Losing Your Fat Mind

Losing Your Fat Mind

By Scott D. Wilson

“No diet will remove all the fat from your body because the brain is entirely fat. Without a brain you might look good, but all you could do is run for public office.”

–Covert Bailey

I work on a web site that helps people to change their lifestyles in order to lose weight and keep it off.  One of the biggest mistakes that I see people making there every day is this:

They believe that losing a pound equals losing a pound of fat AND gaining a pound means gaining a pound of fat.

This is just plain WRONG and it is a self-defeating way to think. We are complex creatures. It would be so nice if our bodies immediately counted every calorie eaten and every calorie burned through living and activities and then either sent out messages to the fat cells to shrink or grow. We want that level of control over ourselves. Unfortunately, it does not simply work that way.

First off, the number that we see on our scales is composed of our bodies' fluids, bones, muscles, tissues, organs and fat. In an ideal world our bones, fluids, muscles and tissues would be in perfect unchanging equilibrium and only our fat would fluctuate based on our eating and activity. Alas, this is not so. All of these things that are NOT fat are subject to change for many many reasons.

Intense workouts can result in heavier muscles, not just from growth, but from fluid build-up as the muscles repair themselves. Likewise, both muscle and bone mass can deteriorate if our food intake is too restricted. These non-fat elements fluctuate naturally throughout the day, month and week. They are affected by our foods, our activities, our environment, our hormonal cycles, our sleep patterns and many other factors. Unlike fat, calories are not generally a factor for these pieces of us and we need to accept that we do not have the power or control to keep their weight stable all the time.

Next, our bodies are not waiting with baited breath to turn food into fat or to in turn take fat and turn it into energy for activities. Many and various processes take place between the consumption of food and its disposal.  Also, food is not purely fuel, it is also the building blocks for replacement cell like skin, hair, muscle, blood, etc.  When starting weight loss it is good to focus purely on learning about calories, however eventually it will be wise to also look at the quality and type of foods that we eat. Salty foods cause retention of water and fluids and this can result in significant spikes on the scale. Different foods are all digested differently and this means that their effects can vary both in the generation of fat but also in their effect on the mass of all our other body parts.

Finally, it should be noted that each of us has both a unique metabolism that is the result of our past lifestyle and our genetics. Consequently, it is possible that merely counting calories can reach stages where weight loss will slow or stall for prolonged periods because we are eating foods that are not working well with our bodies or we are not choosing activities that optimal for our physiques. We may need to tweak and experiment with various elements of our eating to see the effect they have on our weight.

Like food, activity and exercise have different components. Endurance, or aerobic, activities increase your breathing and heart rate; these are the activities most associated with weight loss. Strength and anaerobic exercises make your muscles stronger; stronger muscles also burn more energy and thus improve weight loss. Balance exercises improve your agility and stability, and flexibility exercises stretch your muscles and can help your body stay limber. In truth, our life activities should have a variety of all the exercise components. It is up to each of us to determine what that will look like and what works for us as individuals.

Change your thinking and your focus when you step on the scale. Lose your fat mind. Whether the numbers move up down or stay the same, breathe easy and know that it is composed of many elements, not just fat. Fat is actually in the minority, even in the obese. Remind yourself that all you bones, fluids, tissues, organs, and yes, fat make up that number. You generally cannot take complete control over all these parts. Some of them will fluctuate beyond your control.

If you are confident in your logging of food and exercise then use the number on the scale merely as a variable that helps you to adjust your efforts and your lifestyle. Know and remember that if you are earnestly choosing to take control of your eating and your activeness then you are already winning despite what the scales says.

“It's true, the scale can only give you a numerical reflection of your relationship with gravity. That’s it. It cannot measure beauty, talent, purpose, life force, possibility, strength, or love. Don't give the scale more power than it has earned. Take note of the number, then get off the scale and live your life. You are beautiful!” ―Steve Maraboli

©2017S.D.Wilson

The *Real* Secret

The *Real* Secret

By Scott D. Wilson

magical thinking:  irrational belief that one can bring about a circumstance or event by thinking about it or wishing for it; normal in preschool children, it also occurs in schizophrenia. (Farlex Partner Medical Dictionary © Farlex 2012)

There is a mindset in circulation these days that preys upon the weak and the vulnerable in our society.  It plays upon the hopes and dreams of those who seek to improve their lives.  It has many names; “The Secret” and “The Law of Attraction” are but a few.  They all make the premise that wishful thinking and a positive attitude are all that it needed to bring about prosperity and success in one’s life.  They all peddle books and videos that are designed to help people develop the right thinking and emotions.  Here are a few quotes from “The Secret” that illustrate the errors I am talking about:

“Ask once, believe you have received, and all you have to do to receive is feel good.” 

“Your wealth is waiting for you in the invisible, and to bring it into the visible, think wealth!” 

“Food cannot cause you to put on weight, unless you think it can.”

Plain and simple, these statements are prime examples of magical thinking that will bring about disappointment and disillusionment.  Reality, such as food, does not truly bend to the power of our minds.  What is genuinely sad is that these mindsets are all filled with half-truths that have been exaggerated into outright lies.  Controlling our thinking is important.  Controlling our thinking does affect what we have and what we become.  However, the process is not magical, nor does it involve any mystical laws or principles.  In 1977 a fellow named Frank Outlaw outlined the process quite well:

“Watch your thoughts, they become words; watch your words, they become actions; watch your actions, they become habits; watch your habits, they become character; watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”

 What we think about affects our attitude, actions and habits that ultimately become out character.  Our actions, attitude and character are viewed by others and thereby significantly affect the outcome of our lives.  This has nothing to do with simply thinking positively and remaining grateful and then expecting the universe to deliver everything on a silver platter.  We must control our thoughts because they generate attitude and actions that affect all that we interact with around us, and there is nothing magical or spiritual about that fact.

Earl Nightingale created an audio recording in 1956 called “The Strangest Secret.”  The recording sold over a million copies, making it the first spoken-word recording to achieve Gold Record status.  It is now public domain so one can find copies of it all over the internet.  Below is a link to a transcript of the recording:

http://www.nightingale.com/articles/the-strangest-secret/

In reading it one can clearly see that its ideas are the basis for the fad video and book “The Secret.”  Unfortunately, the latter has depleted all the value from Nightingale’s work and replaced it with irrational and vacuous claims.  If you want to know the *real* secret, Nightingale states it quite clearly:

“We must control our thinking. The same rule that can lead people to lives of success, wealth, happiness, and all the things they ever dreamed of and that very same law can lead them into the gutter. It’s all in how they use it … for good or for bad. That is The Strangest Secret!”

And he further clearly explains exactly how this principle works, through goals:

“The difference is goals. People with goals succeed because they know where they’re going. It’s that simple. Failures, on the other hand, believe that their lives are shaped by circumstances … by things that happen to them … by exterior forces.”

Nightingale also clearly outlines the mundane yet simple principle by which people become wealthy:

“Your success will always be measured by the quality and quantity of service you render. Most people will tell you that they want to make money, without understanding this law… Success is not the result of making money; earning money is the result of success and success is in direct proportion to our service.”

That is the essence of the ‘secret’. There is nothing magical or wishful here. It is all perfectly good common sense advice. Mister Nightingale gives his listeners a 30 day plan with actions for what a person can do to start becoming successful and ultimately wealthier. The key word here is ‘do.’ Success requires action, substantial and constructive action. Thinking and attitude are very important parts of this equation but they are merely the beginning of the process.

Whether our goal is losing weight or becoming wealthy, the universe does not respond purely to our thoughts and emotions. It responds to what we do with our thinking and attitude.  People like Oprah Winfrey and J.K. Rowling did not become wealthy and successful by simply thinking about wealth and having a great attitude.  They became successful through their wisely chosen personal goals and by increasing their own value to others through their exemplary service.  This is the honest and simple truth of the *real* secret that Nightingale wisely explained some sixty years ago so don’t be duped by the simplistic thinking of today’s prosperity gurus.  As the old advertisement goes “Accept no substitutes!”

©2017 S.D. Wilson

They Are All Broken

They Are All Broken

By Scott D. Wilson

Have you ever been betrayed or let down by someone that you had believed in or trusted?  Have you found yourself questioning the behaviour of someone that you thought that you knew?  I will share something with you that has taken me over forty years to fully realize:  They are all broken.  Every single person out there is broken, including you and including me.  We just don’t see the brokenness all the time because most have learned to hide it well… from others… and from themselves.

I have prided myself in the past by giving everyone the benefit of the doubt.  I used to say that I started all people at one-hundred percent and that they worked themselves down from that.  I thought this was the best way to look at others.  Now I realize that it was terribly unfair.  It always set me up for disappointment.  It placed unrealistic expectations on my fellow travellers in this world.

Believing the best in others means looking at them but not seeing them.  It is like looking for flawless diamonds with a dirty magnifying glass.  Imperfections are smudged and hidden.  As individuals, we have been taught to show our best sides.  Eventually, we will have to clean our lenses.  Inevitably, we see the darker side to someone.  They fail to live up to the image that we have constructed of them.  They naturally act out of fear or insecurity.  They act out of character, and we feel cheated or misled.

Yet you see, the problem is truly not with them but with us.  We are mad with ourselves for failing to see them accurately or properly.  We forgot that they are all broken like us.  One might wisely ask why I say that ‘they’ are a broken if in fact we all suffer the same affliction.  Should the statement not be that ‘we’ are all broken?  Yes, this is true, but not so when make the observation.  For we are not thinking in terms of our own sins and evil when we with judging eyes see the brokenness of those around us.  There is no ‘we.’  There is only ourselves and them.

We all lie to one extent or another.  If we are honest in our observations we will come to realize that we lie to ourselves far more than we lie to others.  We paint over our own imperfections.  We try to see ourselves in the best light.  We soothe our egos by favorably comparing ourselves with others.  In short, we do not see ourselves as broken.  So it is when we are betrayed or disappointed that we plainly see the failings in those who we had painted with our ideals.  We do not sympathize or empathize with their plight. We judge them.

We have disconnected from our own brokenness and become harsh. We feel victimized and wonder why they won't treat us as we treat them. If we want to correct this we first must remember that they are all broken.  Life has made people damaged goods.  We need to expect that they will operate from that brokenness, and enjoy surprise when they choose to be better.  We then must turn inwards and acknowledge our own broken state so that we can let go of judgement, bitterness and resentment. Here we can ultimately remember that we are all broken.    

I am not making this observation to be pessimistic or cynical.  I have come to this realization through hard experience.  It is not optimistic to deceive ourselves about the fallen state of our friends and family.  It is not realistic to ignore our own flaws and shortcomings.  If we see that each one of us has some chips on their heart or cracks in their mind then we can treat those people with kind understanding. When necessary, we can take proper actions to protect and prepare ourselves from the broken actions of others rather than becoming victimized. If we can be gentle with our own faults then we can extend that gentleness towards those around us.  

When next you are disappointed by friend or family do your best to stop and remember that they are broken.  You are the one who expected too much.  Remember the cracks in your own spirit and the bruises on your own soul.  You too are broken.  The only way to help mend such damage is to handle each other softly.  For it is when all the broken pieces are gathered and gently reassembled that true wholeness is achieved.  

P.S.  I am not implying that it is wrong to see the potential and good in others. If we did not see such light then we would soon be mired in cynicism and disenchantment. As the Desiderata wisely states “many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism.”

The harm to us comes from our expectations that others, especially those closest, will always operate ideally. First, we cut ourselves no slack and then we do likewise to others.

“They are all broken.” is to be used to remind ourselves that we are judging unfairly. It is my mirror to myself that tells me that I am expecting ideals in a less than ideal world.



Walking the Razor's Edge

Walking the Razor

© 2015 Scott D. Wilson,P.Eng.

 

“The pathway to salvation is as narrow and as difficult to walk as a razor's edge.” — W. Somerset Maugham from “The Razor's Edge.”

 

I need to confess, I have a love for a picture that bombed in the theatres back in 1984.  It was a movie starring Bill Murray in an adaption of Somerset Maugham’s “The Razor’s Edge.”  I enjoyed this film and its message when I first saw it back in 1984, and the cinematography is stunning.  I personally believed that it bombed because general audiences wanted to see the standard Bill Murray firing off jokes and making wisecracks.  This is not really that kind of film.  Somerset Maugham delves deeply into the worlds of materialism and spirituality.  To that end I believe that Bill Murray remained quite true to Maugham’s vision.  Unfortunately, a great deal of Maugham’s thoughts and conclusions are quite hard for many people to swallow.

I encourage folks to read Maugham’s book and to see the film.  The Razor’s Edge struggles with the concepts of good and evil, cause and consequence, actions and rewards.  I like the brutally honest answer that the main character delivers in a few short lines:

“When Piedmont died, I had to pay him back for my life. I found out there's another debt to pay — for the privilege of being alive. I thought Sophie was my reward for trying to live a good life. Uh uh. There is no payoff — not now.”

Western thinking, whether spiritual or physical, is frequently unconsciously caught up in the concept of investment and return.  We work hard expecting that effort to pay off.  Those who pursue spiritual matters usually expect to be rewarded with peace of mind and life with less conflict and strife.  We are always expecting the scales to balance in our lifetime.  Reality is far less predictable and reliable.  And so we alternately enjoy and suffer with the dualities of pleasure, pain, toil and reward, love and fear.  As Maugham’s character so aptly puts it, there is not necessarily a “payoff  — not now.”

This thought disappoints most of us.  If we make sacrifices now and try our best to be ‘good’ then there needs to be a reward, now, in this life.  While this may frequently be true it is certainly not a guarantee and we should realize this fact.  Additionally, we are mostly oblivious to the underlying selfishness of this expectation.  Many noble people did what was right and correct and it cost them everything, including their lives.  They were not expecting to reap the rewards of their actions.  They did not do right because it was of benefit to themselves.  They chose to act correctly because doing right transcends time and space.  Doing right serves something far greater than give and take, action and reward. These brave folks were aware that their actions would resonate out beyond their own personal existence into the future and onward towards eternity.

I can see how this thought may distress many people.  Justice seems cheated.  Those who reap do not seem to sow.  Similarly, this is offensive to rationalistic materialists enjoyment of science’s premise of cause and effect.  Meanwhile, spiritualists will generally take comfort in the belief of an afterlife for their rewards. I do not seek to clear this matter for either point of view.  Currently none can truly know with certainty what may or may not transcend their lifespan.  

I would hope that those with a rational scientific mindset would allow their egos to ebb and perform the mental calculations to see that doing right without personal reward can serve the future and their fellow man.  And the spiritualists should likewise let go of the mindset that is entitled to compensation.  I would not like to meet my Creator with the selfish expectation that my righteousness was motivated solely for my own benefit, avoiding punishment or to gain reward.  

When good happens were should rejoice and enjoy it.  When ill befalls this world we should mourn and take actions against it.  As long as time flies forward, both good and evil will remain temporary states.  My original quote comes from a monk seeking to caution Maugham’s main character.  Another wise One once similarly warned that “…it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the Kingdom of God!” The wealthy are most heavily invested in the concept of investment and return, and so they become robbed of an eternal perspective.

Life has taught me that it is of great importance to do what is good but it is of far greater importance to sincerely do it for the correct reasons.  Look neither for reward nor punishment.  Choose to do what is correct regardless of the outcome.  Free from the fear of penalties and the lure of compensation, if we do not get caught up in our own ego we might find that walking the razor’s edge to salvation is just that much easier. 

Stop trying to be happy! Just enjoy life! (From guest blog at www.makeyoursomedaytoday.com)

Stop trying to be happy! Just enjoy life!

©Scott D. Wilson 2014



Everyone wants to be happy, right? I mean as far as goals go this one seems to be right up there on most people’s list. The United States constitution even guarantees the right to pursue happiness. So much of the modern advertising industry is built upon the premise of selling the elements that deliver happiness. It is safe to say that trying to be happy is definitely a common priority within our society.

People do many things in their unending efforts to become and remain happy. They seek friendship, love, romance, marriage, children, fame, fortune, spirituality, god and so much more all hoping that these will lead to lasting happiness. It is my observation that all of these things have at best fleeting success in attaining happiness.


Every single one of the ideals that I have mentioned above is mixed with joy and pain, happiness and sorrow. The best friendships will still occasionally disappoint. Romance waxes and wanes. Marriage and families are filled with great joys and heart-crushing events. Even religion and spirituality do not grant immunity to the trials and pains of life.


And yet mankind spends an amazing amount of time and effort chasing the dream of happiness. In this powerful pursuit we demonize sadness and depression. North America is an abundant and rich country where we enjoy a standard of living that far exceeds that of over 60 percent of the world. Still Americans currently spend an estimated $11.3 billion dollars annually on anti-depressants, consuming more per capita than any other nation. American use of anti-depressants skyrocketed 400% from 1988 to 1994. We go to great pains to avoid being unhappy in any way and in the process we treat almost all sadness as an illness.


So what is wrong? Why can’t we seem to lay hold of this ultimate prize despite our herculean efforts? We have material wealth and security like no other nations but we are failing at the very pursuit that our predecessors nobly guaranteed for us. It actually seems that the harder we try obtain happiness the more difficult it becomes to obtain. I actually believe that this principle holds true, and so I propose that it is truthfully our very quest for happiness that causes the problem.


We live in an impermanent world. All things that live will die and everything that is created eventually decays and fails. Why then do we expect our happiness to be permanent? In Zen Buddhism it is believed that our attachment to objects in this ever-changing world that leads to sadness and frustration. There is much truth to this belief, however even detachment will not guarantee happiness just as an absence of pain does not guarantee pleasure. So the problem of happiness remains.


I propose that we release our iron grip on the pursuit of happiness and instead focus our pursuit on joy. No, I am not just playing with semantics. Joy is defined as the emotion evoked by well-being, success, or good fortune or by the prospect of possessing what one desires (from Merriam-Webster). I believe that it is the last part of this definition that is telling: ‘emotion evoked by… the prospect of possessing.’ There can be joy in the pursuit even if the item pursued is not obtained. I would go so far as to say that we can actually enjoy pursuing happiness even if we fail in that pursuit!


I further submit that joy supersedes happiness. As my father lay in pain dying of bone cancer in I enjoyed our much of our time together and so did he. Despite all that my father was experiencing he still enjoyed the simple pleasure of a cappuccino from a local coffee shop. Were we happy? No, not at all. That did not stop joy. In my life and in others I have seen joy in the midst of sorrow, pain and even death.


We need to allow ourselves the ability to experience joy. This often involves slowing down and actually paying attention to and experiencing our lives. We can have goals and quests for worthy ideals but we need to expect that there will be bumps on those journeys. Let not our pursuits rob us of our joy. I have observed people in pain struggling to be happy at Christmas, the supposedly happiest time of the year. In their struggle, these poor souls not only fail to obtain happiness but they deprive themselves of their joy.


Can we still pursue happiness? Yes, but don’t expect to catch it and keep it. Happiness will come and go, and that is alright. Do not run from sorrow especially when the seasons of life call for it. Hold fast to joys, especially the simple ones. Joys can be our greatest treasures in times of tribulation. At all times take pleasure in kindness, smiles and love. In this challenging life, when happiness seems so far off, remember that there can still be great joy in the journey.

Finding 'Why'

Finding ʽWhy ʼ

©Scott D. Wilson 2014

"Where there is no vision, the people perish" – Proverbs 29:18

Lately, I encounter a lot of people who tell me, "I need more motivation." This common lament troubles me. An entire industry has built itself out of this apparently common need. Motivational speakers, talk shows, podcasts and blogs abound. Just as people crave teachers and coaches to tell them how life works, so to do they seem to seek people to explain their lives and give them meaning. I am concerned by this.

It is quite one thing for people to seek better understanding of the universe around them. That is natural. When confronted with the infinite frontiers of knowledge it is simple wisdom to acknowledge that mankind remains largely ignorant. As humanity has exponentially increased its knowledge in recent decades it has equally discovered how infinitely vast is the knowledge still left to be discovered. We are definitely in need of wise discoverers, teachers and coaches.

Motivation, however, does not deal with knowledge about the workings of this world. Motivation is defined as the reason for a person’s action. In short, motivation is about the workings of ourselves. It is about our 'why'. There are many things that we can learn from others but purpose is not one of them. Nothing is more personal than the reasons why we do anything and our motives are as valuable as our actions.

As important as our actions are to others and the world around us, our motives are of greatest importance, especially to ourselves. For example, doing good is significant but doing good for the right motives is crucial. In this example if you give to others continually expecting for it to be returned to you then you are not giving unconditionally and you will soon become disenchanted and jaded by life's returns. If your giving is from your own abundance and generosity, seeking no personal gain, only then will the true satisfaction and reward of giving return to you. Thus your motivation is of great significance.

When I have encountered those who are seeking motivation their statements are inevitably paired with some personal failure. It seems evident to me that they lack an understanding of themselves and it is sabotaging their efforts to improve. This is why I chose the opening quote from Proverbs 29:18. Those seeking motivation seem to lack a vision of themselves and are 'perishing' in achieving their goals.

These people who share their motivational problems with me seem unsure of what drives them and unfortunately they look outside to find their own ‘why’. They seek maps to themselves and hope that others can supply them. Unfortunately, many people, both spiritual and secular make the claim that they can deliver this meaning. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Since no one can live your life for you then you should not let anyone tell why to do anything! Quietly listen your own heart and mind. They will tell you why. Each of our lives is amazingly unique. Our genetics, our parents, our society, when and where we are born, our life experiences, our thoughts and emotions all work together create the specific person that we are right now.

No one will ever fully understand what it means to be you. We each need to discover why we are here. We each have unique passions that bring us joy and meaning. Several wise cultures have called this 'a path with heart' and we each are responsible to find our own. The answers that others have found for themselves will not necessarily work for us. There is no ‘one size fits all’ solution.

Look inside and find your own answers as to why you do what you do. Let go of who you think that you are and listen to your thoughts, your emotions and your life; they will honestly teach you about yourself. Bravely face the uncomfortable lessons that they will deliver. You will likely be surprised.

The truth that we learn about ourselves is often mixed. For example, you may learn that you are impatient but you may also discover that you are generous and kind. We may also discover that our desires and passions lie in areas that we have feared to tread. The most important thing is that you listen without judging yourself. Be gentle.

Learn your ‘why’. Find your unique purpose. This is true for every goal that you set in your life. Whether it is fitness and weight loss or a financial goal, you need to know uniquely why you are doing it. And to this end, I also recommend that you regularly remind yourself of your ‘why’. We are forgetful people and we often lose motivation because the emotions and thoughts that first impelled us fade with time.

Throughout time the wise spiritual traditions have used the concept of touchstones to remind us of our purpose. For example, in the Bible, when the God of the Hebrews created the nation of Israel, he instructed them to carry stones from the land of their wandering into the their new land of promise. These stones formed a monument that the people and their offspring used to remind them of their bondage that they fled, their deliverance and why they wandered for so long. It reminded them why they were a nation.

When you find your purpose it is very helpful to create a meaningful touchstone so that when your motivation fails that you literally have something to see and touch that will remind you of your purpose. It should touch your heart and mind, spirit and it should speak uniquely to you.

For example, if you are working towards a financial goal you might write a cheque to yourself with the amount of money that you wish to obtain. Under the 'For' section of the cheque you could write your motivations like 'security for my family' or 'to give to a certain cause.' You could then place the cheque in your wallet and when your resolve weakens you could look at it and remind yourself why you are making this effort. In the end, your specific touchstone will be as unique as your reasons ‘why’.

The important thing is to brave enough to listen to your heart, mind and life to discover who you are and why you do what you do. Stop looking outside for your motivation. When you find your purpose take the same time and bravery to discover something that will help you to remember it. It is that simple but it won’t be easy and it will be worth it!

When Life Says 'No'

When Life Says 'No'

©Scott D. Wilson 2014




Today's theme song is:


"Bless the Broken Road" by Rascal Flatts

Admittedly, this song is primarily about romantic love.  However, one can also look at it from several angles.  For example, from a spiritual perspective, the singer could be speaking about the failed paths that eventually led him to a relationship with his Creator. 


I can personally see various different ways to view this song. The lesson that I choose take from this ballad is that life sometimes says 'no' and that is not always a bad thing. 

Like romantic love, we often pursue noble goals in life with all our heart and soul.  Sometimes they work out, but occasionally they can be savagely ripped away from us:
 
- The wife who works hard to forge a family and home only to be betrayed by a faithless spouse

- The loyal company worker who gives his very life for his company and then is one day unceremoniously forced into early retirement


- The middle-aged couple whose only child is killed by a reckless driver

Pain and loss are naturally felt.  However, it is how we choose to handle these setbacks that makes them either blessings or curses in the long run.

I have seen live shattered by horrific circumstances at many stages of life. Yet I stand amazed when time and time again the human spirit rises above such tragedy like a phoenix from the ashes and brings forth incredible good.

This is the perspective that we must strive for when life seems to slam the door in our face.  Every end can become a new beginning while we still draw breath.  'No' in one area may be 'yes' in another one that we may never have dreamed of before.  We simply need to look on life with new eyes.  We must have the courage to let go and accept an ending.  Then we might learn to embrace new and unexplored possibilities.

Today, look back on life.  How often did 'no' turn into a door to something better?  Remember these times.  Are you facing something now that is painful and seems so unfair?  Take a moment someplace safe and quiet and look away from the problem.  Consider all the things that you sill may possess such as health, family, friends, talents, faith and much more.  Can you see a possible 'yes' somewhere on the distant horizon?  If so, take today to be brave - change course and set sail to a new destination!!