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Friday, 25 July 2014

Principles for Success - by Douglas Gordon Wilson

This is technically not my post. This belongs to my father who died in 2002. We discovered it after his death. He had written it on a piece of engineering quad paper. It is wonderful and concise. It is a shame that he never shared it with us when he was alive. I believe that it was meant to be shared an so I give it to you here:

Principles for Success
  
©Douglas G. Wilson (1934-2002)
 
1. Keep a Journal / Diary – exercise memory – keep good records on people and events

2. Exhibit self-confidence (without being cocky) . Be self-confident. Be out-going / gregarious.

3. Be very people conscious
                    Congratulate whenever possible                Exhibit genuine interest in superiors and subordinates

                    Use names (Make special effort to remember / memorize names). When meeting a group of people try to get and learn names in advance.

4. Read all available material related to your job. Keep up on all new developments.

5. Before making decisions get all the facts. Take steps to reduce risks of any decisions but be prepared to take the risks knowing and evaluating them. Reach decisions as quickly as possible (Research proportional to importance of decision).

6. Anticipate (Plan ahead).

7. Communicate extensively (Be careful to make certain that your communications are understood as you intended). Listen carefully and understand what’s being said to you.

8. Delegate (both responsibility & authority) but maintain control. Don’t try to shirk your responsibility through delegation.

9. Participate in industry and community associations. Develop a wide range of associates and friends.

10. Don’t take yourself too seriously and be true to yourself and your family. Stand up for your own rights.

11. Don’t compromise your principles.

12. Learn to trust without being gullible.

13. Work hard (and long if necessary). Be sure that the value of your services equals or exceeds the immediate rewards.

14. Study and understand your competition.

15. Review the results of your actions and decisions. Know why you either succeeded or failed (Learn from you mistakes and don’t make the same mistake twice).

16. Develop outside interests.

When Life Says 'No'


When Life Says 'No'

©Scott D. Wilson 2014




Today's theme song is:


"Bless the Broken Road" by Rascal Flatts

Admittedly, this song is primarily about romantic love.  However, one can also look at it from several angles.  For example, from a spiritual perspective, the singer could be speaking about the failed paths that eventually led him to a relationship with his Creator. 


I can personally see various different ways to view this song. The lesson that I choose take from this ballad is that life sometimes says 'no' and that is not always a bad thing. 

Like romantic love, we often pursue noble goals in life with all our heart and soul.  Sometimes they work out, but occasionally they can be savagely ripped away from us:
 
- The wife who works hard to forge a family and home only to be betrayed by a faithless spouse

- The loyal company worker who gives his very life for his company and then is one day unceremoniously forced into early retirement


- The middle-aged couple whose only child is killed by a reckless driver

Pain and loss are naturally felt.  However, it is how we choose to handle these setbacks that makes them either blessings or curses in the long run.

I have seen live shattered by horrific circumstances at many stages of life. Yet I stand amazed when time and time again the human spirit rises above such tragedy like a phoenix from the ashes and brings forth incredible good.

This is the perspective that we must strive for when life seems to slam the door in our face.  Every end can become a new beginning while we still draw breath.  'No' in one area may be 'yes' in another one that we may never have dreamed of before.  We simply need to look on life with new eyes.  We must have the courage to let go and accept an ending.  Then we might learn to embrace new and unexplored possibilities.

Today, look back on life.  How often did 'no' turn into a door to something better?  Remember these times.  Are you facing something now that is painful and seems so unfair?  Take a moment someplace safe and quiet and look away from the problem.  Consider all the things that you sill may possess such as health, family, friends, talents, faith and much more.  Can you see a possible 'yes' somewhere on the distant horizon?  If so, take today to be brave - change course and set sail to a new destination!!

Thursday, 24 July 2014

Where’s your teacher?

Where’s your teacher?

©June 2014 Scott Wilson

A few people may know that my wife and I home-schooled all four of our children through the elementary levels of school. One thing I learned is that by teaching others you learn so much. And so a core philosophy in the Wilson household is that learning is not just for our youth, it is a life-long journey. We explained to our kids that it is not truly the responsibility of teachers to teach students but rather it is the students’ responsibility to learn.

Teachers generally have knowledge and experience that will be of use to you on your academic journey and perhaps even your life journey. It is the student's job to wrest this valuable information from the teachers by any means necessary. In school, you will have good and bad instructors. Regardless of the teacher's skill it remains important for the students to learn the material of the class. To this end we tried to create children who took responsibility for their own learning.

We did not always give our children the answers but we always gave them the resources to find the answers and we taught them how to use those resources. I can report that our methods have proved largely successful. Several of our children had entered high school by the time that we discovered through testing that three of them had diagnosable learning disabilities. Their good marks certainly did not reflect this but our difficulties on the way now made sense.

At this stage you the reader might be wondering why I am talking about teaching and learning. This may seem obvious to most but in order for any of us to learn we must have teachers. To that end I can think of the many formal teachers and instructors that I have had through the years. Some were gifted and memorable, many were lackluster, and still others were horrid. I did my best to learn from them all. Of course thinking of teachers also makes me think of coaches.

Coaches are truly a special breed of teacher. Teachers in the strictest sense of the term simply impart knowledge or transfer information to students. That's it. The measure of a good teacher is whether or not the students can prove knowledge and understanding of a subject through written testing. Whether or not these students can practically apply this information to any benefit is quite another matter. A good coach goes beyond this.

Coaches will still impart knowledge as part of the learning process. But good coaching is far more pragmatic. The test of a good coach is whether or not his or her students or players are succeeding in their chosen challenge. The coach of a consistently losing team is fired. Coaches do not merely impart knowledge but they must also provide a vast number of avenues to apply that knowledge in practical ways. In other words, coaches must also provide the life experiences that are needed to truly understand how that knowledge can be applied. Coaches are also there to help the learners to understand the results that occur when their efforts succeed or fail.

What good would a cooking class be if all it involved was teaching culinary theory, such as recipes and cooking techniques, without allowing the students to actually try their hand at creating food? A true cooking teacher is really a coach who guides the class towards success in creating edible and delectable meals. Compared to the number of good teachers that I have had I have experienced even fewer good coaches but I owe them all a debt of gratitude because of what they helped me to learn about myself and this world.

Allow me to switch gears in this monologue. Plato attributed these wise words to Socrates "The life which is unexamined is not worth living." I take these words to mean that we should not just wander through life experiencing this and experiencing that but we should also take time to reflect upon the actions that we have taken and the results that we have reaped. That is long-winded so I’d say that Socrates said it best, we must examine or reflect upon our life.

Yet I am surprised at how few people seem to do this. Many people ponder why this or that happened in their life but relatively few seem to candidly reflect on the role that they played in the outcomes. When I ask someone why they think that this or that had happened to them they often reply simply “I don’t know.” They appear to be clueless of what role they played in their interactions with others. In short, it seems to me that many people experience life but they do not frequently learn from it.

This is where I have had a small revelation. I have come to realize that life itself has been my greatest teacher and coach! That is really what Socrates was talking about. When we are brutally honest with ourselves about our role in our life and if we own our results, the good and the bad without excuses then it all serves to move us towards success. We must be willing to simply learn the lessons.
 
My dad once wrote on a piece of paper 16 principles that he believed were key to success. Number 15 of those principles was "Review the results of your actions and decisions. Know why you either succeeded or failed. (Learn from your mistakes and don't make the same mistake twice.)" These few insightful words demonstrate an understanding that life can be our coach.

So to those that read my words today: Where is your teacher? Where is your coach? Are you still looking for someone to come and teach you the secrets of life? Look no further. No one person has all the answers for you but life itself will provide the answers if you are willing to work with your life and see them. It takes time and effort but the rewards are real. Take some time today and look at your life. Ask yourself "What is my life trying to teach me?" then wait expectantly for the answers to come. Life will answer!

Encouragement for the Journey

Today's theme music is...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mvsmRuRp4cM (Life is a Highway - Rascal Flatts [cover])

And though I could come up with something pithy to say, someone already said it better than I probably could:

“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Wow! What a Ride!” ― Hunter S. Thompson 

So grab today by the horns, jump on it's back and ride it like your life depeneds on it... because it does! Whether it is weight loss or just a better life, make today count!

Cheers!

Wednesday, 23 July 2014

Leadership and Service

Leadership and Service

©Scott D. Wilson 2014

"To lead the people, walk behind them." — Lao Tzu {Tao Te Ching}

"And he sat down, and called the twelve, and said to them, If any man desire to be first, the same shall be last of all, and servant of all." — Mark 9:35

Leadership has been defined many ways but technically leadership simply occurs once one has followers. By this simple definition virtually everyone is a leader in some fashion. If you are a parent then your children follow your example. At work, no matter how humble the career, we become leaders as we grow in experience and expertise. Even in public, people tend to watch in daily interactions and will often follow the lead of even complete strangers if it seems to their advantage.

So having established that we are all leaders in some way or another then raises the question that begs asking, namely "What constitutes good or great leadership?" It seems evident to me that the best leaders are those who serve the ones that are following them. I believe strongly that this idea is what Lao Tzu and Jesus are expressing in the above quotations.

Too many leaders today seem to be focused on their party's or company’s priorities or in achieving some important goal. These people often think that they are doing good for mankind but they have nonetheless lost sight of those that they serve.

Still other leaders seem to be focused on exploiting their leadership by selling to those who follow them. So few prominent people in positions of leadership seem to remember that it is the ‘little’ people who gave them their popularity and position. How rarely do they seem to ask simply "What can I do to help those who look up to and support me?"

I wonder to myself: How do I handle responsibility? What leaders do I follow? Have I turned around to see those behind me and wondered how can I make their lives just a little better? This should be everyone's duty to their fellow man and foremost in the thoughts of those who would be leaders.

"We must be silent before we can listen. We must listen before we can learn. We must learn before we can prepare. We must prepare before we can serve. We must serve before we can lead." — William Arthur Ward

The Gift of Thanks

The Gift of Thanks

©Scott D. Wilson 2014

"Make it a habit to tell people thank you. To express your appreciation, sincerely and without the expectation of anything in return. Truly appreciate those around you, and you'll soon find many others around you. Truly appreciate life, and you'll find that you have more of it." — Ralph Marston

On Christmas of 2012 I did something that guys normally don't do. I was creative, sensitive and unconventional. As usual, I was struggling to figure out what I could give my mother as a gift. She is in her late 70’s and she really has everything that she needs. I could neither find nor think of anything fun or interesting that she might enjoy.

And then an idea hit me: A Gratitude Jar. I figured that every one of us owes so much to this world that there is no real way to pay it forward; we are truly always paying back. So much more is this the case with our parents and family. My mother has given me so much. She is a huge part of who I am. Even if I began now, I could never really thank her for everything that she has given to and done for me.

So I thought I’d at least take a shot at thanking her for some of the best times in my life. First, I went out and found a nice cookie jar. Next, I went on my computer and generated a bunch of small cards printed on 8.5” x 11” sheets that started with “Thank you…” and ended “Love, Scott” printed in elegant fonts.

Finally, I went to work filling in the words in between. I wrote of big events and small. I wrote whatever came to my mind. Here are some examples:

Thank you… for believing in me.
Thank you… for all the times you took care of me while I was sick.
Thank you… for always loving me no matter what.
Thank you… for reading “Are you my mother?” to me over and over and over.
Thank you… for teaching me to dance to my own tune and that it is alright to colour my pumpkins purple.
Thank you… for letting me make my own mistakes.

Once I had generated several pages all I had to do was print them out, cut them out and put them in the jar. I even gave her some blank templates for others to fill in and drop in her jar. I labelled my jar and wrapped it up.

How did it go? Well, long story short, my mom really liked the gift. She spent quite a bit of time reading through them. I felt better just letting her know directly how much she meant and means in so many ways.

Today, I find myself thinking about unsaid ‘thank-you’s’. How many times have I forgotten or neglected to say a proper thank-you? I know what it feels like to be taken for granted and I know how it feels when someone makes a show of gratitude. My unspoken thanks feel like debts that I owe and I know that I can do better. Today, I think I will ponder on some of those debts and repay them, if I can: with a call, an e-mail, a note or any small way that I am able. It is quite truly the least that I can do.

And so...

To all of you who have encouraged me here on-line... thank you! You have made this journey just that much more enriching!

Please, be happy! Be grateful! We live in rich and bountiful countries! We owe so much to so many and returning thanks merely pays a pittance of our debt!

The Other Small Voice

The Other Small Voice

©Scott D. Wilson 2014

This fellow wanted to talk to you and me so I gave him a chance today...

Hello, can you hear me? I am the OSV, the Other Small Voice. You probably don’t know me too well but that’s ok. Most people ignore me or they listen to my brother NSSV, the Not So Small Voice. He’s the guy who’s always telling you that you aren’t good enough, smart enough, lucky enough or even deserving of anything good.

He’s seems to be far more successful than I am because almost everybody seems to listen to him. Maybe it’s because he reminds people that they are just the same as everyone else and he comforts people when they fail by helping them to come up with good excuses. Also, he saves people time and energy by using these same excuses to avoid attempting anything worthwhile.

But enough about him, it’s my job to remind you of the miraculous nature of who you are and the virtually infinite potential that you possess at this very moment. Did you know that your personal DNA contains a unique sequence of over 3.2 billion base pairs? Barring cloning, there will never be another human being with your specific DNA sequence. Never. You are quite literally an amazing scientific and biological masterpiece. One might even say, a miracle.

I’m telling you this because you need to understand that you have a unique opportunity at this time and this place. Some things you have no control over, like the weather and where you born. The list of uncontrollable things is indeed vast. But you have one very powerful tool: choice. In this moment you have control over what you choose to do, to think and to be. That is powerful! That is far more powerful than the things you cannot control.

You can choose to follow others or you can chart your own course. The point is – this moment, and the next one, will be what YOU choose to make them. You can coast along on autopilot doing what is easiest and accepting what this world seems to be – for better or for worse. Or you can question and dream and start to build something else, something different… something better. Will it be easy? Not likely. Will there be a cost. Sure. Will it be worth it? Oh yes!

Once men looked up and dreamt of flying and now thousands of people are in the air as you read this. Dreams can become reality when you have a vision and make the choice to follow it. So that is why I am here.

I am the OSV. I know that you have been listening to NSSV… but he is wrong. Today I want you to take a chance, dream a dream, and make at least one small step towards a better tomorrow for yourself and everyone. You deserve it. This world deserves it. If everyone on earth took one step closer to their dream today image how amazing tomorrow would look? You are unique, your time is NOW. Make the best of it! The choice is yours…

Celebrate Your Independence

Celebrate Your Independence

©Scott D. Wilson 2014

July 1 is in essence Canada’s Independence Day. It is the day that Canada celebrates its confederation and declared its ability to stand apart from Mother England. In the United States July the 4 is a similar commemoration. With people, we have similar ceremonies for graduations and weddings. Graduations celebrate individuals’ movement towards independence from their families. Weddings honour the confederation of two people into a newly formed family.

Society, through its ceremonies and customs, certainly demonstrates that it values independence. And this is good. Paradoxically, identity is forged with links to our community but also through our own uniqueness and individuality. Every parent craves independence for their children because we want them to thrive without us. We rejoice with every success they make in forming their own identity.

When we look to the most successful people throughout history we cannot help but notice the fierce independence of so many of them. They stood out. They were not afraid to differ from their peers and fellow men and women. In one sense, the world rewards unique and inspiring people who do not simply dream but fight the battle necessary to achieve those dreams.

One dictionary defines the word ‘independent’ as follows:

  • not subject to control by others : self-governing
  • not affiliated with a larger controlling unit
  • not requiring or relying on something else
  • not looking to others for one's opinions or for guidance in conduct

If this definition is factual then despite our cultural drive for independence, very few of us achieve a great measure of it. Most of mankind enjoys affiliation to larger controlling units, be they our companies or our countries or something else. Even billionaires rely on global stability and rules to conduct their daily affairs. It is, however, the last part of the definition that is the most condemning. How many of us look to others daily for validation and guidance?

Independent thinking seems to be valued in leaders but not encouraged among the common man. At first, this may seem counter -intuitive. However, if one thinks about it, independent thinking and action is almost like a test of bravery or a rite of passage. Those willing to stand out and to forego the safety of conformity face a battle against the power of the status quo. Freedom, both of mind and body, are always won through battle.

If one can withstand the daily pressures to fit in then one can finally begin to touch real independence. Independence sprouts when one begins to learn who they truly are without any cues from family or society. It shines forth when an individual begins to trust themselves more than they trust others. Independence rings out when someone can unapologetically say “Here I am world. Are you ready for me?”

The journey to real freedom begins in the heart and mind and plays out in our daily struggles. The constant pressure to follow and accept the ideas and reality of others is strong and even tempting. It is easiest to accept what others see and believe about us. Independence is not the path for every man or woman. Everyone can be free but not everyone will choose to think and act freely. To be free means to take full responsibility for one’s life and its outcome. Independence means that one cannot be a victim. To be free is to take risks and own the consequences, both fair and foul.

So as July begins and independence is celebrated with fanfare and fireworks, I challenge my reader to look at their life, their heart and their thoughts. Are you truly free? Do you want to be free? Are you working your heart and mind towards real independence? If so then those fireworks are for you. Each explosion cheers a victory that you have achieved in becoming more fully and authentically yourself. Every blaze of colour rejoices in your release from the slavery of the views and opinions of others! Those brilliant flashes proclaim to the world the arrival of a new and independent you!

Monday, 14 July 2014

Have you burned your boats?

Have you burned your boats?

©May 2014, Scott Wilson

Today's ponderable pertains to an element of success. First, I need to set up some context.

In Hernán Cortés set forth with about 600 Spaniards to completely conquer Mexico. After landing, Cortés did something that none of his predecessors had done. He ordered his men to burn the boats. He was not the first to use this tactic. About 1000 years previously Alexander the Great did the same thing when landing on the shores of Persia. In each case the leader’s intention was to eliminate from the minds of his men the option of retreat in the face of forces that outnumbered them.

Both generals demanded full commitment to the cause and the only option they allowed was victory. Quitting was not an option. Defeat meant death. Truly it was all or nothing. In each case the decision proved successful. Cortés’ deci­sion to burn his boats made him the first man in 600 years to suc­cess­fully con­quer Mexico.

Napoleon Hill was one the founders of modern success literature and one of his most quoted sayings is: “Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve.” This statement is so true. However, many people focus on the belief element of the statement and ignore conception and achievement.

To conceive an idea is not solely to imagine it. Conception of a real idea requires the vision to understand the steps and effort that is needed to take something from a mere idea into reality. Many have imagined the concept of teleportation but only a few have tackled what is necessary to actually achieve this feat…and those people may yet succeed in achieving it!

Achievement is simply what results when action is paired with unwavering intention. Those who will not permit defeat and who can continually conceive ways to overcome barriers will eventually achieve what they have put their minds to do.

At LoseIt, a web-site that helps people gain control over their body and their weight, I have seen a lot of people come and go in the one consistent year that I have been on the site. Those who have lost the weight and kept it off have not merely conceived what it would be like to be thin. They understood the cost and the effort before they even started. In the Bible, even Jesus himself explained the importance of counting the cost before making an effort:

“For which of you, intending to build a tower, does not sit down first and count the cost, whether he has enough to finish it— lest, after he has laid the foundation, and is not able to finish, all who see it begin to mock him, saying, ‘This man began to build and was not able to finish’? (Luke 14:28-30)

This is a key element to any success. Understanding what you intend to do and what it will cost you. Then “try” is not part of the vocabulary, only “Do.” Once the cost is carefully calculated and understood then burning the boats is not as foolish it may seem.

We humans tend to be very weak at making commitments. We always seem to want an escape clause in our contracts. We always crave a way out when things start getting tough. We blame a lack of motivation or willpower when we fail to follow through.  If we are to succeed then we need to steel our resolve and remove our options AND our *excuses* for failure.

My burning boat was a pair of size 40 pants that I refused to grow beyond. I was willing to do anything to achieve this goal.  If you too are serious about losing weight then I urge you to also find your boats and burn them. But this principle is bigger than just weight loss.  If you have a goal that you have long dreamed to pursue then what is stopping you today? Light your excuses on fire and use their light to find your path to a better you!