Overcoming The Enemy in the Mirror

Overcoming The Enemy in the Mirror

“If you do not conquer self, you will be conquered by self.”
–Napoleon Hill

If I were only able to impart one brief idea to the world then I think the one above might just be it. As I watch people milling about living their lives as best that they can, I see one universal struggle: people fighting with themselves. Whether these people seek to get ahead, escape from life situations, discover meaning and purpose, achieve weight loss or whatever, their greatest struggles are rarely with their circumstances and the world at large but rather with themselves.

Even those who are disciplined and regimented seem to labour with this matter. Many who seem successful in general still seem to find comeuppance in some area of their lives. Meanwhile, the temptation is quite strong for each of us to externalize the various problems that plague our existence…

-If I had his or her connections then I’d have a better job.

-If I liked vegetable more I’d still have a good body.

-If I had their skills then I could be paid to do that.

-If I lived there then I would have it made.

-If I were lucky then I’d take those chances.

The issue is always our body, our workplace, our society, our situation, our family, our kids, our spouse, our friends and so on, ad nauseam. Heaven forbid that heart of the problem may well lie within our very own heart and soul. That would be unthinkable! Our mantra and fantasy is “Once everything and everyone else changes to what I want then I can finally succeed and be happy.” We remain perplexed by those who just seem to navigate this life with ease and accomplishment. Clearly, they must be special.

I know of no easy cure to this point of view and I believe it to be fatal. If it sounds familiar, this is also the addict’s mindset. A full blown addict sees all their problems as external and themselves as a victim. A struggling addict grudgingly admits they might have a problem but they are always waiting for certain circumstances to allow them to change and overcome them. However, unless an addict slams headlong into his or her problems and is forced to see the cause within then they will never have a chance to recover. Even this realization is only the first step in a life-long battle to overcome themselves.

So if we see ourselves as the problem then the question becomes, “How do we prevail in this struggle with ourselves?” Realizing that you have an enemy and that the enemy is within is one thing. Preventing that enemy for overcoming us again and again is quite another matter. Carved on the ancient temple at the Oracle of Delphi are the words “Know thyself.” The wisdom of these words has been recognized for centuries. We are not just a mere intellectual mind and consciousness bobbing along through the universe trapped within a meat cage. That view is simplistic at best.

We are a complex mix of conscious and unconscious reactions, emotions and perceptions. We are creatures of both emotion and thought, mind and body. What we do to our body affects our faculties to think, and what and how we think likewise affects our bodies. To truly know oneself is to understand one’s very heart and soul, the darkness and the light, our nobility and our cowardice… and to truly accept them.

The universe impartially accepts us as we are and has accordingly assigned consequences to teach us about ourselves and our actions. It is the ultimate training program, tailored to respond to our every action. The results we get teach us about ourselves, each other and this incredible time and place in which we live. The problems start for each of us when we want to control the training regime itself and the results that it is giving us.

We literally want to manipulate reality and its principles. We want wealth without work. We want fame without understanding the needs of others. We want fitness without effort. We want love and understanding without offering unconditional acceptance towards others and without confronting our own deeply personal fears. We want our hearts to submit to our minds without acknowledging our soul’s very real and significant needs and desires. Reality keeps responding otherwise and we continue to rage against it.

Like the addicts, we will continue to frustrate ourselves if we see all our problems outside ourselves. The desire to bend existence to meet our expectations will continually generate great grief and exasperation. It is the disharmony between our mind and the enemy in the mirror that sabotages all our efforts inside and outside ourselves.

As Napoleon Hill stated we must conquer our self or we will be conquered by our self. Yet too many would wrongly read this as the mind conquers and controls the body and the emotions by brute force and willpower. That is the rationalistic view. Yet mankind is NOT rational. Mankind is emotional. Before rational thinking, before concepts, before words we each experienced life through perceptions and emotions. That is our base or core operating system.

For our minds to succeed in directing our hearts our minds must begin to learn to think and operate at that primal emotional level. Taoist philosophers and martial artist speak of defeating enemies before they exist. Someone who makes no enemies is indeed a very successful martial artist. This truth exists both within and without. The mind does not overcome our spirit by raw willpower and opposition. Our emotions are patient. They will wait until our rational mind is weakened, tired and inattentive and then they will strike and overcome it.

Instead, we must use our minds to understand that emotions do not grow in vacuums. If we awaken our awareness to our bodies and our heart then they will tell us what frightens them and what they love. The wise mind then uses our loves and passions to fuel constructive behaviours and actions. Only a heart and spirit that is well fed, cared for and secure will gladly and willingly cooperate with logical mind.

It is possible to know ourselves – both our emotions and our thoughts. It is possible to minimize the struggling with ourselves. There are many paths towards that end if we seek them. For some it is meditation. For others it is mindfulness. Some require focused activities like yoga or tai chi. Some read and then quietly contemplate. Still others use prayer. The key is to find out what works for you to get in touch with your inner workings.

Our unconscious or non-verbal selves can communicate with us but we need to create the circumstances that allow them to be heard by our ever-babbling brains. We need to invest time in ourselves to better understand our own personal spiritual, emotional, social, physical and intellectual needs. Fears and worries will dog us and thwart our logical goals if we do not face them, understand them and overcome them.

If you struggle finding a path for yourself then look to those who are graceful and harmonious in their lives. These people have discovered how to peacefully unite their hearts and their minds. They do what they want and they want what they do. Content with themselves they continually strive to improve and grow. They understand their own foolish thoughts and actions and the foolish ideas and actions of others. They express compassion towards themselves and to all those around them. Listening and aware, they properly feed their hearts as well as their minds. They are at peace internally and externally. Seek out such people and their wisdom, as they have subdued their selves and with this new ally they boldly and successfully face their fears and undertake to build their dreams.

When you find your life and your goals and plans are frustrated resist the temptation to blame the world. Gently accept your role in creating your circumstances. Become teachable and let the universe impart to you its often difficult and painful lessons. Find the path to understanding the emotional and non-verbal sides to yourself. Discipline your mind to listen to your body and your spirit. Learn to meet all your personal needs. Discover the ways to harmonize your mind with its internal and external environments. Then will you be able to successfully conquer yourself and overcome your adversary in the mirror by transforming them into a comrade.

©2017 Scott D. Wilson

Find Your Greatness

•••••Find Your Greatness•••••

What I am about to share with you is a bit personal. It comes from words that I shared with a wonderful young man with whom I am very close and he allowed me to share it with you. I wanted to impart some advice as he began his independent adulthood.  Yet this advice is equally beneficial anyone from from ten to one hundred seeking a successful life. And so, I offer these same words to all of you...

As I consider now what advice I might offer you, I think back to my own youth and wonder what sage words I could have said to myself then. I think this is the best guidance that I can give you:  Find your greatness.  I believe that each one of us has the seeds of greatness within us.  We all have talents and abilities that are unique to us.  These are things that we can do well and we can place our own unique mark upon them.

A great cook may cook the same meals that countless other cooks create but no one else on the planet can cook those same foods the exact same way that he or she could.  Our great cook will add his own exclusive character to his chosen work.  And when a great chef works his labour will be easy, not because the effort is not great but because they know in their heart and in their mind that what they are doing is the essence of their greatness.  They will be fueled by purpose and understanding.

That should be your quest.  Find your own unique greatness.  Find the work that is not work.  Find your passion.  Find the joy in this challenging arduous journey. Find the area where you can excel and bring your distinct value to the world.  That will be your gift of gratitude in return for the incredible life that you have been given.

Do not be deceived; greatness can be found everywhere.  It is not solely the domain of the rich, learned, mighty or powerful.  If anything, those people will find their greatness hindered by the myriad distractions of their stations in life.  Know this: there is indeed greatness amongst even the very least of our society.  Rich, poor, old, young, working or retired... all can reach their own greatness. 

In the movie ‘Chariots of Fire’ the character Eric Liddell makes a profound statement about greatness:

"I believe God made me for a purpose, but he also made me fast. And when I run I feel His pleasure."

Eric’s life was more than just running.  He had a profession and a calling that he likely pursued with the same enthusiasm.  Yet he knew that he was skillful at running.  This was an important part of his unique greatness.  When he followed this path with heart he felt the pleasure of his Creator.  He knew in both his spirit and mind that he was doing what he should be doing.

Eric had likely wrestled with doubts and uncertainty.  He may even have believed himself unworthy and unable.  In the end, life gave him enough clear evidence to assure him that this was the right direction for him to follow.  He understood that this was part of his service to God.

Thus I again repeat my encouragement that you find your greatness.  Don’t ever give up.  Do not settle.  Don’t let others tell you what is great and what is not.  Discover this for yourself.  Follow the paths of truth and wisdom to where they lead.  Overcome your fears and press on. Remember that your greatest enemy is in the mirror and they whisper lies in your ear when you are at your weakest.  Be brave and strong and true.  Learn who you are and who you are not. It will not be easy.  It will be worth it. Believe in yourself and know that greatness awaits you.

©2017 S.D.Wilson

The Greatest Power

The Greatest Power

“How far that little candle throws his beams! So shines a good deed in a weary world.” -William Shakespeare, The Merchant of Venice

As an engineer and scientist, I have studied power. Gravitational, nuclear, electrical, chemical, thermal and magnetic forces are just a few of the many cosmic elements of power in the material realm. Science defines power as force acting upon objects to do work. And so it is in mankind’s societies and culture. Worldly power is the ability to influence people to do things.

In science, work is force applied over a distance. Another way of looking at that is to say that work is power applied to make changes in the state of physical objects. Thermal power applied to a pot of water makes it boil. Electrical power applied to a motor makes it turn. The power of an idea applied to people’s lives can change their actions and the very nature of their existence.

It has been my experience that the greatest power in the universe is the power to change a single life. Obviously, this power can be both wisely used or foolishly abused. A harsh cruel word can cripple a soul. A kind act or even a simple smile can soothe a wounded spirit. If we use the power of our choices and actions wisely we can alter the course of a life for the better, and like a droplet of water upon a still pool the effects can radiate outwards into the world touching countless other people and their existences.

Truly, the power to change a single life has an unimaginable impact on the universe. We can never know the extent of the effect across time and space. No one is an island. One life touches so many others throughout bot time and space. With our limited viewpoint all we can personally see is the one existence that we may have changed. Yet our simplest actions could yield effects across many lives and generations.

The question arises: Knowing this now, how does one choose to act upon it? You personally have the greatest unimaginable power to change a single life: your own! Many thoughts will enter your mind today. Will you entertain the positive, constructive and loving ones, or will you dwell upon the dark, fearful and destructive ones? Will you treat yourself with kindness, gentleness and respect, or will you allow yourself to act carelessly inflicting harm to your body, mind or spirit? Will your actions today foster feelings of belonging, joy and peace or will they lead to the poisonous emotions of envy, greed, bitterness and anger.

Many seem to crave power in the hopes to use it to work a change of state in their outer lives. Oddly, these same folks usually fail to use their existing power where it will have the greatest impact working change upon the state of their inner existence. If you truly want the power to shine light upon this marvelous yet weary world in which we live then do it wisely starting with a single life: your own. Begin your good deeds within, that they may then shine forth into all the world through every life that you encounter.

©2017 S.D.Wilson

What if…

What if… 

“Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” –Thomas A. Edison

These are some very haunting words. The line between succeeding and failing is truly razor thin. I sometimes get goose bumps when I reflectively consider the possible impact upon our world had some of our greatest pioneers and people given up when they encountered opposition, adversity or a pressure to conform. Imagine a world under the following conditions:

What if… Arthur and Kate Keller had followed common practice in the late 1800’s and placed their deaf and blind daughter in institutional care?

What if… in 1890 Marie Curie had accepted the Polish prohibition of women from university education, never joining the clandestine Flying University?

What if… Steve Job had cut his losses in 1986 after having been kicked out of Apple and NeXT Inc. was on the ropes, never looking at Pixar?

What if… Isaac Newton had listened to his mother and remained a farmer?

What if… J.K. Rowling had given up writing while struggling on welfare?

What if… Walt Disney had believed the editor in 1919 who fired him because he “lacked imagination and had no good ideas.”

I could list countless examples like these. Each of these people had moments where they could have stopped following their dreams or given up on themselves. No one would have condemned them. Everyone would have understood. History would have simply rolled on without them. It chills me further to realize that there likely are some minds and hearts like these that have already quit and deprived us of their amazing innovations and ideas. We likely will never know what we have lost.

What does Edison’s warning say about us and our own efforts when we consider quitting? How close are we to finding success? Is that last failure our breaking point or the one just before our breakthrough? Is there a mother lode of triumph buried inside us just beneath that last stinging defeat? If we give up then we will never truly know. Our own greatness may not shine brightly before the world like that of the people I listed above. Yet it would remain an equally great tragedy for any of us to live our lives with our noblest potential undiscovered, undeveloped and unachieved.

In this life when it comes to our own success, it is always too early to quit and never too late to get up and keep going.


©2017 S.D.Wilson

Can, Do and Will

•••••Can, Do and Will•••••

This morning I woke up with an idea in my head that I could not shake.  Who we choose to listen to and the ideas that we consider and adopt make all the difference in the world.  I have followed some bad advice and wasted my efforts on some poor ideas in my time!  Likewise, I have been blessed by some wise people and been given some sage instruction.  In time, I have become much better at discerning the difference between wisdom and folly, or at least I hope so.

So I then considered how I might help others to avoid some of my foolish paths and instead choose more advantageous counsel.  I wondered if there were a good litmus test that I could conceive of which could then be applied to the many words of the people around us who seek to offer us direction on the matters of our life and our dreams.  Is there a good way to carefully consider the statements of others?  From my brief morning reflection on my life experiences, I devised the following:

“Do not heed the words of those who can’t, won’t or don’t.
Listen to advice of those who can, will and do!”

When it comes to following dreams and making our goals into reality we are best served by the thoughts, observations and advice of those whose lives embody the words ‘can,’ ‘will’ and ‘do.’ Can – exemplifies optimist and belief.  Will – shows both willingness and intention.  Do – demonstrates taking decisive constructive action.  It is those people who have had the greatest positive impact on my life!  On the negative side, it has always been the ones who couldn’t, wouldn’t and didn’t whose ideas and opinions resulted in the poorest outcomes for me.

So there it is in a nutshell: two sentences that I believe will serve us well in filtering the worthiness of the advice that is thrown at us daily.  On a similar note, I hope that my own advice here and the life that I strive to live ultimately passes the same test!

Cheers!

©2017 Scott D. Wilson

Perfect Imperfection

●●●Perfect Imperfection●●●

“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.” ―Albert Einstein

The wise person realizes that we can only ever know an infinitesimally small percentage of the vast reality which surrounds us and we can understand even less. In that awareness of the universe the wise one knows how ignorant and foolish he or she truly is.  Meanwhile, the average person generally misguidedly accepts his or her limited understanding for reality itself and finds frustration when that understanding is challenged.

Einstein was correct, human ignorance or stupidity is infinite.  We can never possibly hope to grasp a complete understanding of all that exists everywhere in this unending universe.  Likewise, one man or woman within their limited lifespan can only hope to master and comprehend of a miniscule fraction of all that can be experienced and understood.  Even among our chosen fields of expertise we can never sit down and proclaim our perfection of any ability.

I graduated as an electrical engineer in 1990 and yet I never expect to be the perfect electrical engineer.  I got married in 1991 and still I doubt that I will ever be a perfect husband.  I have been writing for decades and I highly doubt that I will ever perfect my craft.  Yet many keep striving day in and day out to “get it right.”  Whether it is their career, family matters, financial success, weight loss or other worthy pursuits, so many people long for the day when everything just clicks into place.

Our lives simply do not work that way.  It is not about finding the perfect spouse, the perfect job, the perfect parenting method, the perfect diet and exercise or the perfect life.  When we choose this viewpoint then the goalposts will always be moving and we will find ourselves constantly dissatisfied and disappointed.  Our ideals will torture and haunt us instead of spurring us on to improve.  We never learn to celebrate improvements because they fall short of our ultimate expectation.  Goals become drudgery and dreams become nightmares.

This thinking is so commonplace that a great many people feel trapped, desperate and demotivated.  It is no wonder that many quit their goals.  Understandably, a wiser gentler path is not apparent to them.  And so I hope that my words act as a kind of map that helps you to find this different side-street.  There is joy in discovering a way that realizes that perfection is process, not a destination.  One can discover peace of mind on a trail that rejoices in each step forward, no matter how small.  Life can follow a journey where dreams and goals shine brightly before us, leading us on a winding and adventurous pathway.  We can follow road that has abandoned getting it right and embraced getting it better.

If you are one who finds themselves hoping for their life to just start working perfectly one day, please consider that your very desire is causing you grief.  Entertain the idea that personal progress is a better means to keep one motivated and moving forwards.  Use your ideals wisely and you can find perfect contentment amidst imperfection when you come to realize:

“Life is not about getting it right.Life is about getting it better.” –Me

Cheers!
©2017 Scott D. Wilson

Deadly Words

•••••Deadly Words•••••

“For all sad words of tongue and pen, The saddest are these, 'It might have been'.” - John Greenleaf Whittier

I am a storyteller and a peddler of words. I know that words and how we use them have tremendous power. The right words at the correct time can spell the difference between victory and defeat, success and failure or even life and death. I agree with Mr. Whittier that "It might have been." are truly among the saddest of words. They are the eulogy for a dream.

However, before one can get to a point of such regret it would be necessary to exhaust one's opportunities. Dreams do not expire overnight. If the possibility still exists there would be no need for such lament. Only when an opportunity is completely passed will a dream die.

As we travel through life we all have dreams. We have dreams about what we will be, who we will make a life with, the family we will create or even fame and fortune. Some are naive, like the fantasies of children to become princesses and knights. Others evolve over time like our education and career paths. Meanwhile other ambitions develop out of necessity, like health and fitness needs.

All our dreams are important. They bring us hope and focus our energy and efforts. Aspirations and our efforts to achieve them bring us life and vitality. If a dream is worthwhile then we should never lightly abandon it. It is our worthwhile goals that will haunt us when we fail to follow them. These are the ones that become "It might have been."

In my own travels I have discovered two deadly words that are dream killers. We use these words to excuse ourselves and to blame our circumstances. They make us feel less guilty when we surrender our goals. These words soothe our lack of faith in ourselves. What are these lethal words? They are: I'm trying.

They seem so harmless, so benign. Make no mistake, those words spell the demise of your dreams. If someone asks you about your dream and you reply with "I'm trying such and such and this and that." then beware, you are courting regret. Trying is weak. It implies lack of commitment, responsibility and control. Trying is just waiting for the universe to swoop in and crush our hopes.

When we try then we are leaving room for the word 'but'. I'm trying to lose weight *but* I have plateaued. I'm trying to get promoted *but* no one is giving me the opportunity. 'Trying' and 'but' always seem to be paired. When it comes to dreams and goals they are a fatal pair.

There is a simple way to change your thinking and avoid these deadly words. Simply pay attention to your use of the devilish duo. When they are on your lips, stop and instead say what you are actually doing rather than what you are attempting. Talk about the concrete steps that you are actually making towards your goals. Don't talk about trying to write a book. Talk about what you have written, what you are writing and the publishers that you've approached. Don't talk about trying to lose weight. Talk about the good habits you have started, learning to count calories or the physical activities that you've begun.

Take responsibility for your dream. Make it happen one step at a time. Of course you can't control all the variables in life, but that doesn't mean you merely try to pursue a goal. You break it down into actions that you can do. Deal with variables one by one as they arise. Remind yourself of what you are doing, not what you are trying.

Don't abdicate a dream to luck, chance or fate. It will haunt you. If it is a worthy dream then it is worth the action and commitment. You will never regret time spent on a worthwhile goal, even if it may never fully realized. Your honest progress will be rewarding. While a lack of effort for such a dream will ignite justified remorse.

Give your mind and heart a better outlook by banning the killer 'I'm trying...' from your vocabulary. Protect your dreams from these poisonous words that subtly sabotage your thinking.

©2017 S.D.Wilson

The Gain Within Pain

_____The Gain Within Pain____

“Every problem or difficulty you face contains the seed of an equal or greater advantage or benefit.” –Napoleon Hill

Maybe I am odd but I got used to this viewpoint when I was young.  Yes, there may be exceptions.  Yet the vast majority of the time I have found that our troubles hold the beginnings of our greatness, the nuclei of our success.

Think of the caterpillar.  Great energy and effort go into the creation of a cocoon or chrysalis.  The creature goes from daily foraging, eating and avoiding predators to spending weeks cooped up and inactive as the painfully slow processes of metamorphosis take place.  If it has thoughts does it grow impatient day by day?

Ah, but all that work and waiting one day results in a complete transformation.  In one final struggle and momentous effort, our earthbound worm frees itself from its bonds to finally take flight.   We cannot know the thoughts, if any, of a caterpillar.  Nonetheless, it is clear that process that transforms an awkward worm into an elegant butterfly or a moth involves sweat and difficulty.  Yet that labour is the beginning of greatness for the creature as it leaves behind its former limitations.

What are you facing today?  Is a slow tedious process teaching you patience?  Is a difficult and stressful situation instructing you on perseverance?  Is an interaction with a harsh and difficult person coaching you on tolerance and kindness?   Is exhaustion and despair showing you the need to say ‘no’ others and to address your own welfare?  Look at your struggles.  They are not merely curses and deficits.  If you stay open to possibilities then you will see within your trials the buds of possible metamorphosis.  If you let it, your patient overcoming of a situation can literally transform you to soar beyond your current existence and expectations.

©2017 Scott D. Wilson

Breaking Free of Your Thoughts

–Breaking Free of Your Thoughts–

“You will never be free until you free yourself from the prison of your own false thoughts.” –Philip Arnold

In the TV series “House M.D.” the main character’s tagline and principle philosophy is “Everyone lies.” It is cynical but unfortunately also largely true. However, like Dr. House, we often focus on the external lies that we tell others. The reality is that before we lie to others we first and foremost lie to ourselves. It is with those false thoughts, one by one, that our personal prison walls are built:

- I’m not pretty enough
- Others can. I can’t.
- I’m not smart enough
- They are special. I’m not.
- I’m not smart enough
- I just have bad luck.

We wall ourselves in making our world smaller and smaller. Our meager expectations become our limits. Creativity is for the artistic and the talented. Invention and innovation are for the gifted and the bright. Our fears solidify into concrete barriers that we never dare to test. Risks become the things that the lucky and the special people take, not us. Safety becomes our prime directive, and there we remain safe and sterile. Change is both dangerous and uncomfortable and to be avoided.

Sure, most of us decorate our cells with all the many comforts of life and we dream that are truly free while all the while our minds yearn to think free and follow the passions of our hearts. Make no mistakes, the prison bars are there in our thinking and our fears guard the doors to freedom. If we truly want real liberty then we must begin to challenge our own beliefs about ourselves. When we reach an apparent limit and we hear our thoughts screaming “I can’t” or “I’m not” that is when we must stop and confront our own words and thinking. I am not exaggerating when I tell you that your freedom may lie just beyond “I cannot” and “I am not.”

Professional athletes know that the barrier between better and best is not physical, but mental. They must humble themselves mentally by admitting that they may not know the true boundary of their bodily abilities. Skill and talent take one so far but to achieve our utmost our minds need to be free enough to believe beyond the limits that we perceive. I know that we are not all called to challenge our physical bodies to the same degree as skilled runner or a prima ballerina. However, we all have the same ability dream and imagine and to drive our own abilities further.

Our minds are powerful devices and truly without limits. We can conceive the most marvelous and amazing things. In my lifetime many miracles have been achieved through science and technology that most thought would be impossible. In days gone by many learned people argued that man would never fly, and now we not only tour the globe but we blast into the depths of outer space. If the brilliant minds of the past were wrong about mankind’s limitations then could you be in error about your own?

If you truly desire real freedom then start with your mind. If you are not following your dreams or achieving your goals then take some time to look at your reasoning and excuses. Pay attention to those “cannots” and “are nots.” When you hit one of your believed limits then stop and take some time to deal with it. Write it down if you need to do so. Now imagine if that limit did not exist. Dream about the ways around your problem. Let your mind wander and wonder.

Earl Nightingale, the great self-improvement pioneer, encouraged people set aside time daily to look at their dreams and their challenges. He reasoned that this discipline would engage our hearts and minds to create the pathways to our solutions and our dreams. The goal would remain fresh in our conscious and unconscious thoughts and innovative possibilities would arise and come to mind. This is true as long as these ideas don't get caught and tangled in our false thinking.

If we truly want the freedom to grow, change and succeed then we need to liberate our minds. We need to address and question our limiting thoughts. Daily, bring your goals to mind and allow yourself the time regularly to dream and create new solutions. Break your heart and mind out of your prison of false thoughts and set them free overcome the fears and illusions that once limited them!

“Your mind can be either your prison or your palace. What you make it is yours to decide” ―Bernard Kelvin Clive

Cheers!
©2017 S.D. Wilson

Are you offensive? Yes, good!

Are you offensive?  Yes, good!

By Scott Wilson

“Action Offends the Inactive” –Chris Shugart

I have covered an aspect of this subject once before using the analogy from the film ‘the Matrix’ and becoming unplugged.  However, my focus was more about projecting our own expectations upon others than about their reactions towards us.  I would like to cover here something that surprises so many people who seek to make improvements in their lives.

If you have set a goal and you are visibly putting in the effort daily to achieve that goal then I have news for you:  You are offensive to many of those around you.   Yes, you heard me.  You are a thorn in the side of some of your friends, family and acquaintances.  You are going against the flow.  Who do you think you are?  What makes you think that YOU deserve something better than everyone else?  What makes you special?

Sure, the people that you know may not actually make these statements but their words and actions will reflect the sentiment.  A colleague will make sideways comments about your improvement efforts.  A loved one will subtly discourage you from proceeding with your commitment to better yourself.  There will be some strong push from peers to go along and conform to the norm.  It surprises many people that the ones that are closest to them are often the source of their worst discouragement and temptations to quit.

You see, if you are successful in your efforts then others who see you will ask themselves “Why can’t I do what he or she did?” That is a very uncomfortable question.  If you can improve and succeed then that means that they will need to take responsibility for any lack of success and improvement in their own lives.  You are and they aren’t.  In effect, you actions are pointing an accusing finger at their inaction and that is offensive.

Most people want to live relatively comfortable lives free from blame and responsibility.  They are where they because that is where everyone is and that is okay.  Their environment is responsible for all that they have or do not have.  They merely react in response to what is around them.  They did not ask to be born into the life that they are living.  They are simply doing the best with what they have.  Only the special, the lucky, the fortunate and the blessed get anything different.  Good and bad happen by chance and so they are content to be in the middle above the poor and suffering but also below the few prosperous and successful.  Average is just fine for them.

There is nothing wrong with this.  Living a passive life is quite acceptable and billions do it successfully every single day.  Most of the services and systems of our society are geared towards the average person and so this quiet acceptance is encouraged.  However, if anyone wants to leave this comfortable middle ground their efforts are questioned by those around them.  Why unnecessarily risk failure?

Another reason for people’s negative reactions towards you will be fear and resistance to change.  People like to label things.  It makes life easier.  Much of our identities are tied to the labels that have defined us.  Change upsets that.  For example, if you have always been conservative and down to earth and suddenly you start behaving in an excessive and risky manner this will confuse people.  So it is also when we seek to improve.  It will evoke fear to those closest to you.  They will wonder if they truly know you.  They may be concerned that this new and improved version of you may not want to be with them anymore.  They will then act and speak out of this anxiety either consciously or unconsciously.

Whether it is a poor reflection upon themselves or a fear of your changes, those who know you best can be expected to be a source of difficulty for you when you start following a dream or pursuing a goal. This is normal. Accept that you have become offensive to them through no fault of your own.  Don’t be hurt by their comments or actions.  It is a reflection of their own insecurities.  In truth, their responses have very little to do with you.  Instead, take such poor behaviour as proof that you are going in the right direction.  Use such potentially discouraging incidents as fuel to keep you moving on the better path.

Cheers!

©2017 Scott D. Wilson

Losing Fear and Finding Passion

Losing Fear and Finding Passion

By S.D. Wilson

“When your passion and purpose is greater than your fears and excuses, you will find a way.” –Unknown

Ever have something that you really wanted to do?  May be it was a martial art and you were willing to be an awkward novice until you could one day become a graceful master.  Perchance it was a musical instrument where you were prepared to play some sour notes on the way to being able produce a tune that moved people’s souls.  Whatever it was is not important.  The point is that you were willing to be imperfect or even poor at doing something knowing that you would someday become better at it.  You followed your passion and did not stop the first time that you stumbled or struggled to make progress.  Your passion and purpose were greater than your fears and excuses.

Why then do we forget this in so many of our important daily endeavours?  For example, we start exercising and eating better to lose weight.  We are gaining control over ourselves and our behaviours with food and activity.  We want fitness and health.  Then something happens and we are not progressing like we expected.  We are angry at our bodies and ourselves.  We start looking for excuses to quit.   How about when start a new business or attempt a new enterprise in our lobs or careers?  We seem to follow this same pattern and recipe for disappointment.

Many of us seem to suffer attention deficit syndrome when it comes to patiently working towards our goals.  I’ve seen it time and time again in myself and in others. We lose our passion, or worse, we start off dispassionately.  We start something because it is logical and because it seems to be the correct thing to do.  We think that this will be reason enough to keep doing it.  We leave our hearts at the door and expect the mind and body to do all the work.  We are then perplexed when our emotions rise up in protest at being forced into a corner.

You may not need passion to succeed at keeping your teeth clean but I doubt that you will encounter many disappointments or setbacks on the way to grabbing your toothbrush.  The bigger goals in life like health, lifestyle, career, family and such are fraught with discouraging situations and obstacles.  We need our passions to work with us when life throws us curve balls.  I encourage the creation of good habits and routines to minimize our efforts and to lessen our reliance on motivation.  However, when our fears come calling there is only one weapon that can help us overcome them and that is our purpose and our zeal.

With any significant goals there come equally significant fears.  There are great fears of failure, loss, the unknown and change. These fears must be balanced and the opposite of fear is not bravery.  It’s love or passion or zeal.  Fear and anxiety always drive us away from something.  Love and passion always draw us towards something.  Passion and purpose move us to find ways to overcome our fears and obstacles.  It is up to each of us to find our own purpose and drive; otherwise our fears will inevitably sabotage our goals.

So you have set some lofty goals and now the rubber has hit the road.  You have taken action to make your desires into reality.  If this is truly your passion then you have counted the cost and you have already anticipated that difficulty and fear will stand in your way.  Your resolve will be unbending.  Though the path may not be as straight and easy going as you’d like nonetheless you will continue until you have mastered yourself and your objective!  If your heart is not attuned to this quest then the eventual troubles will inevitably derail you.  A person divided within themself cannot stand when opposition occurs; this is a basic principle of combat.  Both your mind and heart need to align for success.

Find your passion!  Find a reason to get out of bed every day beyond the mere need for survival.  You were created to thrive, not to simply survive!  Find the one real thing that makes you feel alive.  Dig deep!  Beware, this may take some time and effort, trial and error.  You may think that you have found an objective or drive only to find that it has waned or changed.  That is okay.  Be patient and keep seeking! Do not be discouraged.  This is a prize worth finding! Success can hinge on your efforts. 

After you have discovered your true passion then everything else can be built upon it: health, family, friends, fame and fortune.  Why should I be fit?  Because your purpose requires it!  Why should I be financially prosperous?  Because that serves your passion! You will know that you have found your passion when a day spent serving it will feel successful no matter the cost and effort and any day that passes without furthering your cause will feel empty no matter how you otherwise benefitted. Once you know your passion and purpose then you will find a way past all your fears and excuses and that way will lead to success!

©2017 S.D. Wilson

Seeking Change

Seeking Change
By S.D. Wilson

"What is necessary to change a person is to change his awareness of himself."  ― Abraham H. Maslow

So you want to be successful?  You need to change and improve things in your life?  Anyone who has ventured down this path knows that self-improvement is difficult.  Changing habits and behaviours that we have lived with up to now often proves challenging.  Abraham Maslow knew this too, as he had studied many people who were successful in changing themselves.  He realized that when embarking on personal change that one of the first things we must change is our awareness of ourselves. 

Each of us walks around with an image of ourselves in our heads.  This image has formed over time and it is an accumulation of views that were given to us by family, friends and society as we grew up.  In addition to their views we have formed our own ideas about ourselves based on life experience in general.  Unfortunately, all of these views have a measure of error in them.  Unless they are significantly challenged then we treat these images as if they were fact.  It reminds me of the words of American philosopher William James:

"Whenever two people meet, there are really six people present. There is each man as he sees himself, each man as the other person sees him, and each man as he really is." 

James used the image of two people meeting to illustrate the difficulties of interacting with our world based on erroneous perceptions of ourselves and others.  This is the root the trouble when we seek self-improvement.  Who is it that we are changing?  How do they think?  How do they feel?  What makes them tick?  If our answers to these questions contain errors and assumptions then our efforts will meet with frustration and ultimately failure.  

You cannot change what you do not understand.  Most of us do not understand ourselves very well. We are somewhat unconscious or unaware of our own make-up.  We have emotions but we do not understand them.  We have thoughts but we do not know what to do with them.  We perceive things and we do not comprehend them and their context.  It is no wonder that most spiritual practices pursue enlightenment, awakening, wisdom, illumination or transcendence.   So valuable is this understanding of oneself and one's environment that people have used every method imaginable to obtain it:  mediation, contemplation, exercise, physical deprivation, dangerous exertion, long journeys, psychedelic drugs, tests of pain and endurance and much more.

Many would mock these people for their efforts.  They would question the payout of their labours.  Yet the value of any success has spurred many people onward in these pursuits for thousands of years.  To succeed in a better understanding of ourselves makes the task of self-improvement so much simpler.  To know who we are and who we are not is powerful.   To understand our strengths and weaknesses, our virtues and our vices, allows one to see and avoid many pitfalls.  By changing our awareness of ourselves we are able to focus our energies where they are most effective and we are less prone to being blindsided.

When you realize that you are naturally impatient then it does not surprise or upset you when you catch yourself being impatient; you can laugh and say "Hello, old friend." When you recognize that you deeply enjoy helping others then you can craft your life so that it fulfills this pleasure more often.  When you come to understand that you respond to boredom and fatigue by seeking the comfort of foods then you can learn to address these stresses with healthier options.  You can uncover your fears and face them.  You can discover your true joys and pursue them.  In short, if your self-awareness changes then you are able to truly make positive changes in yourself.

So if you are seeking improvement and change in your life don't neglect yourself.  Know that changing your self-awareness will make your path to improvement smoother.  Pay attention to your heart, your emotions, your thoughts and your senses.  They will teach you more about yourself than about the people and things that surround you.  Invest the time to get better acquainted with yourself by whatever means work best for you.  Walk, sit, meditate, dance, pray, laugh, sing. find your personal classroom of self-discovery.  Take heed of the wise observations of a man who studied successful people and change how you look at that person on the mirror before you embark on a project to change them.

"One can choose to go back toward safety or forward toward growth. Growth must be chosen again and again; fear must be overcome again and again." ― Abraham H. Maslow

©2017 Scott D. Wilson

Critics for Breakfast

Critics for Breakfast

 “There is only one way to avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing and be nothing.” –Aristotle

Criticism, it comes from many sources:  friends, family, strangers and even ourselves.  Rarely a day goes by where I do not see posts on here where someone has not been stung in some way by a judgmental thought.  Noble Aristotle makes a very wise point here.  We seem to face criticism for what we do, what we say, what think and what we are.   So we can avoid criticism.  We can largely avoid the slings and arrows of our fellow man and woman: do nothing, say nothing and be nothing. They can’t critique a target that isn’t there.

Or we can accept that there is a cost to becoming something more than we are today.  We can acknowledge that there will always be a source of disparaging thoughts and comments that will be sent in our way as long as we strive for to be better.  We can understand that everyone who advanced was met with detractors and naysayers.  We can know in our hearts and our spirits that mere negative words will be part of the price that we gladly pay to become far more than nothing! Then turn the negatives around with your resolve. Let their “No, you can’t.” be the fuel for your “Oh yes, I can!”

Here’s to a day filled with our potential, bring on the critics…I’m hungry!

©2017 S.D. Wilson

A Sense of Health

“REMEMBER THIS:  You can TASTE, TOUCH, SMELL, FEEL and SEE what fitness and good health is like.  No number on a scale will ever give you that!” –S.D. Wilson

Losing Your Fat Mind

Losing Your Fat Mind

By Scott D. Wilson

“No diet will remove all the fat from your body because the brain is entirely fat. Without a brain you might look good, but all you could do is run for public office.”

–Covert Bailey

I work on a web site that helps people to change their lifestyles in order to lose weight and keep it off.  One of the biggest mistakes that I see people making there every day is this:

They believe that losing a pound equals losing a pound of fat AND gaining a pound means gaining a pound of fat.

This is just plain WRONG and it is a self-defeating way to think. We are complex creatures. It would be so nice if our bodies immediately counted every calorie eaten and every calorie burned through living and activities and then either sent out messages to the fat cells to shrink or grow. We want that level of control over ourselves. Unfortunately, it does not simply work that way.

First off, the number that we see on our scales is composed of our bodies' fluids, bones, muscles, tissues, organs and fat. In an ideal world our bones, fluids, muscles and tissues would be in perfect unchanging equilibrium and only our fat would fluctuate based on our eating and activity. Alas, this is not so. All of these things that are NOT fat are subject to change for many many reasons.

Intense workouts can result in heavier muscles, not just from growth, but from fluid build-up as the muscles repair themselves. Likewise, both muscle and bone mass can deteriorate if our food intake is too restricted. These non-fat elements fluctuate naturally throughout the day, month and week. They are affected by our foods, our activities, our environment, our hormonal cycles, our sleep patterns and many other factors. Unlike fat, calories are not generally a factor for these pieces of us and we need to accept that we do not have the power or control to keep their weight stable all the time.

Next, our bodies are not waiting with baited breath to turn food into fat or to in turn take fat and turn it into energy for activities. Many and various processes take place between the consumption of food and its disposal.  Also, food is not purely fuel, it is also the building blocks for replacement cell like skin, hair, muscle, blood, etc.  When starting weight loss it is good to focus purely on learning about calories, however eventually it will be wise to also look at the quality and type of foods that we eat. Salty foods cause retention of water and fluids and this can result in significant spikes on the scale. Different foods are all digested differently and this means that their effects can vary both in the generation of fat but also in their effect on the mass of all our other body parts.

Finally, it should be noted that each of us has both a unique metabolism that is the result of our past lifestyle and our genetics. Consequently, it is possible that merely counting calories can reach stages where weight loss will slow or stall for prolonged periods because we are eating foods that are not working well with our bodies or we are not choosing activities that optimal for our physiques. We may need to tweak and experiment with various elements of our eating to see the effect they have on our weight.

Like food, activity and exercise have different components. Endurance, or aerobic, activities increase your breathing and heart rate; these are the activities most associated with weight loss. Strength and anaerobic exercises make your muscles stronger; stronger muscles also burn more energy and thus improve weight loss. Balance exercises improve your agility and stability, and flexibility exercises stretch your muscles and can help your body stay limber. In truth, our life activities should have a variety of all the exercise components. It is up to each of us to determine what that will look like and what works for us as individuals.

Change your thinking and your focus when you step on the scale. Lose your fat mind. Whether the numbers move up down or stay the same, breathe easy and know that it is composed of many elements, not just fat. Fat is actually in the minority, even in the obese. Remind yourself that all you bones, fluids, tissues, organs, and yes, fat make up that number. You generally cannot take complete control over all these parts. Some of them will fluctuate beyond your control.

If you are confident in your logging of food and exercise then use the number on the scale merely as a variable that helps you to adjust your efforts and your lifestyle. Know and remember that if you are earnestly choosing to take control of your eating and your activeness then you are already winning despite what the scales says.

“It's true, the scale can only give you a numerical reflection of your relationship with gravity. That’s it. It cannot measure beauty, talent, purpose, life force, possibility, strength, or love. Don't give the scale more power than it has earned. Take note of the number, then get off the scale and live your life. You are beautiful!” ―Steve Maraboli

©2017S.D.Wilson

Shedding Disbelief

Shedding Disbelief

By Scott Wilson

 

“Close your eyes and imagine the best version of you possible.That’s who you are, let go of any part of you that doesn’t believe it.” –Chris Assaad

 

Virtually every successful person that I have ever studied operated by the principle in the words above.  They had a vision for themselves and who they intended to become.  Every day they would wake up and bring to mind a vision of the person into which they planned to transform themselves.  Yes, they might not be there yet.  Yes, there may still be a long way to go.  However, they used this vision to direct their actions, decisions and interactions so that they would keep moving closer to that version of themselves.

They could see themselves at the endpoint.  The envisioned how they would be and behave in that successful state.  They acted as is if they were already there. These people needed to let go of the parts of themselves that did not harmonize with their planned goal for who they were becoming.  They needed to believe in themselves.  I imagine that this belief was the truly the heart of their battles more so than any of the external struggles that they faced.

No matter what our goals may be, the difficulties that we face in the real world will pale in comparison to the battles waged inside of us.  We love to blame external factors for our troubles.  Our friends, families, colleagues and people in general thwart our efforts to reach our goals.  Circumstances beyond our control turn against us without warning.  Even our own bodies and health can betray us.  However, if we are truly honest with ourselves then in the end we will see that these are just mere excuses.

They are excuses to give up on ourselves and our dreams.  

They are the siren song of mediocrity and disillusion.  So many say “Life handed me crappy cards so I am just going to fold.” They actually die long before death takes them.  So many who succeeded before us overcame life situations that would make our lives look luxurious in comparison.  They did not succeed because they were lucky or blessed or special.  They overcame because they chose to continue believing in themselves.  They fought hard and stopped disbelieving themselves.  They fought hard against their own excuses.

If you see a successful person today I guarantee that they succeeded in their heart and their mind long before they overcame all the difficulties that you and I can see.  They practiced the words of Chris Assaad.  If we are serious about pursuing our own dreams then we too must work to shed the disbelieving parts of ourselves.  We must see our excuses for the deadly and dangerous things that they are and let them go.  Let us instead imagine that best version of ourselves and start believing and being it.

Cheers!

P.S.  As I read this quote and write this, I confess, I am struggling it.  I want to be the best version of myself.  I want that vision to be my core.  As much as my head can agree with this, my emotions are brutally fighting it and they are strong.  Yet fight I will!  If I can wrestle with these demons then so can you!  William Ross Wallace said “Every man dies.  Not everyone really lives.” I don’t know about you but I intend to LIVE before I die!

 

Huzzah!

©2017S.D.Wilson

Successful Mistakes

Successful Mistakes

By Scott Wilson

“Don’t be too hard on yourself.There are plenty of people willing to do that for you.Love yourself and be proud of everything that you do.Even mistakes mean you’re trying.”  –Susan Gale

There is really not much that needs to go with these words.  The first part addresses something that I see all too frequently.  We truly are our own worst enemy.  Many folks are so quick to flog and beat themselves up over various mistakes and failings.  They do to themselves what they would never allow someone to do to another.

From personal experience I think that most people believe that if they are harsh enough on themselves that they will change and take a better path.  Sadly, this behaviour generally has the exact opposite effect.  We scar our egos and shred our self-esteem and then we feel even less able to overcome the difficulties that assail us.  Instead, we need to accept our mistakes and genuinely use them to learn about ourselves and our weak spots.  It’s ok to have flaws and weaknesses.  All they are is opportunities to learn, grow and improve.  Like the wise Zig Ziglar once said:

“Make failure your teacher, not your undertaker.”

The second part of Gale’s quote is so equally important.  It is a bookend to the first, don’t be too hard on yourself and love yourself and be proud of your efforts, capped off with “mistakes mean you’re trying.”  I’d amend that statement to “mistakes mean that you are doing!”  You aren’t thinking about your goals, you are doing something about them!!!  Mistakes mean that you working, putting in the sweat equity, and learning what works and what doesn’t work.  That is progress in and of itself, and it is worth celebrating!

Now go back to the top and read Susan Gale’s words again. Burn them into you spirit for this week.  Make them a shining beacon of encouragement as you move forward into the challenges that stand between you and your goals!

“The master has failed more times than the beginner has even tried.” ―Stephen McCranie

©2017 S.D. Wilson

What Are You Waiting For?

What Are You Waiting For?

“I will act now. I will act now. I will act now.

Henceforth, I will repeat these words

each hour, each day, every day,

until the words become

as much a habit as my breathing,

and the action which follows becomes

as instinctive as the blinking of my eyelids.

With these words I can condition my mind

to perform every action necessary

for my success.I will act now.” – Og Mandino

Tomorrow, it is the curse of mankind. Tomorrow is a thief – a con man! We foolishly give it our dreams, our goals and our hopes, and it gives us nothing in return. We always think the cheque is in the mail. We always naïvely believe that tomorrow will come and bring us our reward. A better day is always on the horizon. Instead, today we receive the bills for the unpaid efforts of yesterday. It is far too easy to live in the mediocre satisfaction of today. We need to become uncomfortable now!

In our discomfort we can see what we are sowing. We can know the results before they come. We can choose a different path before the road that we are on becomes a one-way street. We can beat tomorrow by winning the game today! We can stop putting off what we know is needed. We can stop thinking and start doing. Tomorrow will enlist fear to stand in our way… to block our path with visions of failure and disaster. It will soothe us with the luring promise that circumstances might be more favorable later.

Plug your ears against its numbing siren song! Face fear head on! Arm yourself with your passions and your love. Pick up the sword of self-esteem and cut a path forward through the underbrush of procrastination one small stroke at a time. Health will be yours! Success will be yours! Prosperity will be yours! Life will be yours! Take back the hopes and dreams from tomorrow and start building them today. Act now.

Are you waiting for tomorrow to deliver on its promises?  Don’t be fooled; stop waiting for the scam artist. Instead, spend your precious time wisely.  Heed the victory call, “Act now. Act now. Act NOW!”  Become impatient. Squeeze the best out of today. Drain this moment of all its potential. Act like tomorrow may never come. Chase all regrets from today.

What are you waiting for? The time for in action and waiting has passed.  If you truly want success then the time to act is now.  If you want results then you need to make their cause happen at this time.  Make this day your day.  Let us abandon tomorrow and its empty promises. No more accidents.  Live your life on purpose.  Know that all you crave lies behind your fears – so face them with ferocity! Lay hold of your birthright… your authentic self and a genuine life!

Huzzah!
©2017 Scott D. Wilson

What if I?

What if I?

One unremarkable day
In an unremarkable year
In an unremarkable place
In an unremarkable house
That an unremarkable person
Did a remarkable thing
He wondered “What if I?”
And he didn’t stop.
It made all the difference in the world.

What if I can do more?
What if I have something unique to offer the world?
What if I *can* change?
What if I can let go of my past and begin something new and different?
What if I forgive myself and others?
What if I can overcome my circumstances?
What if I believed in myself?
What if I can be better today than I was yesterday?
What if I no longer wait for the right time?
What if I have failed but I am not truly a failure?
What if I stop making excuses?
What if I quit looking at obstacles and start seeking opportunities?
What if I accept myself as I am right now?
What if I face my fears?
What if I follow love?
What if I begin working on my dream?
What if I start NOW?

And then they DID!
They changed their world...
And then they changed ours!!

©2016 SD Wilson

The *Real* Secret

The *Real* Secret

By Scott D. Wilson

magical thinking:  irrational belief that one can bring about a circumstance or event by thinking about it or wishing for it; normal in preschool children, it also occurs in schizophrenia. (Farlex Partner Medical Dictionary © Farlex 2012)

There is a mindset in circulation these days that preys upon the weak and the vulnerable in our society.  It plays upon the hopes and dreams of those who seek to improve their lives.  It has many names; “The Secret” and “The Law of Attraction” are but a few.  They all make the premise that wishful thinking and a positive attitude are all that it needed to bring about prosperity and success in one’s life.  They all peddle books and videos that are designed to help people develop the right thinking and emotions.  Here are a few quotes from “The Secret” that illustrate the errors I am talking about:

“Ask once, believe you have received, and all you have to do to receive is feel good.” 

“Your wealth is waiting for you in the invisible, and to bring it into the visible, think wealth!” 

“Food cannot cause you to put on weight, unless you think it can.”

Plain and simple, these statements are prime examples of magical thinking that will bring about disappointment and disillusionment.  Reality, such as food, does not truly bend to the power of our minds.  What is genuinely sad is that these mindsets are all filled with half-truths that have been exaggerated into outright lies.  Controlling our thinking is important.  Controlling our thinking does affect what we have and what we become.  However, the process is not magical, nor does it involve any mystical laws or principles.  In 1977 a fellow named Frank Outlaw outlined the process quite well:

“Watch your thoughts, they become words; watch your words, they become actions; watch your actions, they become habits; watch your habits, they become character; watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”

 What we think about affects our attitude, actions and habits that ultimately become out character.  Our actions, attitude and character are viewed by others and thereby significantly affect the outcome of our lives.  This has nothing to do with simply thinking positively and remaining grateful and then expecting the universe to deliver everything on a silver platter.  We must control our thoughts because they generate attitude and actions that affect all that we interact with around us, and there is nothing magical or spiritual about that fact.

Earl Nightingale created an audio recording in 1956 called “The Strangest Secret.”  The recording sold over a million copies, making it the first spoken-word recording to achieve Gold Record status.  It is now public domain so one can find copies of it all over the internet.  Below is a link to a transcript of the recording:

http://www.nightingale.com/articles/the-strangest-secret/

In reading it one can clearly see that its ideas are the basis for the fad video and book “The Secret.”  Unfortunately, the latter has depleted all the value from Nightingale’s work and replaced it with irrational and vacuous claims.  If you want to know the *real* secret, Nightingale states it quite clearly:

“We must control our thinking. The same rule that can lead people to lives of success, wealth, happiness, and all the things they ever dreamed of and that very same law can lead them into the gutter. It’s all in how they use it … for good or for bad. That is The Strangest Secret!”

And he further clearly explains exactly how this principle works, through goals:

“The difference is goals. People with goals succeed because they know where they’re going. It’s that simple. Failures, on the other hand, believe that their lives are shaped by circumstances … by things that happen to them … by exterior forces.”

Nightingale also clearly outlines the mundane yet simple principle by which people become wealthy:

“Your success will always be measured by the quality and quantity of service you render. Most people will tell you that they want to make money, without understanding this law… Success is not the result of making money; earning money is the result of success and success is in direct proportion to our service.”

That is the essence of the ‘secret’. There is nothing magical or wishful here. It is all perfectly good common sense advice. Mister Nightingale gives his listeners a 30 day plan with actions for what a person can do to start becoming successful and ultimately wealthier. The key word here is ‘do.’ Success requires action, substantial and constructive action. Thinking and attitude are very important parts of this equation but they are merely the beginning of the process.

Whether our goal is losing weight or becoming wealthy, the universe does not respond purely to our thoughts and emotions. It responds to what we do with our thinking and attitude.  People like Oprah Winfrey and J.K. Rowling did not become wealthy and successful by simply thinking about wealth and having a great attitude.  They became successful through their wisely chosen personal goals and by increasing their own value to others through their exemplary service.  This is the honest and simple truth of the *real* secret that Nightingale wisely explained some sixty years ago so don’t be duped by the simplistic thinking of today’s prosperity gurus.  As the old advertisement goes “Accept no substitutes!”

©2017 S.D. Wilson