those around us with ‘can’ts’ instead of ‘cans’ because we cannot fathom the consequences. On the whole, we do not encourage people to aim high. Soon the ‘you can’ts’ of others become our own internal ‘I can’ts.’

Today, I want to change that. Look inward. What dreams have you suppressed because of ‘can’ts’ that came from both yourself and others? For a moment suspend your disbelief in yourself. Do not look at what you perceive to be your inabilities. Look towards your ‘I cans.’ Start filling yourself up with them. Here are a few to start:

• You can choose a different way.
• You can risk.
• You can choose to change.
• You can let go of the past.
• You can stop.
• You can begin.
• You can create.
• You can learn.
• You can forgive.
• You can accept yourself.
• You can dream.
• You can dance.
• You can love.

Keep going. If you are honest you will realize that you are full of potential ‘I cans.’ There are far more ‘cans’ than ‘can’ts’ within us but we need to see them and we need to realize them. Today is your day to start. Take the time to start listing your ‘I cans’ and come to see the possible paths before you that you never considered – and start acting on them! As a bonus, begin helping others to find their ‘I cans’ and in the process you will learn some new ones about yourself!