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Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts

Thursday, 9 August 2018

You Are Success – Part II


You Are Success – Part II

“About 90% of the things in your life are right. Make sure you don’t overlook the 90% that’s right because you’re focusing on the 10% that’s not.” – Dale Carnegie

It is so easy to create a negative mindset.  News headlines loudly exclaim stories of war, famine, death, plagues and all kinds of tragedies.  The fact is that the dismal and disastrous sell.  Shining a spotlight on these events leads many to assume that the world is badly off and getting worse.  This flies in the face of the data indicating that worldwide there is less hunger, disease, conflict and death than ever before.  Life expectancy across the globe has risen to 72 years of age, the highest ever, an increase of 5.5 years in a little over a decade.

Yes, this world will always have calamities and disasters, but despite the fact that there is stuff going wrong there is a heck of a lot going right every minute of every day.  Paying inordinate attention to the negatives tends to blind us to the good and positive that exist.  I am not belittling your woes or your difficulties, nor am I saying that the world could not do with some improvement.  I am merely asking that we remember the things that are going well.  It is important to remember the progress that we have made.  Barely 150 years ago, slavery was widely accepted and rights of women and children were similarly dismal.  The bygone days were not as sunny as many paint them to be today.  By all measures, human rights have been successfully improved up to the present and they continue to break new ground in various regions.

On a more personal level, I’d like to speak to those who think of themselves or their efforts as failure. Your plans may not be going as you expect them.  Your life may seem off track.   Everything may seem to be going wrong.  If that is how you feel then you would be wise to stop and take measure of your assets.  Are you able-bodied?  Do you have friends or family that care for you?  Is your sanity intact?  Can you still see or hear?  Do you have a safe home?  Do you enjoy personal freedoms?  These are not small matters.  Many lack these things and suffer greatly.  Do not take them for granted!

No, you are not a failure.  Failures are events that occur and then pass into history.  They do not define anyone or anything.  Take a candid and impartial look at your life.  No matter who you are you still have a lot going right for you.  Don’t ignore that truth.  The words of Dale Carnegie are correct.  Ninety percent of your life is successful.  You are a success.  Don’t lose that perspective while tackling the small bit that is going wrong.  Start taking inventory of that successful ninety percent and confidently learn to put it to work improving that troublesome ten percent!

©2018 Scott D. Wilson

You Are Success


You are ‘Success’


Simple Definition of ‘success’ (from Merriam-webster.com)
     1 :  the fact of getting or achieving the correct or desired result
     2 :  the correct or desired result of an attempt
    3 :  someone or something that is successful : a person or thing that succeeds
Every day…
You successfully take up to 23,040 breaths.
Your heart effectively beats about 103,000 times.
Your autonomic systems process and balance thousands of chemicals required for life.
You communicate with others speaking almost 5,000 words.
You make about 35,000 decisions… some better than others but you will make them.
And so much more.
You are walking, talking, thinking miracle.
The fact that you are here reading these words is a testament to your human success.
The fact of your success is not debatable but your realization of this fact may be so.
Failure is an event, not a person.
You literally embody success.
Where there is life there is success!
How can you even consider thinking in terms of failure?
Acknowledge and harmonize with your existing success story.
Life will be what it is.
Some days will feel more successful than others.
Time and space will be uncomfortable and difficult at times.
It may even imperil your existence.
But until that last breath leaves…
Until that last heartbeat…
You remain successful.
Know it.
Believe it.
Live it.

©2016 Scott D. Wilson

Friday, 18 May 2018

Are you alive?

●♥● Are you alive? ●♥●

“It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live.”     –Marcus Aurelius
The unknown aspect of death will always elicit apprehension.  However, death is a natural event that we all must eventually undergo.  We all travel a journey from the womb to the tomb.  This does not necessarily mean that we are in a perpetual process of dying.  Life is not a video game where we start with a green life bar full of health and end the game when it turns red and reaches zero.  There are some who leave this world more vibrant and alive than the day that they were born.  There is a distinct difference between actively living and passively dying.

I am less concerned with my eventual death than I am with failing to actually live while I travel my days on this celestial ball.  It concerns me when days blend one into another in a forgettable blur.  That is not living, nor does it demonstrate an appreciation for time and life itself.  Life expects us to be fully present in our lives and ready to participate. Unfortunately, we are usually exhausted, stressed and overcome by routine existence.  Boredom, anxiety and monotony are constant companions urging us to stay distracted and disengaged.  We use entertainment, intoxication and other tools to escape what we see as the doldrums of much of our life.

I understand this poor behavior and unwise thinking all too well.  Modern society is toxic to real living in ways that go well beyond the purely physical.  The Dalai Lama captured this so well as he once explained to an interviewer:

“Man. Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived.” –Dalai Lama

What a terrible loss it is to live this way and yet so many of us follow this same path.  Perhaps we would all avoid such pathways if we saw life itself from a different perspective.  We have amazing telescopes and devices that peer across this vast expanding universe.  Despite our phenomenal efforts, we have never conclusively discovered any other biological life outside of this amazing sphere hurtling through the cosmos.  There is a distinct possibility that science’s greatest fear, that we might actually be alone in the heavens, is true.  In any event, life is exceedingly rare, far rarer than gold, platinum or diamonds.  That makes it unfathomably valuable and therefore it should never be considered humdrum nor taken for granted.  We need to hold onto this awareness as if our lives depend upon it, because they actually do.

Many folks fail to see the value of life until the ticking down of their last days grows too loud in their ears to ignore.  Then they desperately seek to wind up the clock a little more or to pack those last days with a lifetime that they missed.  This is understandable but tragically unnecessary.  We can appreciate and fill our days with living now.  The best does not have to lie in distant younger days, the best can be now and ahead.  Finding and achieving fulfillment is your responsibility and your birthright.  Learn to live and be genuinely you in the here and now, for there is no better time and no one else to do it for you.   At the end of your days how would you like to encounter death? Would you rather meet him desperately begging for more time or would you instead greet him with a broad grin, hand outstretched saying, “Have I got a story for you!”

“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Wow! What a Ride!” ―Hunter S. Thompson

©2018 S.D. Wilson

Friday, 19 January 2018

Await or Create

Await or Create


“My dictionary defines opportunityas a set of circumstancesthat makes it possible to do something.The world has conditioned us to wait for opportunity,have the good sense to spot itand hope to strike at the appropriate time.But if opportunity is just a set of circumstances,why are we waiting around for the stars to align?Rather than waiting and pouncingwith a high degree of failure,you might as well go aheadand create a set of circumstances on your own.If you make the opportunity,you will be first in position to take advantage of it.We don’t have to wait for it.We create it.”–Biz Stone

Without your participation, in the next few minutes, your heart will continue to beat, you will continue to breathe and your existence will proceed.  This is what happens to us in this thing we call life. In this manner, we are similar to the animals who live from moment to moment with no greater aspirations. Yet life is so much more than just what happens to us!

Sure we can go through life reacting to all that comes our way.  In fact, this is what the vast majority of people do, day in and day out.  There is nothing shameful or wrong with this way of living.  If you are content doing what everyone else is doing and more or less getting what they are getting then put yourself in neutral and coast along.  This is the easiest and most efficient way to live within our culture.  The greatest personal energy expenditures will only occur if dangerous or unwanted situations occur.   

However, you may have noticed that this is not the manner by which those who are succeeding choose to live.  They do not wait for life to deliver itself to them.  They pursue what they want and make it happen.  Whether it be health, wealth, fame, skill, power or something else they do not sit passively waiting for it.  They plan carefully and work diligently to create the circumstances that will foster what they wish to achieve.  If you want to be exceptional, that is you wish to be the exception rather than the rule, then you too will need to stop being passive.

I cited Biz Stone in the quote above because it highlighted the fact that the “world has conditioned us to wait for opportunity.”  We sit and hope for the right circumstance to come to us.  We even actively prepare for these situations so that we do not miss them when they appear.  All of that is good. However, it is all passive at its core.  We bemoan when the stars do not align and we curse that others seem to have all the ‘luck.’  Meanwhile, we have missed countless chances to create our own opportunities. I know of no one who has not been guilty of this mindset, myself included.   

A hunter can train to shoot well and buy all the best gear.  They could also learn all the habits and ways of the creatures that they wish to hunt.  Then our hunter might go to the proper environment and the appropriate time and sit in a random promising spot and hope to see their prey walk by.  This will sometimes result in a successful expedition.  The more successful hunters learn various ways to lure their prey towards them.  They use calls and bait to entice the creatures.  They carefully check their hunting grounds for signs of their prey’s activity.  They’ll work hard to understand their target and to encounter it.  The will use their time and energy wisely and will not rely on simple chance and their results will show it.

An aspiring actor who hopes to be discovered would be considered foolish if they did not actively pursue every possible chance to showcase themselves.  Yes, they could take acting lessons and practice with various groups and guilds, but all that would be in vain if they did not actively work to promote their name and reputation in the entertainment industry.  Sure they might take roles hoping to get noticed by someone influential who might happen to attend a performance.  However, they could equally well invite influential people to their shows and provide them tickets.  They could take some well calculated risks to create the circumstances that they desire.

The difference between passive and active may seem subtle but it is significant.  Passive prays, waits and watches.  Active does this and then also plans, creates, pursues, entices, provokes and works.  Passive looks for chances.  Active intentionally takes risks.  Passive hopes.  Active intends and does.  Passive awaits inspiration.  Active gains inspiration through activity.  Passive relies on motivation.  Active relies on discipline and routine. This holds true for all of and all our dreams and ambitions.  We can wait for the universe to arbitrarily deliver opportunities to us or we can work with what the universe has already provided in order to create such opportunities. Health, money, peace of mind… no matter what your goal may be you have a choice:

Live passively and let life happen
or live actively and make life happen.

©2018 Scott D. Wilson

Friday, 31 March 2017

What Are You Waiting For?


What Are You Waiting For?


“I will act now. I will act now. I will act now.
Henceforth, I will repeat these words
each hour, each day, every day,
until the words become
as much a habit as my breathing,
and the action which follows becomes
as instinctive as the blinking of my eyelids.
With these words I can condition my mind
to perform every action necessary
for my success.I will act now.” – Og Mandino

Tomorrow, it is the curse of mankind. Tomorrow is a thief – a con man! We foolishly give it our dreams, our goals and our hopes, and it gives us nothing in return. We always think the cheque is in the mail. We always naïvely believe that tomorrow will come and bring us our reward. A better day is always on the horizon. Instead, today we receive the bills for the unpaid efforts of yesterday. It is far too easy to live in the mediocre satisfaction of today. We need to become uncomfortable now!

In our discomfort we can see what we are sowing. We can know the results before they come. We can choose a different path before the road that we are on becomes a one-way street. We can beat tomorrow by winning the game today! We can stop putting off what we know is needed. We can stop thinking and start doing. Tomorrow will enlist fear to stand in our way… to block our path with visions of failure and disaster. It will soothe us with the luring promise that circumstances might be more favorable later.

Plug your ears against its numbing siren song! Face fear head on! Arm yourself with your passions and your love. Pick up the sword of self-esteem and cut a path forward through the underbrush of procrastination one small stroke at a time. Health will be yours! Success will be yours! Prosperity will be yours! Life will be yours! Take back the hopes and dreams from tomorrow and start building them today. Act now.

Are you waiting for tomorrow to deliver on its promises?  Don’t be fooled; stop waiting for the scam artist. Instead, spend your precious time wisely.  Heed the victory call, “Act now. Act now. Act NOW!”  Become impatient. Squeeze the best out of today. Drain this moment of all its potential. Act like tomorrow may never come. Chase all regrets from today.

What are you waiting for? The time for in action and waiting has passed.  If you truly want success then the time to act is now.  If you want results then you need to make their cause happen at this time.  Make this day your day.  Let us abandon tomorrow and its empty promises. No more accidents.  Live your life on purpose.  Know that all you crave lies behind your fears – so face them with ferocity! Lay hold of your birthright… your authentic self and a genuine life!

Huzzah!
©2017 Scott D. Wilson

Tuesday, 13 December 2016

Frivolously Important



Frivolously Important

©2016 Scott D. Wilson



“Life is far too important to ever take seriously.” –Oscar Wilde & me


I distinctly remember when these words first came to me.  I was in a church parking lot talking to a friend one evening when they came to my mind and I spoke them aloud to him.  I decided then and there that they would be part of my life motto.  It was a few months later that I found that Oscar Wilde had sort of beaten me to the punch; he had said “…life is far too important a thing ever to talk seriously about it.”  Time and the internet morphed his words and you will find the quote above attributed to him.


I will tell you why I think this statement is important.  First of all, it is paradoxical.  I have found that the most profound truths live in paradoxes.  Consider “Love you neighbour as yourself.”   That is a profound paradox concerning the balance between the selfish and the selfless.  Another paradox, the most valuable things in life are free:  life, family and friends.  Where you find a paradox you will likely find valuable wisdom.  My quote today is of equal significant.  This life is important.  It is deeply and extremely important and not to be treated lightly.  That is all the more reason not to kill it with seriousness.  The one thing that virtually everyone, including myself, takes too seriously is ourselves.


All our problems seem larger than life, everything we do seems all important.  Our successes and failures are all-consuming. We invest huge amounts of serious time and emotion into ourselves.  And when life upsets our apple cart we react as if the world itself was ending.  We fail to put our existence into perspective.  We fail to see ourselves as brief unique miracle in the vast timeline of human history.  We take for granted our very existence, forgetting the world before our birth and neglecting the reality after our inevitable death.


As we strive towards success in life let us remember the sacred preciousness of our lives and treat ourselves less seriously.  Imagine that you had a mission of utmost importance that required you to drive for several days across America from one coast to the next.  There would be long hours in the close quarters of a vehicle, and cramped nights in the dingy rooms of roadside motels. Would you choose serious and sombre companions or would you bring along some cheerful, light-hearted and humorous friends?  Your life from cradle to grave is the most important journey that you will ever take.  Keep it joyful.  Don’t take it too seriously.

Friday, 11 November 2016

Letter to a Fearful Warrior

Image result for reluctant warrior
Letter to a Fearful Warrior

Dear Warrior,

The end of this life is inescapable. Death comes to everyone without exception. So how you fill the time between death and birth is the only matter of importance. What have you to fear? What are you afraid to lose? Can you really fail?

Feel the brevity of life. Yet do not despair. Rejoice! Allow the urgency of it to infuse your decisions and actions. A warrior who hesitates in battle suffers defeat or worse. Truly, tomorrow never comes so make the best of all that you are and all that you have NOW.

A blade remains useless in the scabbard. A sharp mind remains useless sheathed with inaction. Be a person of action. Overcome the paralysis of fear and uncertainty. Turn and face the enemy knowing who you are. With stillness inside, move rapidly and with purpose. Yield and overcome.

Again warrior, what do you fear? In the end all is lost when the ultimate gift is returned to the giver. In this sense nothing is truly yours to begin with, including your own life. Until the time of your end you must continue to overcome the enemies on your path. They are fear, knowledge and power. Fear blocks your path to knowledge. Knowledge unapplied becomes and addiction that blocks your way to power. Power intoxicates and blocks your way to overcoming yourself.

What is timidity to one who knows that death is his lifetime companion and that each moment may be their last? The past is gone and all it can offer you are its lessons and the wisdom that arises from refection upon it. There is no future, there is simply now. Do what needs doing now. Remember the wise words of Don Juan Matus:

A warrior must focus his attention on the link between
himself and his death. Without remorse or sadness or worrying, he
must focus his attention on the fact that he does not have time and
let his acts flow accordingly. He must let each of his acts be his
last battle on earth. Only under those conditions will his acts
have their rightful power. Otherwise they will be, for as long as
he lives, the acts of a fool.
When one has nothing to lose, one becomes courageous.
We are timid only when there is something we can still cling to.

Today and this moment are yours. Be the warrior that you were meant to be, not an ignorant commoner paralyzed by fear and mortality. Live knowing that death is at hand for any one of us. Love with all your heart. Act without hesitation, knowing the shortness of life. Overcome your enemies. Follow the path with heart, the path with passion. Become impeccable in thought, word and action. You truly have nothing to lose and you have everything to win!

©2016 S.D. Wilson

Sunday, 17 July 2016

Finding You Ikigai

Finding Your Ikigai
By Scott D. Wilson

Have you ever struggled to stay motivated towards a given goal?  Whether it was sticking to a financial budget, striving to keep a fitness goal or some other beneficial discipline, you just couldn’t seem to muster what you needed to keep your focus.  You are far from alone.  What if I were to suggest that you are only seeing a symptom of your trouble?  Perhaps there is another element missing from your life that would help to put your goals on track.  Perhaps you need to find your ikigai.

When it comes to health, well-being and longevity the world seems to worship at the feet of Okinawa, Japan.  Their lifestyles have been exhaustively studied.  Many diets and supplements have been created from their way of eating.  Their martial arts and meditation practices have been taught and spread around the word.  Although these are all noble efforts it is the more recent focus on the people’s philosophy and thinking that has caught my attention.

You see, in Okinawa there is not real concept for retirement.  People are simply expected to remain engaged in life throughout their entire lifespan.  Oh for sure, people slow down and they may even change occupation but their life experience is constantly being applied in gainful ways.  Central to this way of life is the concept of ‘ikigai’ (生き甲斐, pronounced icky-guy).  The term ikigai is composed of two Japanese words: iki (生き?), referring to life, and kai (甲斐?), which roughly means "the realisation of what one expects and hopes for".  In short, it is "a reason to get up in the morning" or a reason to enjoy life.  Everyone, according to the Japanese, has an ikigai.

There is a TED Talk by Dan Buettner who suggested ikigai as one of the primary reasons for the longevity of Okinawans, and he may be onto something.  For finding one’s ikigai requires a long and deep search of oneself.  Finding your ikigai is akin to finding the meaning of your life.  Ikigai brings value to one’s life and it set our purpose.  Times may be gloomy and dreary and fortunes may be failing but a person who understands their ikigai presses on with intention and resolve.

It is generally believed that one’s ikigai can be found at the intersection of four areas of one’s life:

#1 What you love.
#2 What you are good at.
#3 What the world needs.
#4 What you can be paid to do.

Imagine that sweet-spot where you are doing something that you love, you are good at, the world needs and you can be paid to do it!  That is ikigai.  It is that place where your passion, profession, mission and vocation come together.  As I said earlier, it gets you up in the morning.

I want people to succeed.  To this end I study the successful lives of people throughout history.  I seek through the disciplines of philosophy to better see and understand life so that might develop methods to make myself and others more successful and prosperous.  I like the concept of ikigai because it draws together all the elements necessary for our success in any venture.  We like to believe that we are purely rational creatures making decisions based on our noble beliefs and logical understanding.  This is largely bunk.  We are irrational and emotional creatures with a capacity to use reasoning.

We try to remain rational but our emotions make most of the decisions and our reasoning minds tag along for the ride.  If anything, our rational mind and our emotions and spirit are usually at odds with each other.  The rational mind rarely fares well in these conflicts, retreating to a corner and licking its wounds while finding logic to justify our largely illogical choices and decisions.  All too often our minds are slaves to our fears, being made to generate sound reasons for avoiding risk and keeping the status quo intact.  “If it isn’t broken then why fix it?” we intone to justify remaining as we are, regardless of our state of being.

This is not the best way to live life.  This is surviving, not thriving.  Those throughout history who were happiest and healthiest followed their hearts and their dreams.  They used their passions to face their fears.  They were not content to keep what they loved, what they were good at, what they were paid for and what the world needed in separate boxes of their lives.  The successful in life fused these four together to fuel their efforts and generate success in all areas of their lives.  It did not matter if they were striving in school, working through their career, starting a new business, creating art, perfecting their baking, or losing weight; those who succeeded did so with every facet of their being.  They knew largely how to harmonize their emotional and rational minds to resolve the conflict and overcome the inevitable fears that block the path to their success.

We are each a mixture of loves and fears along with experiences and memories. We have been endowed with a marvelous mind that can think, innovate and create.  We can tame our fears and we pursue out loves.  We can give our lives purpose.  This purpose will drive all that we work to achieve.  Yes, ikigai gives us a reason to get up but it also brings meaning to everything that we seek to accomplish.

Without ikigai all our noble efforts will be shaky at best.  Without a core purpose then we will naturally question following any goal.  If we wonder why we are here at this time and place then we will wonder the purpose of doing anything whatsoever.  How can such uncertainty succeed?  In contrast if we have a core purpose fueling our every breath then we will put our entire being into every goal that harmonizes with our ikigai.  If weight loss facilitates our ikigai then we will lose weight.  If prosperity helps us to follow our ikigai then we will strive to prosper. If you have united your passion, your mission, your profession and you vocation then you can use that to succeed in all your dreams and hopes.

And so I commend you to seek your own unique ikigai. Stop fumbling with lesser goals.  There are many who are content with very little.  They shed their quests for fame and fortune and followed a path with heart.  They face their fears daily and overcome them.  Still others prosper that they might fulfill their deeper purpose.  All their goals are full and meaningful because they are tied to their central ikigai.  If you have found your motivations flagging and you are asking a lot of ‘whys’ then that is your opportunity to discover your ikigai.  Follow those ‘whys’ as far as they will take you.  If you can satisfy your own questioning mind and inquisitive heart then an amazing treasure awaits and the Okinawans have named it ‘ikigai.’ 

©2016 S.D. Wilson

To those who wondered..

To those who wondered…


I have been neglectful of this blog and to those who have enjoyed it I apologize.  I have been plagued with too much good.  I am writing two books.  I am successfully moderating a website. I am doing well at my day job.  I have been active a lot with my volunteer work. I am stretched thin.

I am now having to make some tough choices.  I love many things.  I love helping people. I need to focus where I can do my best.  I believe this blog is still important.  I am not sure I can keep it up on a weekly basis but I think a bi-weekly will still be doable.  

And so I hope I can continue to provide you folks with some inspiration and some thoughts to help you in furthering your success.  Let’s continue to walk this path of success together!

Cheers!!!

Sunday, 6 March 2016

The Special

The Special
©2016 Scott D. Wilson,P.Eng.
Most here are aware of my affinity for the movie ‘The Matrix’ and its concepts.  Those reading the title of this article who have children will already have an idea about what other film I want to discuss here today.  The term “The Special” refers to the film ‘The Lego Movie.’   For those unfamiliar with this movie I can summarize it this way.  The film draws many parallels to my cherished Matrix.  Most noteworthy is the journey of the main characters.  In the ‘Lego Movie’ the rebel group is looking for “The Special” and in ‘The Matrix’ they are looking for “The One.”  In ‘The Matrix’ Neo, or Thomas A. Anderson, struggles to understand that he is the special person with unique abilities to perceive and change reality.  In ‘The Lego Movie’ Emmet struggles with a prophesy that has labelled him “The Special” and expects him to be a “Master Builder” and “the most interesting, and most extraordinary person in the universe.”
There are many other parallels that can be explored and both our heroes ultimately realize their full potential and end the oppression of their people.  However, ‘The Lego Movie’ diverges in one VERY significantly different way.  Neo is distinctly different and therefore special.  He acts and thinks in ways that are different from everybody else.  It is his uniqueness that makes him “The One.”  Emmet on the other hands is exactly like everyone else.  He is the quintessential nobody.  He blends in with everyone and he is uncreative and truly boring.  Yet he becomes “The Special” quite by accident when he falls down a hole while chasing a beautiful and mysterious woman.  Neo is a reluctant Christ figure but Emmet is every one of us.
Yet both our heroes transcend their perceived limitations and break free of the oppressive reality that enslaved them.  Both characters gain the ability to literally rearrange reality to suit their needs and to help those around them.  The difference that I noted is important because of this simple idea that Emmet realizes:
“You are the most talented, most interesting, and most extraordinary person in the universe. And you are capable of amazing things. Because you are the Special. And so am I. And so is everyone. The prophecy is made up, but it's also true. It's about all of us. Right now, it's about you, and you....still.....can change everything.”
Emmet realized the truth that what makes someone special is not some magical gift or talent or ability.  It is not something that some people fortunately have and that others unfortunately do not.   It is a choice that they make.  Every normal person has the ability to change the way they see reality.  Every one of us further has the ability to change that reality.   All of us have the capability to become “The One” or “The Special.”  We all can wake-up to the untapped potential within us and become astoundingly so much more than we are today.
This is an important realization that we all should think hard upon and act upon even harder still.  So many are looking for their Neo, a special unique saviour with super-powers, to come and liberate them from the mess of their lives.  All the while, what they truly need to do is realize that they are the special person that can make all the difference.   If they would only realize this simple fact they would become their own superhero, just like Emmet.  There are barriers.  I recognize this.  Knowing something with our heads is not the same as actually knowing and experiencing the truth of something.  
From the Kamasutra to the Kinsey Reports there is a lot of useful and wonderful information about human sexual intercourse.  We could spend years reading and fill our heads with the knowledge.  Personally, none of that information will ever compare to the experience of a bona fide orgasm with a trusted and loving partner.  Knowing the truth is not the same as acting upon it.  Knowing that we are special and that we can be special is the same kind of realization.  This reality needs to be experienced!  It requires us to act upon what we know in our minds and then experience the reality of this new situation that we create.  It is literally an act of faith… faith in ourselves.
To those out there hesitating, who do not believe that they have what it takes, I urge you to suspend that doubt and make an act of faith in yourself.  Act as if your dream is truly becoming reality.  I know that it will be fearful but I can personally guarantee that it can be equally wonderful.  Would you truly rather face the bitter of regret of opportunities lost?  Stop waiting for the one who will save you.  Become your own hero today.  Put on that cape!
Today, I want to also acknowledge all the superheroes in this life.  You know who you are.  You have grabbed hold of your life with both hands and you are riding it for all that it is worth.  You have taken back control where you once were enslaved.  You have gone from victim to victorious. You stopped making excuses and started making a difference.  You have learned to look at reality with new eyes and to in turn exceed the perceived boundaries that once trapped you.   And most important, you have openly shared and given back so that others can become heroes too.  You folks are “The Specials”, “The Master Builders”, and “The Ones” that make this world work... that make the journey special.  THANK YOU!

Sunday, 7 February 2016

Embracing Our Darkness


Embracing Our Darkness

©Scott D. Wilson 2014



This article does not directly address the topic of success.  It is worthwhile nonetheless, especially to those who struggle with dark feelings on their quest to overcome and persevere.

I am just mellowing on a cool autumn afternoon on my personal day of rest as it draws to a close. By my spiritual calendar this time of the year is somber time, a time of reflection and introspection.  It is a time when the natural world slows down.  It is a time to consider both life and our eventual death, not morbidly but as a sober acknowledgment of reality.  Fall is about harvest and death.
For me, two important days loom near and they paradoxically portend of both of tribulation and celebration. It is the paradox of joy and sorrow that dominates my mind presently.  My thoughts are drawn to Robin Williams and those like him.  Their actions strike us hard because we look up to them and admire their abilities and talents.  We wonder how such joy and laughter could be mixed with such tremendous sorrow.  We imagine what we would do in their shoes.  Many consider their final acts to be a result of weakness. 
I can attest that depression is not something borne of a weakness of character or mind. Success and intelligence are not barriers against the darkness.  If anything, they can often come at a price of one's sanity and well-being.  It is lonely at the top of any field.  It is ultimately loneliness and disconnection from our fellow creatures that lead to acts of despair.
I understand that path and I offer some advice, for what it is worth. It is alright to be sad or melancholy.  It is fine to experience the darkness and dreariness of fall and winter.  Do not compare your somber mood with those around you.  They have their journey and you have yours.  What you feel can be natural.  It is okay to be alone for a while.   I challenge you to sit quietly with your ‘demon’.  Do not judge yourself or your feelings; sadness is not negative and joy is not positive.  They simply just are.
Here is my advice: Sit down with your inner darkness and ask it “What are you teaching me?” It may merely want to be heard.  Evolutionists and spiritual wisdom agree that pain is exists to help us learn and avoid harm.  Depression does not have to be destructive.  We do not need to fear it.  Be still – listen with all your senses.  The message may come in images, smells, tastes or sounds.  Don’t necessarily expect words or a voice.  
Sometimes our unhappiness is merely there to drive us towards a dream or passion that we left behind or forgot. Let your melancholy awaken your creativity.  Perhaps you need to draw it or write about it.   Your blues may be leading you to face a some fear in your life.  Whatever the answer, be patient and let it come. 
Now here is the second and sometimes most challenging part: Share what you have learned.  Find someone that you can trust and share what your shadows have revealed to you.  Display your drawing, post your writing, explain your idea, or communicate your vision.  You may inspire others or you might simply make a connection to someone.  Your lesson may serve only you but you will be surprised how often it reaches and helps others.  We may all come to experience pain as a patient teacher rather than a cruel tormentor.  
Well that is all, my friends. I hope it helps a little in lessening the struggle of life that sometimes comes to each of us.  I will leave you with the insightful perspective of Charlie Chaplin and two songs that have inspired me in my days of darkness:
“Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy in long-shot.” – Charlie Chaplin

Wednesday, 16 December 2015

The Language of Your Life

The Language of your Life

©2015 Scott D. Wilson
 
“Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it”  ― Christopher Morley
 
Depending on your view language is either mankind’s greatest invention or its greatest gift.  Language enables us to share and transmit ideas, feelings and experiences in creative ways.  We take it for granted as we use it daily, but language is one of our most powerful tools.  Language has been used to change countless lives and even to forge the events of history itself.  Language is the programming code for our minds.  The way we speak reveals a lot about our upbringing and our background.   Our speech also shows the inner workings of our mind and thoughts.
 
If you close your eyes and imagine then you can likely think of countless examples of speaking patterns that you have encountered throughout your life: 
 
  • the clipped speech of a police officer who has pulled you over
  • the colourful drawl and homespun words of a rural western American 
  • the loud and vibrant language of a passionate evangelical preacher
  • the rough profanity-laced dialogue of a hard-living miner
  • the carefully measured words of a suit-and-tie executive speaking to the board
  • the angry venom of a native New York cabbie who just got cut off by another driver.
  • the gentle tones and soft language of a counsellor consoling a grieving spouse
  • the serious and grave dialect of criminal judge handing down a severe sentence
 
My point is that words themselves and how they are delivered vary immensely and carry with them more than mere information.  In a sense, we paint a picture with our language.  We study the ancient cave drawings in the hope to understand prehistoric communications.  We know that our development of words literally took the place of those early cave paintings.
 
Yes, we use language to convey ideas, images, feeling and experience.  In essence, we use speech to share a piece of our lives or a moment of our living.  Ah, but allow me to expand the vocabulary of this discussion.  The deaf use words but they convey them through gestures and signs.  The blind read but they must use texture and form.  So communication is not limited to words on page or the oration from our mouths.  Of course we have all heard of body language but that is not really what I am talking about here.
 
I am talking about the very dialogue of our daily living.  Every day we get up and go about living our lives.  How we do this communicates to universe itself and to others.  The vocabulary of our actions speaks volumes to our character and our attitude.  We may quietly whisper our gratitude through the act of prayer and meditation.  We may loudly proclaim our anger and frustration through our surliness or sullen attitude.  We might chat our joy brightly through our beaming smile and happy demeanor.  Perhaps we speak slowly and deliberately with our careful behaviour and cautious nature.  Or perchance we might zip off the quick staccato of our nervousness.
 
What I am saying here is that our behaviour speaks as truly as our words.  Our lives are like that cave wall thousands of years ago.  We paint upon it our communications to others and to the world around us.  I am asking you, reader, to consider what kind of message you are sending with your life.  Is it a deliberate and positive message that others will want to read and understand?  Or possibly are you randomly scrawling on the walls of your lifetime?  Today, you have the chance to become aware of the messages that you have been sending.  Look back and try to read the words that you have been living.  Do they contain hope?  Love? Trust?  Fear?  Bitterness?  Despair?
 
Life is meant to be deliberately lived.  If we intend to succeed we need to look not only at what we are saying to others with our words but also what we are saying with our demeanor, our attitude, our dress, our deportment… our entire lives!  Make sure your whole message is worth hearing!
 
“In the end, we'll all become stories.”  ― Margaret Atwood

Denying Leadership - the Perils


Denying Leadership - the Perils
©2015 Scott D. Wilson
 
Do you want to be successful?  Do you want to be a leader?  If you answered ‘yes’ to the first question then you better have answered ‘yes’ to the second one as well.  “But I don’t want to lead anyone!” you may protest.  My response to you is “Too bad, get used to it!”  I used to be exactly like you.  I thought I could be successful all on my own, away from the crowds and the rest of the world.  I did not want to be a leader.  To be a leader means having followers and to me that seemed like an unnecessary responsibility and hassle.
However, if one is serious about success then one needs to look at what exactly it means to succeed.  Put simply, success at its most basic level is merely setting a goal and through effort, measurably achieving it.  For example, in weight loss, one usually gauges success by achieving a given body weight or fat percentage.  Unless one is losing an insignificant amount of weight then achieving this goal will take significant determination and the effects will be noticeable.  If one succeeds there will be people who have known the individual who will ask about their method and the key to their achievement.  Remember, many people try unsuccessfully to lose weight.  Actually losing weight would put this person in the small group of leaders that has attained the desired goal.
In most worthwhile ventures you will likely seek the help and expertise of others with experience or knowledge that will aid you in your quest.  As a seeker you will understand the need for leaders to help those along the path.  As you gain your own knowledge and experience in any field this will eventually make you a leader in that area. If you have received help it will be natural to want to return this help to those who seek to follow towards the same goal.  This is basic leadership.
Whatever the nature of what you strive for, when you attain your goals people will in all likelihood notice.  Success stands out amid the struggling crowds.  Visible change is generally required to reach our various goals.  Change and difference are noticeable amid this largely mundane world.  Succeeding at virtually anything draws the attention of others.
If success were commonplace then there would be little need for leaders, but real achievement is sufficiently rare that it demands leadership from those who attain their goals.  Even those new to success need to acknowledge their leadership.   Leaders are required… even those who might be inexperienced in success and those who are still avidly learning!  Perfection and mastery are not perquisites for leadership.
If you are proving yourself and making developments in some endeavour then people will start to look to you as an expert in the subject.  Success and leadership go hand in hand.  Denying leadership is to deny success.
This does not mean that we seek leadership to in the hopes of creating success.  Being successful generates leadership but leadership does not necessarily breed success. This does however mean that we should not reject or deny leadership as we win ground in our personal efforts.  We need to become comfortable with others looking up to us and seeking advice or guidance.  This is a natural by-product of achievement.
Though our personal goals may pertain only to our own development and improvement we need to be aware that this can and will alter who we are and how we are perceived by others.  And this is ok.  Being followed is not to be dreaded.  Humbly accept that your own success can fuel and inspire the dreams, hopes and efforts of others.  And if by some odd chance someone uses your guidance to motivate their own success then perchance one day you might paradoxically choose to follow their leadership!

Monday, 2 November 2015

Know who you are!

Know who you are!

©2015 Scott D. Wilson

High on the side of Mount Parnassus sits the Temple of Apollo and Oracle of Delphi.  Prominently inscribed on the temple walls are the many Delphic maxim.  Among the most famous of these proverbs by far is this one:

γνῶθι σεαυτόν

In ancient Greek it reads "Gnothi seauton" which translates simply to "Know thyself."  Great philosophers and thinkers through the ages have pondered and expounded upon this aphorism.  It seems like such a trite statement: Know yourself.  I mean honestly, we spend twenty-four hours a day with ourselves from cradle to grave.  One would think that we would get to know ourselves pretty well during that time so why bother advising us all to do so?  Surprising, I do think this is often the case.  It has been my experience that we do not tend to pay attention to the commonplace things in our lives.

Unless we come to the point that we are gasping for breath we rarely pay attention to the air that surrounds us.  Until we have been significantly deprived of nourishment then we seldom truly relish the complete experience of food.  It is only when we lose someone significant that we start to understand the depth and breadth of their impact within all the parts of our lives.  So I purport that we humans have a tendency to take ourselves for granted and that we do not truly understand our own hearts and minds very well.  Oh sure, we all carry around an image of ourselves within us but we are constantly amazed when that image is challenged by our own actions and reactions.  We are quite often our own worst enemies and so many of us are perplexed by this fact.

The great Chinese general and strategist, Sun Tzu well understood this important reality of our situation:

“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle”

In our daily situation the enemy and our self are one and the same thing.  It is no wonder that we struggle so often with ourselves and with others.  Clearly, it is much to our advantage to overcome ourselves and thereby succeed in our lives.  To do this we need to truly understand and know ourselves. This is not an easy goal.  Since we drew breath we have been told who we are by others and we have likewise formed our own opinions over time.  We have great investment in these personas and identities.  We like to believe ourselves kind, generous or wise.  We enjoy such labels as being ‘a good father’, ‘a great friend’ or ‘a considerate lover.’  We have unquestionably accepted many titles on our journey through life, both complimentary and degrading.  And when our behaviour does not match a hard-held belief about ourselves then we experience confusion and frustration.

So we are thus confronted with the ancient adage to know ourselves.  To follow this directive takes action.   We must sincerely make the effort and take the time to get to know ourselves.  One needs sober and honest reflection on one’s own actions and reactions.  We are required to put aside the images that we have of ourselves and the identities that others have given to us.  Only then we can truly and honestly ask ourselves who and what we are.

I challenge you to reflect upon your life so far and the actions that you have taken.  Have you been cruel?  Have you been kind?  Were you thrifty or wasteful?  Gentle or harsh?  Look at your emotions and your thoughts.  Seek to be objective.  Neither defend nor criticize yourself.  Above all, try your utmost to be brutally honest but gentle with yourself.  In all likelihood what you learn will both amaze and terrify you.  You will need to gently accept your faults and humbly accept your virtues for both of these aspects define you in all your uniqueness.  You are both saint and sinner, light and dark.  This is okay.

Many reading here must wonder about the payoff of such efforts.  Self-reflection is often painful when we face dark truths about ourselves.  It can also be rewarding as we take inventory of virtues that we have been denying.  Above all, I believe that learning about ourselves helps us to become more effective and successful in our daily efforts.  We interact better with others when we understand who we truly are and who we are not.

From my own experience, I list here below but a few of the many benefits of following the sage advice to “Know thyself”:

  • You are equally immune to flattery and insult.
  • You accept yourself and in so doing accept all others as they are.
  • You become invulnerable to coercion and corruption because you know what you need and why you need it.
  • You see that your worst fears guard the pathways to your most passionate dreams.
  • You realize that peace, love and happiness are not destinations.  They are the pathway.
  • You understand your connection with your environment and source for all life.
  • You develop the awareness that you cannot give without receiving or take without losing. 
  • You know that hatred gives energy to the things that you hate and so you selfishly conserve your energy and forgive.
  • You see the difference between knowledge and wisdom… and choose wisdom.
  • You lose the words I’ll try, I think, I hope and I might.
  • You use the words I will, I can, I have, I am, and I shall.
  • You see with clarity your own folly, flaws, errors and failures and face them without excuse or self-pity.
  • You acknowledge and accept the darkness within your own soul.
  • Knowing your own short-comings and imperfections you extend gentleness, kindness and love towards the harsh cruelty, fear and selfishness of others.
  • Humbly you accept your talents, gifts and virtues and take responsibility to act on them.
  • You become free to love abundantly without restraint or conditions.
  • Looking outwards you see this world with new eyes.  Nothing changes and yet everything does!

And lastly, you will be able to follow the last directives written at the Oracle of Delphi…

    Παις ων κοσμιος ισθι – As a child be well-behaved
    Ηβων εγκρατης  – As a youth be self-disciplined
    Μεσος δικαιος  – As of middle-age be just
    Πρεσβυτης ευλογος  – As an old man be sensible
    Τελευτων αλυπος  – On reaching the end be without sorrow

Tuesday, 13 October 2015

Playing the Game

Playing the Game
®Scott D. Wilson,P.Eng.

"Life is like a game of cards. The hand you are dealt is determinism; the way you play it is free will." -Jawaharlal Nehru



Have you ever had someone say to you "Get your head in the game!"? Well one way to look at life is through the model of a game. You roll the dice. You make your moves. And you have some fun in the playing. Life is full of both joy and tragedy. To focus on either side is folly. Today, I suggest that we get our head in the game.

Genetics, birth circumstances, upbringing, family, geography, and so many more factors, these are the hand that we are dealt. We did not choose the game. The game chose us. Ah, but then we have this thing called 'choice'! We have the power to choose what we will and will not entertain in our lives. We have the power of doing and not doing, being and not being. What we take away can be priceless: experience.

If we pause in our gameplay and reflect on the moves we made, how we played our cards and the outcomes that we achieved then we can begin to see the patterns of cause and effect within ourselves and in others. Results are not random. We are not victims of our circumstances. Our choices have profound effects on ourselves and our world. We can become better gamesmen. Life can be hacked. We can up our game. Wisdom does not come by chance or accident. It is intentional. It is a choice too.

So whether you are on fairway or off in the rough, on the court or on the sidelines planning your next move, remember that you can always choose to look back and learn from how you played so far. There is always chance to learn and improve. Life is always there to teach you the lessons that you need to succeed. Circumstances are not an excuse not to play or improve. Your choices will both empower you and define you. It is the experience that counts so let's make experience that we can count on! Have fun and remember that nobody gets out of this alive so play it all with gusto!

"You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than anyone else." -Albert Einstein

Cheers!

P.S. Although life can be considered a game we should be aware that it is not a competitive one against the all the rest of humanity. If played well then everyone should win!!!

Nickelback - When We Stand Together

Sunday, 21 June 2015

Dads ot The World, Celebrate!


Dads of the World, Celebrate!!
©2015 Scott Wilson

Father's Day - The day where sons and daughters get together to show their appreciation for dad, right?  Not for me.  Today is my day to celebrate the awesome, frightening, incredible privilege of being a dad.  Much as I am grateful for the acts of appreciation, I sincerely enjoy a day to stop and reflect on this one significant role that I added to my life.
Throughout life we wear many hats: child, adult, parent, student, teacher, employee, passenger, driver, team member, coach, caretaker, friend, lover, spouse, artist, reader, writer and so many more.   Few of these roles compare to the unimaginable experience of fatherhood.  Parenthood, real parenthood, is not for the faint of heart.  The joys and the sorrows, the excitement and worry - it is truly a roller-coaster of emotion.
First, your love for your mate materializes in the words "I'm pregnant."  Then there is anxious waiting and anticipation that climaxes with the announcement "It's time." In one miraculous moment this new life emerges into the world and they are your responsibility - to love, to care for, to nurture and to introduce to all the wonders and possibilities of this amazing world.  The very thought of it overwhelms your mind and emotions.
For some twenty or so years you then standby as a guardian, teacher, disciplinarian, coach, guide, confidant, and eventually, friend. You struggle between holding on and letting go.  Ultimately, you are expected to release them completely, to make their own way in the universe.  Yet, no matter how old they get you still feel the weight of responsibility for them.  Through it all you cheer their victories, console their losses, support their trials, hurt with them through their pain, and laugh with them when life called for it.  You are the witness to so much of the formative and critical parts of their lives.
Dads, you have signed on for a most amazing and beautiful of missions.  It will test your resolve, stain your heart, leave deep scars, and sometimes tear you to pieces.   In return, you have the privilege to share in the unique creation of a human life, a character, a personality, and an individual person. It will carry on for your entire life and you may never know whether you were truly a 'success'.  You will make mistakes, guaranteed.  Your job is to persevere and do your best.  In the end, that is all you can do and the rest is up to them.
So dads of the world, today I salute you and encourage you to celebrate the opportunities that you have been given.  Remember to enjoy every moment that you have with your kids, both the good and the bad.  We all have a fixed number of rotations on this globe.  Today is your day, so commit again to doing your best to earn the esteemed title of 'Dad'!