Invisible Heroes

●♥ Invisible Heroes ♥●

“The battles that count aren't the ones for gold medals. The struggles within yourself – the invisible battles inside all of us – that's where it's at.”

–Jesse Owens

The world best knows Jesse Owens for the gold medals that he won in the 1936 Olympics in Berlin, Germany.  However, his life shows us that he had to overcome many personal trials and troubles well beyond those we saw on the athletic field.  So too it is with each one of us.  Every visible victory that we can actually witness has been preceded by the triumph of countless savage internal battles.

Sure, we see and cheer the winning goals and the home runs but we never see the motivational struggles to practice in the early morning hours.  We keep score of all the touchdowns but we do not count all the decisions to make the effort that keeps improving the best and making it better.  Yet these are the necessary and heroic choices that play out daily and yield the wins that we all applaud.

We do not see the real wars that define our society.  If we could then we would soon realize that we are surrounded by invisible heroes.  We would see the tired and lonely person behind the cheerful smile of our friendly server.  We would know and understand the disappointment and failed dreams of our productive co-worker.  In short, we would see the scars and wounds on people’s hearts and souls and I think we would become far more kind, forgiving and understanding.

I recognize that we all need ideals to encourage and inspire us; the big shiny heroes that media and society regularly hail feed that appetite.  I do not want to take away from those people and their achievements.  What I am hoping to do is twofold.  First, I would like us to open our eyes and our minds to the invisible heroes that circulate around each and every one of us.

We may not see their struggles but we should know that everyone has them and we need to realize that even the most mundane of us can be waging heroic battle and overcoming some very real demons in just to keep going every day.  Earning a living, keeping a loving family together, being a good friend and citizen… these simple things should not be downplayed or undervalued.  We all know and see the terrible costs when individuals lose the invisible wars.

Secondly, I would like us to acknowledge our own invisible struggles and victories.  We need to give ourselves credit for wrestling with our own fears. We may not always outwardly succeed when we choose to oppose our fears, but I assert that we always win somehow when we make that choice.  When we turn away from the darkness and choose life and living, no matter how hard, then that is a victory.  When life slaps us hard and yet we choose to push back our tears and try again tomorrow that is triumphant!  

Yes, we should celebrate when we achieve or make progress towards outward goals.  So too should we rejoice when we overcome the naysayers in our minds and opt to hold true to our hearts dream.  Heroes are made from the inside out and there are far more heroes than we ever acknowledge.  Let’s see ourselves and each other with new eyes today.

Perhaps that person that you smiled at is fellow warrior in heart of a battle and you just provided them some more ammo to continue the good fight.  Acknowledge your own silent conflicts and make note when you make difficult positive choices.  Be compassionate both within and without.  Remember that though not all battles yield gold medals this does not mean that they do not count.  The ground you gain in your heart today make be the seed to the success that shines through tomorrow.  

Cheers!

©2020 Scott D. Wilson

The Final Frontier

The Final Frontier

“The human mind is the last great unexplored continent on earth. It contains riches beyond our wildest dreams. It will return anything we want to plant.”
–Earl Nightingale (The Strangest Secret)

The curious apes on this terrestrial ball hurtling through the cosmos press ever onward spending billions of dollars sending probes and robots off into outer space where no man has gone before. Meanwhile, we largely ignore the seemingly infinite frontiers of our hearts and minds. Don’t get me wrong. I fully understand the need to explore the external reality in which we live in order to better understand it and interact with it. However, we do not likewise encourage the human race to explore the mysteries deep within us.

Daily we interact with and manipulate the outside world and our surroundings while we essentially disregard our inner workings. We believe that mastering the external will bring us happiness and contentment. We strive for security, wealth, power, notoriety, health and other boons with the aim of attaining joy and peace. Our continuous creed becomes “If I can just…” Then we can’t understand how our victories do not seem to bring any lasting satisfaction. We puzzle at how our emotions do not line up with goals but instead seem to sabotage our efforts at every turn. We likewise ponder why we fail to impose order on our surroundings when we never bother to bring the emotions and thoughts of our inner worlds into order.

Scientists carefully map and chart the laws and principles that govern material existence yet they desperately avoid setting foot in the vast frontier of the internal being, relegating it to the mystics and the sages. Granted, some brave psychologists have ventured in but most stop at the pragmatic level in regards to illness or aptitude. In the physical world we equip people with the rules and tools for social interaction and physical safety: look both ways before crossing the street, always say please and thank you and follow the golden rule. Yet there is precious little guidance for travelling within the vast and lonely expanses of our own souls. Some of history’s greatest tragedies appear to be those who may have gotten lost within themselves and failed to find a way back home.

Our emotions and thoughts form a treacherous and dangerous landscape full of dark corners and hidden traps. Truth and lies intermix along with the selfish and selfless. Inside we are fallen creatures trapped between the glories of heaven and the torments of hell. It is no wonder that we often portray inner conflict as a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other. The common person daily contends alone with their noble and the despicable selves. Society teaches us to keep out inner and outer worlds separate. We are encouraged to keep our hearts and minds private and hidden. Our personal demons are something shameful that we must tackle alone. Meanwhile, every day we must successfully walk both in the outer world and within our inner space. As tricky as it may be, we need to survive perils of both lands.

All the wisdom literature that I have encountered is clear about this: we must successfully manage our interior life if we truly want to attain meaningful success our visible life. We cannot do this if we fail to harmonize and integrate our inner land with our outer one. Few and rare are those who are able to do this task alone. Societies like Alcoholics Anonymous have demonstrated the incredible power of sharing our inner torment with others. In safe situations with others we can bravely begin to explore, map and tame our internal frontiers. The darkness gradually loses its power in the light of love and acceptance.

Here is the truly amazing thing, as we bravely uncover and deal with our own shadows we often discover that they are masking the best and brightest parts of ourselves. When we acknowledge the presence of the devils, a host of angels is often revealed. There will be a mix of sobering revelations and joyful surprises. Many uncover their greatest strengths through struggles with their greatest weakness. This is where Earl Nightingale was going with the statement that I quoted. Our minds and hearts contain hidden riches worth finding amidst the dangers.

I can guarantee that if you dare to brave the journey inward that you will discover one of the greatest of life’s treasures: your authentic self. This won’t be the person that your parents and family told you that you are. It won’t be there person that you think you have to be for your friends and society. It won’t even be the person that you think you are. It will be genuinely you, and you will be remarkable. As you cut away the inner lies and false beliefs you will free a newer and truer self.

As you come to understand and accept who you really are then you will begin to learn your real needs and intrinsic motivations. In meeting those needs you will experience less internal strife and conflict; your inner self will begin to support you and your goals. The most remarkable thing is that you will never uncover the end of yourself. Each and every day can yield new amazing discoveries. You will never declare that you completely know and have conquered yourself. This is the real final frontier and its greatest riches.

So when your world seems in disarray it is wise to take the time to pause and look away from the external problems. Breathe easy and steal your heart and mind to look inward to see the very sources of chaos within yourself. Find those you can trust to help you with what you find there. Let go of shame; we all hold some darkness within. Discover your best amongst your worst. Uncover the real you. As you improve your inner life you will find your outer one is equally improved. When you harmonize your inner and the outer spaces you will begin to reap the great rewards of your final frontier.

“As above, so below, as within, so without …”
― Hermes Trismegistus



©2018 Scott D. Wilson

Perfect Imperfection

●●●Perfect Imperfection●●●

“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.” ―Albert Einstein

The wise person realizes that we can only ever know an infinitesimally small percentage of the vast reality which surrounds us and we can understand even less. In that awareness of the universe the wise one knows how ignorant and foolish he or she truly is.  Meanwhile, the average person generally misguidedly accepts his or her limited understanding for reality itself and finds frustration when that understanding is challenged.

Einstein was correct, human ignorance or stupidity is infinite.  We can never possibly hope to grasp a complete understanding of all that exists everywhere in this unending universe.  Likewise, one man or woman within their limited lifespan can only hope to master and comprehend of a miniscule fraction of all that can be experienced and understood.  Even among our chosen fields of expertise we can never sit down and proclaim our perfection of any ability.

I graduated as an electrical engineer in 1990 and yet I never expect to be the perfect electrical engineer.  I got married in 1991 and still I doubt that I will ever be a perfect husband.  I have been writing for decades and I highly doubt that I will ever perfect my craft.  Yet many keep striving day in and day out to “get it right.”  Whether it is their career, family matters, financial success, weight loss or other worthy pursuits, so many people long for the day when everything just clicks into place.

Our lives simply do not work that way.  It is not about finding the perfect spouse, the perfect job, the perfect parenting method, the perfect diet and exercise or the perfect life.  When we choose this viewpoint then the goalposts will always be moving and we will find ourselves constantly dissatisfied and disappointed.  Our ideals will torture and haunt us instead of spurring us on to improve.  We never learn to celebrate improvements because they fall short of our ultimate expectation.  Goals become drudgery and dreams become nightmares.

This thinking is so commonplace that a great many people feel trapped, desperate and demotivated.  It is no wonder that many quit their goals.  Understandably, a wiser gentler path is not apparent to them.  And so I hope that my words act as a kind of map that helps you to find this different side-street.  There is joy in discovering a way that realizes that perfection is process, not a destination.  One can discover peace of mind on a trail that rejoices in each step forward, no matter how small.  Life can follow a journey where dreams and goals shine brightly before us, leading us on a winding and adventurous pathway.  We can follow road that has abandoned getting it right and embraced getting it better.

If you are one who finds themselves hoping for their life to just start working perfectly one day, please consider that your very desire is causing you grief.  Entertain the idea that personal progress is a better means to keep one motivated and moving forwards.  Use your ideals wisely and you can find perfect contentment amidst imperfection when you come to realize:

“Life is not about getting it right.Life is about getting it better.” –Me

Cheers!
©2017 Scott D. Wilson

Breaking Free of Your Thoughts

–Breaking Free of Your Thoughts–

“You will never be free until you free yourself from the prison of your own false thoughts.” –Philip Arnold

In the TV series “House M.D.” the main character’s tagline and principle philosophy is “Everyone lies.” It is cynical but unfortunately also largely true. However, like Dr. House, we often focus on the external lies that we tell others. The reality is that before we lie to others we first and foremost lie to ourselves. It is with those false thoughts, one by one, that our personal prison walls are built:

- I’m not pretty enough
- Others can. I can’t.
- I’m not smart enough
- They are special. I’m not.
- I’m not smart enough
- I just have bad luck.

We wall ourselves in making our world smaller and smaller. Our meager expectations become our limits. Creativity is for the artistic and the talented. Invention and innovation are for the gifted and the bright. Our fears solidify into concrete barriers that we never dare to test. Risks become the things that the lucky and the special people take, not us. Safety becomes our prime directive, and there we remain safe and sterile. Change is both dangerous and uncomfortable and to be avoided.

Sure, most of us decorate our cells with all the many comforts of life and we dream that are truly free while all the while our minds yearn to think free and follow the passions of our hearts. Make no mistakes, the prison bars are there in our thinking and our fears guard the doors to freedom. If we truly want real liberty then we must begin to challenge our own beliefs about ourselves. When we reach an apparent limit and we hear our thoughts screaming “I can’t” or “I’m not” that is when we must stop and confront our own words and thinking. I am not exaggerating when I tell you that your freedom may lie just beyond “I cannot” and “I am not.”

Professional athletes know that the barrier between better and best is not physical, but mental. They must humble themselves mentally by admitting that they may not know the true boundary of their bodily abilities. Skill and talent take one so far but to achieve our utmost our minds need to be free enough to believe beyond the limits that we perceive. I know that we are not all called to challenge our physical bodies to the same degree as skilled runner or a prima ballerina. However, we all have the same ability dream and imagine and to drive our own abilities further.

Our minds are powerful devices and truly without limits. We can conceive the most marvelous and amazing things. In my lifetime many miracles have been achieved through science and technology that most thought would be impossible. In days gone by many learned people argued that man would never fly, and now we not only tour the globe but we blast into the depths of outer space. If the brilliant minds of the past were wrong about mankind’s limitations then could you be in error about your own?

If you truly desire real freedom then start with your mind. If you are not following your dreams or achieving your goals then take some time to look at your reasoning and excuses. Pay attention to those “cannots” and “are nots.” When you hit one of your believed limits then stop and take some time to deal with it. Write it down if you need to do so. Now imagine if that limit did not exist. Dream about the ways around your problem. Let your mind wander and wonder.

Earl Nightingale, the great self-improvement pioneer, encouraged people set aside time daily to look at their dreams and their challenges. He reasoned that this discipline would engage our hearts and minds to create the pathways to our solutions and our dreams. The goal would remain fresh in our conscious and unconscious thoughts and innovative possibilities would arise and come to mind. This is true as long as these ideas don't get caught and tangled in our false thinking.

If we truly want the freedom to grow, change and succeed then we need to liberate our minds. We need to address and question our limiting thoughts. Daily, bring your goals to mind and allow yourself the time regularly to dream and create new solutions. Break your heart and mind out of your prison of false thoughts and set them free overcome the fears and illusions that once limited them!

“Your mind can be either your prison or your palace. What you make it is yours to decide” ―Bernard Kelvin Clive

Cheers!
©2017 S.D. Wilson

Losing Your Fat Mind

Losing Your Fat Mind

By Scott D. Wilson

“No diet will remove all the fat from your body because the brain is entirely fat. Without a brain you might look good, but all you could do is run for public office.”

–Covert Bailey

I work on a web site that helps people to change their lifestyles in order to lose weight and keep it off.  One of the biggest mistakes that I see people making there every day is this:

They believe that losing a pound equals losing a pound of fat AND gaining a pound means gaining a pound of fat.

This is just plain WRONG and it is a self-defeating way to think. We are complex creatures. It would be so nice if our bodies immediately counted every calorie eaten and every calorie burned through living and activities and then either sent out messages to the fat cells to shrink or grow. We want that level of control over ourselves. Unfortunately, it does not simply work that way.

First off, the number that we see on our scales is composed of our bodies' fluids, bones, muscles, tissues, organs and fat. In an ideal world our bones, fluids, muscles and tissues would be in perfect unchanging equilibrium and only our fat would fluctuate based on our eating and activity. Alas, this is not so. All of these things that are NOT fat are subject to change for many many reasons.

Intense workouts can result in heavier muscles, not just from growth, but from fluid build-up as the muscles repair themselves. Likewise, both muscle and bone mass can deteriorate if our food intake is too restricted. These non-fat elements fluctuate naturally throughout the day, month and week. They are affected by our foods, our activities, our environment, our hormonal cycles, our sleep patterns and many other factors. Unlike fat, calories are not generally a factor for these pieces of us and we need to accept that we do not have the power or control to keep their weight stable all the time.

Next, our bodies are not waiting with baited breath to turn food into fat or to in turn take fat and turn it into energy for activities. Many and various processes take place between the consumption of food and its disposal.  Also, food is not purely fuel, it is also the building blocks for replacement cell like skin, hair, muscle, blood, etc.  When starting weight loss it is good to focus purely on learning about calories, however eventually it will be wise to also look at the quality and type of foods that we eat. Salty foods cause retention of water and fluids and this can result in significant spikes on the scale. Different foods are all digested differently and this means that their effects can vary both in the generation of fat but also in their effect on the mass of all our other body parts.

Finally, it should be noted that each of us has both a unique metabolism that is the result of our past lifestyle and our genetics. Consequently, it is possible that merely counting calories can reach stages where weight loss will slow or stall for prolonged periods because we are eating foods that are not working well with our bodies or we are not choosing activities that optimal for our physiques. We may need to tweak and experiment with various elements of our eating to see the effect they have on our weight.

Like food, activity and exercise have different components. Endurance, or aerobic, activities increase your breathing and heart rate; these are the activities most associated with weight loss. Strength and anaerobic exercises make your muscles stronger; stronger muscles also burn more energy and thus improve weight loss. Balance exercises improve your agility and stability, and flexibility exercises stretch your muscles and can help your body stay limber. In truth, our life activities should have a variety of all the exercise components. It is up to each of us to determine what that will look like and what works for us as individuals.

Change your thinking and your focus when you step on the scale. Lose your fat mind. Whether the numbers move up down or stay the same, breathe easy and know that it is composed of many elements, not just fat. Fat is actually in the minority, even in the obese. Remind yourself that all you bones, fluids, tissues, organs, and yes, fat make up that number. You generally cannot take complete control over all these parts. Some of them will fluctuate beyond your control.

If you are confident in your logging of food and exercise then use the number on the scale merely as a variable that helps you to adjust your efforts and your lifestyle. Know and remember that if you are earnestly choosing to take control of your eating and your activeness then you are already winning despite what the scales says.

“It's true, the scale can only give you a numerical reflection of your relationship with gravity. That’s it. It cannot measure beauty, talent, purpose, life force, possibility, strength, or love. Don't give the scale more power than it has earned. Take note of the number, then get off the scale and live your life. You are beautiful!” ―Steve Maraboli

©2017S.D.Wilson

What Are You Waiting For?

What Are You Waiting For?

“I will act now. I will act now. I will act now.

Henceforth, I will repeat these words

each hour, each day, every day,

until the words become

as much a habit as my breathing,

and the action which follows becomes

as instinctive as the blinking of my eyelids.

With these words I can condition my mind

to perform every action necessary

for my success.I will act now.” – Og Mandino

Tomorrow, it is the curse of mankind. Tomorrow is a thief – a con man! We foolishly give it our dreams, our goals and our hopes, and it gives us nothing in return. We always think the cheque is in the mail. We always naïvely believe that tomorrow will come and bring us our reward. A better day is always on the horizon. Instead, today we receive the bills for the unpaid efforts of yesterday. It is far too easy to live in the mediocre satisfaction of today. We need to become uncomfortable now!

In our discomfort we can see what we are sowing. We can know the results before they come. We can choose a different path before the road that we are on becomes a one-way street. We can beat tomorrow by winning the game today! We can stop putting off what we know is needed. We can stop thinking and start doing. Tomorrow will enlist fear to stand in our way… to block our path with visions of failure and disaster. It will soothe us with the luring promise that circumstances might be more favorable later.

Plug your ears against its numbing siren song! Face fear head on! Arm yourself with your passions and your love. Pick up the sword of self-esteem and cut a path forward through the underbrush of procrastination one small stroke at a time. Health will be yours! Success will be yours! Prosperity will be yours! Life will be yours! Take back the hopes and dreams from tomorrow and start building them today. Act now.

Are you waiting for tomorrow to deliver on its promises?  Don’t be fooled; stop waiting for the scam artist. Instead, spend your precious time wisely.  Heed the victory call, “Act now. Act now. Act NOW!”  Become impatient. Squeeze the best out of today. Drain this moment of all its potential. Act like tomorrow may never come. Chase all regrets from today.

What are you waiting for? The time for in action and waiting has passed.  If you truly want success then the time to act is now.  If you want results then you need to make their cause happen at this time.  Make this day your day.  Let us abandon tomorrow and its empty promises. No more accidents.  Live your life on purpose.  Know that all you crave lies behind your fears – so face them with ferocity! Lay hold of your birthright… your authentic self and a genuine life!

Huzzah!
©2017 Scott D. Wilson

The *Real* Secret

The *Real* Secret

By Scott D. Wilson

magical thinking:  irrational belief that one can bring about a circumstance or event by thinking about it or wishing for it; normal in preschool children, it also occurs in schizophrenia. (Farlex Partner Medical Dictionary © Farlex 2012)

There is a mindset in circulation these days that preys upon the weak and the vulnerable in our society.  It plays upon the hopes and dreams of those who seek to improve their lives.  It has many names; “The Secret” and “The Law of Attraction” are but a few.  They all make the premise that wishful thinking and a positive attitude are all that it needed to bring about prosperity and success in one’s life.  They all peddle books and videos that are designed to help people develop the right thinking and emotions.  Here are a few quotes from “The Secret” that illustrate the errors I am talking about:

“Ask once, believe you have received, and all you have to do to receive is feel good.” 

“Your wealth is waiting for you in the invisible, and to bring it into the visible, think wealth!” 

“Food cannot cause you to put on weight, unless you think it can.”

Plain and simple, these statements are prime examples of magical thinking that will bring about disappointment and disillusionment.  Reality, such as food, does not truly bend to the power of our minds.  What is genuinely sad is that these mindsets are all filled with half-truths that have been exaggerated into outright lies.  Controlling our thinking is important.  Controlling our thinking does affect what we have and what we become.  However, the process is not magical, nor does it involve any mystical laws or principles.  In 1977 a fellow named Frank Outlaw outlined the process quite well:

“Watch your thoughts, they become words; watch your words, they become actions; watch your actions, they become habits; watch your habits, they become character; watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”

 What we think about affects our attitude, actions and habits that ultimately become out character.  Our actions, attitude and character are viewed by others and thereby significantly affect the outcome of our lives.  This has nothing to do with simply thinking positively and remaining grateful and then expecting the universe to deliver everything on a silver platter.  We must control our thoughts because they generate attitude and actions that affect all that we interact with around us, and there is nothing magical or spiritual about that fact.

Earl Nightingale created an audio recording in 1956 called “The Strangest Secret.”  The recording sold over a million copies, making it the first spoken-word recording to achieve Gold Record status.  It is now public domain so one can find copies of it all over the internet.  Below is a link to a transcript of the recording:

http://www.nightingale.com/articles/the-strangest-secret/

In reading it one can clearly see that its ideas are the basis for the fad video and book “The Secret.”  Unfortunately, the latter has depleted all the value from Nightingale’s work and replaced it with irrational and vacuous claims.  If you want to know the *real* secret, Nightingale states it quite clearly:

“We must control our thinking. The same rule that can lead people to lives of success, wealth, happiness, and all the things they ever dreamed of and that very same law can lead them into the gutter. It’s all in how they use it … for good or for bad. That is The Strangest Secret!”

And he further clearly explains exactly how this principle works, through goals:

“The difference is goals. People with goals succeed because they know where they’re going. It’s that simple. Failures, on the other hand, believe that their lives are shaped by circumstances … by things that happen to them … by exterior forces.”

Nightingale also clearly outlines the mundane yet simple principle by which people become wealthy:

“Your success will always be measured by the quality and quantity of service you render. Most people will tell you that they want to make money, without understanding this law… Success is not the result of making money; earning money is the result of success and success is in direct proportion to our service.”

That is the essence of the ‘secret’. There is nothing magical or wishful here. It is all perfectly good common sense advice. Mister Nightingale gives his listeners a 30 day plan with actions for what a person can do to start becoming successful and ultimately wealthier. The key word here is ‘do.’ Success requires action, substantial and constructive action. Thinking and attitude are very important parts of this equation but they are merely the beginning of the process.

Whether our goal is losing weight or becoming wealthy, the universe does not respond purely to our thoughts and emotions. It responds to what we do with our thinking and attitude.  People like Oprah Winfrey and J.K. Rowling did not become wealthy and successful by simply thinking about wealth and having a great attitude.  They became successful through their wisely chosen personal goals and by increasing their own value to others through their exemplary service.  This is the honest and simple truth of the *real* secret that Nightingale wisely explained some sixty years ago so don’t be duped by the simplistic thinking of today’s prosperity gurus.  As the old advertisement goes “Accept no substitutes!”

©2017 S.D. Wilson

A Tip on Cycles and Energy

A Tip on Cycles and Energy

©Scott D. Wilson

We live in a world of cycles: breathing, heartbeats, day and night, weekly, lunar, seasons, et cetera. Some of these we are more aware of than others. We definitely notice when our breathing is interrupted. Others are far more subtle and therefore less noticeable. Still others are almost invisible to us as we generally lack the awareness to perceive their ebb and flow but they affect us nonetheless. It is these cycles that I wish to discuss here along with their importance in our various quests for success.

The ancient Chinese philosophy of Taoism has long studied the nature of cycles and change. One of the most notable Taoist texts is the ‘I Ching’ which loosely translate to ‘The Book of Changes’ is dedicated to the study of the characteristics of change. Some dismiss this writing as mere book of divination. This is not the case. The I Ching is an observation of the nature of change. The Chinese saw all changes as resulting from the flow of energy or power between opposites or polarities. Just as electric current flows from negative to positive so to do other forms of power. Water flows from high to low. Heat flows from warm to cold. It is this cyclic change that is captured in the Chinese yin-yang symbol ([) also known as the Tai Chi Tu.

I mention all of this because understanding when one is strongest and when one is weakest is an important awareness when seeking to succeed in any venture. Our various physical and mental periods of strength and weakness follow regular cycles. They are not random. We are usually smart enough to know that if we generally sleep at night that we will not usually be doing our best thinking at three in the morning. The interruption of a normal sleep pattern will affect our cognitive abilities. However, we do not commonly pay attention to our regular cyclic changes in awareness, alertness, physical strength, emotional power and other factors in body and mind. The following chart is a very basic one emphasizing some of the highs and lows of our various organs based on the Chinese understanding of normal daily patterns:

http://corespirit.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/humanbodyenergyclock.jpg

This highly simplified chart helps us to understand why exercising first thing in the morning tends to be more successful than trying to insert a workout into the end of our day. I am not condemning those who choose to put physical activity at the end of the day. In some cases, this is the only opportunity that they can afford. I am merely pointing out that out bodies are more naturally attuned to physical exertion in the morning rather than at night. Success is still possible but more difficult. Whenever possible, we should aim our activities to optimize our chances for success.

This same principle that hold true for physical activity also holds true for other activities in our lives. For example, our minds are usually sharpest and most active from 9AM to 11AM and from 3PM to 5PM. This somewhat explains why many school kids struggle with their earliest classes and those just after lunch. The Chinese are not the only people who have studied the daily waning and waxing of human abilities. The Hindu yogis have similar ‘clocks’. Likewise, scientists study circadian rhythms; here is such a chart for comparison:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Circadian_rhythm#/media/File:Biological_clock_human.svg

The similarities between the modern and the ancient viewpoints are quite striking. I think I have made my point here. Depending on what we are doing and what we want to achieve we would be wise to pay attention to the cyclic changes of our bodies and by extension our minds and our hearts. Wherever the possibility exists we should seek to undertake our actions when they are most likely to meet with success and when we will be able to perform them with the greatest ease. In the cases where we cannot time things optimally we can equally take measures to further improve our chances for success. For example, on infrequent occasions where late night thinking is required we can perhaps choose to have an afternoon nap, drink caffeine, employ bright white “full spectrum” lighting or other compensating actions. Whether it be optimal timing of an activity or compensating for weakness, it would be wise for us to pay attention to the rhythms of our lives and understand them better so that we do our best in planning and acting for success!

Anticipate Weakness

Anticipate Weakness

©2015 Scott D. Wilson,P.Eng.

 

No matter what noble goal we pursue there will come moments of weakness where will we be tempted to throw in the towel or to simply derail our progress by doing something counter-productive.  For the person trying to lose weight it will be that time late at night, fatigued, lonely and down. That will be when the refrigerator or the cookie jar will sing with its irresistible siren song.  For the new entrepreneur it can be around the time that the novelty wears off, enthusiasm peters out and their confidence begins to wane. Or perhaps the feeling of despair sets in when the first significant challenge rears its head and seems insurmountable.   In short, the urges to give in and give up are pretty well universal to all who set goals and set out to succeed.

 

The lesson is that everyone falls prey to moments of weakness so we should anticipate these moments and do our best to prepare for them.  When we set out we always envision ourselves motivated and energized from that point onward.  This is an unrealistic expectation of ourselves.  We need to be kinder to our future selves and help them prepare for the moments of weakness and temptation.  Under present conditions we need to empathize with those under the strain to conform and to take the path of least resistance.  What tools could we give them to help them succeed?  What information could help them to stay positive and motivated to continue?  It is best to ask these questions now when there is no pressure or urgency.

 

If we each had an enemy that we knew was going to attack us some time in the future where we are at our weakest then we would be crazy not to take precautions against them.  We might hire security, train in self-defence, purchase weapons, travel in groups for safety or some other protective measures.  We would certainly not ignore the future threat.  In this case we are actually being pursued by an extremely dangerous enemy and that enemy is ourselves.  We know that they will hit us when we are most vulnerable so it makes sense to prepare now while we are strong.

 

There is another way to understand this idea in concrete terms.  We do our best to maintain our vehicles.  Nonetheless, many of us keep emergency kits in the car so that the effect of unexpected breakdowns is minimized.  Likewise, it is prudent to have disaster kits in our homes for emergencies and first aid.  It would be unwise to start a long quest in the wilderness without a survival pack.  I am suggesting something similar here.  We need to prepare a kind of emergency kit for motivation and determination.  For example, our midnight snacker might pack a distraction in their kit.  They think of food while bored and lonely so the kit might be a game or book or movie or something that they would enjoy more than a snack.  Reserve this item specifically for emergencies so that it is a truly worthwhile distraction.

 

Whether dieting or starting a new business  or any self-improvement goal, the emergency kit will need to be personal and it will need to help keep us in the right direction.  There is no one pat answer that will help for everyone.  Our entrepreneur might write down a list of reasons why they want to pursue their business and keep it in their kit.  Another might list all their talents and assets that support their goal.  Still another might keep recommendations and commendations from various sources that affirm their objectives.  The point is to get creative.  Use pictures, videos, songs, audio, mementos, cash, a list of friends to call, special objects… anything that will shore you up and help you to stay the course when your moments of weakness hit.  The effectiveness of your emergency kit will be proportional to the effort that you put into it while preparing. It also goes somewhat without saying but remember that this is an emergency kit.  It is to be used as weapon of last resort. The more it is used the less effective it will become.  This device is to help you when you are most in need of it.

 

I should also mention that our emergency kit does not necessarily need to be physical.  Martial artists train in repetitive cycles call katas, taolu or forms.  It is this repetition that prepares them to act appropriately when encountering an enemy.  This training and preparation is done when no threats are present.  It allows the people to be prepared and confident when a real opponent strikes.  Since we are talking about mental and emotional battles with ourselves then the fight will be taking place in our mind so it is there where we can also make preparations.  Mottos, maxims, prayers and quotes that reverberate within us can also serve to bolster us when weakness hits.  Again, these are personal so each one of needs to find something that we can repeatedly bring to mind that will help our thoughts, our spirits and our hearts.

My point in this diatribe is to encourage you to anticipate the worst in yourself.  Do not hold unrealistic expectation of your abilities and motivation.  Humbly admit your weaknesses and failings.  We all suffer from self-doubt and loneliness at different times.  Nobody alive is free from temptation.  However, these darkest hours need not be our downfall if we anticipate and prepare for them.  Take the time today while you are in a good place and your goals are clear and certain.  Work and plan to help yourself to remain on course for your goals when the windy trials and tribulations of life seek to shipwreck you and blow you off course! 

The Language of Your Life

The Language of your Life

©2015 Scott D. Wilson

 

“Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it”  ― Christopher Morley

 

Depending on your view language is either mankind’s greatest invention or its greatest gift.  Language enables us to share and transmit ideas, feelings and experiences in creative ways.  We take it for granted as we use it daily, but language is one of our most powerful tools.  Language has been used to change countless lives and even to forge the events of history itself.  Language is the programming code for our minds.  The way we speak reveals a lot about our upbringing and our background.   Our speech also shows the inner workings of our mind and thoughts.

 

If you close your eyes and imagine then you can likely think of countless examples of speaking patterns that you have encountered throughout your life: 

 

• the clipped speech of a police officer who has pulled you over
• the colourful drawl and homespun words of a rural western American 
• the loud and vibrant language of a passionate evangelical preacher
• the rough profanity-laced dialogue of a hard-living miner
• the carefully measured words of a suit-and-tie executive speaking to the board
• the angry venom of a native New York cabbie who just got cut off by another driver.
• the gentle tones and soft language of a counsellor consoling a grieving spouse
• the serious and grave dialect of criminal judge handing down a severe sentence

 

My point is that words themselves and how they are delivered vary immensely and carry with them more than mere information.  In a sense, we paint a picture with our language.  We study the ancient cave drawings in the hope to understand prehistoric communications.  We know that our development of words literally took the place of those early cave paintings.

 

Yes, we use language to convey ideas, images, feeling and experience.  In essence, we use speech to share a piece of our lives or a moment of our living.  Ah, but allow me to expand the vocabulary of this discussion.  The deaf use words but they convey them through gestures and signs.  The blind read but they must use texture and form.  So communication is not limited to words on page or the oration from our mouths.  Of course we have all heard of body language but that is not really what I am talking about here.

 

I am talking about the very dialogue of our daily living.  Every day we get up and go about living our lives.  How we do this communicates to universe itself and to others.  The vocabulary of our actions speaks volumes to our character and our attitude.  We may quietly whisper our gratitude through the act of prayer and meditation.  We may loudly proclaim our anger and frustration through our surliness or sullen attitude.  We might chat our joy brightly through our beaming smile and happy demeanor.  Perhaps we speak slowly and deliberately with our careful behaviour and cautious nature.  Or perchance we might zip off the quick staccato of our nervousness.

 

What I am saying here is that our behaviour speaks as truly as our words.  Our lives are like that cave wall thousands of years ago.  We paint upon it our communications to others and to the world around us.  I am asking you, reader, to consider what kind of message you are sending with your life.  Is it a deliberate and positive message that others will want to read and understand?  Or possibly are you randomly scrawling on the walls of your lifetime?  Today, you have the chance to become aware of the messages that you have been sending.  Look back and try to read the words that you have been living.  Do they contain hope?  Love? Trust?  Fear?  Bitterness?  Despair?

 

Life is meant to be deliberately lived.  If we intend to succeed we need to look not only at what we are saying to others with our words but also what we are saying with our demeanor, our attitude, our dress, our deportment… our entire lives!  Make sure your whole message is worth hearing!

 

“In the end, we'll all become stories.”  ― Margaret Atwood

An Impoverished Mind

An Impoverished Mind

©Scott Wilson 2015

 

North America is by all measures a country of prosperity and abundance. Food is plentiful and inexpensive. Economical energy sources of all types abound. Our land is rife with natural resources. For centuries North America has been labelled "the Land of Opportunity." Modern living affords us more leisure time and more entertainments than any of our forefathers could have ever hoped to obtain. Indeed, compared with much of the rest of the world we are living amidst luxury, wealth and opulence.

 

Why then does it seem that most of us tend to think in terms of deficit? Our society is rife with individuals who feel that they do not have enough money, or possessions, or time. Rare is the man or woman who considers themself to be rich. Our attention is drawn towards that which seems to be missing instead of that which we have already received and currently possess. It would appear that our hearts and minds are truly impoverished. Advertisers profit from this thinking, pointing out how we need their products to genuinely fulfill us.

 

Perhaps we inherited this thinking from our parents and grandparents who suffered through the Great Depression. They were the first generation on this continent to experience a serious lack of abundance. Their fears seem to have given rise to the general angst and longing that pervades our present culture. As the speed and reach of our communications has become instant and global mankind has begun to sense its limitations. We wonder and worry that our lonely planet may not have the energy and resources to allow our continued prosperity.

 

I believe it would benefit us to question this pervasive mindset of poverty. By all reckoning this universe appears to be vast and infinite. There is no reason to believe that mankind cannot continue to advance and improve our use of the unending energy and materials that surround us. In addition to this physical view we would also benefit by questioning the relative importance of material wealth in our life journeys.

 

In my studies of successful people I have found various commonalities of outlook and thought.  One common factor that I have noticed about those whom we deem successful is that they tend to think in terms of abundance, not deficit.  They see opportunity everywhere, even in their failures!  Motivational writer and instructor Earl Nightingale described this abundant thinking best with these words “Don’t concern yourself with the money. Be of service. Build. Work. Dream. Create. Do this and you’ll find that there is no limit to the prosperity and abundance that will come to you.”  To those with a winning mindset, the world is rich with success; all they have to do is persevere to obtain it. Successful people live and act as is there is always enough for everyone and that they have but to claim their share.

 

The prosperous build growth upon growth, strength upon strength.  They see and understand weakness and loss but these are not their primary focus.  These positive people remain doggedly fixed on their objectives. As that old Frank Sinatra’s song goes, they have ‘high hopes.’  It is this outlook that we should seek for ourselves if we too wish to partake of similar successes in our own lives.

 

Look at your goals and objectives.  Are you lacking cash, time, resources, information, experience or anything else that you need to obtain what you envision?  Do not let these become anchors and barriers to you.  Look at what you *do* have and build upon it.  See the areas of success in your own life and amplify them.  Understand that the universe is filled with resources that can become yours to command if you allow yourself to see the very real opportunities that surround you.  If you truly seek to succeed then you need to lose your impoverished mind!

“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.” –Winston Churchill

"Some people are so poor, all they have is money." –Patrick Meagher

I Have Fat

I Have Fat
©2015 Scott D. Wilson, P.Eng.

I love language. It is just one way to communicate but it can be used to convey so much more than information. The words that we use and how we use them can reveal a lot about ourselves and our thought processes. Even punctuation can have a powerful effect… it can even save lives. There is a huge difference between “Let’s eat Bobby!” and “Let’s eat, Bobby!”

All kidding aside, we use words and language every single day but we rarely reflect on our language and understand how it influences us. Language affects our emotions, our thinking and even how we see and perceive the world around us. Words like Nazi, holocaust, pedophile, rape and 9-11 have powerful emotions attached to them; most people have significant feelings evoked when they hear these words used in speech or see them written.

How words and language affect out thinking and view of the world is more subtle by nonetheless real. I am privileged to be fluent in two languages: English and French. I can tell you that when I am speaking in French I am also thinking in French. Translating on the fly from English to French is too slow; this only happens when one is still in the early stages of learning a language. I explain this because I can tell you that French thinking is not the same as English thinking.

Here is a simple example that I like. In French, many of the states of being are possessive verbs instead of identifying verbs. In French, I have cold and I have hunger so one does not identify oneself as being cold or hungry but rather having these states. In English we say “I miss you.” This statement speaks about one’s own thoughts and emotions towards the absent party. In French we say “You are missing from me.” This phrasing evokes a much deeper connection to the other person; it is a statement of incompleteness.

Some might argue that this is all mere semantics but I must firmly disagree.  The statement “I am…” is a very strong statement of being and identification.  Possession is not mentally the same.  I can easily have or get something and then give it away or lose it.  It is much harder to change who we are or an identity.  When someone states “I am fat,” how does this person stop being fat?  How and when can the person change state from fatness to non-fatness?  In English we often identify ourselves with a transient state of being.  No wonder so many of us struggle with poor self-esteem and self-image.

I suggest a revolution of language.  Reimagine your use of words:

• I am not fat.  I have fat.
• I am not angry.  I have anger.
• I am not depressed.  I have depression.
• I am not afraid.  I have fear.

If you have something undesirable then you can work to eliminate it or reduce it.  Free yourself from identifying with your detrimental physical and emotional states.  Something as simple as changing your language can alter your thinking and help you to move from victim to victor!  Stop being a casualty to these words.  You have the power to change these things.  They do not define you and who you are.  Change you words.  Change your mind.  Change your life. And yes, even begin to change this world!

Filled with "I Can"

Filled with “I Can”

©2015 Scott D. Wilson, P.Eng.

This world we live in is marvelous and inspiring but it is also draining. Day to day labour is frequently both physically and mentally taxing. This life rarely offers back many ‘atta-boys’ for the efforts that we put into it. This simple reality is seems immutable and eternal. So how then do we continue to press on and remain focused on goals that better us and our surroundings? What keeps us fixed on our target?

Success is about attaining sought after objectives. Success is about achieving. Part of what stops us in our quests it the ‘I can’ts.’ We get stuck focusing on our limitations. We fail to see what we can do because we are looking at what we cannot do. This in itself is a tragedy of our culture and our upbringing.

When we bring children into the world they perceive it as a place filled with infinite possibilities, and rightly so. They are filled with ‘I cans.’ It is one of our jobs as parents and as a society to expose our children to as many experiences as we can that will test their potential and expand their horizons. We are to encourage them in their many pursuits and in interests as much as we are able. In short, we need to let them play with their possible ‘cans’ and allow them to discover their potential. But alas, this is often not the case. All too soon children are faced with an enormous number of ‘can’ts’ – some real but many others virtual or imposed.

Certainly physical age and immaturity place limitations on a child’s abilities. Likewise economic status and geographic considerations also curtail certain possibilities. However, those are not the boundaries that I am speaking about. It is the more subtle ‘can’ts’ that drain us and prevent us from pursuing dreams and exploring possibilities. We have all heard them…

• You can’t make money at that.
• Nobody has done that before.
• I don’t think that can be done.
• I doubt that *you* can change that.
• It has always been that way.
• No one really needs that.
• Only a *lucky* few can do that.
• It’s too hard.
• That’s impossible.
• It’s ok, nobody does that any way.

We whisper these worldly lies primarily with the aim of sparing the child the pain of failure and disappointment. We do not want them to suffer. We are focused on their pragmatic material welfare. We want them to prosper in the material world because the material world is where we exist. We don’t want them to put their economic lives at risk. We want them to take the safe path. And there is nothing wrong with that. The safe paths lead to relatively nice jobs and decent lives. They serve the majority of mankind quite well.

However, are these safe paths the ones that will lead to humanity’s success? Is it fair to teach our offspring to be risk averse? A safety net is a good thing, but it would be a boring circus if we saw all the performers lounging in it. We encourage people to risk love because we intuitively know the stagnant consequence of locking our hearts away and never feeling the pain of a failed love. Yet we fill ourselves and those around us with ‘can’ts’ instead of ‘cans’ because we cannot fathom the consequences. On the whole, we do not encourage people to aim high. Soon the ‘you can’ts’ of others become our own internal ‘I can’ts.’

Today, I want to change that. Look inward. What dreams have you suppressed because of ‘can’ts’ that came from both yourself and others? For a moment suspend your disbelief in yourself. Do not look at what you perceive to be your inabilities. Look towards your ‘I cans.’ Start filling yourself up with them. Here are a few to start:

• You can choose a different way.
• You can risk.
• You can choose to change.
• You can let go of the past.
• You can stop.
• You can begin.
• You can create.
• You can learn.
• You can forgive.
• You can accept yourself.
• You can dream.
• You can dance.
• You can love.

Keep going. If you are honest you will realize that you are full of potential ‘I cans.’ There are far more ‘cans’ than ‘can’ts’ within us but we need to see them and we need to realize them. Today is your day to start. Take the time to start listing your ‘I cans’ and come to see the possible paths before you that you never considered – and start acting on them! As a bonus, begin helping others to find their ‘I cans’ and in the process you will learn some new ones about yourself!

Get a perspective!

Get a perspective!

© 2015 Scott Wilson

 

"Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy in long-shot." – Charlie Chaplin

 

As we navigate this thing called life we will routinely encounter both joys and sorrows. Goals will be thwarted.  Dreams will meet with difficulties.  Steps in the correct direction towards self-improvement will seem to stall and fail.  How we choose to deal with these events will literally make the difference between genuine success and failure.

 

If these events were simply logical matters we would all naturally resolve them in a dispassionate way.   Unfortunately, despite our beliefs to the contrary, we are not truly driven by rational thinking.  We are emotional creatures and emotions tend to drive thinking and trump our best intentions.  Emotions are the elements that turn easy tasks arduous and dreary work into joy.  When we simply try to mentally suppress our emotions we inevitably cause them to build in intensity until they overcome our control.  So we need to understand what factors affect our emotions.

 

One of the most powerful influences on our emotions is our perspective.  Fortunately, perspective is also a variable that we can greatly influence with our rationale minds.  Our minds can gain a measure of control over our emotions if we are willing to understand how our emotions are affected by our perceptions of the things and events around us.

 

To explain the power of perception and emotions allow me to use the extreme illustration of a phobia.  Arachnophobia is the extreme fear of spiders.  I have seen grown men and women jumping up on chairs and leaping great distances to evade the approach of a harmless house spider.  This tiny delicate creature that could easily be smashed by even the smallest toddler has the power to hurl an over 150 pound human being across a room.  Amazing.

 

Why does this happen?  Because the people affected by the phobia perceive the spider as a far greater threat than it is in reality.  Phobias are usually overcome by gradually changing the person’s perspective towards the object of their fear.  By repeated exposure the individuals come to realize that the objects of their fear are not truly threatening to them.  For the arachnophobic people, they come to see spiders for the delicate and benign creatures that they are.

 

This understanding can help us with our own difficulties.  I often see people developing a great deal of stress about what someone said or did to them or about some personal failure.  We tend to internalize these external stressors and then exaggerate their implications.  A person who is trying to lose weight succumbs to temptation and overeats on a weekend and then beats themselves up for the rest of the week.  Or worse, they contemplate quitting their efforts to improve their health.  We do this because we have lost perspective on parts of our lives and enable our emotions to overcome us.

 

I have a simple solution for such events.  I close my eyes and take a deep breath.  When I let out the breath slowly I try to imagine how I will perceive this difficulty tomorrow.  I then imagine how this problem will look in a week.  From there I move to a month and then a year.  Beyond that I seek to imagine the trouble from 5 and 10 years away.  Lastly, I imagine this matter from the perspective of my deathbed.  When I return from my time-travelling I ask myself “How was it?”  Based on my answers at the various times I respond accordingly.

 

Obviously I want to extend significant effort to those things that will have an impact on me when I am in my final moments.  However, I rarely find that any of my troubles seem to look all that bad beyond a day or a week.  What happened to the emotions and the trauma of the event that I am dealing with?  They are now tempered by the proper perspective of the situation.  If something will be forgettable or insignificant in less than a year then why would we want to give it so much of our hearts and our minds today?

 

This is only one exercise.  My point is that we can use our imagination and our minds to change our perspective on virtually anything from weight loss to a difficult spouse or from a troubled child to a bad job situation.  Perspective will not absolve us of the need to take action but it will help to relieve us of much of the fear and anger that might cloud our best response.

So if something is troubling you today then take a few quiet moments to honestly and creatively look at your problem from some new and different perspectives. You could discover that it is not nearly as bad as you thought or you might even find some solutions that you never considered before!