From Action to Self-Esteem

●♥● From Action to Self-Esteem ●♥●

“The only way to get positive feelings about yourself is to take positive actions.
Man does not live as he thinks, he thinks as he lives.”—Vaughan Quinn

We often feel crappy about ourselves. We are our own worst critics. This is an unfortunately natural part of human nature. HOWEVER, we do not need to be a victim in this matter! There is hope and a treatment: action.

Let those last words sink and think in. Man does not live as he thinks, he thinks as he lives. This is a profound truth about ourselves. Our thoughts and out thinking processes are moulded by the way we choose to live our lives. Every action that we take teaches us about ourselves and our reality. We react to our actions and the results. In so doing we generate both thoughts *and* emotions!

You want to hack your emotions? You want to *feel* better? Then take positive actions! Feeling good is not purely a matter of mind over emotions. If it were then there would be a lot mot happy and contented people. Our point of view does play a part; however, emotions respond to action! One of the best ways to feel better about yourself, about who you are, is to go out and do something positive.

Take action to make you own life better! Take action to make someone else’s life better! Take action to make this universe a bit better! You cannot act positively and constructively without it impacting and improving your psyche. There is a time and a place for mantras and positive affirmations, but don’t just let them be words. Today, right now, whether you feel like it or not, make some positive actions. I guarantee that if you make the effort to do something good that it will pay off. Your self-esteem will rise through affirmative behaviour!

ⓒ2018 Scott D. Wilson

To Be Continued

To Be Continued

“Don't think of it as starting over.

Think of it as picking up where you left off.”

–Scott Wilson

Starting over sounds difficult.  Starting over feels like being back at square zero, as if you never began the journey in the first place.  Sometimes that may feel good because one leaves all one’s mistakes behind and starts fresh.  However, it often it comes with the heavy emotions of past failures and tremendous effort to regain momentum.

Let’s be fair.  You are not truly staring over again.  Time has passed.  You are a different person now than you were then.  You have learned and hopefully you are wiser and you have a new and better perspective.  Don’t negatively judge you past self.  They did not have the same life experience that you now have.  They were younger and possibly more naïve and less aware.  Ideally, we are all using our past to better understand and deal with the present.  Unless we choose to be foolish we should be somewhat better at living life today than we were in the past.

A better mental model would be to look at your goal as a project that you put away on a shelf for a while.  It is right there where you left it.  It may have gathered dust.  It may even have suffered some environmental damage from neglect.  That just means that you need clean it off, make a few repairs and pick up where you left off.  That’s a far cry from throwing away your passed efforts and starting from scratch.

Look honestly at your prior efforts.  Who was that person?  What stresses and responsibilities did they bear?  What made him or her neglect their dreams and desires?  How did they approach the goal and what made them stop?  Imagine if they had left you a journal with all their struggles, progress and failures.  What could you learn from it? What can he or she teach you today as you pick up from where they left off?  How can you build upon the foundation of their efforts, both successful and unsuccessful?

You are not starting again.  You have so much more now than you had then.   Yes, the circumstances may have changed but so have you!  You are wiser today.  Choose to see that wisdom and experience and apply it to you old goals.  Don’t throw away anything from your unsuccessful attempts because they can give you keys to being successful hear and now.  When you stopped last time it was NOT a failure; it was a resting pause in your plans.  Today is simply a continuation of your quest.  Just like when sleep tonight, it does not mean that we start everything over again tomorrow.  The same is true here.  Wake up anew.  Brush the sleep from your eyes.  Blow the dust off your goals and pick up from where you left off. 

Cheers!

©2018 Scott D. Wilson

Dieting? You really have nothing to lose!

Dieting? You Really Have Nothing to Lose

Think you need to lose 10, 20, 50, 100 or more pounds?

NOPE, technically you don’t need to lose anything.

 

What you need to do is change the lifestyle that is making you heavier into a lifestyle that is getting you fitter.

 

Once that lifestyle is in place the weight will eventually take care of itself.

 

The weight itself is not the problem.

 

It is simply a symptom of bad living.

 

The problem is the lifestyle of inactivity and overindulgence.

 

If you were a doctor and every day a patient came in with a new laceration that you had to sew up, would you say they had a problem with bleeding or would you be concerned about the behaviour that is getting them stabbed?

 

A good doctor would not just keep putting in stiches.

 

That would be irresponsible.

 

Recognize that everything that you have done up to now has made your body what it is presently.

 

Recognize that much of your past behaviour has been detrimental to your well-being.

 

Recognize that you NEED to change in order to get healthy and stay healthy.

 

Recognize that change is hard and it will feel a bit like dying.

 

Nonetheless, commit to making changes TODAY.

 

Make *small* changes, bit by bit, slowly.

 

Keep making changes and repeating them until they become new and better habits.

 

It may seem tedious.

 

It may seem to take forever.

 

Keep going.

 

You are changing, and that takes time.

 

Focus on the positive changes that you make.

 

Don’t focus on the scale and a meaningless number.

 

Focus on the improvements that you are making.

 

Focus on the health that you are regaining.

 

Focus on feeling, acting and becoming better.

 

Keep that focus and keep going!

 

The day will come when you look back and go “Wow! I made it!”

 

Until then, keep building a better you!!!!!

 

Cheers and all the best!

 

©2018 S.D. Wilson

The Final Frontier

The Final Frontier

“The human mind is the last great unexplored continent on earth. It contains riches beyond our wildest dreams. It will return anything we want to plant.”
–Earl Nightingale (The Strangest Secret)

The curious apes on this terrestrial ball hurtling through the cosmos press ever onward spending billions of dollars sending probes and robots off into outer space where no man has gone before. Meanwhile, we largely ignore the seemingly infinite frontiers of our hearts and minds. Don’t get me wrong. I fully understand the need to explore the external reality in which we live in order to better understand it and interact with it. However, we do not likewise encourage the human race to explore the mysteries deep within us.

Daily we interact with and manipulate the outside world and our surroundings while we essentially disregard our inner workings. We believe that mastering the external will bring us happiness and contentment. We strive for security, wealth, power, notoriety, health and other boons with the aim of attaining joy and peace. Our continuous creed becomes “If I can just…” Then we can’t understand how our victories do not seem to bring any lasting satisfaction. We puzzle at how our emotions do not line up with goals but instead seem to sabotage our efforts at every turn. We likewise ponder why we fail to impose order on our surroundings when we never bother to bring the emotions and thoughts of our inner worlds into order.

Scientists carefully map and chart the laws and principles that govern material existence yet they desperately avoid setting foot in the vast frontier of the internal being, relegating it to the mystics and the sages. Granted, some brave psychologists have ventured in but most stop at the pragmatic level in regards to illness or aptitude. In the physical world we equip people with the rules and tools for social interaction and physical safety: look both ways before crossing the street, always say please and thank you and follow the golden rule. Yet there is precious little guidance for travelling within the vast and lonely expanses of our own souls. Some of history’s greatest tragedies appear to be those who may have gotten lost within themselves and failed to find a way back home.

Our emotions and thoughts form a treacherous and dangerous landscape full of dark corners and hidden traps. Truth and lies intermix along with the selfish and selfless. Inside we are fallen creatures trapped between the glories of heaven and the torments of hell. It is no wonder that we often portray inner conflict as a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other. The common person daily contends alone with their noble and the despicable selves. Society teaches us to keep out inner and outer worlds separate. We are encouraged to keep our hearts and minds private and hidden. Our personal demons are something shameful that we must tackle alone. Meanwhile, every day we must successfully walk both in the outer world and within our inner space. As tricky as it may be, we need to survive perils of both lands.

All the wisdom literature that I have encountered is clear about this: we must successfully manage our interior life if we truly want to attain meaningful success our visible life. We cannot do this if we fail to harmonize and integrate our inner land with our outer one. Few and rare are those who are able to do this task alone. Societies like Alcoholics Anonymous have demonstrated the incredible power of sharing our inner torment with others. In safe situations with others we can bravely begin to explore, map and tame our internal frontiers. The darkness gradually loses its power in the light of love and acceptance.

Here is the truly amazing thing, as we bravely uncover and deal with our own shadows we often discover that they are masking the best and brightest parts of ourselves. When we acknowledge the presence of the devils, a host of angels is often revealed. There will be a mix of sobering revelations and joyful surprises. Many uncover their greatest strengths through struggles with their greatest weakness. This is where Earl Nightingale was going with the statement that I quoted. Our minds and hearts contain hidden riches worth finding amidst the dangers.

I can guarantee that if you dare to brave the journey inward that you will discover one of the greatest of life’s treasures: your authentic self. This won’t be the person that your parents and family told you that you are. It won’t be there person that you think you have to be for your friends and society. It won’t even be the person that you think you are. It will be genuinely you, and you will be remarkable. As you cut away the inner lies and false beliefs you will free a newer and truer self.

As you come to understand and accept who you really are then you will begin to learn your real needs and intrinsic motivations. In meeting those needs you will experience less internal strife and conflict; your inner self will begin to support you and your goals. The most remarkable thing is that you will never uncover the end of yourself. Each and every day can yield new amazing discoveries. You will never declare that you completely know and have conquered yourself. This is the real final frontier and its greatest riches.

So when your world seems in disarray it is wise to take the time to pause and look away from the external problems. Breathe easy and steal your heart and mind to look inward to see the very sources of chaos within yourself. Find those you can trust to help you with what you find there. Let go of shame; we all hold some darkness within. Discover your best amongst your worst. Uncover the real you. As you improve your inner life you will find your outer one is equally improved. When you harmonize your inner and the outer spaces you will begin to reap the great rewards of your final frontier.

“As above, so below, as within, so without …”
― Hermes Trismegistus



©2018 Scott D. Wilson

Einstein’s Mirror

●♥● Einstein’s Mirror ●♥●

E=mc², Einstein’s amazing realization was the direct relationship between matter and energy. This revelation gave us nuclear power and atomic weapons. The human race achieved the ability to directly convert physical substance into energy. However, technically mankind has been doing the converse and converting energy into physical materials since the dawn of time.

Go home. Look around you. You will be surrounded by material possessions, friends and family. To obtain these things took your personal time and energy. Living requires energy. Each of us will live an allotted time on this planet. How we live that time is essentially how we will spend our energy. Power is simply energy that has been put to work. We use our power earning a living, preparing and consuming food, self-care, maintaining a home, raising a family, and socially interacting. When it comes to labour time truly is money and money convers to material goods and services. The large screen TV in your home cost you precious hours of your existence at work. Your spouse and children require a good deal of care and attention to obtain and maintain. They too represent a portion of your life energy converted into flesh and blood relationships.

In this sense, every physical thing and person in our lives is actually a reflection of ourselves. We traded a piece of our existence to bring these things into our environment or our possession. E=mc², you converted your life essence into these physical entities. The world that you have built around is mirror of who you are. As you gaze upon your possessions, your friends, acquaintances and immediate family you are actually looking upon various aspects of yourself. For better or worse they are the embodiment of your efforts to spend your life wisely.

It is personally sobering to stare into Einstein’s Mirror of relativity. Certainly, my reflective sphere overlaps that of others, like those of my wife and children. Some of my possession and relations ships are the results of the spending of other people’s lifeblood and thus I may be enriched or impoverished by them. For example, the society and infrastructure of North America has been handed to us through the conversion of other people’s lifeblood.

I may not be able to take responsibility for everything in my life but I can nonetheless truly realize that I hold the majority of the responsibility for the building of my own personal world with my conversion of my own time and energy in to physical reality. The mirror of E=mc² strips us of many of our illusions and excuses. When the living cost of our possessions and our relationships is put in that perspective it definitely makes one pause to ponder the value that we gave or failed to give them. There is value in taking a look at our own personal world today with all its possession and relationships and consider what it can teach us about who we truly are and what we actually value. With eyes aware look upon your friends, your family, your phone, your bed and truly see yourself converted and reflected there.

ⓒ2018 Scott Wilson

Are you alive?

●♥● Are you alive? ●♥●

“It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live.”     –Marcus Aurelius

The unknown aspect of death will always elicit apprehension.  However, death is a natural event that we all must eventually undergo.  We all travel a journey from the womb to the tomb.  This does not necessarily mean that we are in a perpetual process of dying.  Life is not a video game where we start with a green life bar full of health and end the game when it turns red and reaches zero.  There are some who leave this world more vibrant and alive than the day that they were born.  There is a distinct difference between actively living and passively dying.

I am less concerned with my eventual death than I am with failing to actually live while I travel my days on this celestial ball.  It concerns me when days blend one into another in a forgettable blur.  That is not living, nor does it demonstrate an appreciation for time and life itself.  Life expects us to be fully present in our lives and ready to participate. Unfortunately, we are usually exhausted, stressed and overcome by routine existence.  Boredom, anxiety and monotony are constant companions urging us to stay distracted and disengaged.  We use entertainment, intoxication and other tools to escape what we see as the doldrums of much of our life.

I understand this poor behavior and unwise thinking all too well.  Modern society is toxic to real living in ways that go well beyond the purely physical.  The Dalai Lama captured this so well as he once explained to an interviewer:

“Man. Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived.” –Dalai Lama

What a terrible loss it is to live this way and yet so many of us follow this same path.  Perhaps we would all avoid such pathways if we saw life itself from a different perspective.  We have amazing telescopes and devices that peer across this vast expanding universe.  Despite our phenomenal efforts, we have never conclusively discovered any other biological life outside of this amazing sphere hurtling through the cosmos.  There is a distinct possibility that science’s greatest fear, that we might actually be alone in the heavens, is true.  In any event, life is exceedingly rare, far rarer than gold, platinum or diamonds.  That makes it unfathomably valuable and therefore it should never be considered humdrum nor taken for granted.  We need to hold onto this awareness as if our lives depend upon it, because they actually do.

Many folks fail to see the value of life until the ticking down of their last days grows too loud in their ears to ignore.  Then they desperately seek to wind up the clock a little more or to pack those last days with a lifetime that they missed.  This is understandable but tragically unnecessary.  We can appreciate and fill our days with living now.  The best does not have to lie in distant younger days, the best can be now and ahead.  Finding and achieving fulfillment is your responsibility and your birthright.  Learn to live and be genuinely you in the here and now, for there is no better time and no one else to do it for you.   At the end of your days how would you like to encounter death? Would you rather meet him desperately begging for more time or would you instead greet him with a broad grin, hand outstretched saying, “Have I got a story for you!”

“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Wow! What a Ride!” ―Hunter S. Thompson

©2018 S.D. Wilson

Simple Patient Compassion

●♥● Simple Patient Compassion ●♥●

“Simplicity, patience, compassion.
These three are your greatest treasures.
Simple in actions and thoughts, you return to the source of being.
Patient with both friends and enemies,
you accord with the way things are.
Compassionate toward yourself,
you reconcile all beings in the world.”
― Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

According to legend, when the venerable sage Lao Tsu was leaving China a guard at the Great Wall recognized him demanded that he leave behind a record of all his wisdom before he left.  The learned elder then sat and wrote the Tao Te Ching.  After a lifetime of learning this wise man highly valued three things:  simplicity, patience and compassion; these were his keys for successful living.  Personally, I have seen this same truth resonating across the wisdom of many cultures including the teachings of the Buddhavacana, Tanakh, Bible, Bhagavad Gita and Gitche Manitou.  The Tao Te Ching has stood the test of time and stands today as a globally recognized source for understanding.  It follows that our lives and goals can benefit from consideration of this sensible advice.

Simplicity, we now live in a complicated and intricate world.  Simple letters and writing have been replaced with e-mail, texts, blogs and more.   Simple face to face conversations have been replaced by highly technological phone and video calls.  Simple definitions of relationships, marriage and family have been replaced with increasingly complex and elaborate views.  Simple safe, naïve and innocent childhood is being assaulted by various social and political opinions and fears.  It is safe to say that nothing is simple today.

Yet mankind is born, lives and dies – a cycle unchanged for thousands of years.  This simple fact remains.  What we do between cradle and grave defines our existence.    For all our complicated toys, entertainment and gadgets we still simply need food, shelter, love, acceptance and meaning.  If we can recognize our simple nature and pay attention to our basic needs then perchance we might better handle our more sophisticated matters.  Simplicity understands and feeds our bodies, minds, hearts and souls.  We merely need to take the time to break down the priorities in our lives and see where they fit physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.

Simple in actions and thoughts, you return to the source of being.  Simplifying our lives brings us back to the essence of life itself.

We are advised to exercise patience with friend and foe alike.  In so doing we refrain from struggling against what is and instead harmonize with existence.  We accept the things that change which we would otherwise seek to keep static.  We also accept the unchangeable permanence of other realities like the gravity, time, space and aging.

Patience, in a world filled with ticking clocks patience is a precious rarity.  Time is always running out.  We rush through childhood towards adulthood.  We rush through education towards careers.  We rush through careers towards raises and advancement.  We crave a fast pace, seeking to stuff as much into every second as possible.  We have precious little time to waste… and yet we fill our vacant hours with trivial pursuits and entertainment.  If we slow down then we risk the realization that we are going nowhere fast and turning our days into a forgettable blur.  Ironically, the patience we lack would actually serve to slow down the tyrannical passage of time. 

Lastly, the sage mentions compassion, not for others but towards yourself.  Compassion is not pity.  It is the understanding of misfortune and suffering.  If we can master true compassion for ourselves then the text promises that we reconcile all beings.  To reconcile people is to restore harmony between them.  If we learn how to exercise genuine empathy towards ourselves then we will learn to live in peace with our very being.  To be compassionate is to accept ourselves as we are, a mix of both flaws and qualities together.   Real compassion acknowledges and understands our best and our worst and gracefully embraces them together.

It is evident that we humans crave understanding and acceptance.  The psychologist Abraham Maslow used the term ‘love and belonging’ to describe this fundamental need.  We all yearn for acceptance from other people: our parents, our family, our peers and our community.    This need is so strong that some twisted souls have committed hideous acts of violence when they felt utterly rejected by life and those around them.  Oddly, we actually need to start by truly accepting ourselves, for only then will be able to offer that same compassionate understanding to others.  In contrast, today’s world seems quite harsh and judgemental.  We are taught to self-criticize and  to berate ourselves in the belief that we will whip ourselves into shape.  Instead, we merely generate self-loathing and the disbelief in ourselves. 

Simplicity.  Patience.  Compassion.  Declutter you heart, mind and spirit.  Learn and exercise patience with all things.  Understand the heart of compassion towards yourself and others.  These are the three greatest treasures that we can cultivate within ourselves.

©2018 Scott D. Wilson