Anticipate Weakness

Anticipate Weakness

©2015 Scott D. Wilson,P.Eng.

 

No matter what noble goal we pursue there will come moments of weakness where will we be tempted to throw in the towel or to simply derail our progress by doing something counter-productive.  For the person trying to lose weight it will be that time late at night, fatigued, lonely and down. That will be when the refrigerator or the cookie jar will sing with its irresistible siren song.  For the new entrepreneur it can be around the time that the novelty wears off, enthusiasm peters out and their confidence begins to wane. Or perhaps the feeling of despair sets in when the first significant challenge rears its head and seems insurmountable.   In short, the urges to give in and give up are pretty well universal to all who set goals and set out to succeed.

 

The lesson is that everyone falls prey to moments of weakness so we should anticipate these moments and do our best to prepare for them.  When we set out we always envision ourselves motivated and energized from that point onward.  This is an unrealistic expectation of ourselves.  We need to be kinder to our future selves and help them prepare for the moments of weakness and temptation.  Under present conditions we need to empathize with those under the strain to conform and to take the path of least resistance.  What tools could we give them to help them succeed?  What information could help them to stay positive and motivated to continue?  It is best to ask these questions now when there is no pressure or urgency.

 

If we each had an enemy that we knew was going to attack us some time in the future where we are at our weakest then we would be crazy not to take precautions against them.  We might hire security, train in self-defence, purchase weapons, travel in groups for safety or some other protective measures.  We would certainly not ignore the future threat.  In this case we are actually being pursued by an extremely dangerous enemy and that enemy is ourselves.  We know that they will hit us when we are most vulnerable so it makes sense to prepare now while we are strong.

 

There is another way to understand this idea in concrete terms.  We do our best to maintain our vehicles.  Nonetheless, many of us keep emergency kits in the car so that the effect of unexpected breakdowns is minimized.  Likewise, it is prudent to have disaster kits in our homes for emergencies and first aid.  It would be unwise to start a long quest in the wilderness without a survival pack.  I am suggesting something similar here.  We need to prepare a kind of emergency kit for motivation and determination.  For example, our midnight snacker might pack a distraction in their kit.  They think of food while bored and lonely so the kit might be a game or book or movie or something that they would enjoy more than a snack.  Reserve this item specifically for emergencies so that it is a truly worthwhile distraction.

 

Whether dieting or starting a new business  or any self-improvement goal, the emergency kit will need to be personal and it will need to help keep us in the right direction.  There is no one pat answer that will help for everyone.  Our entrepreneur might write down a list of reasons why they want to pursue their business and keep it in their kit.  Another might list all their talents and assets that support their goal.  Still another might keep recommendations and commendations from various sources that affirm their objectives.  The point is to get creative.  Use pictures, videos, songs, audio, mementos, cash, a list of friends to call, special objects… anything that will shore you up and help you to stay the course when your moments of weakness hit.  The effectiveness of your emergency kit will be proportional to the effort that you put into it while preparing. It also goes somewhat without saying but remember that this is an emergency kit.  It is to be used as weapon of last resort. The more it is used the less effective it will become.  This device is to help you when you are most in need of it.

 

I should also mention that our emergency kit does not necessarily need to be physical.  Martial artists train in repetitive cycles call katas, taolu or forms.  It is this repetition that prepares them to act appropriately when encountering an enemy.  This training and preparation is done when no threats are present.  It allows the people to be prepared and confident when a real opponent strikes.  Since we are talking about mental and emotional battles with ourselves then the fight will be taking place in our mind so it is there where we can also make preparations.  Mottos, maxims, prayers and quotes that reverberate within us can also serve to bolster us when weakness hits.  Again, these are personal so each one of needs to find something that we can repeatedly bring to mind that will help our thoughts, our spirits and our hearts.

My point in this diatribe is to encourage you to anticipate the worst in yourself.  Do not hold unrealistic expectation of your abilities and motivation.  Humbly admit your weaknesses and failings.  We all suffer from self-doubt and loneliness at different times.  Nobody alive is free from temptation.  However, these darkest hours need not be our downfall if we anticipate and prepare for them.  Take the time today while you are in a good place and your goals are clear and certain.  Work and plan to help yourself to remain on course for your goals when the windy trials and tribulations of life seek to shipwreck you and blow you off course! 

Finding Success

Finding Success 

©2015 Scott D. Wilson

This article is dedicated to the admirable life and great friendship of Dr. Janice McCarthy.
I do not know when exactly but I do know that soon a light will fade from this planet and the universe will be a bit darker. My friend, Doctor Janice McCarthy is in the final stages of her battle with the evil that is cancer. My heart breaks for her husband and children and their unfair loss.


But I am not writing here about loss. I am writing about finding success. I do not know a single person who does not crave success in their life. It is almost a fundamental human drive like hunger, sex, love and acceptance. However, we all seem to achieve varying levels of success in our lives. We all want and dream of success yet few of us are willing to do all that is needed to achieve those goals. I believe that the drive for success is akin to psychologist Abraham Maslow's description of the quest for self-actualization.


I am privileged to have known several successful people in my passage through this weary land of heartaches and broken dreams. Some were wealthy.  Others had meager means. Some were well known and popular. While some live in quiet obscurity. There were those both brilliant and simple. I would imagine that many reading here wonder then how I am defining success.


Earl Nightingale gave the best definition of success that I am aware of to date.  His definition stated that "Success is the progressive realization of a worthy ideal."  In most people's eyes worthy ideals are mainly fame and fortune. I have a much broader view of success yet I would have to say that still only a few obtain it.


My successful few have one common thread: a fearless passion for life. Their legacies are loving families, heartfelt friends, admiring colleagues, grateful neighbours and a general respect from virtually all who knew them. Whatever their circumstance they grabbed life for all it was worth. None of them were victims in their maturity. Their environments did not subdue or define them. They truly overcame the world and themselves.  Oh, they had fears and nightmares but they all learned to face them to persevere beyond them.

My friend Janice is not dying of cancer. She is truly living deeply and fully with the disease. Despite the ravages of the illness she seems more alive now than when we first met. Yes, I see a certain sadness within her but it is not regret.  It is the natural yearning for more. Her smile, her wit, her impish ways, her unconquered spirit burn brightly. Even in the precious last days she still reaches out and counsels her patients. Her abundant generosity has not been stemmed by this vicious disease.  I see in her the unbowed unbroken warrior.  I cannot help but be inspired.


Why is this success?  She has lived this life on her terms. That is one of the noblest ideals that I can envision. The lives she has touched attest to this. Of this I have no doubt. Her family and friends have been given a shining legacy from her. I will miss my friend but I will forever be enriched by my time spent with her.


And so I encourage you, my reader, to look to your own life. Find your own success and commit your life to it. Use the inspirations of lives well lived to find your own noble ideals. Do not narrow success to money or popularity. Define life on your own terms. Dream big and work hard. Love deeply and boldly!  Do not let world extinguish your light. Burn brightly like a shooting star... like my friend Janice.

"To laugh often and love much; to win the respect of intelligent persons and the affection of children; to earn the approbation of honest citizens and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to give of one’s self; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to have played and laughed with enthusiasm and sung with exultation; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived—this is to have succeeded."- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The Language of Your Life

The Language of your Life

©2015 Scott D. Wilson

 

“Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it”  ― Christopher Morley

 

Depending on your view language is either mankind’s greatest invention or its greatest gift.  Language enables us to share and transmit ideas, feelings and experiences in creative ways.  We take it for granted as we use it daily, but language is one of our most powerful tools.  Language has been used to change countless lives and even to forge the events of history itself.  Language is the programming code for our minds.  The way we speak reveals a lot about our upbringing and our background.   Our speech also shows the inner workings of our mind and thoughts.

 

If you close your eyes and imagine then you can likely think of countless examples of speaking patterns that you have encountered throughout your life: 

 

• the clipped speech of a police officer who has pulled you over
• the colourful drawl and homespun words of a rural western American 
• the loud and vibrant language of a passionate evangelical preacher
• the rough profanity-laced dialogue of a hard-living miner
• the carefully measured words of a suit-and-tie executive speaking to the board
• the angry venom of a native New York cabbie who just got cut off by another driver.
• the gentle tones and soft language of a counsellor consoling a grieving spouse
• the serious and grave dialect of criminal judge handing down a severe sentence

 

My point is that words themselves and how they are delivered vary immensely and carry with them more than mere information.  In a sense, we paint a picture with our language.  We study the ancient cave drawings in the hope to understand prehistoric communications.  We know that our development of words literally took the place of those early cave paintings.

 

Yes, we use language to convey ideas, images, feeling and experience.  In essence, we use speech to share a piece of our lives or a moment of our living.  Ah, but allow me to expand the vocabulary of this discussion.  The deaf use words but they convey them through gestures and signs.  The blind read but they must use texture and form.  So communication is not limited to words on page or the oration from our mouths.  Of course we have all heard of body language but that is not really what I am talking about here.

 

I am talking about the very dialogue of our daily living.  Every day we get up and go about living our lives.  How we do this communicates to universe itself and to others.  The vocabulary of our actions speaks volumes to our character and our attitude.  We may quietly whisper our gratitude through the act of prayer and meditation.  We may loudly proclaim our anger and frustration through our surliness or sullen attitude.  We might chat our joy brightly through our beaming smile and happy demeanor.  Perhaps we speak slowly and deliberately with our careful behaviour and cautious nature.  Or perchance we might zip off the quick staccato of our nervousness.

 

What I am saying here is that our behaviour speaks as truly as our words.  Our lives are like that cave wall thousands of years ago.  We paint upon it our communications to others and to the world around us.  I am asking you, reader, to consider what kind of message you are sending with your life.  Is it a deliberate and positive message that others will want to read and understand?  Or possibly are you randomly scrawling on the walls of your lifetime?  Today, you have the chance to become aware of the messages that you have been sending.  Look back and try to read the words that you have been living.  Do they contain hope?  Love? Trust?  Fear?  Bitterness?  Despair?

 

Life is meant to be deliberately lived.  If we intend to succeed we need to look not only at what we are saying to others with our words but also what we are saying with our demeanor, our attitude, our dress, our deportment… our entire lives!  Make sure your whole message is worth hearing!

 

“In the end, we'll all become stories.”  ― Margaret Atwood

Denying Leadership - the Perils

Denying Leadership - the Perils

©2015 Scott D. Wilson

 

Do you want to be successful?  Do you want to be a leader?  If you answered ‘yes’ to the first question then you better have answered ‘yes’ to the second one as well.  “But I don’t want to lead anyone!” you may protest.  My response to you is “Too bad, get used to it!”  I used to be exactly like you.  I thought I could be successful all on my own, away from the crowds and the rest of the world.  I did not want to be a leader.  To be a leader means having followers and to me that seemed like an unnecessary responsibility and hassle.

However, if one is serious about success then one needs to look at what exactly it means to succeed.  Put simply, success at its most basic level is merely setting a goal and through effort, measurably achieving it.  For example, in weight loss, one usually gauges success by achieving a given body weight or fat percentage.  Unless one is losing an insignificant amount of weight then achieving this goal will take significant determination and the effects will be noticeable.  If one succeeds there will be people who have known the individual who will ask about their method and the key to their achievement.  Remember, many people try unsuccessfully to lose weight.  Actually losing weight would put this person in the small group of leaders that has attained the desired goal.

In most worthwhile ventures you will likely seek the help and expertise of others with experience or knowledge that will aid you in your quest.  As a seeker you will understand the need for leaders to help those along the path.  As you gain your own knowledge and experience in any field this will eventually make you a leader in that area. If you have received help it will be natural to want to return this help to those who seek to follow towards the same goal.  This is basic leadership.

Whatever the nature of what you strive for, when you attain your goals people will in all likelihood notice.  Success stands out amid the struggling crowds.  Visible change is generally required to reach our various goals.  Change and difference are noticeable amid this largely mundane world.  Succeeding at virtually anything draws the attention of others.

If success were commonplace then there would be little need for leaders, but real achievement is sufficiently rare that it demands leadership from those who attain their goals.  Even those new to success need to acknowledge their leadership.   Leaders are required… even those who might be inexperienced in success and those who are still avidly learning!  Perfection and mastery are not perquisites for leadership.

If you are proving yourself and making developments in some endeavour then people will start to look to you as an expert in the subject.  Success and leadership go hand in hand.  Denying leadership is to deny success.

This does not mean that we seek leadership to in the hopes of creating success.  Being successful generates leadership but leadership does not necessarily breed success. This does however mean that we should not reject or deny leadership as we win ground in our personal efforts.  We need to become comfortable with others looking up to us and seeking advice or guidance.  This is a natural by-product of achievement.

Though our personal goals may pertain only to our own development and improvement we need to be aware that this can and will alter who we are and how we are perceived by others.  And this is ok.  Being followed is not to be dreaded.  Humbly accept that your own success can fuel and inspire the dreams, hopes and efforts of others.  And if by some odd chance someone uses your guidance to motivate their own success then perchance one day you might paradoxically choose to follow their leadership!

Fill a Need

Fill a Need

©2015 Scott D. Wilson
 

I want to tell you two remarkable stories.  The first story is that of a young intern back in 1991.  Like many of her ilk she works hard and long hours striving to learn all that she can to become a superb physician and ultimately a skilled surgeon.  During this time she is assigned to a critical care ward where she encounters and elderly patient whose illness is very likely terminal.  They chat and find a common bond in their passion for fly fishing.  Their relationship is limited to the regular brief encounters during the young physician’s daily rounds. 
 
One day the doctor notes that the patient’s demeanor is more subdued.  Her inquiry yields a heart-felt statement from the patient.  Tomorrow is his wedding anniversary.  For all of the 60+ years that he has been married he has never missed a wedding anniversary.  But now he is stuck in this bed unable to do anything for his beloved.  Saying nothing our diligent doctor politely takes her leave and moves on.
 
The next day, shortly after the elderly patient’s wife arrives for her regular visit a large bouquet of flowers is delivered to her under her husband’s name.  Our physician hears the joyful tale from her patient later that day.  With a tired smile she goes on her way.
 
My next story is that of another new physician.  However this lady is not so young.  For you see, she was first a nurse for several years before she decided to become a doctor.  This tale begins on a night shift.  A rookie nurse is working the palliative care floor.  The ink is barely dry on her certificate.  Our new physician is also on duty performing rounds when the frantic young nurse stops her in the hall.  An elderly patient is in the last stages of dying.  He has no family to comfort him in his last hours.  He is moaning and begging the young nurse for someone to just hold him.  This is our fledgling nurse’s first encounter with a dying patient.  She desperately looks to our physician for direction.
 
Without a word the fresh doctor quickly walks towards the patient’s room.  Then, to the astonishment of the novice nurse, the doctor careful climbs onto the bed and gently wraps her arms around the dying man.  And there in the room our nurse and doctor remain for several small hours till the old man passes from this world.  The impact on the nurse was significant.  She had never before experienced the likes of such a doctor.
 
Why do I spin these tales for you?  Because they a real, and because I see a lesson of success in their actions.  I am privileged to call the first doctor my sister.  The second wonderful healer is the daughter of my mother’s best friend.  In both cases these wonderful women saw a need and compassionately filled it.  They did not seek glory or recognition.  Indeed I would not know of them had they not been relayed to me by third parties.  Despite their authority and positions they did not feel these tasks were beneath them. 
 
In Disney’s film ‘Robots’ the protagonist falls in love with the catchphrase “See a need. Fill a need.”  The idea is that if we identify a problem then we are in probability also the person most able to develop the solution.  In the film the character’s desire to follow this ideal leads him on the path to success. The two ladies above perfectly lived this creed.  Their examples challenge me.  As I consider the most successful people in business and in life I realize that they too exemplified this truth.  Mother Theresa, Bill Gates, Alexander Graham Bell,  Nicolai Tesla, and others… they all saw needs and successfully filled them.  If we are to succeed in this life then we too should follow this pattern.
 
We all have unique talents and abilities.  We all look around and see this world’s many deficiencies.  Today, instead of hoping that someone else will fix them, perhaps we can turn it around and consider how we might be the necessary person to bless this needy world.  Like my two doctors, may we find our own way to quietly “fill a need.” 

Conserve your energy!

Conserve your energy!
©Scott D. Wilson 2014

Daily we are told that we must conserve our limited resources. We are asked to reduce reuse and recycle. This makes sense. Our physical wealth is finite and once we burn or use it up then it is gone.  If we  are not wasteful then we can make the best use of what we have.

As individuals, the principle of conservation holds equally true. We need to use our assets wisely if we intend to succeed. It only makes sense to carefully apply our energies so that we have the power reach our goals. We are human. Each day grants us only so much time and energy. These are non-renewable. You cannot get back one wasted moment of time. So I urge you to act wisely and conserve your energy now. How can we do this?  Of course, I have some suggestions.

Let go of regrets. Regrets tie us to past failures and mistakes.  Regrets steal our power today and prevent us from moving forward. Regrets force us to look backwards yet they cloud honest reflection and impede us from learning anything constructive from the past.  Free yourself from the tyrant of regrets.  See each regret for the anchor that it is and let it go.

Don't let anxiety rob you of this moment. Of course, we must plan and prepare for the future.  However, our fear and worry do not serve to move us towards the goals that we desire. Anxiety takes our energy right now and uses it to dread possibilities and events that may never occur. See fear for the robber that it is and learn to let go of foolish worries.

Do not waste time and effort trying to control or change others.  This is a waste of your precious resources. Instead, use your time and energy to master self-control. We truly cannot change others nor control their actions.  However, if learn to control ourselves then we improve our ability to help and influence those around us.

Do not let the words of others drain you. If we let take it to heart then criticism can sap us of motivation and satisfaction. Instead, criticism can be used for learning. Listen carefully to critics and look for any truth in their statements.  Don't use that truth as a hammer on your ego, but rather use the information to improve yourself and #ç your strengths and weaknesses. As for the rest of their criticism, reject it and let it go.

Similarly, do not use your own thoughts self-destructively. Do not berate yourself hoping to kick yourself to do better. This does not work and it generally erodes our self-esteem and steals our motivation. Focus the energy of your thoughts on self-improvement instead. Take inventory of your strengths and seek to understand your weaknesses. You can build on your strengths and you can find methods to compensate or mitigate your weaknesses. Use your mind's energy to strive towards your goals. Remain creative, not destructive.

Never permit yourself the extravagance of hatred. Hatred wastes time and emotion on others. Your hatred has absolutely no effect on the person or thing that you detest. They move through life blissful unaware and unaltered by your anger.  There is an old proverb that says "Hatred is like drinking poison and hoping that the other person will die."  Save your energy and selfishly forgive.  Forgiveness frees you from the unhealthy obsession with the object of your venom.  Forgiveness does not mean being a doormat to abusive people or circumstances. It simply means letting go of the pain and then standing up for what is right.

Focus on today and its goals. Stay in this moment. Conserve your energies so that you may attain the success for which you strive. Stop wasting your efforts on regret, anxiety, others, criticism, self-loathing and hatred. Use the time, emotions and energy that you have right now to constructively build the tomorrows that you passionately desire!!

Decide! The Deadly Culture of Indecision

Decide! The Deadly Culture of Indecision
©2015 Scott D. Wilson, P.Eng.

“Only when a decision is made and a commitment to action occurs does any real change ever happen.” –SDW

The successful lead. That is a given fact. One phrase often associated with leadership is "a man of action." There is good rean for this association. Good leaders do not waffle or wait to seek consensus. When a faced with a choice they decide and then take action to follow through. That is how they get results. Success is about getting results. Indecision is crippling to leadership.

We are living in a culture of indecision.  We think that making no decision is safer than making the wrong one.  That is a deadly mistake.  Making the correct decision yields good results and we move on.  Making an incorrect decision yields poor results and we face the opportunity to change course and improve. Making no decision yields something and if that thing is good we try to take credit and if it is poor we hold on to deniability because we didn’t make the decision.  This is the mindset of a victim, not a victor. It is certainly not leadership nor is it conducive to any form of success.  Making no decision is actually making the decision not to decide and that can be deadly.

Imagine if an emergency room physician used such a mindset.  Patients would quickly start dying.  Fear of the wrong decision is not an option.  The doctor must choose and work with the results.  If we are to grow and improve then we face the same scenario.  Fear of the wrong choice is no excuse for not making a decision when one is required.  Indecision denies our power.  Indecision doubts our talents and abilities. Indecision withdraws. Only a decision and the commitment to act on it advances forward.

There is a Zen proverb that goes “When you sit, sit. When you stand, stand. Above all, don't wobble.” In martial arts we call this wobbling state being ‘double-weighted.’  A fighter who is double-weighted is vulnerable because their indecision in the face of an opponent has placed them in an unbalanced condition.  If their weight was on one leg or the other then they could seek to advance or withdraw, attack or defend.  In the double-weighted state they are prone to attack and vulnerable to being toppled.  Our poor fighter needs to decide and act in order to correct his situation. Decision must be linked with the commitment to act for it to be effective. An empty decision is no better than indecision.

Is life advancing on you like an opponent and demanding a decision?  Are there areas of your journey were you are faced with a choice on the path?  Do not let indecision rob you of your victory or stop you dead.  In life’s voyage, sitting down at the cross-roads is not truly an option.  Recognize the need for a choice. Believe in yourself and your wisdom to choose.  Make the decision.  Commit to action. Move forward and grow from the experience.

Know that you are the only one stopping yourself.

Know who you are!

Know who you are!

©2015 Scott D. Wilson

High on the side of Mount Parnassus sits the Temple of Apollo and Oracle of Delphi.  Prominently inscribed on the temple walls are the many Delphic maxim.  Among the most famous of these proverbs by far is this one:

γνῶθι σεαυτόν

In ancient Greek it reads "Gnothi seauton" which translates simply to "Know thyself."  Great philosophers and thinkers through the ages have pondered and expounded upon this aphorism.  It seems like such a trite statement: Know yourself.  I mean honestly, we spend twenty-four hours a day with ourselves from cradle to grave.  One would think that we would get to know ourselves pretty well during that time so why bother advising us all to do so?  Surprising, I do think this is often the case.  It has been my experience that we do not tend to pay attention to the commonplace things in our lives.

Unless we come to the point that we are gasping for breath we rarely pay attention to the air that surrounds us.  Until we have been significantly deprived of nourishment then we seldom truly relish the complete experience of food.  It is only when we lose someone significant that we start to understand the depth and breadth of their impact within all the parts of our lives.  So I purport that we humans have a tendency to take ourselves for granted and that we do not truly understand our own hearts and minds very well.  Oh sure, we all carry around an image of ourselves within us but we are constantly amazed when that image is challenged by our own actions and reactions.  We are quite often our own worst enemies and so many of us are perplexed by this fact.

The great Chinese general and strategist, Sun Tzu well understood this important reality of our situation:

“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle”

In our daily situation the enemy and our self are one and the same thing.  It is no wonder that we struggle so often with ourselves and with others.  Clearly, it is much to our advantage to overcome ourselves and thereby succeed in our lives.  To do this we need to truly understand and know ourselves. This is not an easy goal.  Since we drew breath we have been told who we are by others and we have likewise formed our own opinions over time.  We have great investment in these personas and identities.  We like to believe ourselves kind, generous or wise.  We enjoy such labels as being ‘a good father’, ‘a great friend’ or ‘a considerate lover.’  We have unquestionably accepted many titles on our journey through life, both complimentary and degrading.  And when our behaviour does not match a hard-held belief about ourselves then we experience confusion and frustration.

So we are thus confronted with the ancient adage to know ourselves.  To follow this directive takes action.   We must sincerely make the effort and take the time to get to know ourselves.  One needs sober and honest reflection on one’s own actions and reactions.  We are required to put aside the images that we have of ourselves and the identities that others have given to us.  Only then we can truly and honestly ask ourselves who and what we are.

I challenge you to reflect upon your life so far and the actions that you have taken.  Have you been cruel?  Have you been kind?  Were you thrifty or wasteful?  Gentle or harsh?  Look at your emotions and your thoughts.  Seek to be objective.  Neither defend nor criticize yourself.  Above all, try your utmost to be brutally honest but gentle with yourself.  In all likelihood what you learn will both amaze and terrify you.  You will need to gently accept your faults and humbly accept your virtues for both of these aspects define you in all your uniqueness.  You are both saint and sinner, light and dark.  This is okay.

Many reading here must wonder about the payoff of such efforts.  Self-reflection is often painful when we face dark truths about ourselves.  It can also be rewarding as we take inventory of virtues that we have been denying.  Above all, I believe that learning about ourselves helps us to become more effective and successful in our daily efforts.  We interact better with others when we understand who we truly are and who we are not.

From my own experience, I list here below but a few of the many benefits of following the sage advice to “Know thyself”:

• You are equally immune to flattery and insult.
• You accept yourself and in so doing accept all others as they are.
• You become invulnerable to coercion and corruption because you know what you need and why you need it.
• You see that your worst fears guard the pathways to your most passionate dreams.
• You realize that peace, love and happiness are not destinations.  They are the pathway.
• You understand your connection with your environment and source for all life.
• You develop the awareness that you cannot give without receiving or take without losing. 
• You know that hatred gives energy to the things that you hate and so you selfishly conserve your energy and forgive.
• You see the difference between knowledge and wisdom… and choose wisdom.
• You lose the words I’ll try, I think, I hope and I might.
• You use the words I will, I can, I have, I am, and I shall.
• You see with clarity your own folly, flaws, errors and failures and face them without excuse or self-pity.
• You acknowledge and accept the darkness within your own soul.
• Knowing your own short-comings and imperfections you extend gentleness, kindness and love towards the harsh cruelty, fear and selfishness of others.
• Humbly you accept your talents, gifts and virtues and take responsibility to act on them.
• You become free to love abundantly without restraint or conditions.
• Looking outwards you see this world with new eyes.  Nothing changes and yet everything does!

And lastly, you will be able to follow the last directives written at the Oracle of Delphi…

    Παις ων κοσμιος ισθι – As a child be well-behaved
    Ηβων εγκρατης  – As a youth be self-disciplined
    Μεσος δικαιος  – As of middle-age be just
    Πρεσβυτης ευλογος  – As an old man be sensible
    Τελευτων αλυπος  – On reaching the end be without sorrow

Playing the Game

Playing the Game
®Scott D. Wilson,P.Eng.

"Life is like a game of cards. The hand you are dealt is determinism; the way you play it is free will." -Jawaharlal Nehru

Have you ever had someone say to you "Get your head in the game!"? Well one way to look at life is through the model of a game. You roll the dice. You make your moves. And you have some fun in the playing. Life is full of both joy and tragedy. To focus on either side is folly. Today, I suggest that we get our head in the game.

Genetics, birth circumstances, upbringing, family, geography, and so many more factors, these are the hand that we are dealt. We did not choose the game. The game chose us. Ah, but then we have this thing called 'choice'! We have the power to choose what we will and will not entertain in our lives. We have the power of doing and not doing, being and not being. What we take away can be priceless: experience.

If we pause in our gameplay and reflect on the moves we made, how we played our cards and the outcomes that we achieved then we can begin to see the patterns of cause and effect within ourselves and in others. Results are not random. We are not victims of our circumstances. Our choices have profound effects on ourselves and our world. We can become better gamesmen. Life can be hacked. We can up our game. Wisdom does not come by chance or accident. It is intentional. It is a choice too.

So whether you are on fairway or off in the rough, on the court or on the sidelines planning your next move, remember that you can always choose to look back and learn from how you played so far. There is always chance to learn and improve. Life is always there to teach you the lessons that you need to succeed. Circumstances are not an excuse not to play or improve. Your choices will both empower you and define you. It is the experience that counts so let's make experience that we can count on! Have fun and remember that nobody gets out of this alive so play it all with gusto!

"You have to learn the rules of the game. And then you have to play better than anyone else." -Albert Einstein

Cheers!

P.S. Although life can be considered a game we should be aware that it is not a competitive one against the all the rest of humanity. If played well then everyone should win!!!

Nickelback - When We Stand Together

Walking the Razor's Edge

Walking the Razor

© 2015 Scott D. Wilson,P.Eng.

 

“The pathway to salvation is as narrow and as difficult to walk as a razor's edge.” — W. Somerset Maugham from “The Razor's Edge.”

 

I need to confess, I have a love for a picture that bombed in the theatres back in 1984.  It was a movie starring Bill Murray in an adaption of Somerset Maugham’s “The Razor’s Edge.”  I enjoyed this film and its message when I first saw it back in 1984, and the cinematography is stunning.  I personally believed that it bombed because general audiences wanted to see the standard Bill Murray firing off jokes and making wisecracks.  This is not really that kind of film.  Somerset Maugham delves deeply into the worlds of materialism and spirituality.  To that end I believe that Bill Murray remained quite true to Maugham’s vision.  Unfortunately, a great deal of Maugham’s thoughts and conclusions are quite hard for many people to swallow.

I encourage folks to read Maugham’s book and to see the film.  The Razor’s Edge struggles with the concepts of good and evil, cause and consequence, actions and rewards.  I like the brutally honest answer that the main character delivers in a few short lines:

“When Piedmont died, I had to pay him back for my life. I found out there's another debt to pay — for the privilege of being alive. I thought Sophie was my reward for trying to live a good life. Uh uh. There is no payoff — not now.”

Western thinking, whether spiritual or physical, is frequently unconsciously caught up in the concept of investment and return.  We work hard expecting that effort to pay off.  Those who pursue spiritual matters usually expect to be rewarded with peace of mind and life with less conflict and strife.  We are always expecting the scales to balance in our lifetime.  Reality is far less predictable and reliable.  And so we alternately enjoy and suffer with the dualities of pleasure, pain, toil and reward, love and fear.  As Maugham’s character so aptly puts it, there is not necessarily a “payoff  — not now.”

This thought disappoints most of us.  If we make sacrifices now and try our best to be ‘good’ then there needs to be a reward, now, in this life.  While this may frequently be true it is certainly not a guarantee and we should realize this fact.  Additionally, we are mostly oblivious to the underlying selfishness of this expectation.  Many noble people did what was right and correct and it cost them everything, including their lives.  They were not expecting to reap the rewards of their actions.  They did not do right because it was of benefit to themselves.  They chose to act correctly because doing right transcends time and space.  Doing right serves something far greater than give and take, action and reward. These brave folks were aware that their actions would resonate out beyond their own personal existence into the future and onward towards eternity.

I can see how this thought may distress many people.  Justice seems cheated.  Those who reap do not seem to sow.  Similarly, this is offensive to rationalistic materialists enjoyment of science’s premise of cause and effect.  Meanwhile, spiritualists will generally take comfort in the belief of an afterlife for their rewards. I do not seek to clear this matter for either point of view.  Currently none can truly know with certainty what may or may not transcend their lifespan.  

I would hope that those with a rational scientific mindset would allow their egos to ebb and perform the mental calculations to see that doing right without personal reward can serve the future and their fellow man.  And the spiritualists should likewise let go of the mindset that is entitled to compensation.  I would not like to meet my Creator with the selfish expectation that my righteousness was motivated solely for my own benefit, avoiding punishment or to gain reward.  

When good happens were should rejoice and enjoy it.  When ill befalls this world we should mourn and take actions against it.  As long as time flies forward, both good and evil will remain temporary states.  My original quote comes from a monk seeking to caution Maugham’s main character.  Another wise One once similarly warned that “…it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the Kingdom of God!” The wealthy are most heavily invested in the concept of investment and return, and so they become robbed of an eternal perspective.

Life has taught me that it is of great importance to do what is good but it is of far greater importance to sincerely do it for the correct reasons.  Look neither for reward nor punishment.  Choose to do what is correct regardless of the outcome.  Free from the fear of penalties and the lure of compensation, if we do not get caught up in our own ego we might find that walking the razor’s edge to salvation is just that much easier. 

Why are you here?

Why are you here?

©2015 Scott D. Wilson,P.Eng.

 

Seriously, why are you here?  What is the point of your travels in this outer spiral arm of a Galaxy we call the Milky Way?  Sure, you were born here but that is mere circumstance.  Why do continue this ongoing adventure?  Are you like singer in the old Peggy Lee song “Is that all there is?” who is just hanging in because they simply don’t want to face the final disappointment of death?  Do you breathe out of habit or do you savour every miraculous heartbeat and every taste of life-sustaining air?

I see so many, day in and day out, struggling with addictions, bad habits, weight, and so much more.  The common factor for so many of them is the need for motivation and the will to follow through.  I may be wrong but I see that a large part of their problem is that they lack meaningful purpose in their life.  They simply do not know why they are here.  It is as if they expect to wake up one day from this tired existence and start living their real lives – the lives they were meant to be living.  This may in fact be partially true.

I can see why the Eastern religions and mysticism seek ‘enlightenment’ and ‘awakening.’  Like Neo in ‘The Matrix’ they want to see reality as it truly is and realize that their true identity is not what they have accepted since birth.  They want to awaken and see their true selves and those of the people and creations around them.  This is a noble quest.  It sets a foundation and provides a perspective for all that we are and all that we do.  For until you begin to truly understand yourself and start to know why you are here then you will continually struggle with motivation and willpower for all other pursuits.

For example, if you do not have a core purpose for living then what does it matter if you are thin or fat, healthy or sick, sane or crazy, wise or foolish?  Finding a purpose for life is not purely a spiritual pursuit.  Atheists are not immune to the need for a purposeful existence.  The only difference is the basis for the rational understanding of their unique purpose.

You are a combination of a rather unique set of 3.2 billion base pairs of DNA.  Scientifically and spiritually, you shall not pass this way again.  Even a clone will technically not be you, as it would be constrained to experience a completely different time and set of circumstances.   You belong here… to this time and place.  Accept that the universe has placed you where and when you are.  Whether it be the forces of evolution and circumstance or by divine intent, you came to be here today.

Accepting your place within time and space will allow you to look clearly at yourself and ask what role are you suited to play in the portion that has been allotted to you.  What are your talents?  What are your passions and interests?  What makes you come alive?  If these things are taking a back seat in your life then I suggest that you look at your priorities.  Because if you are not doing the things that bring enjoyment, meaning and fulfillment to your life then you won’t find much motivation to do all the other things that would otherwise bring health and other benefits to your existence.

Do not look to others to find out why you exist.  Their truths and meanings may have no bearing on you whatsoever.  Look inside and learn.  Look outside and see the possibilities, not the limitations.  Trust that you have been provided with a rational mind that can discover your own unique reasonable purpose.  Do not accept the realities that others have provided for you; they can limit your ability to see and understand.  When you are confused by life allow yourself to be puzzled and to ask “Why?”  Allow for awe and wonder. 

If you are having difficulties finding some kind of motivation I suggest that you put aside that struggle for now and instead ask yourself “Who am I?” Quietly allow the infinite number of answers to come to you.  Some will resonate more than others.  Dwell on those for they will help you to discover who you are and why you are here.  It will be a process.  Just as one does not go one day from a classroom to the pilot seat of an aircraft so too will the learning about yourself take gentle time and patience.  

I encourage you to discover your own reason for your existence.  From that answer will spring the ability and motivation for so much more.  Howard Thurman put it so eloquently:

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” 

I ask again, “Why are you here?”  I have provided some perspective and advice for one to begin to find an answer to this question.  Now I lastly ask, are you brave enough to try? 

Wonderlust

Wonderlust

©Scott D. Wilson 2015

I have said elsewhere that I was blessed to have found a friend that I can call my mentor. The times we have spent together have been golden and I have been forever enriched. One statement that my friend is fond of repeating is "Read it again for the first time."  It is a wonderful paradox, and it has been the source of so many incredible personal revelations. 

The Zen Buddhists and Japanese martial artists seek a state of mind called 'shoshin' meaning the "beginners's mind."  It refers to an attitude and view marked by eagerness, openness and without prejudice or preconception. This is the way an avid novice approaches a new activity or subject of study. It is a view full of limitless possibilities.

As we grow and experience life we accumulate knowledge and wisdom.  By necessity, we often must accept much of what comes to us as it is presented. We rarely question interpretations or understanding. For these reasons we also tend to accumulate prejudices and preconceptions. We believe that we are becoming experts about life and reality.

We think that we hold *the* truth.  By believing this error and accepting much of what others have told us we ironically grow in ignorance and folly.  We gradually lose our questioning mind and attitude. We similarly become more and more defensive of our views and truths because anything that contradicts them threatens our understanding and reveals our possible ignorance and error. Fear displaces wonder. 

There are other consequences. Sadly, we become increasingly jaded by life. It all becomes "Been there. Done that."  We lose the sense of amazement and excitement that children have when they experience something for the first time. It is this 'wonder' that is lacking so much in the lives of so many! We rob ourselves of the joy of learning.

The Zen folks have another term they use in conjunction with 'shoshin.' It is the phrase "new eyes."  They, like my mentor, encourage us to look at life again... for the first time. There is so much that we miss in this world because we do not indulge our natural sense of wonder and curiosity. I have discovered so much by simply pensively questioning my own views and the 'truths' of those who moulded my life... to again ask "Why?" and to ponder the possibilities.

And so I currently lust to regain much of my childlike sense of wonder!  I yearn to see this universe with new eyes. I seek to discover what I thought I knew. It is not always comfortable. That I will admit. It is often humbling, realizing how little I truly know and understand. I can tell you that it has been worth it though! You will find some irrefutable and unquestionable truths that will lead you on paths of amazement and discovery.  And thus I similarly encourage you all in your own wonderlust!

An Impoverished Mind

An Impoverished Mind

©Scott Wilson 2015

 

North America is by all measures a country of prosperity and abundance. Food is plentiful and inexpensive. Economical energy sources of all types abound. Our land is rife with natural resources. For centuries North America has been labelled "the Land of Opportunity." Modern living affords us more leisure time and more entertainments than any of our forefathers could have ever hoped to obtain. Indeed, compared with much of the rest of the world we are living amidst luxury, wealth and opulence.

 

Why then does it seem that most of us tend to think in terms of deficit? Our society is rife with individuals who feel that they do not have enough money, or possessions, or time. Rare is the man or woman who considers themself to be rich. Our attention is drawn towards that which seems to be missing instead of that which we have already received and currently possess. It would appear that our hearts and minds are truly impoverished. Advertisers profit from this thinking, pointing out how we need their products to genuinely fulfill us.

 

Perhaps we inherited this thinking from our parents and grandparents who suffered through the Great Depression. They were the first generation on this continent to experience a serious lack of abundance. Their fears seem to have given rise to the general angst and longing that pervades our present culture. As the speed and reach of our communications has become instant and global mankind has begun to sense its limitations. We wonder and worry that our lonely planet may not have the energy and resources to allow our continued prosperity.

 

I believe it would benefit us to question this pervasive mindset of poverty. By all reckoning this universe appears to be vast and infinite. There is no reason to believe that mankind cannot continue to advance and improve our use of the unending energy and materials that surround us. In addition to this physical view we would also benefit by questioning the relative importance of material wealth in our life journeys.

 

In my studies of successful people I have found various commonalities of outlook and thought.  One common factor that I have noticed about those whom we deem successful is that they tend to think in terms of abundance, not deficit.  They see opportunity everywhere, even in their failures!  Motivational writer and instructor Earl Nightingale described this abundant thinking best with these words “Don’t concern yourself with the money. Be of service. Build. Work. Dream. Create. Do this and you’ll find that there is no limit to the prosperity and abundance that will come to you.”  To those with a winning mindset, the world is rich with success; all they have to do is persevere to obtain it. Successful people live and act as is there is always enough for everyone and that they have but to claim their share.

 

The prosperous build growth upon growth, strength upon strength.  They see and understand weakness and loss but these are not their primary focus.  These positive people remain doggedly fixed on their objectives. As that old Frank Sinatra’s song goes, they have ‘high hopes.’  It is this outlook that we should seek for ourselves if we too wish to partake of similar successes in our own lives.

 

Look at your goals and objectives.  Are you lacking cash, time, resources, information, experience or anything else that you need to obtain what you envision?  Do not let these become anchors and barriers to you.  Look at what you *do* have and build upon it.  See the areas of success in your own life and amplify them.  Understand that the universe is filled with resources that can become yours to command if you allow yourself to see the very real opportunities that surround you.  If you truly seek to succeed then you need to lose your impoverished mind!

“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.” –Winston Churchill

"Some people are so poor, all they have is money." –Patrick Meagher

Buddha on a Bike

 

Buddha on a Bike

©2015 Scott D. Wilson, P.Eng.

 

I am always looking for trends and common threads among successful people. Lately, I have noticed that very many successful people admit to various practices of mediation or mindfulness. The billionaire founder of Bridgewater Associates, Ray Dalio went so far as to say “Meditation more than anything in my life was the biggest ingredient of whatever success I've had.” That is quite an endorsement! There have been countless studies on meditation and here are just a few of positive effects of meditation:

• Reduction in stress and a better ability to handle stressors
• Improved brain functions
• Increased productivity in high performance situations
• Reduction in the symptoms of anxiety and depression
• Improved ability to fight disease and to maintain health
• Better-quality sleep
• Longer attention span and stronger ability to focus
• Increased metabolism and assists in weight loss (Yes, weight loss – through the increase in mitochondria!!)
• Greater level of creativity

These are just a small sampling of the benefits of meditative practices.

Now if you are like me then when you hear the words mindfulness and meditation you suddenly get a vision of a long-haired old hermit with a flowing beard seated at the top of a mountain. The reality is that nothing could be further from the truth. In the 60’s the Beatles introduced eastern transcendental meditation into mainstream western culture. Since then we have tended to focus on the various forms of seated meditation from the ancient Ascetics to Zen monks. Fortunately, seated or static meditation is but one form of mindful exercises.

For me, the thought of sitting for a prolonged period without movement with the aim of clearing my mind and my thoughts is right up there with listening to fingers raking down a chalkboard. I am in no way dissing this means of contemplation. There is a time and a place for such practice and it is better suited for some people and less so for others. If these work for you then I encourage you to continue.

Others like me have been discouraged with many of the transcendental techniques. Fortunately, there are alternatives and I wish to increase awareness of them. Some of you may know that there are techniques known as moving meditation. By far the most popular is the practice of Tai Chi. Many martial arts employ moving meditations. For example, Karate employs various moving exercises called katas. Yes, these routines are a form of practicing the offensive and defensive techniques. They are also excellent forms of moving meditation.

Anyone who has sought to master a Tai Chi form or a martial art kata knows that you start out thinking your way through them and your mind jabbers as it seeks to remember and follow the movements. However, as you become more adept your mind stills as your focus on your arms, legs, breathing and so much more absorbs your entire attention. For folks like me this is a marvelous form of meditation – moving outside and still inside.

“But I don’t like martial arts and Tai Chi just isn’t for me!” you object. Guess what? Martial arts do not have the lock on this form of mindfulness. Ask a marathon runner or any other serious athlete and they will tell you that when they hit their stride that there are moments of peacefulness and stillness as all they hear is their blood pounding and the rhythm of their limbs. Do you have to be a professional athlete? Not from my experience. I have discovered that my meditation often occurs atop the pedals of my bicycle.

Sure, I start out just thinking about my day as I get started pedaling down my driveway. The mind is a persistent beast and it wants to go over all the various concerns of the day ahead. Eventually, as I drive my bike harder either in silence or while listening to music then the thoughts slowly quiet. There is just me and my bike connected to the road, the trees, the grass, the dew, the sunshine and the entire universe.

So am I saying that you must become a Buddha on a bike? No, but you must find an exercise that you can use for at least ten minutes that will afford you some quiet contemplation. I have found such moments of meditation in Tai Chi Chuan, running, biking, skiing, walking quietly and even while washing dishes. The key is to immerse yourself in the activity. Give it your whole attention. When you are performing your activity perform it to your best. Pay attention to details. Pay attention to your movement, to your limbs, to your breath, to your heartbeat, to you surroundings (smells, sights, physical sensations, noises and even tastes). If possible, don’t linger on one thing. However, it is perfectly ok to get lost in something. The moments of quiet clarity will come and go – do not be discouraged. Practice diligently and through repetition and improving skill you will eventually find the still part of your mind.    

So when you hear the benefits of meditation do not sigh longingly and despair at the thought of a sore posterior and nodding off in a temple. Instead, get up, get moving and find the mindfulness activity that will allow you your own brand of meditation! Let us follow the many successful leaders along the quiet and gentle mind’s path to our goals!  

Losing Your (Punitive) Mind

Losing Your (Punitive) Mind
©2015 Scott D. Wilson, P.Eng.

No team ever won the Super Bowl with a coach who only criticized and punished their players. No Olympian ever grabbed the gold because they were driven by the fear of defeat and condemnation. Why then do so many of us think we can succeed by effectively using these same methods with ourselves? Frequently folks act like they can mentally beat themselves into submission. Whether it is our steps towards success in our careers or improving our health, it seems that a lot folks think that using an inner drill sergeant will somehow create the discipline that they seek in their lives.

Perhaps it is the ‘drill sergeant’ mythology from films like “Officer and a Gentleman” that has created this belief within us. Such films paint the picture of an antagonistic and harsh character who teaches the film’s hero the value of discipline, honour and self-sacrifice. While there is a time and place for the harsh treatment of a marine drill sergeant, I believe that most of us take these actions out of context.

Punishment is used to move us away from something; psychologists refer to punishment as negative reinforcement. However, punishment does not serve well to move us towards a goal. The harshness of the classic drill sergeant is used to break down independence because self-reliance in a war will get a person and their team killed. It is a drill sergeant’s job to take undisciplined and self-centered young people and form them into a strong healthy supportive team so they can rely on each other and survive under the harsh circumstances of war. The vicious words and actions of the sergeant have little to do with coaching the success of individuals. These severe actions are aimed to discourage individuality and encourage teamwork and interdependence. As individuals, using this method on ourselves to reach our goals will generally lead to discouragement and desperation.

Scientists in the field of Human Performance have long studied the best means for managing and improving behaviour. The results of their studies are clear: the use of positive reinforcements should far outweigh any negatives ones or punishments. Sports psychologists and researchers have determined that 80-90% of all coaching should involve positive reinforcement. Why then do so many people seem to feel that they can whip themselves into shape? From what I can see, it simply appears to be an erroneous belief that is a common part of our culture. It seems something akin to an ‘old wive’s tale.’

If we seek to succeed then it is clear that we must shed our unhealthy punitive mindset. In the study of performance improvement the best way to develop better actions is to reinforce desirable behaviours by applying positive reinforcement. Positive reinforcements are best termed as ‘rewards.’ Anything can be used for positive reinforcement: praise, incentives, money, gifts, actions, social status, et cetera. Rewards are very personal and need to be tailored to specific individuals. If we are seeking to motivate ourselves then we must find meaningful ways to reward ourselves when we take constructive actions towards our goals. Furthermore behavioural theorists have shown that the sooner a reward can be applied to a desired behavior the higher the chance that the individual will repeat this behaviour.

For example, a person who is seeking to lose weight might want to focus on the goal of logging food. Every time they complete a food log after a meal the person could reward themselves by having a chart that they tick off that will lead to a specific reward. Every time the person logs their food they will be visually rewarded by seeing that they are approaching a tangible goal. This method provides both an immediate and a long term goal.

So in short, we need to silence out inner drill sergeants. When we fail we need to quiet our self-criticism and practice gentle self-acceptance. We are not accepting our errors nor condoning our poor behaviour. We are merely acknowledging that we are human and not yet where we want to be. We are giving ourselves permission to make mistakes and learn from them. Next, we need to find out what acts as a reward for us and use it regularly to reinforce our positive choices and actions. If we follow this plan we can finally lose our minds… our punitive minds!

A Flash of No-Regret

A Flash of No-Regret
©2015 Scott D. Wilson,P.Eng.

Despite the best of intentions through most of our life, most of us carry some regret. Today, I was given an incredible gift. Before I simply blurt it out I should offer some context.

From Friday evening until Saturday's setting sun is my time of rest. I do my best to spend this time with family and friends in rest, recreation and leisure. Sure, I putter around the house doing chores and repairs but these are labours of love, not my livelihood.

And so today I was chatting with my two adult children and watching old music videos from the 80's. It was during one such video that I was transported back briefly and for one flickering moment I was 17 year-old Scott. I wore his clothes, his shoes, his hair. I saw the choices of his life before him. I saw the beauty by his side who would one day become his bride. And then in a brief moment I rushed forward through my life until I was back sitting in my kitchen with my kids.

In that short ephemeral vision I passed through all my choices in life. I saw my victories, my defeats, my successes and my failures. I experienced all my choices again - both the 'good' and the 'bad'. And I realized that all my actions brought me to this simple time of pleasure with my eldest son and daughter. Right now, everything is pretty well ok. So how could and of those choices been all that bad?

In that instant I had great empathy for all those Scotts of the past. I saw the choices they made with the knowledge, wisdom and experience that life had afforded them. They were good men doing their best with what they had. I do not know if words can convey the love and compassion that I was suddenly able to feel towards my past selves.  I understood how foolish it was to regret past 'mistakes' or 'poor' choices. To change those choices would lead to a now that I might believe would have been better but truth be told, it could easily have been far worse. Perchance the choices that would have made me rich back then would have left me miserable now. Who is to say?

We do not know now how the choices we make today will play out. We seek actions to bring about the best consequences but nothing is guaranteed. Soren Kierkegaard once said "Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards."  It is with understanding that we must release regret.

Regret only robs our present moments of joy and peace. Regret has no value in helping us to move forward towards our goals. Regret makes us harshly judge our past choices and it paralyzes our present ones. If you are one who struggles with regrets then realize today how futile it is. Your past 'errors' may be responsible for some of the best things in your present. Have compassion for your past selves. Forgive them. And with that in your heart and mind root yourself here and now and bravely face the future that your next choices will create!!