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Showing posts with label demoralize. Show all posts
Showing posts with label demoralize. Show all posts

Tuesday, 1 September 2015

An Impoverished Mind

An Impoverished Mind

©Scott Wilson 2015
 
North America is by all measures a country of prosperity and abundance. Food is plentiful and inexpensive. Economical energy sources of all types abound. Our land is rife with natural resources. For centuries North America has been labelled "the Land of Opportunity." Modern living affords us more leisure time and more entertainments than any of our forefathers could have ever hoped to obtain. Indeed, compared with much of the rest of the world we are living amidst luxury, wealth and opulence.
 
Why then does it seem that most of us tend to think in terms of deficit? Our society is rife with individuals who feel that they do not have enough money, or possessions, or time. Rare is the man or woman who considers themself to be rich. Our attention is drawn towards that which seems to be missing instead of that which we have already received and currently possess. It would appear that our hearts and minds are truly impoverished. Advertisers profit from this thinking, pointing out how we need their products to genuinely fulfill us.
 
Perhaps we inherited this thinking from our parents and grandparents who suffered through the Great Depression. They were the first generation on this continent to experience a serious lack of abundance. Their fears seem to have given rise to the general angst and longing that pervades our present culture. As the speed and reach of our communications has become instant and global mankind has begun to sense its limitations. We wonder and worry that our lonely planet may not have the energy and resources to allow our continued prosperity.
 
I believe it would benefit us to question this pervasive mindset of poverty. By all reckoning this universe appears to be vast and infinite. There is no reason to believe that mankind cannot continue to advance and improve our use of the unending energy and materials that surround us. In addition to this physical view we would also benefit by questioning the relative importance of material wealth in our life journeys.
 
In my studies of successful people I have found various commonalities of outlook and thought.  One common factor that I have noticed about those whom we deem successful is that they tend to think in terms of abundance, not deficit.  They see opportunity everywhere, even in their failures!  Motivational writer and instructor Earl Nightingale described this abundant thinking best with these words “Don’t concern yourself with the money. Be of service. Build. Work. Dream. Create. Do this and you’ll find that there is no limit to the prosperity and abundance that will come to you.”  To those with a winning mindset, the world is rich with success; all they have to do is persevere to obtain it. Successful people live and act as is there is always enough for everyone and that they have but to claim their share.
 
The prosperous build growth upon growth, strength upon strength.  They see and understand weakness and loss but these are not their primary focus.  These positive people remain doggedly fixed on their objectives. As that old Frank Sinatra’s song goes, they have ‘high hopes.’  It is this outlook that we should seek for ourselves if we too wish to partake of similar successes in our own lives.
 
Look at your goals and objectives.  Are you lacking cash, time, resources, information, experience or anything else that you need to obtain what you envision?  Do not let these become anchors and barriers to you.  Look at what you *do* have and build upon it.  See the areas of success in your own life and amplify them.  Understand that the universe is filled with resources that can become yours to command if you allow yourself to see the very real opportunities that surround you.  If you truly seek to succeed then you need to lose your impoverished mind!

“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.” –Winston Churchill

"Some people are so poor, all they have is money." –Patrick Meagher

Tuesday, 18 August 2015

Losing Your (Punitive) Mind

Losing Your (Punitive) Mind
©2015 Scott D. Wilson, P.Eng.

No team ever won the Super Bowl with a coach who only criticized and punished their players. No Olympian ever grabbed the gold because they were driven by the fear of defeat and condemnation. Why then do so many of us think we can succeed by effectively using these same methods with ourselves? Frequently folks act like they can mentally beat themselves into submission. Whether it is our steps towards success in our careers or improving our health, it seems that a lot folks think that using an inner drill sergeant will somehow create the discipline that they seek in their lives.
Perhaps it is the ‘drill sergeant’ mythology from films like “Officer and a Gentleman” that has created this belief within us. Such films paint the picture of an antagonistic and harsh character who teaches the film’s hero the value of discipline, honour and self-sacrifice. While there is a time and place for the harsh treatment of a marine drill sergeant, I believe that most of us take these actions out of context.
Punishment is used to move us away from something; psychologists refer to punishment as negative reinforcement. However, punishment does not serve well to move us towards a goal. The harshness of the classic drill sergeant is used to break down independence because self-reliance in a war will get a person and their team killed. It is a drill sergeant’s job to take undisciplined and self-centered young people and form them into a strong healthy supportive team so they can rely on each other and survive under the harsh circumstances of war. The vicious words and actions of the sergeant have little to do with coaching the success of individuals. These severe actions are aimed to discourage individuality and encourage teamwork and interdependence. As individuals, using this method on ourselves to reach our goals will generally lead to discouragement and desperation.
Scientists in the field of Human Performance have long studied the best means for managing and improving behaviour. The results of their studies are clear: the use of positive reinforcements should far outweigh any negatives ones or punishments. Sports psychologists and researchers have determined that 80-90% of all coaching should involve positive reinforcement. Why then do so many people seem to feel that they can whip themselves into shape? From what I can see, it simply appears to be an erroneous belief that is a common part of our culture. It seems something akin to an ‘old wive’s tale.’
If we seek to succeed then it is clear that we must shed our unhealthy punitive mindset. In the study of performance improvement the best way to develop better actions is to reinforce desirable behaviours by applying positive reinforcement. Positive reinforcements are best termed as ‘rewards.’ Anything can be used for positive reinforcement: praise, incentives, money, gifts, actions, social status, et cetera. Rewards are very personal and need to be tailored to specific individuals. If we are seeking to motivate ourselves then we must find meaningful ways to reward ourselves when we take constructive actions towards our goals. Furthermore behavioural theorists have shown that the sooner a reward can be applied to a desired behavior the higher the chance that the individual will repeat this behaviour.
For example, a person who is seeking to lose weight might want to focus on the goal of logging food. Every time they complete a food log after a meal the person could reward themselves by having a chart that they tick off that will lead to a specific reward. Every time the person logs their food they will be visually rewarded by seeing that they are approaching a tangible goal. This method provides both an immediate and a long term goal.
So in short, we need to silence out inner drill sergeants. When we fail we need to quiet our self-criticism and practice gentle self-acceptance. We are not accepting our errors nor condoning our poor behaviour. We are merely acknowledging that we are human and not yet where we want to be. We are giving ourselves permission to make mistakes and learn from them. Next, we need to find out what acts as a reward for us and use it regularly to reinforce our positive choices and actions. If we follow this plan we can finally lose our minds… our punitive minds!