Denying Leadership - the Perils

Denying Leadership - the Perils

©2015 Scott D. Wilson

 

Do you want to be successful?  Do you want to be a leader?  If you answered ‘yes’ to the first question then you better have answered ‘yes’ to the second one as well.  “But I don’t want to lead anyone!” you may protest.  My response to you is “Too bad, get used to it!”  I used to be exactly like you.  I thought I could be successful all on my own, away from the crowds and the rest of the world.  I did not want to be a leader.  To be a leader means having followers and to me that seemed like an unnecessary responsibility and hassle.

However, if one is serious about success then one needs to look at what exactly it means to succeed.  Put simply, success at its most basic level is merely setting a goal and through effort, measurably achieving it.  For example, in weight loss, one usually gauges success by achieving a given body weight or fat percentage.  Unless one is losing an insignificant amount of weight then achieving this goal will take significant determination and the effects will be noticeable.  If one succeeds there will be people who have known the individual who will ask about their method and the key to their achievement.  Remember, many people try unsuccessfully to lose weight.  Actually losing weight would put this person in the small group of leaders that has attained the desired goal.

In most worthwhile ventures you will likely seek the help and expertise of others with experience or knowledge that will aid you in your quest.  As a seeker you will understand the need for leaders to help those along the path.  As you gain your own knowledge and experience in any field this will eventually make you a leader in that area. If you have received help it will be natural to want to return this help to those who seek to follow towards the same goal.  This is basic leadership.

Whatever the nature of what you strive for, when you attain your goals people will in all likelihood notice.  Success stands out amid the struggling crowds.  Visible change is generally required to reach our various goals.  Change and difference are noticeable amid this largely mundane world.  Succeeding at virtually anything draws the attention of others.

If success were commonplace then there would be little need for leaders, but real achievement is sufficiently rare that it demands leadership from those who attain their goals.  Even those new to success need to acknowledge their leadership.   Leaders are required… even those who might be inexperienced in success and those who are still avidly learning!  Perfection and mastery are not perquisites for leadership.

If you are proving yourself and making developments in some endeavour then people will start to look to you as an expert in the subject.  Success and leadership go hand in hand.  Denying leadership is to deny success.

This does not mean that we seek leadership to in the hopes of creating success.  Being successful generates leadership but leadership does not necessarily breed success. This does however mean that we should not reject or deny leadership as we win ground in our personal efforts.  We need to become comfortable with others looking up to us and seeking advice or guidance.  This is a natural by-product of achievement.

Though our personal goals may pertain only to our own development and improvement we need to be aware that this can and will alter who we are and how we are perceived by others.  And this is ok.  Being followed is not to be dreaded.  Humbly accept that your own success can fuel and inspire the dreams, hopes and efforts of others.  And if by some odd chance someone uses your guidance to motivate their own success then perchance one day you might paradoxically choose to follow their leadership!

How are your investment paying?

How are your investments paying?
©Scott D. Wilson 2014

“We are all self-made, but only the successful will admit it.” – Earl Nightingale

 

All over the internet and on television there are investment companies promising great returns on your investments. Friends in social setting will often ask each other how their investments are doing and trade strategies on this stock or that mutual fund. People certainly spend a good deal of time and effort tending to their money while a much more valuable asset goes unattended: themselves.

 

Do not get me wrong. Wise money management is not wasted and money itself is obviously valuable because it represents our time and effort. What I simply wish to speak to is the matter of time itself. Realistically, we each are allotted a finite amount of time on this wondrous planet. To ignore the reality of our eventual death is foolish. Likewise, we are given one body in which to make this journey and one mind to navigate its course.

 

Like money we can chose to spend or invest our precious time on various pursuits. We carefully chose to invest in property and various assets. Since we deem these items valuable we spend time tending, maintaining and repairing them. Yet our most precious properties are arguably our bodies, minds and spirits. Yet these appear to be our society’s most neglected assets.

 

We can purchase new houses, cars and other valuables, but our bodies and minds are irreplaceable. The sad reality is that they come to us for free and as such we place little value on them. We take them for granted. I cannot say this better than Earl Nightingale did in his wise discourse “The Strangest Secret”:

 

“The problem is that our mind comes as standard equipment at birth. It’s free. And things that are given to us for nothing, we place little value on. Things that we pay money for, we value.

 

The paradox is that exactly the reverse is true. Everything that’s really worthwhile in life came to us free — our minds, our souls, our bodies, our hopes, our dreams, our ambitions, our intelligence, our love of family and children and friends and country. All these priceless possessions are free.”

If you accept this premise then you should seriously consider how you are tending your greatest asset: yourself. You may well wonder how it is that you could invest in yourself.

 

Clearly your body is the most obvious treasure that you can nurture in meaningful ways. It is your responsibility to give your body proper amounts of good food, keep it sufficiently active and provide it with adequate rest. Many of us fail here on various levels. As with any responsibility the key to improvement is to make no excuses and to take action to learn control of our food, activity and rest. Be honest with yourself; set and work on the proper goals for one’s health.

 

It seems to me that mankind’s most neglected assets in our modern age is our minds and our spirits. This time is filled with the most marvelous entertainments and distractions. The problem is that these marvels are literally disconnecting us from our very lives. We often spend an inordinate number of hours watching and reading about what amounts to other people’s lives rather than attending to our own.

 

Our spirits crave real physical connections with our surroundings and our society and we feed them with anemic virtual online relationships. Psychologists have done studies around the healthy need for physical connections. One such study showed that the simple friendly act of hugging has tremendous health effects on people including lowering average heart rate.   Countless different scientific reviews have discovered incredible benefits for families who regularly eat together. There are many simple things that we can do to feed our spirits and enrich our lives if we are willing to routinely break from our virtual enticements.  

 

Not everyone is an intellectual but everyone should be learning and growing from day to day. However, how many of us actually spend the needed time it takes to expand our minds or to learn new skills and to grow as people? It is good to have hobbies that you pursue with a passion. When you can’t take time to read books on self-improvement you could listen to audio books and podcasts that challenge your mind and our spirit to grow.

 

We humans are innately creative in an infinite number of ways. Yet so few of us are willing to sit quietly with ourselves to ponder some of our significant concerns in a creative manner.

 

I challenge you to pick one issue in your life and let your mind simply freely create answers. Write down whatever comes to mind no matter how absurd it may sound. Do this for five to ten minutes or longer. Once finished, let if go until you have another quiet time to look at your answers. In that time pick one answer that you think you can work with and then let your creative mind loose on ways to achieve that solution. Keep going until you find actions that you can start working on and then turn those into goals. It is that simple but many do not find it easy.  

 

I have provided only a few easy examples as to how you could begin investing in yourself. There are many, many different ways to do this. Find some that suit you in particular. To this end I will provide a list of some very good reverences below. Look at how you are literally spending your life. A few minutes invested on yourself daily may be all you need to gain confidence in yourself and realize that some of your dreams are not too late or too far. I guarantee that if you make some regular dates with yourself to care for your body, mind and spirit that the investment will pay you back with amazing dividends!!

So now that I have explained myself, I ask you “How are your investments paying?”!!


 

Body Resources:

Better physical health and improved activity (site and the associated smartphone apps)
Website:  http://www.loseit.com
You will also find some encouragement too!

 

 

To improve your mental and/or physical health

Website: https://www.superbetter.com/

This is a site that turns health into fun gameplay.

 

Mind and Spirit Resources:

Books & Authors:

Journey of learning and self-discovery

“Way of the Peaceful Warrior” by Dan Millman

Consider also Dan’s other books and resources:   http://www.peacefulwarrior.com

 

Motivation and self-improvement

“The Strangest Secret” by Earl Nightingale

Free copy here: http://www.nightingale.com/articles/the-strangest-secret/

Also recommend Earl Nightingales other books such as “Lead The Field”

 

Working with others and self-improvement

“How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie

Like Earl Nightingale, Dale Carnegie has a wealth of knowledge so consider also his other books such as “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living”

Website: http://www.dalecarnegie.ca/

 

Understanding communication and being a better communicator

“What Every Body Is Saying” by Joe Navarro

Website: http://www.jnforensics.com/  

Podcasts and Blogs:

Inspiration and Innovations (videos and podcasts)

TED Talks

Website: http://www.TED.com/

Watch and listen to inspiring people and ideas. TED – Ideas worth spreading!

 

Coaching, self-improvement and motivation (website/blog/podcast)

“Make Your Someday Today”” by Trevor LaRene

Website:  http://makeyoursomedaytoday.com/

An excellent resource for the person trying to figure out how to realize their goals!

 

Innovation, entrepreneurship & self-improvement (website/blog/podcast)

“Inspiring Innovation” by Meron Bareket

Website: http://meronbareket.com/

An amazing fellow who continues to help others with his blogs, podcasts and workshops.

 

Entrepreneurship, motivation & self-improvement (website/blog/podcast)

“Entrepreneur on Fire” by John Lee Dumas

Website: http://www.entrepreneuronfire.com/

An awesome place to find ideas about just about every form for business enterprise!

 

Time management and entrepreneurship (website/blog/podcast)

“Time Hackers” by Julie Sheranosher

Website:  http://imjulie.com/

If you need more time then Julie can help you find it… and more!

 

Classic Texts (available free across the Internet)

“The Art of War” by Sun Tzu

Understanding the art of managing conflict.

 

“Tao Te Ching” by Lao Tsu

“The Way of Power” – Learn the principles of the martial art of life!

 

“The Bible” by YHWH

Read it again for the first time!!!

Finding 'Why'

Finding ʽWhy ʼ

©Scott D. Wilson 2014

"Where there is no vision, the people perish" – Proverbs 29:18

Lately, I encounter a lot of people who tell me, "I need more motivation." This common lament troubles me. An entire industry has built itself out of this apparently common need. Motivational speakers, talk shows, podcasts and blogs abound. Just as people crave teachers and coaches to tell them how life works, so to do they seem to seek people to explain their lives and give them meaning. I am concerned by this.

It is quite one thing for people to seek better understanding of the universe around them. That is natural. When confronted with the infinite frontiers of knowledge it is simple wisdom to acknowledge that mankind remains largely ignorant. As humanity has exponentially increased its knowledge in recent decades it has equally discovered how infinitely vast is the knowledge still left to be discovered. We are definitely in need of wise discoverers, teachers and coaches.

Motivation, however, does not deal with knowledge about the workings of this world. Motivation is defined as the reason for a person’s action. In short, motivation is about the workings of ourselves. It is about our 'why'. There are many things that we can learn from others but purpose is not one of them. Nothing is more personal than the reasons why we do anything and our motives are as valuable as our actions.

As important as our actions are to others and the world around us, our motives are of greatest importance, especially to ourselves. For example, doing good is significant but doing good for the right motives is crucial. In this example if you give to others continually expecting for it to be returned to you then you are not giving unconditionally and you will soon become disenchanted and jaded by life's returns. If your giving is from your own abundance and generosity, seeking no personal gain, only then will the true satisfaction and reward of giving return to you. Thus your motivation is of great significance.

When I have encountered those who are seeking motivation their statements are inevitably paired with some personal failure. It seems evident to me that they lack an understanding of themselves and it is sabotaging their efforts to improve. This is why I chose the opening quote from Proverbs 29:18. Those seeking motivation seem to lack a vision of themselves and are 'perishing' in achieving their goals.

These people who share their motivational problems with me seem unsure of what drives them and unfortunately they look outside to find their own ‘why’. They seek maps to themselves and hope that others can supply them. Unfortunately, many people, both spiritual and secular make the claim that they can deliver this meaning. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Since no one can live your life for you then you should not let anyone tell why to do anything! Quietly listen your own heart and mind. They will tell you why. Each of our lives is amazingly unique. Our genetics, our parents, our society, when and where we are born, our life experiences, our thoughts and emotions all work together create the specific person that we are right now.

No one will ever fully understand what it means to be you. We each need to discover why we are here. We each have unique passions that bring us joy and meaning. Several wise cultures have called this 'a path with heart' and we each are responsible to find our own. The answers that others have found for themselves will not necessarily work for us. There is no ‘one size fits all’ solution.

Look inside and find your own answers as to why you do what you do. Let go of who you think that you are and listen to your thoughts, your emotions and your life; they will honestly teach you about yourself. Bravely face the uncomfortable lessons that they will deliver. You will likely be surprised.

The truth that we learn about ourselves is often mixed. For example, you may learn that you are impatient but you may also discover that you are generous and kind. We may also discover that our desires and passions lie in areas that we have feared to tread. The most important thing is that you listen without judging yourself. Be gentle.

Learn your ‘why’. Find your unique purpose. This is true for every goal that you set in your life. Whether it is fitness and weight loss or a financial goal, you need to know uniquely why you are doing it. And to this end, I also recommend that you regularly remind yourself of your ‘why’. We are forgetful people and we often lose motivation because the emotions and thoughts that first impelled us fade with time.

Throughout time the wise spiritual traditions have used the concept of touchstones to remind us of our purpose. For example, in the Bible, when the God of the Hebrews created the nation of Israel, he instructed them to carry stones from the land of their wandering into the their new land of promise. These stones formed a monument that the people and their offspring used to remind them of their bondage that they fled, their deliverance and why they wandered for so long. It reminded them why they were a nation.

When you find your purpose it is very helpful to create a meaningful touchstone so that when your motivation fails that you literally have something to see and touch that will remind you of your purpose. It should touch your heart and mind, spirit and it should speak uniquely to you.

For example, if you are working towards a financial goal you might write a cheque to yourself with the amount of money that you wish to obtain. Under the 'For' section of the cheque you could write your motivations like 'security for my family' or 'to give to a certain cause.' You could then place the cheque in your wallet and when your resolve weakens you could look at it and remind yourself why you are making this effort. In the end, your specific touchstone will be as unique as your reasons ‘why’.

The important thing is to brave enough to listen to your heart, mind and life to discover who you are and why you do what you do. Stop looking outside for your motivation. When you find your purpose take the same time and bravery to discover something that will help you to remember it. It is that simple but it won’t be easy and it will be worth it!

Where’s your teacher?

Where’s your teacher?

©June 2014 Scott Wilson

A few people may know that my wife and I home-schooled all four of our children through the elementary levels of school. One thing I learned is that by teaching others you learn so much. And so a core philosophy in the Wilson household is that learning is not just for our youth, it is a life-long journey. We explained to our kids that it is not truly the responsibility of teachers to teach students but rather it is the students’ responsibility to learn.

Teachers generally have knowledge and experience that will be of use to you on your academic journey and perhaps even your life journey. It is the student's job to wrest this valuable information from the teachers by any means necessary. In school, you will have good and bad instructors. Regardless of the teacher's skill it remains important for the students to learn the material of the class. To this end we tried to create children who took responsibility for their own learning.

We did not always give our children the answers but we always gave them the resources to find the answers and we taught them how to use those resources. I can report that our methods have proved largely successful. Several of our children had entered high school by the time that we discovered through testing that three of them had diagnosable learning disabilities. Their good marks certainly did not reflect this but our difficulties on the way now made sense.

At this stage you the reader might be wondering why I am talking about teaching and learning. This may seem obvious to most but in order for any of us to learn we must have teachers. To that end I can think of the many formal teachers and instructors that I have had through the years. Some were gifted and memorable, many were lackluster, and still others were horrid. I did my best to learn from them all. Of course thinking of teachers also makes me think of coaches.

Coaches are truly a special breed of teacher. Teachers in the strictest sense of the term simply impart knowledge or transfer information to students. That's it. The measure of a good teacher is whether or not the students can prove knowledge and understanding of a subject through written testing. Whether or not these students can practically apply this information to any benefit is quite another matter. A good coach goes beyond this.

Coaches will still impart knowledge as part of the learning process. But good coaching is far more pragmatic. The test of a good coach is whether or not his or her students or players are succeeding in their chosen challenge. The coach of a consistently losing team is fired. Coaches do not merely impart knowledge but they must also provide a vast number of avenues to apply that knowledge in practical ways. In other words, coaches must also provide the life experiences that are needed to truly understand how that knowledge can be applied. Coaches are also there to help the learners to understand the results that occur when their efforts succeed or fail.

What good would a cooking class be if all it involved was teaching culinary theory, such as recipes and cooking techniques, without allowing the students to actually try their hand at creating food? A true cooking teacher is really a coach who guides the class towards success in creating edible and delectable meals. Compared to the number of good teachers that I have had I have experienced even fewer good coaches but I owe them all a debt of gratitude because of what they helped me to learn about myself and this world.

Allow me to switch gears in this monologue. Plato attributed these wise words to Socrates "The life which is unexamined is not worth living." I take these words to mean that we should not just wander through life experiencing this and experiencing that but we should also take time to reflect upon the actions that we have taken and the results that we have reaped. That is long-winded so I’d say that Socrates said it best, we must examine or reflect upon our life.

Yet I am surprised at how few people seem to do this. Many people ponder why this or that happened in their life but relatively few seem to candidly reflect on the role that they played in the outcomes. When I ask someone why they think that this or that had happened to them they often reply simply “I don’t know.” They appear to be clueless of what role they played in their interactions with others. In short, it seems to me that many people experience life but they do not frequently learn from it.

This is where I have had a small revelation. I have come to realize that life itself has been my greatest teacher and coach! That is really what Socrates was talking about. When we are brutally honest with ourselves about our role in our life and if we own our results, the good and the bad without excuses then it all serves to move us towards success. We must be willing to simply learn the lessons.

 

My dad once wrote on a piece of paper 16 principles that he believed were key to success. Number 15 of those principles was "Review the results of your actions and decisions. Know why you either succeeded or failed. (Learn from your mistakes and don't make the same mistake twice.)" These few insightful words demonstrate an understanding that life can be our coach.

So to those that read my words today: Where is your teacher? Where is your coach? Are you still looking for someone to come and teach you the secrets of life? Look no further. No one person has all the answers for you but life itself will provide the answers if you are willing to work with your life and see them. It takes time and effort but the rewards are real. Take some time today and look at your life. Ask yourself "What is my life trying to teach me?" then wait expectantly for the answers to come. Life will answer!