Applied Power

Applied Power 

“Knowledge isn’t power until it is applied.” 
–Dale Carnegie 

The old adage “Knowledge is power,” is incorrect. Knowledge itself is useless if you do not know how to use it to your advantage. Scientists seek knowledge and understanding of the material world.  As an engineer, I am an applied scientist. I take these discovered scientific principles and apply them to real world situations in order to create things that empower people to do different things.  It is this proper application of information that creates the power.


Thanks to Einstein, most people know that energy equals mass times the speed of light squared.  However, almost nobody in general knows how to meaningfully apply that knowledge.  Here where I work, we take that fact an apply it to create electrical power from the decay of Uranium.  Only when properly applied does knowledge actually become power.  It is also this same knowledge that can be applied to create weapons of unbelievable power and destruction.

Knowledge alone by itself is useless and impotent.  In fact, knowledge can be worse than useless, it can become a trap.  The quest for knowledge can be addictive.  We can get stuck seeking more and more information and all the while never learning to do anything useful with what we have already discovered.  You can see this a to certain degree in the condition described as analysis paralysis; this is where a person never makes a decision and acts on it because they feel they do not yet have enough information to decide properly.  The fear of what they do not know pushes them to know more and evermore.   This thirst for more knowledge can blind us to the truth that we need to act on what we already know.  It reminds me of the biblical text in 2 Timothy 3:7 that speaks to our tendency towards such foolish behaviour:  "(They will be) always learning but never able to come to a knowledge of the truth."

It should be noted that not all knowledge is truth nor can it all be used in a beneficial manner.  For example, you may learn of gruesome and terrible details about a person’s death but that knowledge might serve to do nothing more than give you horrific nightmares.  Meanwhile, other knowledge may be false or at best only true under specific circumstances.   Wrong knowledge applied unwisely has disastrous results, as history has repeatedly shown us in our many foolish crusades and persecutions or people that were feared or reviled.


It is our job as individuals to look at what we know to be true and to act wisely and correctly on that.  Chasing after more information while ignoring what we already know is foolhardy.  If we do not apply what we know right now to be true then the knowledge of that truth stands only to condemn us.   Knowing that we need to eat well and remain active in order to become and stay healthy is of little value if we do not consequently choose to apply that fact to our lives.  If we do not wish to live in guilt about this information then we need to find creative ways that work for us in our diets and our lifestyles.

Clearly, it is not knowledge itself that brings power. Knowledge brings the potential for power through applied action towards a worthy goal.  We must be careful of the trap of knowledge.  If we are not constructively applying what we already know then further learning just adds to the list of things that we are failing to do.  We should not fear the unknown but instead seek new and creative ways to apply what we already know towards our desired objectives.  We need to ask and confirm that the knowledge we have is actually positive and true.  If it is then we should vigorously act on it and apply it to our benefit so that we set ourselves free.

©2018 Scott D. Wilson, P.Eng.

Await or Create

Await or Create

“My dictionary defines opportunityas a set of circumstancesthat makes it possible to do something.The world has conditioned us to wait for opportunity,have the good sense to spot itand hope to strike at the appropriate time.But if opportunity is just a set of circumstances,why are we waiting around for the stars to align?Rather than waiting and pouncingwith a high degree of failure,you might as well go aheadand create a set of circumstances on your own.If you make the opportunity,you will be first in position to take advantage of it.We don’t have to wait for it.We create it.”–Biz Stone

Without your participation, in the next few minutes, your heart will continue to beat, you will continue to breathe and your existence will proceed.  This is what happens to us in this thing we call life. In this manner, we are similar to the animals who live from moment to moment with no greater aspirations. Yet life is so much more than just what happens to us!

Sure we can go through life reacting to all that comes our way.  In fact, this is what the vast majority of people do, day in and day out.  There is nothing shameful or wrong with this way of living.  If you are content doing what everyone else is doing and more or less getting what they are getting then put yourself in neutral and coast along.  This is the easiest and most efficient way to live within our culture.  The greatest personal energy expenditures will only occur if dangerous or unwanted situations occur.   

However, you may have noticed that this is not the manner by which those who are succeeding choose to live.  They do not wait for life to deliver itself to them.  They pursue what they want and make it happen.  Whether it be health, wealth, fame, skill, power or something else they do not sit passively waiting for it.  They plan carefully and work diligently to create the circumstances that will foster what they wish to achieve.  If you want to be exceptional, that is you wish to be the exception rather than the rule, then you too will need to stop being passive.

I cited Biz Stone in the quote above because it highlighted the fact that the “world has conditioned us to wait for opportunity.”  We sit and hope for the right circumstance to come to us.  We even actively prepare for these situations so that we do not miss them when they appear.  All of that is good. However, it is all passive at its core.  We bemoan when the stars do not align and we curse that others seem to have all the ‘luck.’  Meanwhile, we have missed countless chances to create our own opportunities. I know of no one who has not been guilty of this mindset, myself included.   

A hunter can train to shoot well and buy all the best gear.  They could also learn all the habits and ways of the creatures that they wish to hunt.  Then our hunter might go to the proper environment and the appropriate time and sit in a random promising spot and hope to see their prey walk by.  This will sometimes result in a successful expedition.  The more successful hunters learn various ways to lure their prey towards them.  They use calls and bait to entice the creatures.  They carefully check their hunting grounds for signs of their prey’s activity.  They’ll work hard to understand their target and to encounter it.  The will use their time and energy wisely and will not rely on simple chance and their results will show it.

An aspiring actor who hopes to be discovered would be considered foolish if they did not actively pursue every possible chance to showcase themselves.  Yes, they could take acting lessons and practice with various groups and guilds, but all that would be in vain if they did not actively work to promote their name and reputation in the entertainment industry.  Sure they might take roles hoping to get noticed by someone influential who might happen to attend a performance.  However, they could equally well invite influential people to their shows and provide them tickets.  They could take some well calculated risks to create the circumstances that they desire.

The difference between passive and active may seem subtle but it is significant.  Passive prays, waits and watches.  Active does this and then also plans, creates, pursues, entices, provokes and works.  Passive looks for chances.  Active intentionally takes risks.  Passive hopes.  Active intends and does.  Passive awaits inspiration.  Active gains inspiration through activity.  Passive relies on motivation.  Active relies on discipline and routine. This holds true for all of and all our dreams and ambitions.  We can wait for the universe to arbitrarily deliver opportunities to us or we can work with what the universe has already provided in order to create such opportunities. Health, money, peace of mind… no matter what your goal may be you have a choice:

Live passively and let life happen

or live actively and make life happen.

©2018 Scott D. Wilson

Overcoming The Enemy in the Mirror

Overcoming The Enemy in the Mirror

“If you do not conquer self, you will be conquered by self.”
–Napoleon Hill

If I were only able to impart one brief idea to the world then I think the one above might just be it. As I watch people milling about living their lives as best that they can, I see one universal struggle: people fighting with themselves. Whether these people seek to get ahead, escape from life situations, discover meaning and purpose, achieve weight loss or whatever, their greatest struggles are rarely with their circumstances and the world at large but rather with themselves.

Even those who are disciplined and regimented seem to labour with this matter. Many who seem successful in general still seem to find comeuppance in some area of their lives. Meanwhile, the temptation is quite strong for each of us to externalize the various problems that plague our existence…

-If I had his or her connections then I’d have a better job.

-If I liked vegetable more I’d still have a good body.

-If I had their skills then I could be paid to do that.

-If I lived there then I would have it made.

-If I were lucky then I’d take those chances.

The issue is always our body, our workplace, our society, our situation, our family, our kids, our spouse, our friends and so on, ad nauseam. Heaven forbid that heart of the problem may well lie within our very own heart and soul. That would be unthinkable! Our mantra and fantasy is “Once everything and everyone else changes to what I want then I can finally succeed and be happy.” We remain perplexed by those who just seem to navigate this life with ease and accomplishment. Clearly, they must be special.

I know of no easy cure to this point of view and I believe it to be fatal. If it sounds familiar, this is also the addict’s mindset. A full blown addict sees all their problems as external and themselves as a victim. A struggling addict grudgingly admits they might have a problem but they are always waiting for certain circumstances to allow them to change and overcome them. However, unless an addict slams headlong into his or her problems and is forced to see the cause within then they will never have a chance to recover. Even this realization is only the first step in a life-long battle to overcome themselves.

So if we see ourselves as the problem then the question becomes, “How do we prevail in this struggle with ourselves?” Realizing that you have an enemy and that the enemy is within is one thing. Preventing that enemy for overcoming us again and again is quite another matter. Carved on the ancient temple at the Oracle of Delphi are the words “Know thyself.” The wisdom of these words has been recognized for centuries. We are not just a mere intellectual mind and consciousness bobbing along through the universe trapped within a meat cage. That view is simplistic at best.

We are a complex mix of conscious and unconscious reactions, emotions and perceptions. We are creatures of both emotion and thought, mind and body. What we do to our body affects our faculties to think, and what and how we think likewise affects our bodies. To truly know oneself is to understand one’s very heart and soul, the darkness and the light, our nobility and our cowardice… and to truly accept them.

The universe impartially accepts us as we are and has accordingly assigned consequences to teach us about ourselves and our actions. It is the ultimate training program, tailored to respond to our every action. The results we get teach us about ourselves, each other and this incredible time and place in which we live. The problems start for each of us when we want to control the training regime itself and the results that it is giving us.

We literally want to manipulate reality and its principles. We want wealth without work. We want fame without understanding the needs of others. We want fitness without effort. We want love and understanding without offering unconditional acceptance towards others and without confronting our own deeply personal fears. We want our hearts to submit to our minds without acknowledging our soul’s very real and significant needs and desires. Reality keeps responding otherwise and we continue to rage against it.

Like the addicts, we will continue to frustrate ourselves if we see all our problems outside ourselves. The desire to bend existence to meet our expectations will continually generate great grief and exasperation. It is the disharmony between our mind and the enemy in the mirror that sabotages all our efforts inside and outside ourselves.

As Napoleon Hill stated we must conquer our self or we will be conquered by our self. Yet too many would wrongly read this as the mind conquers and controls the body and the emotions by brute force and willpower. That is the rationalistic view. Yet mankind is NOT rational. Mankind is emotional. Before rational thinking, before concepts, before words we each experienced life through perceptions and emotions. That is our base or core operating system.

For our minds to succeed in directing our hearts our minds must begin to learn to think and operate at that primal emotional level. Taoist philosophers and martial artist speak of defeating enemies before they exist. Someone who makes no enemies is indeed a very successful martial artist. This truth exists both within and without. The mind does not overcome our spirit by raw willpower and opposition. Our emotions are patient. They will wait until our rational mind is weakened, tired and inattentive and then they will strike and overcome it.

Instead, we must use our minds to understand that emotions do not grow in vacuums. If we awaken our awareness to our bodies and our heart then they will tell us what frightens them and what they love. The wise mind then uses our loves and passions to fuel constructive behaviours and actions. Only a heart and spirit that is well fed, cared for and secure will gladly and willingly cooperate with logical mind.

It is possible to know ourselves – both our emotions and our thoughts. It is possible to minimize the struggling with ourselves. There are many paths towards that end if we seek them. For some it is meditation. For others it is mindfulness. Some require focused activities like yoga or tai chi. Some read and then quietly contemplate. Still others use prayer. The key is to find out what works for you to get in touch with your inner workings.

Our unconscious or non-verbal selves can communicate with us but we need to create the circumstances that allow them to be heard by our ever-babbling brains. We need to invest time in ourselves to better understand our own personal spiritual, emotional, social, physical and intellectual needs. Fears and worries will dog us and thwart our logical goals if we do not face them, understand them and overcome them.

If you struggle finding a path for yourself then look to those who are graceful and harmonious in their lives. These people have discovered how to peacefully unite their hearts and their minds. They do what they want and they want what they do. Content with themselves they continually strive to improve and grow. They understand their own foolish thoughts and actions and the foolish ideas and actions of others. They express compassion towards themselves and to all those around them. Listening and aware, they properly feed their hearts as well as their minds. They are at peace internally and externally. Seek out such people and their wisdom, as they have subdued their selves and with this new ally they boldly and successfully face their fears and undertake to build their dreams.

When you find your life and your goals and plans are frustrated resist the temptation to blame the world. Gently accept your role in creating your circumstances. Become teachable and let the universe impart to you its often difficult and painful lessons. Find the path to understanding the emotional and non-verbal sides to yourself. Discipline your mind to listen to your body and your spirit. Learn to meet all your personal needs. Discover the ways to harmonize your mind with its internal and external environments. Then will you be able to successfully conquer yourself and overcome your adversary in the mirror by transforming them into a comrade.

©2017 Scott D. Wilson

Are you offensive? Yes, good!

Are you offensive?  Yes, good!

By Scott Wilson

“Action Offends the Inactive” –Chris Shugart

I have covered an aspect of this subject once before using the analogy from the film ‘the Matrix’ and becoming unplugged.  However, my focus was more about projecting our own expectations upon others than about their reactions towards us.  I would like to cover here something that surprises so many people who seek to make improvements in their lives.

If you have set a goal and you are visibly putting in the effort daily to achieve that goal then I have news for you:  You are offensive to many of those around you.   Yes, you heard me.  You are a thorn in the side of some of your friends, family and acquaintances.  You are going against the flow.  Who do you think you are?  What makes you think that YOU deserve something better than everyone else?  What makes you special?

Sure, the people that you know may not actually make these statements but their words and actions will reflect the sentiment.  A colleague will make sideways comments about your improvement efforts.  A loved one will subtly discourage you from proceeding with your commitment to better yourself.  There will be some strong push from peers to go along and conform to the norm.  It surprises many people that the ones that are closest to them are often the source of their worst discouragement and temptations to quit.

You see, if you are successful in your efforts then others who see you will ask themselves “Why can’t I do what he or she did?” That is a very uncomfortable question.  If you can improve and succeed then that means that they will need to take responsibility for any lack of success and improvement in their own lives.  You are and they aren’t.  In effect, you actions are pointing an accusing finger at their inaction and that is offensive.

Most people want to live relatively comfortable lives free from blame and responsibility.  They are where they because that is where everyone is and that is okay.  Their environment is responsible for all that they have or do not have.  They merely react in response to what is around them.  They did not ask to be born into the life that they are living.  They are simply doing the best with what they have.  Only the special, the lucky, the fortunate and the blessed get anything different.  Good and bad happen by chance and so they are content to be in the middle above the poor and suffering but also below the few prosperous and successful.  Average is just fine for them.

There is nothing wrong with this.  Living a passive life is quite acceptable and billions do it successfully every single day.  Most of the services and systems of our society are geared towards the average person and so this quiet acceptance is encouraged.  However, if anyone wants to leave this comfortable middle ground their efforts are questioned by those around them.  Why unnecessarily risk failure?

Another reason for people’s negative reactions towards you will be fear and resistance to change.  People like to label things.  It makes life easier.  Much of our identities are tied to the labels that have defined us.  Change upsets that.  For example, if you have always been conservative and down to earth and suddenly you start behaving in an excessive and risky manner this will confuse people.  So it is also when we seek to improve.  It will evoke fear to those closest to you.  They will wonder if they truly know you.  They may be concerned that this new and improved version of you may not want to be with them anymore.  They will then act and speak out of this anxiety either consciously or unconsciously.

Whether it is a poor reflection upon themselves or a fear of your changes, those who know you best can be expected to be a source of difficulty for you when you start following a dream or pursuing a goal. This is normal. Accept that you have become offensive to them through no fault of your own.  Don’t be hurt by their comments or actions.  It is a reflection of their own insecurities.  In truth, their responses have very little to do with you.  Instead, take such poor behaviour as proof that you are going in the right direction.  Use such potentially discouraging incidents as fuel to keep you moving on the better path.

Cheers!

©2017 Scott D. Wilson

Shedding Disbelief

Shedding Disbelief

By Scott Wilson

 

“Close your eyes and imagine the best version of you possible.That’s who you are, let go of any part of you that doesn’t believe it.” –Chris Assaad

 

Virtually every successful person that I have ever studied operated by the principle in the words above.  They had a vision for themselves and who they intended to become.  Every day they would wake up and bring to mind a vision of the person into which they planned to transform themselves.  Yes, they might not be there yet.  Yes, there may still be a long way to go.  However, they used this vision to direct their actions, decisions and interactions so that they would keep moving closer to that version of themselves.

They could see themselves at the endpoint.  The envisioned how they would be and behave in that successful state.  They acted as is if they were already there. These people needed to let go of the parts of themselves that did not harmonize with their planned goal for who they were becoming.  They needed to believe in themselves.  I imagine that this belief was the truly the heart of their battles more so than any of the external struggles that they faced.

No matter what our goals may be, the difficulties that we face in the real world will pale in comparison to the battles waged inside of us.  We love to blame external factors for our troubles.  Our friends, families, colleagues and people in general thwart our efforts to reach our goals.  Circumstances beyond our control turn against us without warning.  Even our own bodies and health can betray us.  However, if we are truly honest with ourselves then in the end we will see that these are just mere excuses.

They are excuses to give up on ourselves and our dreams.  

They are the siren song of mediocrity and disillusion.  So many say “Life handed me crappy cards so I am just going to fold.” They actually die long before death takes them.  So many who succeeded before us overcame life situations that would make our lives look luxurious in comparison.  They did not succeed because they were lucky or blessed or special.  They overcame because they chose to continue believing in themselves.  They fought hard and stopped disbelieving themselves.  They fought hard against their own excuses.

If you see a successful person today I guarantee that they succeeded in their heart and their mind long before they overcame all the difficulties that you and I can see.  They practiced the words of Chris Assaad.  If we are serious about pursuing our own dreams then we too must work to shed the disbelieving parts of ourselves.  We must see our excuses for the deadly and dangerous things that they are and let them go.  Let us instead imagine that best version of ourselves and start believing and being it.

Cheers!

P.S.  As I read this quote and write this, I confess, I am struggling it.  I want to be the best version of myself.  I want that vision to be my core.  As much as my head can agree with this, my emotions are brutally fighting it and they are strong.  Yet fight I will!  If I can wrestle with these demons then so can you!  William Ross Wallace said “Every man dies.  Not everyone really lives.” I don’t know about you but I intend to LIVE before I die!

 

Huzzah!

©2017S.D.Wilson

What if I?

What if I?

One unremarkable day
In an unremarkable year
In an unremarkable place
In an unremarkable house
That an unremarkable person
Did a remarkable thing
He wondered “What if I?”
And he didn’t stop.
It made all the difference in the world.

What if I can do more?
What if I have something unique to offer the world?
What if I *can* change?
What if I can let go of my past and begin something new and different?
What if I forgive myself and others?
What if I can overcome my circumstances?
What if I believed in myself?
What if I can be better today than I was yesterday?
What if I no longer wait for the right time?
What if I have failed but I am not truly a failure?
What if I stop making excuses?
What if I quit looking at obstacles and start seeking opportunities?
What if I accept myself as I am right now?
What if I face my fears?
What if I follow love?
What if I begin working on my dream?
What if I start NOW?

And then they DID!
They changed their world...
And then they changed ours!!

©2016 SD Wilson

Motivation: Hacking Your Emotions



Motivation: Hacking Your EmotionsBy Scott D. Wilson


In the game of motivation that is played to achieve success there are two players:  our rational mind and our emotional mind.  The rational mind foolishly thinks that it is in charge.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  Without the emotional mind there would be no energy or drive to our actions.  We need the power generated by the emotional mind to fuel all our noble endeavours.  Yes, in the very short term we can use pure logic and reason to start an action, but eventually the emotions will demand a tangible pay-off in order to sustain a worthwhile behaviour or to continue towards a meaningful goal.  No matter how logical or how important an idea may be, we won’t make the effort to put it into effect if our emotions do not support it, at least not in the long run.


Often our emotional mind gets tired.  It sulks like a child and it wants what it wants and it does not care what our rational mind knows.  We lose our motivation.  Here is where most rational minds fail.  They attempt to bully and coerce the emotional mind into bending to their sheer willpower.  They use guilt and shame in an attempt to force the emotional mind into co-operating with the logical and reasonable plans.  This generally fails utterly and the person then blames their lack of ‘willpower’. 
The root of the word willpower is willing. If your rational mind forces any issue then there is no willingness.  The source of power in one’s will is based on the willingness behind it.  The emotions must be engaged for willingness to have any power.  Willpower consists of rational thought that provides a vector of constructive direction and emotions that supply the necessary power.  Without emotions in harmony with a logical plan there is only empty intention.  It is, at best, a wish.


You are not a logical creature with emotions.  You are an emotional creature with reasoning.  Deal with the emotions.  If you want motivation you need to use your rational mind to entice your emotions.  Yes, entice, as in ‘to attract or tempt by offering pleasure or advantage’.  Figure out what motivates your emotions.  Do rewards act as your best incentives?  Then set up action charts that provide rewards when certain tasks are achieved.  Doe fun help you during mundane tasks?  Find things that you can use to pep you up and make your work towards your goals more enjoyable and less dreary or tiring.  The answers are very personal.

Each of us has different things that excite and entice us.  Take the valuable time to find yours! Do whatever it takes to provoke your emotions into action.  Find the pleasure or advantage that puts emotions behind your intended actions!!   If you need to restore your motivation then hack your own emotions and take the necessary steps to funnel their energy towards your goals!


©2016 S.D. Wilson

Finding You Ikigai

Finding Your Ikigai

By Scott D. Wilson

Have you ever struggled to stay motivated towards a given goal?  Whether it was sticking to a financial budget, striving to keep a fitness goal or some other beneficial discipline, you just couldn’t seem to muster what you needed to keep your focus.  You are far from alone.  What if I were to suggest that you are only seeing a symptom of your trouble?  Perhaps there is another element missing from your life that would help to put your goals on track.  Perhaps you need to find your ikigai.

When it comes to health, well-being and longevity the world seems to worship at the feet of Okinawa, Japan.  Their lifestyles have been exhaustively studied.  Many diets and supplements have been created from their way of eating.  Their martial arts and meditation practices have been taught and spread around the word.  Although these are all noble efforts it is the more recent focus on the people’s philosophy and thinking that has caught my attention.

You see, in Okinawa there is not real concept for retirement.  People are simply expected to remain engaged in life throughout their entire lifespan.  Oh for sure, people slow down and they may even change occupation but their life experience is constantly being applied in gainful ways.  Central to this way of life is the concept of ‘ikigai’ (生き甲斐, pronounced icky-guy).  The term ikigai is composed of two Japanese words: iki (生き?), referring to life, and kai (甲斐?), which roughly means "the realisation of what one expects and hopes for".  In short, it is "a reason to get up in the morning" or a reason to enjoy life.  Everyone, according to the Japanese, has an ikigai.

There is a TED Talk by Dan Buettner who suggested ikigai as one of the primary reasons for the longevity of Okinawans, and he may be onto something.  For finding one’s ikigai requires a long and deep search of oneself.  Finding your ikigai is akin to finding the meaning of your life.  Ikigai brings value to one’s life and it set our purpose.  Times may be gloomy and dreary and fortunes may be failing but a person who understands their ikigai presses on with intention and resolve.

It is generally believed that one’s ikigai can be found at the intersection of four areas of one’s life:

#1 What you love.

#2 What you are good at.

#3 What the world needs.

#4 What you can be paid to do.

Imagine that sweet-spot where you are doing something that you love, you are good at, the world needs and you can be paid to do it!  That is ikigai.  It is that place where your passion, profession, mission and vocation come together.  As I said earlier, it gets you up in the morning.

I want people to succeed.  To this end I study the successful lives of people throughout history.  I seek through the disciplines of philosophy to better see and understand life so that might develop methods to make myself and others more successful and prosperous.  I like the concept of ikigai because it draws together all the elements necessary for our success in any venture.  We like to believe that we are purely rational creatures making decisions based on our noble beliefs and logical understanding.  This is largely bunk.  We are irrational and emotional creatures with a capacity to use reasoning.

We try to remain rational but our emotions make most of the decisions and our reasoning minds tag along for the ride.  If anything, our rational mind and our emotions and spirit are usually at odds with each other.  The rational mind rarely fares well in these conflicts, retreating to a corner and licking its wounds while finding logic to justify our largely illogical choices and decisions.  All too often our minds are slaves to our fears, being made to generate sound reasons for avoiding risk and keeping the status quo intact.  “If it isn’t broken then why fix it?” we intone to justify remaining as we are, regardless of our state of being.

This is not the best way to live life.  This is surviving, not thriving.  Those throughout history who were happiest and healthiest followed their hearts and their dreams.  They used their passions to face their fears.  They were not content to keep what they loved, what they were good at, what they were paid for and what the world needed in separate boxes of their lives.  The successful in life fused these four together to fuel their efforts and generate success in all areas of their lives.  It did not matter if they were striving in school, working through their career, starting a new business, creating art, perfecting their baking, or losing weight; those who succeeded did so with every facet of their being.  They knew largely how to harmonize their emotional and rational minds to resolve the conflict and overcome the inevitable fears that block the path to their success.

We are each a mixture of loves and fears along with experiences and memories. We have been endowed with a marvelous mind that can think, innovate and create.  We can tame our fears and we pursue out loves.  We can give our lives purpose.  This purpose will drive all that we work to achieve.  Yes, ikigai gives us a reason to get up but it also brings meaning to everything that we seek to accomplish.

Without ikigai all our noble efforts will be shaky at best.  Without a core purpose then we will naturally question following any goal.  If we wonder why we are here at this time and place then we will wonder the purpose of doing anything whatsoever.  How can such uncertainty succeed?  In contrast if we have a core purpose fueling our every breath then we will put our entire being into every goal that harmonizes with our ikigai.  If weight loss facilitates our ikigai then we will lose weight.  If prosperity helps us to follow our ikigai then we will strive to prosper. If you have united your passion, your mission, your profession and you vocation then you can use that to succeed in all your dreams and hopes.

And so I commend you to seek your own unique ikigai. Stop fumbling with lesser goals.  There are many who are content with very little.  They shed their quests for fame and fortune and followed a path with heart.  They face their fears daily and overcome them.  Still others prosper that they might fulfill their deeper purpose.  All their goals are full and meaningful because they are tied to their central ikigai.  If you have found your motivations flagging and you are asking a lot of ‘whys’ then that is your opportunity to discover your ikigai.  Follow those ‘whys’ as far as they will take you.  If you can satisfy your own questioning mind and inquisitive heart then an amazing treasure awaits and the Okinawans have named it ‘ikigai.’ 

©2016 S.D. Wilson

Finding Success

Finding Success 

©2015 Scott D. Wilson

This article is dedicated to the admirable life and great friendship of Dr. Janice McCarthy.
I do not know when exactly but I do know that soon a light will fade from this planet and the universe will be a bit darker. My friend, Doctor Janice McCarthy is in the final stages of her battle with the evil that is cancer. My heart breaks for her husband and children and their unfair loss.


But I am not writing here about loss. I am writing about finding success. I do not know a single person who does not crave success in their life. It is almost a fundamental human drive like hunger, sex, love and acceptance. However, we all seem to achieve varying levels of success in our lives. We all want and dream of success yet few of us are willing to do all that is needed to achieve those goals. I believe that the drive for success is akin to psychologist Abraham Maslow's description of the quest for self-actualization.


I am privileged to have known several successful people in my passage through this weary land of heartaches and broken dreams. Some were wealthy.  Others had meager means. Some were well known and popular. While some live in quiet obscurity. There were those both brilliant and simple. I would imagine that many reading here wonder then how I am defining success.


Earl Nightingale gave the best definition of success that I am aware of to date.  His definition stated that "Success is the progressive realization of a worthy ideal."  In most people's eyes worthy ideals are mainly fame and fortune. I have a much broader view of success yet I would have to say that still only a few obtain it.


My successful few have one common thread: a fearless passion for life. Their legacies are loving families, heartfelt friends, admiring colleagues, grateful neighbours and a general respect from virtually all who knew them. Whatever their circumstance they grabbed life for all it was worth. None of them were victims in their maturity. Their environments did not subdue or define them. They truly overcame the world and themselves.  Oh, they had fears and nightmares but they all learned to face them to persevere beyond them.

My friend Janice is not dying of cancer. She is truly living deeply and fully with the disease. Despite the ravages of the illness she seems more alive now than when we first met. Yes, I see a certain sadness within her but it is not regret.  It is the natural yearning for more. Her smile, her wit, her impish ways, her unconquered spirit burn brightly. Even in the precious last days she still reaches out and counsels her patients. Her abundant generosity has not been stemmed by this vicious disease.  I see in her the unbowed unbroken warrior.  I cannot help but be inspired.


Why is this success?  She has lived this life on her terms. That is one of the noblest ideals that I can envision. The lives she has touched attest to this. Of this I have no doubt. Her family and friends have been given a shining legacy from her. I will miss my friend but I will forever be enriched by my time spent with her.


And so I encourage you, my reader, to look to your own life. Find your own success and commit your life to it. Use the inspirations of lives well lived to find your own noble ideals. Do not narrow success to money or popularity. Define life on your own terms. Dream big and work hard. Love deeply and boldly!  Do not let world extinguish your light. Burn brightly like a shooting star... like my friend Janice.

"To laugh often and love much; to win the respect of intelligent persons and the affection of children; to earn the approbation of honest citizens and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to give of one’s self; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to have played and laughed with enthusiasm and sung with exultation; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived—this is to have succeeded."- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Fill a Need

Fill a Need

©2015 Scott D. Wilson
 

I want to tell you two remarkable stories.  The first story is that of a young intern back in 1991.  Like many of her ilk she works hard and long hours striving to learn all that she can to become a superb physician and ultimately a skilled surgeon.  During this time she is assigned to a critical care ward where she encounters and elderly patient whose illness is very likely terminal.  They chat and find a common bond in their passion for fly fishing.  Their relationship is limited to the regular brief encounters during the young physician’s daily rounds. 
 
One day the doctor notes that the patient’s demeanor is more subdued.  Her inquiry yields a heart-felt statement from the patient.  Tomorrow is his wedding anniversary.  For all of the 60+ years that he has been married he has never missed a wedding anniversary.  But now he is stuck in this bed unable to do anything for his beloved.  Saying nothing our diligent doctor politely takes her leave and moves on.
 
The next day, shortly after the elderly patient’s wife arrives for her regular visit a large bouquet of flowers is delivered to her under her husband’s name.  Our physician hears the joyful tale from her patient later that day.  With a tired smile she goes on her way.
 
My next story is that of another new physician.  However this lady is not so young.  For you see, she was first a nurse for several years before she decided to become a doctor.  This tale begins on a night shift.  A rookie nurse is working the palliative care floor.  The ink is barely dry on her certificate.  Our new physician is also on duty performing rounds when the frantic young nurse stops her in the hall.  An elderly patient is in the last stages of dying.  He has no family to comfort him in his last hours.  He is moaning and begging the young nurse for someone to just hold him.  This is our fledgling nurse’s first encounter with a dying patient.  She desperately looks to our physician for direction.
 
Without a word the fresh doctor quickly walks towards the patient’s room.  Then, to the astonishment of the novice nurse, the doctor careful climbs onto the bed and gently wraps her arms around the dying man.  And there in the room our nurse and doctor remain for several small hours till the old man passes from this world.  The impact on the nurse was significant.  She had never before experienced the likes of such a doctor.
 
Why do I spin these tales for you?  Because they a real, and because I see a lesson of success in their actions.  I am privileged to call the first doctor my sister.  The second wonderful healer is the daughter of my mother’s best friend.  In both cases these wonderful women saw a need and compassionately filled it.  They did not seek glory or recognition.  Indeed I would not know of them had they not been relayed to me by third parties.  Despite their authority and positions they did not feel these tasks were beneath them. 
 
In Disney’s film ‘Robots’ the protagonist falls in love with the catchphrase “See a need. Fill a need.”  The idea is that if we identify a problem then we are in probability also the person most able to develop the solution.  In the film the character’s desire to follow this ideal leads him on the path to success. The two ladies above perfectly lived this creed.  Their examples challenge me.  As I consider the most successful people in business and in life I realize that they too exemplified this truth.  Mother Theresa, Bill Gates, Alexander Graham Bell,  Nicolai Tesla, and others… they all saw needs and successfully filled them.  If we are to succeed in this life then we too should follow this pattern.
 
We all have unique talents and abilities.  We all look around and see this world’s many deficiencies.  Today, instead of hoping that someone else will fix them, perhaps we can turn it around and consider how we might be the necessary person to bless this needy world.  Like my two doctors, may we find our own way to quietly “fill a need.” 

Conserve your energy!

Conserve your energy!
©Scott D. Wilson 2014

Daily we are told that we must conserve our limited resources. We are asked to reduce reuse and recycle. This makes sense. Our physical wealth is finite and once we burn or use it up then it is gone.  If we  are not wasteful then we can make the best use of what we have.

As individuals, the principle of conservation holds equally true. We need to use our assets wisely if we intend to succeed. It only makes sense to carefully apply our energies so that we have the power reach our goals. We are human. Each day grants us only so much time and energy. These are non-renewable. You cannot get back one wasted moment of time. So I urge you to act wisely and conserve your energy now. How can we do this?  Of course, I have some suggestions.

Let go of regrets. Regrets tie us to past failures and mistakes.  Regrets steal our power today and prevent us from moving forward. Regrets force us to look backwards yet they cloud honest reflection and impede us from learning anything constructive from the past.  Free yourself from the tyrant of regrets.  See each regret for the anchor that it is and let it go.

Don't let anxiety rob you of this moment. Of course, we must plan and prepare for the future.  However, our fear and worry do not serve to move us towards the goals that we desire. Anxiety takes our energy right now and uses it to dread possibilities and events that may never occur. See fear for the robber that it is and learn to let go of foolish worries.

Do not waste time and effort trying to control or change others.  This is a waste of your precious resources. Instead, use your time and energy to master self-control. We truly cannot change others nor control their actions.  However, if learn to control ourselves then we improve our ability to help and influence those around us.

Do not let the words of others drain you. If we let take it to heart then criticism can sap us of motivation and satisfaction. Instead, criticism can be used for learning. Listen carefully to critics and look for any truth in their statements.  Don't use that truth as a hammer on your ego, but rather use the information to improve yourself and #ç your strengths and weaknesses. As for the rest of their criticism, reject it and let it go.

Similarly, do not use your own thoughts self-destructively. Do not berate yourself hoping to kick yourself to do better. This does not work and it generally erodes our self-esteem and steals our motivation. Focus the energy of your thoughts on self-improvement instead. Take inventory of your strengths and seek to understand your weaknesses. You can build on your strengths and you can find methods to compensate or mitigate your weaknesses. Use your mind's energy to strive towards your goals. Remain creative, not destructive.

Never permit yourself the extravagance of hatred. Hatred wastes time and emotion on others. Your hatred has absolutely no effect on the person or thing that you detest. They move through life blissful unaware and unaltered by your anger.  There is an old proverb that says "Hatred is like drinking poison and hoping that the other person will die."  Save your energy and selfishly forgive.  Forgiveness frees you from the unhealthy obsession with the object of your venom.  Forgiveness does not mean being a doormat to abusive people or circumstances. It simply means letting go of the pain and then standing up for what is right.

Focus on today and its goals. Stay in this moment. Conserve your energies so that you may attain the success for which you strive. Stop wasting your efforts on regret, anxiety, others, criticism, self-loathing and hatred. Use the time, emotions and energy that you have right now to constructively build the tomorrows that you passionately desire!!

Why are you here?

Why are you here?

©2015 Scott D. Wilson,P.Eng.

 

Seriously, why are you here?  What is the point of your travels in this outer spiral arm of a Galaxy we call the Milky Way?  Sure, you were born here but that is mere circumstance.  Why do continue this ongoing adventure?  Are you like singer in the old Peggy Lee song “Is that all there is?” who is just hanging in because they simply don’t want to face the final disappointment of death?  Do you breathe out of habit or do you savour every miraculous heartbeat and every taste of life-sustaining air?

I see so many, day in and day out, struggling with addictions, bad habits, weight, and so much more.  The common factor for so many of them is the need for motivation and the will to follow through.  I may be wrong but I see that a large part of their problem is that they lack meaningful purpose in their life.  They simply do not know why they are here.  It is as if they expect to wake up one day from this tired existence and start living their real lives – the lives they were meant to be living.  This may in fact be partially true.

I can see why the Eastern religions and mysticism seek ‘enlightenment’ and ‘awakening.’  Like Neo in ‘The Matrix’ they want to see reality as it truly is and realize that their true identity is not what they have accepted since birth.  They want to awaken and see their true selves and those of the people and creations around them.  This is a noble quest.  It sets a foundation and provides a perspective for all that we are and all that we do.  For until you begin to truly understand yourself and start to know why you are here then you will continually struggle with motivation and willpower for all other pursuits.

For example, if you do not have a core purpose for living then what does it matter if you are thin or fat, healthy or sick, sane or crazy, wise or foolish?  Finding a purpose for life is not purely a spiritual pursuit.  Atheists are not immune to the need for a purposeful existence.  The only difference is the basis for the rational understanding of their unique purpose.

You are a combination of a rather unique set of 3.2 billion base pairs of DNA.  Scientifically and spiritually, you shall not pass this way again.  Even a clone will technically not be you, as it would be constrained to experience a completely different time and set of circumstances.   You belong here… to this time and place.  Accept that the universe has placed you where and when you are.  Whether it be the forces of evolution and circumstance or by divine intent, you came to be here today.

Accepting your place within time and space will allow you to look clearly at yourself and ask what role are you suited to play in the portion that has been allotted to you.  What are your talents?  What are your passions and interests?  What makes you come alive?  If these things are taking a back seat in your life then I suggest that you look at your priorities.  Because if you are not doing the things that bring enjoyment, meaning and fulfillment to your life then you won’t find much motivation to do all the other things that would otherwise bring health and other benefits to your existence.

Do not look to others to find out why you exist.  Their truths and meanings may have no bearing on you whatsoever.  Look inside and learn.  Look outside and see the possibilities, not the limitations.  Trust that you have been provided with a rational mind that can discover your own unique reasonable purpose.  Do not accept the realities that others have provided for you; they can limit your ability to see and understand.  When you are confused by life allow yourself to be puzzled and to ask “Why?”  Allow for awe and wonder. 

If you are having difficulties finding some kind of motivation I suggest that you put aside that struggle for now and instead ask yourself “Who am I?” Quietly allow the infinite number of answers to come to you.  Some will resonate more than others.  Dwell on those for they will help you to discover who you are and why you are here.  It will be a process.  Just as one does not go one day from a classroom to the pilot seat of an aircraft so too will the learning about yourself take gentle time and patience.  

I encourage you to discover your own reason for your existence.  From that answer will spring the ability and motivation for so much more.  Howard Thurman put it so eloquently:

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” 

I ask again, “Why are you here?”  I have provided some perspective and advice for one to begin to find an answer to this question.  Now I lastly ask, are you brave enough to try? 

An Impoverished Mind

An Impoverished Mind

©Scott Wilson 2015

 

North America is by all measures a country of prosperity and abundance. Food is plentiful and inexpensive. Economical energy sources of all types abound. Our land is rife with natural resources. For centuries North America has been labelled "the Land of Opportunity." Modern living affords us more leisure time and more entertainments than any of our forefathers could have ever hoped to obtain. Indeed, compared with much of the rest of the world we are living amidst luxury, wealth and opulence.

 

Why then does it seem that most of us tend to think in terms of deficit? Our society is rife with individuals who feel that they do not have enough money, or possessions, or time. Rare is the man or woman who considers themself to be rich. Our attention is drawn towards that which seems to be missing instead of that which we have already received and currently possess. It would appear that our hearts and minds are truly impoverished. Advertisers profit from this thinking, pointing out how we need their products to genuinely fulfill us.

 

Perhaps we inherited this thinking from our parents and grandparents who suffered through the Great Depression. They were the first generation on this continent to experience a serious lack of abundance. Their fears seem to have given rise to the general angst and longing that pervades our present culture. As the speed and reach of our communications has become instant and global mankind has begun to sense its limitations. We wonder and worry that our lonely planet may not have the energy and resources to allow our continued prosperity.

 

I believe it would benefit us to question this pervasive mindset of poverty. By all reckoning this universe appears to be vast and infinite. There is no reason to believe that mankind cannot continue to advance and improve our use of the unending energy and materials that surround us. In addition to this physical view we would also benefit by questioning the relative importance of material wealth in our life journeys.

 

In my studies of successful people I have found various commonalities of outlook and thought.  One common factor that I have noticed about those whom we deem successful is that they tend to think in terms of abundance, not deficit.  They see opportunity everywhere, even in their failures!  Motivational writer and instructor Earl Nightingale described this abundant thinking best with these words “Don’t concern yourself with the money. Be of service. Build. Work. Dream. Create. Do this and you’ll find that there is no limit to the prosperity and abundance that will come to you.”  To those with a winning mindset, the world is rich with success; all they have to do is persevere to obtain it. Successful people live and act as is there is always enough for everyone and that they have but to claim their share.

 

The prosperous build growth upon growth, strength upon strength.  They see and understand weakness and loss but these are not their primary focus.  These positive people remain doggedly fixed on their objectives. As that old Frank Sinatra’s song goes, they have ‘high hopes.’  It is this outlook that we should seek for ourselves if we too wish to partake of similar successes in our own lives.

 

Look at your goals and objectives.  Are you lacking cash, time, resources, information, experience or anything else that you need to obtain what you envision?  Do not let these become anchors and barriers to you.  Look at what you *do* have and build upon it.  See the areas of success in your own life and amplify them.  Understand that the universe is filled with resources that can become yours to command if you allow yourself to see the very real opportunities that surround you.  If you truly seek to succeed then you need to lose your impoverished mind!

“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.” –Winston Churchill

"Some people are so poor, all they have is money." –Patrick Meagher

Buddha on a Bike

 

Buddha on a Bike

©2015 Scott D. Wilson, P.Eng.

 

I am always looking for trends and common threads among successful people. Lately, I have noticed that very many successful people admit to various practices of mediation or mindfulness. The billionaire founder of Bridgewater Associates, Ray Dalio went so far as to say “Meditation more than anything in my life was the biggest ingredient of whatever success I've had.” That is quite an endorsement! There have been countless studies on meditation and here are just a few of positive effects of meditation:

• Reduction in stress and a better ability to handle stressors
• Improved brain functions
• Increased productivity in high performance situations
• Reduction in the symptoms of anxiety and depression
• Improved ability to fight disease and to maintain health
• Better-quality sleep
• Longer attention span and stronger ability to focus
• Increased metabolism and assists in weight loss (Yes, weight loss – through the increase in mitochondria!!)
• Greater level of creativity

These are just a small sampling of the benefits of meditative practices.

Now if you are like me then when you hear the words mindfulness and meditation you suddenly get a vision of a long-haired old hermit with a flowing beard seated at the top of a mountain. The reality is that nothing could be further from the truth. In the 60’s the Beatles introduced eastern transcendental meditation into mainstream western culture. Since then we have tended to focus on the various forms of seated meditation from the ancient Ascetics to Zen monks. Fortunately, seated or static meditation is but one form of mindful exercises.

For me, the thought of sitting for a prolonged period without movement with the aim of clearing my mind and my thoughts is right up there with listening to fingers raking down a chalkboard. I am in no way dissing this means of contemplation. There is a time and a place for such practice and it is better suited for some people and less so for others. If these work for you then I encourage you to continue.

Others like me have been discouraged with many of the transcendental techniques. Fortunately, there are alternatives and I wish to increase awareness of them. Some of you may know that there are techniques known as moving meditation. By far the most popular is the practice of Tai Chi. Many martial arts employ moving meditations. For example, Karate employs various moving exercises called katas. Yes, these routines are a form of practicing the offensive and defensive techniques. They are also excellent forms of moving meditation.

Anyone who has sought to master a Tai Chi form or a martial art kata knows that you start out thinking your way through them and your mind jabbers as it seeks to remember and follow the movements. However, as you become more adept your mind stills as your focus on your arms, legs, breathing and so much more absorbs your entire attention. For folks like me this is a marvelous form of meditation – moving outside and still inside.

“But I don’t like martial arts and Tai Chi just isn’t for me!” you object. Guess what? Martial arts do not have the lock on this form of mindfulness. Ask a marathon runner or any other serious athlete and they will tell you that when they hit their stride that there are moments of peacefulness and stillness as all they hear is their blood pounding and the rhythm of their limbs. Do you have to be a professional athlete? Not from my experience. I have discovered that my meditation often occurs atop the pedals of my bicycle.

Sure, I start out just thinking about my day as I get started pedaling down my driveway. The mind is a persistent beast and it wants to go over all the various concerns of the day ahead. Eventually, as I drive my bike harder either in silence or while listening to music then the thoughts slowly quiet. There is just me and my bike connected to the road, the trees, the grass, the dew, the sunshine and the entire universe.

So am I saying that you must become a Buddha on a bike? No, but you must find an exercise that you can use for at least ten minutes that will afford you some quiet contemplation. I have found such moments of meditation in Tai Chi Chuan, running, biking, skiing, walking quietly and even while washing dishes. The key is to immerse yourself in the activity. Give it your whole attention. When you are performing your activity perform it to your best. Pay attention to details. Pay attention to your movement, to your limbs, to your breath, to your heartbeat, to you surroundings (smells, sights, physical sensations, noises and even tastes). If possible, don’t linger on one thing. However, it is perfectly ok to get lost in something. The moments of quiet clarity will come and go – do not be discouraged. Practice diligently and through repetition and improving skill you will eventually find the still part of your mind.    

So when you hear the benefits of meditation do not sigh longingly and despair at the thought of a sore posterior and nodding off in a temple. Instead, get up, get moving and find the mindfulness activity that will allow you your own brand of meditation! Let us follow the many successful leaders along the quiet and gentle mind’s path to our goals!  

Losing Your (Punitive) Mind

Losing Your (Punitive) Mind
©2015 Scott D. Wilson, P.Eng.

No team ever won the Super Bowl with a coach who only criticized and punished their players. No Olympian ever grabbed the gold because they were driven by the fear of defeat and condemnation. Why then do so many of us think we can succeed by effectively using these same methods with ourselves? Frequently folks act like they can mentally beat themselves into submission. Whether it is our steps towards success in our careers or improving our health, it seems that a lot folks think that using an inner drill sergeant will somehow create the discipline that they seek in their lives.

Perhaps it is the ‘drill sergeant’ mythology from films like “Officer and a Gentleman” that has created this belief within us. Such films paint the picture of an antagonistic and harsh character who teaches the film’s hero the value of discipline, honour and self-sacrifice. While there is a time and place for the harsh treatment of a marine drill sergeant, I believe that most of us take these actions out of context.

Punishment is used to move us away from something; psychologists refer to punishment as negative reinforcement. However, punishment does not serve well to move us towards a goal. The harshness of the classic drill sergeant is used to break down independence because self-reliance in a war will get a person and their team killed. It is a drill sergeant’s job to take undisciplined and self-centered young people and form them into a strong healthy supportive team so they can rely on each other and survive under the harsh circumstances of war. The vicious words and actions of the sergeant have little to do with coaching the success of individuals. These severe actions are aimed to discourage individuality and encourage teamwork and interdependence. As individuals, using this method on ourselves to reach our goals will generally lead to discouragement and desperation.

Scientists in the field of Human Performance have long studied the best means for managing and improving behaviour. The results of their studies are clear: the use of positive reinforcements should far outweigh any negatives ones or punishments. Sports psychologists and researchers have determined that 80-90% of all coaching should involve positive reinforcement. Why then do so many people seem to feel that they can whip themselves into shape? From what I can see, it simply appears to be an erroneous belief that is a common part of our culture. It seems something akin to an ‘old wive’s tale.’

If we seek to succeed then it is clear that we must shed our unhealthy punitive mindset. In the study of performance improvement the best way to develop better actions is to reinforce desirable behaviours by applying positive reinforcement. Positive reinforcements are best termed as ‘rewards.’ Anything can be used for positive reinforcement: praise, incentives, money, gifts, actions, social status, et cetera. Rewards are very personal and need to be tailored to specific individuals. If we are seeking to motivate ourselves then we must find meaningful ways to reward ourselves when we take constructive actions towards our goals. Furthermore behavioural theorists have shown that the sooner a reward can be applied to a desired behavior the higher the chance that the individual will repeat this behaviour.

For example, a person who is seeking to lose weight might want to focus on the goal of logging food. Every time they complete a food log after a meal the person could reward themselves by having a chart that they tick off that will lead to a specific reward. Every time the person logs their food they will be visually rewarded by seeing that they are approaching a tangible goal. This method provides both an immediate and a long term goal.

So in short, we need to silence out inner drill sergeants. When we fail we need to quiet our self-criticism and practice gentle self-acceptance. We are not accepting our errors nor condoning our poor behaviour. We are merely acknowledging that we are human and not yet where we want to be. We are giving ourselves permission to make mistakes and learn from them. Next, we need to find out what acts as a reward for us and use it regularly to reinforce our positive choices and actions. If we follow this plan we can finally lose our minds… our punitive minds!

A Flash of No-Regret

A Flash of No-Regret
©2015 Scott D. Wilson,P.Eng.

Despite the best of intentions through most of our life, most of us carry some regret. Today, I was given an incredible gift. Before I simply blurt it out I should offer some context.

From Friday evening until Saturday's setting sun is my time of rest. I do my best to spend this time with family and friends in rest, recreation and leisure. Sure, I putter around the house doing chores and repairs but these are labours of love, not my livelihood.

And so today I was chatting with my two adult children and watching old music videos from the 80's. It was during one such video that I was transported back briefly and for one flickering moment I was 17 year-old Scott. I wore his clothes, his shoes, his hair. I saw the choices of his life before him. I saw the beauty by his side who would one day become his bride. And then in a brief moment I rushed forward through my life until I was back sitting in my kitchen with my kids.

In that short ephemeral vision I passed through all my choices in life. I saw my victories, my defeats, my successes and my failures. I experienced all my choices again - both the 'good' and the 'bad'. And I realized that all my actions brought me to this simple time of pleasure with my eldest son and daughter. Right now, everything is pretty well ok. So how could and of those choices been all that bad?

In that instant I had great empathy for all those Scotts of the past. I saw the choices they made with the knowledge, wisdom and experience that life had afforded them. They were good men doing their best with what they had. I do not know if words can convey the love and compassion that I was suddenly able to feel towards my past selves.  I understood how foolish it was to regret past 'mistakes' or 'poor' choices. To change those choices would lead to a now that I might believe would have been better but truth be told, it could easily have been far worse. Perchance the choices that would have made me rich back then would have left me miserable now. Who is to say?

We do not know now how the choices we make today will play out. We seek actions to bring about the best consequences but nothing is guaranteed. Soren Kierkegaard once said "Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards."  It is with understanding that we must release regret.

Regret only robs our present moments of joy and peace. Regret has no value in helping us to move forward towards our goals. Regret makes us harshly judge our past choices and it paralyzes our present ones. If you are one who struggles with regrets then realize today how futile it is. Your past 'errors' may be responsible for some of the best things in your present. Have compassion for your past selves. Forgive them. And with that in your heart and mind root yourself here and now and bravely face the future that your next choices will create!!