What if…

What if… 

“Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” –Thomas A. Edison

These are some very haunting words. The line between succeeding and failing is truly razor thin. I sometimes get goose bumps when I reflectively consider the possible impact upon our world had some of our greatest pioneers and people given up when they encountered opposition, adversity or a pressure to conform. Imagine a world under the following conditions:

What if… Arthur and Kate Keller had followed common practice in the late 1800’s and placed their deaf and blind daughter in institutional care?

What if… in 1890 Marie Curie had accepted the Polish prohibition of women from university education, never joining the clandestine Flying University?

What if… Steve Job had cut his losses in 1986 after having been kicked out of Apple and NeXT Inc. was on the ropes, never looking at Pixar?

What if… Isaac Newton had listened to his mother and remained a farmer?

What if… J.K. Rowling had given up writing while struggling on welfare?

What if… Walt Disney had believed the editor in 1919 who fired him because he “lacked imagination and had no good ideas.”

I could list countless examples like these. Each of these people had moments where they could have stopped following their dreams or given up on themselves. No one would have condemned them. Everyone would have understood. History would have simply rolled on without them. It chills me further to realize that there likely are some minds and hearts like these that have already quit and deprived us of their amazing innovations and ideas. We likely will never know what we have lost.

What does Edison’s warning say about us and our own efforts when we consider quitting? How close are we to finding success? Is that last failure our breaking point or the one just before our breakthrough? Is there a mother lode of triumph buried inside us just beneath that last stinging defeat? If we give up then we will never truly know. Our own greatness may not shine brightly before the world like that of the people I listed above. Yet it would remain an equally great tragedy for any of us to live our lives with our noblest potential undiscovered, undeveloped and unachieved.

In this life when it comes to our own success, it is always too early to quit and never too late to get up and keep going.


©2017 S.D.Wilson

Can, Do and Will

•••••Can, Do and Will•••••

This morning I woke up with an idea in my head that I could not shake.  Who we choose to listen to and the ideas that we consider and adopt make all the difference in the world.  I have followed some bad advice and wasted my efforts on some poor ideas in my time!  Likewise, I have been blessed by some wise people and been given some sage instruction.  In time, I have become much better at discerning the difference between wisdom and folly, or at least I hope so.

So I then considered how I might help others to avoid some of my foolish paths and instead choose more advantageous counsel.  I wondered if there were a good litmus test that I could conceive of which could then be applied to the many words of the people around us who seek to offer us direction on the matters of our life and our dreams.  Is there a good way to carefully consider the statements of others?  From my brief morning reflection on my life experiences, I devised the following:

“Do not heed the words of those who can’t, won’t or don’t.
Listen to advice of those who can, will and do!”

When it comes to following dreams and making our goals into reality we are best served by the thoughts, observations and advice of those whose lives embody the words ‘can,’ ‘will’ and ‘do.’ Can – exemplifies optimist and belief.  Will – shows both willingness and intention.  Do – demonstrates taking decisive constructive action.  It is those people who have had the greatest positive impact on my life!  On the negative side, it has always been the ones who couldn’t, wouldn’t and didn’t whose ideas and opinions resulted in the poorest outcomes for me.

So there it is in a nutshell: two sentences that I believe will serve us well in filtering the worthiness of the advice that is thrown at us daily.  On a similar note, I hope that my own advice here and the life that I strive to live ultimately passes the same test!

Cheers!

©2017 Scott D. Wilson

Critics for Breakfast

Critics for Breakfast

 “There is only one way to avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing and be nothing.” –Aristotle

Criticism, it comes from many sources:  friends, family, strangers and even ourselves.  Rarely a day goes by where I do not see posts on here where someone has not been stung in some way by a judgmental thought.  Noble Aristotle makes a very wise point here.  We seem to face criticism for what we do, what we say, what think and what we are.   So we can avoid criticism.  We can largely avoid the slings and arrows of our fellow man and woman: do nothing, say nothing and be nothing. They can’t critique a target that isn’t there.

Or we can accept that there is a cost to becoming something more than we are today.  We can acknowledge that there will always be a source of disparaging thoughts and comments that will be sent in our way as long as we strive for to be better.  We can understand that everyone who advanced was met with detractors and naysayers.  We can know in our hearts and our spirits that mere negative words will be part of the price that we gladly pay to become far more than nothing! Then turn the negatives around with your resolve. Let their “No, you can’t.” be the fuel for your “Oh yes, I can!”

Here’s to a day filled with our potential, bring on the critics…I’m hungry!

©2017 S.D. Wilson

What if I?

What if I?

One unremarkable day
In an unremarkable year
In an unremarkable place
In an unremarkable house
That an unremarkable person
Did a remarkable thing
He wondered “What if I?”
And he didn’t stop.
It made all the difference in the world.

What if I can do more?
What if I have something unique to offer the world?
What if I *can* change?
What if I can let go of my past and begin something new and different?
What if I forgive myself and others?
What if I can overcome my circumstances?
What if I believed in myself?
What if I can be better today than I was yesterday?
What if I no longer wait for the right time?
What if I have failed but I am not truly a failure?
What if I stop making excuses?
What if I quit looking at obstacles and start seeking opportunities?
What if I accept myself as I am right now?
What if I face my fears?
What if I follow love?
What if I begin working on my dream?
What if I start NOW?

And then they DID!
They changed their world...
And then they changed ours!!

©2016 SD Wilson

Anticipate Weakness

Anticipate Weakness

©2015 Scott D. Wilson,P.Eng.

 

No matter what noble goal we pursue there will come moments of weakness where will we be tempted to throw in the towel or to simply derail our progress by doing something counter-productive.  For the person trying to lose weight it will be that time late at night, fatigued, lonely and down. That will be when the refrigerator or the cookie jar will sing with its irresistible siren song.  For the new entrepreneur it can be around the time that the novelty wears off, enthusiasm peters out and their confidence begins to wane. Or perhaps the feeling of despair sets in when the first significant challenge rears its head and seems insurmountable.   In short, the urges to give in and give up are pretty well universal to all who set goals and set out to succeed.

 

The lesson is that everyone falls prey to moments of weakness so we should anticipate these moments and do our best to prepare for them.  When we set out we always envision ourselves motivated and energized from that point onward.  This is an unrealistic expectation of ourselves.  We need to be kinder to our future selves and help them prepare for the moments of weakness and temptation.  Under present conditions we need to empathize with those under the strain to conform and to take the path of least resistance.  What tools could we give them to help them succeed?  What information could help them to stay positive and motivated to continue?  It is best to ask these questions now when there is no pressure or urgency.

 

If we each had an enemy that we knew was going to attack us some time in the future where we are at our weakest then we would be crazy not to take precautions against them.  We might hire security, train in self-defence, purchase weapons, travel in groups for safety or some other protective measures.  We would certainly not ignore the future threat.  In this case we are actually being pursued by an extremely dangerous enemy and that enemy is ourselves.  We know that they will hit us when we are most vulnerable so it makes sense to prepare now while we are strong.

 

There is another way to understand this idea in concrete terms.  We do our best to maintain our vehicles.  Nonetheless, many of us keep emergency kits in the car so that the effect of unexpected breakdowns is minimized.  Likewise, it is prudent to have disaster kits in our homes for emergencies and first aid.  It would be unwise to start a long quest in the wilderness without a survival pack.  I am suggesting something similar here.  We need to prepare a kind of emergency kit for motivation and determination.  For example, our midnight snacker might pack a distraction in their kit.  They think of food while bored and lonely so the kit might be a game or book or movie or something that they would enjoy more than a snack.  Reserve this item specifically for emergencies so that it is a truly worthwhile distraction.

 

Whether dieting or starting a new business  or any self-improvement goal, the emergency kit will need to be personal and it will need to help keep us in the right direction.  There is no one pat answer that will help for everyone.  Our entrepreneur might write down a list of reasons why they want to pursue their business and keep it in their kit.  Another might list all their talents and assets that support their goal.  Still another might keep recommendations and commendations from various sources that affirm their objectives.  The point is to get creative.  Use pictures, videos, songs, audio, mementos, cash, a list of friends to call, special objects… anything that will shore you up and help you to stay the course when your moments of weakness hit.  The effectiveness of your emergency kit will be proportional to the effort that you put into it while preparing. It also goes somewhat without saying but remember that this is an emergency kit.  It is to be used as weapon of last resort. The more it is used the less effective it will become.  This device is to help you when you are most in need of it.

 

I should also mention that our emergency kit does not necessarily need to be physical.  Martial artists train in repetitive cycles call katas, taolu or forms.  It is this repetition that prepares them to act appropriately when encountering an enemy.  This training and preparation is done when no threats are present.  It allows the people to be prepared and confident when a real opponent strikes.  Since we are talking about mental and emotional battles with ourselves then the fight will be taking place in our mind so it is there where we can also make preparations.  Mottos, maxims, prayers and quotes that reverberate within us can also serve to bolster us when weakness hits.  Again, these are personal so each one of needs to find something that we can repeatedly bring to mind that will help our thoughts, our spirits and our hearts.

My point in this diatribe is to encourage you to anticipate the worst in yourself.  Do not hold unrealistic expectation of your abilities and motivation.  Humbly admit your weaknesses and failings.  We all suffer from self-doubt and loneliness at different times.  Nobody alive is free from temptation.  However, these darkest hours need not be our downfall if we anticipate and prepare for them.  Take the time today while you are in a good place and your goals are clear and certain.  Work and plan to help yourself to remain on course for your goals when the windy trials and tribulations of life seek to shipwreck you and blow you off course! 

An Impoverished Mind

An Impoverished Mind

©Scott Wilson 2015

 

North America is by all measures a country of prosperity and abundance. Food is plentiful and inexpensive. Economical energy sources of all types abound. Our land is rife with natural resources. For centuries North America has been labelled "the Land of Opportunity." Modern living affords us more leisure time and more entertainments than any of our forefathers could have ever hoped to obtain. Indeed, compared with much of the rest of the world we are living amidst luxury, wealth and opulence.

 

Why then does it seem that most of us tend to think in terms of deficit? Our society is rife with individuals who feel that they do not have enough money, or possessions, or time. Rare is the man or woman who considers themself to be rich. Our attention is drawn towards that which seems to be missing instead of that which we have already received and currently possess. It would appear that our hearts and minds are truly impoverished. Advertisers profit from this thinking, pointing out how we need their products to genuinely fulfill us.

 

Perhaps we inherited this thinking from our parents and grandparents who suffered through the Great Depression. They were the first generation on this continent to experience a serious lack of abundance. Their fears seem to have given rise to the general angst and longing that pervades our present culture. As the speed and reach of our communications has become instant and global mankind has begun to sense its limitations. We wonder and worry that our lonely planet may not have the energy and resources to allow our continued prosperity.

 

I believe it would benefit us to question this pervasive mindset of poverty. By all reckoning this universe appears to be vast and infinite. There is no reason to believe that mankind cannot continue to advance and improve our use of the unending energy and materials that surround us. In addition to this physical view we would also benefit by questioning the relative importance of material wealth in our life journeys.

 

In my studies of successful people I have found various commonalities of outlook and thought.  One common factor that I have noticed about those whom we deem successful is that they tend to think in terms of abundance, not deficit.  They see opportunity everywhere, even in their failures!  Motivational writer and instructor Earl Nightingale described this abundant thinking best with these words “Don’t concern yourself with the money. Be of service. Build. Work. Dream. Create. Do this and you’ll find that there is no limit to the prosperity and abundance that will come to you.”  To those with a winning mindset, the world is rich with success; all they have to do is persevere to obtain it. Successful people live and act as is there is always enough for everyone and that they have but to claim their share.

 

The prosperous build growth upon growth, strength upon strength.  They see and understand weakness and loss but these are not their primary focus.  These positive people remain doggedly fixed on their objectives. As that old Frank Sinatra’s song goes, they have ‘high hopes.’  It is this outlook that we should seek for ourselves if we too wish to partake of similar successes in our own lives.

 

Look at your goals and objectives.  Are you lacking cash, time, resources, information, experience or anything else that you need to obtain what you envision?  Do not let these become anchors and barriers to you.  Look at what you *do* have and build upon it.  See the areas of success in your own life and amplify them.  Understand that the universe is filled with resources that can become yours to command if you allow yourself to see the very real opportunities that surround you.  If you truly seek to succeed then you need to lose your impoverished mind!

“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.” –Winston Churchill

"Some people are so poor, all they have is money." –Patrick Meagher

Zen and the Art of Lodging a Successful Complaint: 10 Simple Tips

Zen and the Art of Lodging a Successful Complaint: 10 Simple Tips

©Scott D. Wilson 2014

At first blush one might think this strange topic of discussion. The reality is that in this life everybody needs to lodge a complaint at some point in time. I am not advocating the habit of griping. It is well recognized that habitual complaining is an unhealthy practice that hurts our emotional and mental well-being. But every so often we must stand up and seek correction for problems that others have created for us. It is to this end that I speak and offer...

Ten Tips for a Successful Complaint 

#1 Keep the goal in mind!

First off, keep in mind that the objective of your complaint is to obtain a remedy from your intended audience. Your words and actions must not sabotage or jeopardize this simple goal!  You will need as many allies as you can to gain this objective so do not make unnecessary adversaries.

#2 Keep it civil & remain gracious

Every person that you encounter, whether in writing, in person or on the phone could be the one who solves your problem.  Being gracious keeps others at ease and relaxed. If the individual feels safe then he or she will not become defensive and resistant to your request for assistance. The minute you indulge in angry behaviour you will begin to lose influence in the situation. No matter how you are treated remain above reproach. Nobody likes a bully so don't become one. 

#3 Win their empathy

You don't just want the person helping you to merely understand your situation.  You want them to empathize with your concern.  Explain to them why you chose their product or service.  Make them understand your reasons for choosing their company instead of someone else.  If you are a long time loyal customer then make that clear to them.  You used their service or bought their merchandise for some reason.  Tell them the things that you like or even love about their brand and their products.

They are not dealing with a disgruntled and hostile customer.  They are dealing with loyal but frustrated friend who believes in them and their company.  When you finally need to explain your problem use words that show that you expect them to know how you are feeling:

• You understand how it would be to have this happen...
• You can imagine how I felt when...
• If you had this happen to you I know that you would feel..

If this is not your first encounter to correct the situation explain clearly and calmly the steps that you took to seek help and the response that you have received so far. Remember, you are trying to make them understand and relate to you and the matter that you wish to remedy.

#4 Stay on their side

Whatever happens, do not become hostile.  Service personnel deal every day with angry and hostile customers and it is not pleasant for them.  People avoid that which is unpleasant.  If they believe that you are against them then they have a huge uphill battle to win you back as a satisfied customer. 

If you remain confident that they can satisfy you and express your belief that they can address your problem then they will remain engaged and continue to seek avenues assist you.  They do not want to lose someone who is on their side.  They know that making unsatisfied will cost them now and possibly future business and reputation.  Good businesses seek to protect their reputations.

#5 Help them to help you

Again, explain clearly and with as little blame as possible the situation that you wish to correct.  Remember the objective.  You bought the item or service for some specific purpose; maybe they can offer something else that still meets or even exceeds your needs.  If you are speaking directly with someone then perhaps you can brainstorm options with them.

For example, if you have a broken widget and you want them to correct this then ask them about various replacement options.  Perhaps they could strike a deal where you upgraded to a different or more powerful widget that still meets your needs for very little or no extra expense.

#6 Flattery will get you everywhere

The people that you are dealing with are used to being abused by irate customers.  They develop a kind of hardened shell against criticism and insults.  In contrast, they are are put off balance by people who compliment them and empathize with their situation.  Often these people are given a script that they have to follow and they may feel somewhat impotent in their ability to satisfy your needs.

Bear in mind that these service personnel usually have a limited power to provide solutions so they will appreciate when you empathize with their frustrations.  Many of the people in these positions are trying their best to offer assistance.  Be honest in your appreciation of their efforts to help you.

#7 Find the person with the power & don't be afraid to go to the top

Sometimes the person you are dealing with does not have the power to fix your problem.  If the person is honest with you and admits as much then be understanding but ask if there is a way to get to someone with more authority.  Many companies have Customer Retention groups who have the power to authorize much greater discounts or replacements.  If you have done your utmost and exhausted most of your options then consider moving to the top. 

There are ways to get the e-mail addresses of Vice Presidents, Presidents and CEOs.  Here in Canada the Industry Canada web site sometimes lists the contact information for the principle officers of corporations.  If you are direct and polite you may be pleasantly surprised by the responses that you receive from these powerful executives. 

#8 Be reasonable and flexible - negotiate

Every issue is different. Pay attention to the context of your problem. You may start by expecting the party that you are speaking to provide a complete refund or replacement.  That may not be practical or even possible. Try to see the matter from the perspective of the company with which you are dealing.  Be prepared to think sideways. Instead of providing like for like they might propose something similar or related. 

For example, a cellular company might offer a different brand of phone to replace your device or they may offer a lesser phone but provide instead a lot of normally expensive services for free.   Weigh the offers carefully. Remember, being reasonable and flexible will allow the other parties the leeway to move and come up with creative alternatives. 

#9 Get creative - use leverage as a last resort

If you know that the corporation that you are dealing with has another service or product that you need or use then perhaps try negotiating for an equal value alternative to your original purchase.  You are looking to remedy a problem with something that you purchased. Remedy comes in many forms. 

When negotiating get creative. Does your personal network lend you any leverage?  Are you a member of an organization that could influence the company that you are dealing with?  Do you know media personnel or groups that would be interested in your story?  If the answer to any of these questions is 'yes' then tread lightly. Anything that may be viewed as threatening to their reputation evokes defensive behaviour and makes negotiations adversarial. You would no longer be on their side.  Introduce this kind of leverage only if nothing else has yielded results. In the end be prepared to follow through; don't make empty statements about your influence. 

#10 Be generous with gratitude and praise when you succeed

When you have had bad service I am sure that many of you have written bad online reviews or shared your poor experience on social media. Virtually everyone knows the video and song "United Breaks Guitars."  Well, all too often we forget that the opposite should be equally important. If you have managed to get a good resolution then you should be equally open with praise. Write and tell the people that you have dealt with about your experience. Keep it positive and offer genuine praise.  Remember your parent's admonition to always say thank-you.  Not only is this the right thing to do, it will also pay dividends for all future interactions with this group

I hope these tips have helped you.  If you use them and get results please let me know.  I am eager to get feedback as they have served me very well over the years!

How are your investment paying?

How are your investments paying?
©Scott D. Wilson 2014

“We are all self-made, but only the successful will admit it.” – Earl Nightingale

 

All over the internet and on television there are investment companies promising great returns on your investments. Friends in social setting will often ask each other how their investments are doing and trade strategies on this stock or that mutual fund. People certainly spend a good deal of time and effort tending to their money while a much more valuable asset goes unattended: themselves.

 

Do not get me wrong. Wise money management is not wasted and money itself is obviously valuable because it represents our time and effort. What I simply wish to speak to is the matter of time itself. Realistically, we each are allotted a finite amount of time on this wondrous planet. To ignore the reality of our eventual death is foolish. Likewise, we are given one body in which to make this journey and one mind to navigate its course.

 

Like money we can chose to spend or invest our precious time on various pursuits. We carefully chose to invest in property and various assets. Since we deem these items valuable we spend time tending, maintaining and repairing them. Yet our most precious properties are arguably our bodies, minds and spirits. Yet these appear to be our society’s most neglected assets.

 

We can purchase new houses, cars and other valuables, but our bodies and minds are irreplaceable. The sad reality is that they come to us for free and as such we place little value on them. We take them for granted. I cannot say this better than Earl Nightingale did in his wise discourse “The Strangest Secret”:

 

“The problem is that our mind comes as standard equipment at birth. It’s free. And things that are given to us for nothing, we place little value on. Things that we pay money for, we value.

 

The paradox is that exactly the reverse is true. Everything that’s really worthwhile in life came to us free — our minds, our souls, our bodies, our hopes, our dreams, our ambitions, our intelligence, our love of family and children and friends and country. All these priceless possessions are free.”

If you accept this premise then you should seriously consider how you are tending your greatest asset: yourself. You may well wonder how it is that you could invest in yourself.

 

Clearly your body is the most obvious treasure that you can nurture in meaningful ways. It is your responsibility to give your body proper amounts of good food, keep it sufficiently active and provide it with adequate rest. Many of us fail here on various levels. As with any responsibility the key to improvement is to make no excuses and to take action to learn control of our food, activity and rest. Be honest with yourself; set and work on the proper goals for one’s health.

 

It seems to me that mankind’s most neglected assets in our modern age is our minds and our spirits. This time is filled with the most marvelous entertainments and distractions. The problem is that these marvels are literally disconnecting us from our very lives. We often spend an inordinate number of hours watching and reading about what amounts to other people’s lives rather than attending to our own.

 

Our spirits crave real physical connections with our surroundings and our society and we feed them with anemic virtual online relationships. Psychologists have done studies around the healthy need for physical connections. One such study showed that the simple friendly act of hugging has tremendous health effects on people including lowering average heart rate.   Countless different scientific reviews have discovered incredible benefits for families who regularly eat together. There are many simple things that we can do to feed our spirits and enrich our lives if we are willing to routinely break from our virtual enticements.  

 

Not everyone is an intellectual but everyone should be learning and growing from day to day. However, how many of us actually spend the needed time it takes to expand our minds or to learn new skills and to grow as people? It is good to have hobbies that you pursue with a passion. When you can’t take time to read books on self-improvement you could listen to audio books and podcasts that challenge your mind and our spirit to grow.

 

We humans are innately creative in an infinite number of ways. Yet so few of us are willing to sit quietly with ourselves to ponder some of our significant concerns in a creative manner.

 

I challenge you to pick one issue in your life and let your mind simply freely create answers. Write down whatever comes to mind no matter how absurd it may sound. Do this for five to ten minutes or longer. Once finished, let if go until you have another quiet time to look at your answers. In that time pick one answer that you think you can work with and then let your creative mind loose on ways to achieve that solution. Keep going until you find actions that you can start working on and then turn those into goals. It is that simple but many do not find it easy.  

 

I have provided only a few easy examples as to how you could begin investing in yourself. There are many, many different ways to do this. Find some that suit you in particular. To this end I will provide a list of some very good reverences below. Look at how you are literally spending your life. A few minutes invested on yourself daily may be all you need to gain confidence in yourself and realize that some of your dreams are not too late or too far. I guarantee that if you make some regular dates with yourself to care for your body, mind and spirit that the investment will pay you back with amazing dividends!!

So now that I have explained myself, I ask you “How are your investments paying?”!!


 

Body Resources:

Better physical health and improved activity (site and the associated smartphone apps)
Website:  http://www.loseit.com
You will also find some encouragement too!

 

 

To improve your mental and/or physical health

Website: https://www.superbetter.com/

This is a site that turns health into fun gameplay.

 

Mind and Spirit Resources:

Books & Authors:

Journey of learning and self-discovery

“Way of the Peaceful Warrior” by Dan Millman

Consider also Dan’s other books and resources:   http://www.peacefulwarrior.com

 

Motivation and self-improvement

“The Strangest Secret” by Earl Nightingale

Free copy here: http://www.nightingale.com/articles/the-strangest-secret/

Also recommend Earl Nightingales other books such as “Lead The Field”

 

Working with others and self-improvement

“How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie

Like Earl Nightingale, Dale Carnegie has a wealth of knowledge so consider also his other books such as “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living”

Website: http://www.dalecarnegie.ca/

 

Understanding communication and being a better communicator

“What Every Body Is Saying” by Joe Navarro

Website: http://www.jnforensics.com/  

Podcasts and Blogs:

Inspiration and Innovations (videos and podcasts)

TED Talks

Website: http://www.TED.com/

Watch and listen to inspiring people and ideas. TED – Ideas worth spreading!

 

Coaching, self-improvement and motivation (website/blog/podcast)

“Make Your Someday Today”” by Trevor LaRene

Website:  http://makeyoursomedaytoday.com/

An excellent resource for the person trying to figure out how to realize their goals!

 

Innovation, entrepreneurship & self-improvement (website/blog/podcast)

“Inspiring Innovation” by Meron Bareket

Website: http://meronbareket.com/

An amazing fellow who continues to help others with his blogs, podcasts and workshops.

 

Entrepreneurship, motivation & self-improvement (website/blog/podcast)

“Entrepreneur on Fire” by John Lee Dumas

Website: http://www.entrepreneuronfire.com/

An awesome place to find ideas about just about every form for business enterprise!

 

Time management and entrepreneurship (website/blog/podcast)

“Time Hackers” by Julie Sheranosher

Website:  http://imjulie.com/

If you need more time then Julie can help you find it… and more!

 

Classic Texts (available free across the Internet)

“The Art of War” by Sun Tzu

Understanding the art of managing conflict.

 

“Tao Te Ching” by Lao Tsu

“The Way of Power” – Learn the principles of the martial art of life!

 

“The Bible” by YHWH

Read it again for the first time!!!

Finding 'Why'

Finding ʽWhy ʼ

©Scott D. Wilson 2014

"Where there is no vision, the people perish" – Proverbs 29:18

Lately, I encounter a lot of people who tell me, "I need more motivation." This common lament troubles me. An entire industry has built itself out of this apparently common need. Motivational speakers, talk shows, podcasts and blogs abound. Just as people crave teachers and coaches to tell them how life works, so to do they seem to seek people to explain their lives and give them meaning. I am concerned by this.

It is quite one thing for people to seek better understanding of the universe around them. That is natural. When confronted with the infinite frontiers of knowledge it is simple wisdom to acknowledge that mankind remains largely ignorant. As humanity has exponentially increased its knowledge in recent decades it has equally discovered how infinitely vast is the knowledge still left to be discovered. We are definitely in need of wise discoverers, teachers and coaches.

Motivation, however, does not deal with knowledge about the workings of this world. Motivation is defined as the reason for a person’s action. In short, motivation is about the workings of ourselves. It is about our 'why'. There are many things that we can learn from others but purpose is not one of them. Nothing is more personal than the reasons why we do anything and our motives are as valuable as our actions.

As important as our actions are to others and the world around us, our motives are of greatest importance, especially to ourselves. For example, doing good is significant but doing good for the right motives is crucial. In this example if you give to others continually expecting for it to be returned to you then you are not giving unconditionally and you will soon become disenchanted and jaded by life's returns. If your giving is from your own abundance and generosity, seeking no personal gain, only then will the true satisfaction and reward of giving return to you. Thus your motivation is of great significance.

When I have encountered those who are seeking motivation their statements are inevitably paired with some personal failure. It seems evident to me that they lack an understanding of themselves and it is sabotaging their efforts to improve. This is why I chose the opening quote from Proverbs 29:18. Those seeking motivation seem to lack a vision of themselves and are 'perishing' in achieving their goals.

These people who share their motivational problems with me seem unsure of what drives them and unfortunately they look outside to find their own ‘why’. They seek maps to themselves and hope that others can supply them. Unfortunately, many people, both spiritual and secular make the claim that they can deliver this meaning. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Since no one can live your life for you then you should not let anyone tell why to do anything! Quietly listen your own heart and mind. They will tell you why. Each of our lives is amazingly unique. Our genetics, our parents, our society, when and where we are born, our life experiences, our thoughts and emotions all work together create the specific person that we are right now.

No one will ever fully understand what it means to be you. We each need to discover why we are here. We each have unique passions that bring us joy and meaning. Several wise cultures have called this 'a path with heart' and we each are responsible to find our own. The answers that others have found for themselves will not necessarily work for us. There is no ‘one size fits all’ solution.

Look inside and find your own answers as to why you do what you do. Let go of who you think that you are and listen to your thoughts, your emotions and your life; they will honestly teach you about yourself. Bravely face the uncomfortable lessons that they will deliver. You will likely be surprised.

The truth that we learn about ourselves is often mixed. For example, you may learn that you are impatient but you may also discover that you are generous and kind. We may also discover that our desires and passions lie in areas that we have feared to tread. The most important thing is that you listen without judging yourself. Be gentle.

Learn your ‘why’. Find your unique purpose. This is true for every goal that you set in your life. Whether it is fitness and weight loss or a financial goal, you need to know uniquely why you are doing it. And to this end, I also recommend that you regularly remind yourself of your ‘why’. We are forgetful people and we often lose motivation because the emotions and thoughts that first impelled us fade with time.

Throughout time the wise spiritual traditions have used the concept of touchstones to remind us of our purpose. For example, in the Bible, when the God of the Hebrews created the nation of Israel, he instructed them to carry stones from the land of their wandering into the their new land of promise. These stones formed a monument that the people and their offspring used to remind them of their bondage that they fled, their deliverance and why they wandered for so long. It reminded them why they were a nation.

When you find your purpose it is very helpful to create a meaningful touchstone so that when your motivation fails that you literally have something to see and touch that will remind you of your purpose. It should touch your heart and mind, spirit and it should speak uniquely to you.

For example, if you are working towards a financial goal you might write a cheque to yourself with the amount of money that you wish to obtain. Under the 'For' section of the cheque you could write your motivations like 'security for my family' or 'to give to a certain cause.' You could then place the cheque in your wallet and when your resolve weakens you could look at it and remind yourself why you are making this effort. In the end, your specific touchstone will be as unique as your reasons ‘why’.

The important thing is to brave enough to listen to your heart, mind and life to discover who you are and why you do what you do. Stop looking outside for your motivation. When you find your purpose take the same time and bravery to discover something that will help you to remember it. It is that simple but it won’t be easy and it will be worth it!

When Life Says 'No'

When Life Says 'No'

©Scott D. Wilson 2014




Today's theme song is:


"Bless the Broken Road" by Rascal Flatts

Admittedly, this song is primarily about romantic love.  However, one can also look at it from several angles.  For example, from a spiritual perspective, the singer could be speaking about the failed paths that eventually led him to a relationship with his Creator. 


I can personally see various different ways to view this song. The lesson that I choose take from this ballad is that life sometimes says 'no' and that is not always a bad thing. 

Like romantic love, we often pursue noble goals in life with all our heart and soul.  Sometimes they work out, but occasionally they can be savagely ripped away from us:
 
- The wife who works hard to forge a family and home only to be betrayed by a faithless spouse

- The loyal company worker who gives his very life for his company and then is one day unceremoniously forced into early retirement


- The middle-aged couple whose only child is killed by a reckless driver

Pain and loss are naturally felt.  However, it is how we choose to handle these setbacks that makes them either blessings or curses in the long run.

I have seen live shattered by horrific circumstances at many stages of life. Yet I stand amazed when time and time again the human spirit rises above such tragedy like a phoenix from the ashes and brings forth incredible good.

This is the perspective that we must strive for when life seems to slam the door in our face.  Every end can become a new beginning while we still draw breath.  'No' in one area may be 'yes' in another one that we may never have dreamed of before.  We simply need to look on life with new eyes.  We must have the courage to let go and accept an ending.  Then we might learn to embrace new and unexplored possibilities.

Today, look back on life.  How often did 'no' turn into a door to something better?  Remember these times.  Are you facing something now that is painful and seems so unfair?  Take a moment someplace safe and quiet and look away from the problem.  Consider all the things that you sill may possess such as health, family, friends, talents, faith and much more.  Can you see a possible 'yes' somewhere on the distant horizon?  If so, take today to be brave - change course and set sail to a new destination!!