To those who wondered..

To those who wondered…

I have been neglectful of this blog and to those who have enjoyed it I apologize.  I have been plagued with too much good.  I am writing two books.  I am successfully moderating a website. I am doing well at my day job.  I have been active a lot with my volunteer work. I am stretched thin.

I am now having to make some tough choices.  I love many things.  I love helping people. I need to focus where I can do my best.  I believe this blog is still important.  I am not sure I can keep it up on a weekly basis but I think a bi-weekly will still be doable.  

And so I hope I can continue to provide you folks with some inspiration and some thoughts to help you in furthering your success.  Let’s continue to walk this path of success together!

Cheers!!!

Finding Success

Finding Success 

©2015 Scott D. Wilson

This article is dedicated to the admirable life and great friendship of Dr. Janice McCarthy.
I do not know when exactly but I do know that soon a light will fade from this planet and the universe will be a bit darker. My friend, Doctor Janice McCarthy is in the final stages of her battle with the evil that is cancer. My heart breaks for her husband and children and their unfair loss.


But I am not writing here about loss. I am writing about finding success. I do not know a single person who does not crave success in their life. It is almost a fundamental human drive like hunger, sex, love and acceptance. However, we all seem to achieve varying levels of success in our lives. We all want and dream of success yet few of us are willing to do all that is needed to achieve those goals. I believe that the drive for success is akin to psychologist Abraham Maslow's description of the quest for self-actualization.


I am privileged to have known several successful people in my passage through this weary land of heartaches and broken dreams. Some were wealthy.  Others had meager means. Some were well known and popular. While some live in quiet obscurity. There were those both brilliant and simple. I would imagine that many reading here wonder then how I am defining success.


Earl Nightingale gave the best definition of success that I am aware of to date.  His definition stated that "Success is the progressive realization of a worthy ideal."  In most people's eyes worthy ideals are mainly fame and fortune. I have a much broader view of success yet I would have to say that still only a few obtain it.


My successful few have one common thread: a fearless passion for life. Their legacies are loving families, heartfelt friends, admiring colleagues, grateful neighbours and a general respect from virtually all who knew them. Whatever their circumstance they grabbed life for all it was worth. None of them were victims in their maturity. Their environments did not subdue or define them. They truly overcame the world and themselves.  Oh, they had fears and nightmares but they all learned to face them to persevere beyond them.

My friend Janice is not dying of cancer. She is truly living deeply and fully with the disease. Despite the ravages of the illness she seems more alive now than when we first met. Yes, I see a certain sadness within her but it is not regret.  It is the natural yearning for more. Her smile, her wit, her impish ways, her unconquered spirit burn brightly. Even in the precious last days she still reaches out and counsels her patients. Her abundant generosity has not been stemmed by this vicious disease.  I see in her the unbowed unbroken warrior.  I cannot help but be inspired.


Why is this success?  She has lived this life on her terms. That is one of the noblest ideals that I can envision. The lives she has touched attest to this. Of this I have no doubt. Her family and friends have been given a shining legacy from her. I will miss my friend but I will forever be enriched by my time spent with her.


And so I encourage you, my reader, to look to your own life. Find your own success and commit your life to it. Use the inspirations of lives well lived to find your own noble ideals. Do not narrow success to money or popularity. Define life on your own terms. Dream big and work hard. Love deeply and boldly!  Do not let world extinguish your light. Burn brightly like a shooting star... like my friend Janice.

"To laugh often and love much; to win the respect of intelligent persons and the affection of children; to earn the approbation of honest citizens and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to give of one’s self; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to have played and laughed with enthusiasm and sung with exultation; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived—this is to have succeeded."- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Denying Leadership - the Perils

Denying Leadership - the Perils

©2015 Scott D. Wilson

 

Do you want to be successful?  Do you want to be a leader?  If you answered ‘yes’ to the first question then you better have answered ‘yes’ to the second one as well.  “But I don’t want to lead anyone!” you may protest.  My response to you is “Too bad, get used to it!”  I used to be exactly like you.  I thought I could be successful all on my own, away from the crowds and the rest of the world.  I did not want to be a leader.  To be a leader means having followers and to me that seemed like an unnecessary responsibility and hassle.

However, if one is serious about success then one needs to look at what exactly it means to succeed.  Put simply, success at its most basic level is merely setting a goal and through effort, measurably achieving it.  For example, in weight loss, one usually gauges success by achieving a given body weight or fat percentage.  Unless one is losing an insignificant amount of weight then achieving this goal will take significant determination and the effects will be noticeable.  If one succeeds there will be people who have known the individual who will ask about their method and the key to their achievement.  Remember, many people try unsuccessfully to lose weight.  Actually losing weight would put this person in the small group of leaders that has attained the desired goal.

In most worthwhile ventures you will likely seek the help and expertise of others with experience or knowledge that will aid you in your quest.  As a seeker you will understand the need for leaders to help those along the path.  As you gain your own knowledge and experience in any field this will eventually make you a leader in that area. If you have received help it will be natural to want to return this help to those who seek to follow towards the same goal.  This is basic leadership.

Whatever the nature of what you strive for, when you attain your goals people will in all likelihood notice.  Success stands out amid the struggling crowds.  Visible change is generally required to reach our various goals.  Change and difference are noticeable amid this largely mundane world.  Succeeding at virtually anything draws the attention of others.

If success were commonplace then there would be little need for leaders, but real achievement is sufficiently rare that it demands leadership from those who attain their goals.  Even those new to success need to acknowledge their leadership.   Leaders are required… even those who might be inexperienced in success and those who are still avidly learning!  Perfection and mastery are not perquisites for leadership.

If you are proving yourself and making developments in some endeavour then people will start to look to you as an expert in the subject.  Success and leadership go hand in hand.  Denying leadership is to deny success.

This does not mean that we seek leadership to in the hopes of creating success.  Being successful generates leadership but leadership does not necessarily breed success. This does however mean that we should not reject or deny leadership as we win ground in our personal efforts.  We need to become comfortable with others looking up to us and seeking advice or guidance.  This is a natural by-product of achievement.

Though our personal goals may pertain only to our own development and improvement we need to be aware that this can and will alter who we are and how we are perceived by others.  And this is ok.  Being followed is not to be dreaded.  Humbly accept that your own success can fuel and inspire the dreams, hopes and efforts of others.  And if by some odd chance someone uses your guidance to motivate their own success then perchance one day you might paradoxically choose to follow their leadership!

Why are you here?

Why are you here?

©2015 Scott D. Wilson,P.Eng.

 

Seriously, why are you here?  What is the point of your travels in this outer spiral arm of a Galaxy we call the Milky Way?  Sure, you were born here but that is mere circumstance.  Why do continue this ongoing adventure?  Are you like singer in the old Peggy Lee song “Is that all there is?” who is just hanging in because they simply don’t want to face the final disappointment of death?  Do you breathe out of habit or do you savour every miraculous heartbeat and every taste of life-sustaining air?

I see so many, day in and day out, struggling with addictions, bad habits, weight, and so much more.  The common factor for so many of them is the need for motivation and the will to follow through.  I may be wrong but I see that a large part of their problem is that they lack meaningful purpose in their life.  They simply do not know why they are here.  It is as if they expect to wake up one day from this tired existence and start living their real lives – the lives they were meant to be living.  This may in fact be partially true.

I can see why the Eastern religions and mysticism seek ‘enlightenment’ and ‘awakening.’  Like Neo in ‘The Matrix’ they want to see reality as it truly is and realize that their true identity is not what they have accepted since birth.  They want to awaken and see their true selves and those of the people and creations around them.  This is a noble quest.  It sets a foundation and provides a perspective for all that we are and all that we do.  For until you begin to truly understand yourself and start to know why you are here then you will continually struggle with motivation and willpower for all other pursuits.

For example, if you do not have a core purpose for living then what does it matter if you are thin or fat, healthy or sick, sane or crazy, wise or foolish?  Finding a purpose for life is not purely a spiritual pursuit.  Atheists are not immune to the need for a purposeful existence.  The only difference is the basis for the rational understanding of their unique purpose.

You are a combination of a rather unique set of 3.2 billion base pairs of DNA.  Scientifically and spiritually, you shall not pass this way again.  Even a clone will technically not be you, as it would be constrained to experience a completely different time and set of circumstances.   You belong here… to this time and place.  Accept that the universe has placed you where and when you are.  Whether it be the forces of evolution and circumstance or by divine intent, you came to be here today.

Accepting your place within time and space will allow you to look clearly at yourself and ask what role are you suited to play in the portion that has been allotted to you.  What are your talents?  What are your passions and interests?  What makes you come alive?  If these things are taking a back seat in your life then I suggest that you look at your priorities.  Because if you are not doing the things that bring enjoyment, meaning and fulfillment to your life then you won’t find much motivation to do all the other things that would otherwise bring health and other benefits to your existence.

Do not look to others to find out why you exist.  Their truths and meanings may have no bearing on you whatsoever.  Look inside and learn.  Look outside and see the possibilities, not the limitations.  Trust that you have been provided with a rational mind that can discover your own unique reasonable purpose.  Do not accept the realities that others have provided for you; they can limit your ability to see and understand.  When you are confused by life allow yourself to be puzzled and to ask “Why?”  Allow for awe and wonder. 

If you are having difficulties finding some kind of motivation I suggest that you put aside that struggle for now and instead ask yourself “Who am I?” Quietly allow the infinite number of answers to come to you.  Some will resonate more than others.  Dwell on those for they will help you to discover who you are and why you are here.  It will be a process.  Just as one does not go one day from a classroom to the pilot seat of an aircraft so too will the learning about yourself take gentle time and patience.  

I encourage you to discover your own reason for your existence.  From that answer will spring the ability and motivation for so much more.  Howard Thurman put it so eloquently:

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” 

I ask again, “Why are you here?”  I have provided some perspective and advice for one to begin to find an answer to this question.  Now I lastly ask, are you brave enough to try? 

Buddha on a Bike

 

Buddha on a Bike

©2015 Scott D. Wilson, P.Eng.

 

I am always looking for trends and common threads among successful people. Lately, I have noticed that very many successful people admit to various practices of mediation or mindfulness. The billionaire founder of Bridgewater Associates, Ray Dalio went so far as to say “Meditation more than anything in my life was the biggest ingredient of whatever success I've had.” That is quite an endorsement! There have been countless studies on meditation and here are just a few of positive effects of meditation:

• Reduction in stress and a better ability to handle stressors
• Improved brain functions
• Increased productivity in high performance situations
• Reduction in the symptoms of anxiety and depression
• Improved ability to fight disease and to maintain health
• Better-quality sleep
• Longer attention span and stronger ability to focus
• Increased metabolism and assists in weight loss (Yes, weight loss – through the increase in mitochondria!!)
• Greater level of creativity

These are just a small sampling of the benefits of meditative practices.

Now if you are like me then when you hear the words mindfulness and meditation you suddenly get a vision of a long-haired old hermit with a flowing beard seated at the top of a mountain. The reality is that nothing could be further from the truth. In the 60’s the Beatles introduced eastern transcendental meditation into mainstream western culture. Since then we have tended to focus on the various forms of seated meditation from the ancient Ascetics to Zen monks. Fortunately, seated or static meditation is but one form of mindful exercises.

For me, the thought of sitting for a prolonged period without movement with the aim of clearing my mind and my thoughts is right up there with listening to fingers raking down a chalkboard. I am in no way dissing this means of contemplation. There is a time and a place for such practice and it is better suited for some people and less so for others. If these work for you then I encourage you to continue.

Others like me have been discouraged with many of the transcendental techniques. Fortunately, there are alternatives and I wish to increase awareness of them. Some of you may know that there are techniques known as moving meditation. By far the most popular is the practice of Tai Chi. Many martial arts employ moving meditations. For example, Karate employs various moving exercises called katas. Yes, these routines are a form of practicing the offensive and defensive techniques. They are also excellent forms of moving meditation.

Anyone who has sought to master a Tai Chi form or a martial art kata knows that you start out thinking your way through them and your mind jabbers as it seeks to remember and follow the movements. However, as you become more adept your mind stills as your focus on your arms, legs, breathing and so much more absorbs your entire attention. For folks like me this is a marvelous form of meditation – moving outside and still inside.

“But I don’t like martial arts and Tai Chi just isn’t for me!” you object. Guess what? Martial arts do not have the lock on this form of mindfulness. Ask a marathon runner or any other serious athlete and they will tell you that when they hit their stride that there are moments of peacefulness and stillness as all they hear is their blood pounding and the rhythm of their limbs. Do you have to be a professional athlete? Not from my experience. I have discovered that my meditation often occurs atop the pedals of my bicycle.

Sure, I start out just thinking about my day as I get started pedaling down my driveway. The mind is a persistent beast and it wants to go over all the various concerns of the day ahead. Eventually, as I drive my bike harder either in silence or while listening to music then the thoughts slowly quiet. There is just me and my bike connected to the road, the trees, the grass, the dew, the sunshine and the entire universe.

So am I saying that you must become a Buddha on a bike? No, but you must find an exercise that you can use for at least ten minutes that will afford you some quiet contemplation. I have found such moments of meditation in Tai Chi Chuan, running, biking, skiing, walking quietly and even while washing dishes. The key is to immerse yourself in the activity. Give it your whole attention. When you are performing your activity perform it to your best. Pay attention to details. Pay attention to your movement, to your limbs, to your breath, to your heartbeat, to you surroundings (smells, sights, physical sensations, noises and even tastes). If possible, don’t linger on one thing. However, it is perfectly ok to get lost in something. The moments of quiet clarity will come and go – do not be discouraged. Practice diligently and through repetition and improving skill you will eventually find the still part of your mind.    

So when you hear the benefits of meditation do not sigh longingly and despair at the thought of a sore posterior and nodding off in a temple. Instead, get up, get moving and find the mindfulness activity that will allow you your own brand of meditation! Let us follow the many successful leaders along the quiet and gentle mind’s path to our goals!  

Going Dry

 

Going Dry

©Scott D. Wilson, P.Eng. 2015

 

Writer ’s block, losing your muse, loss of inspiration are just a few terms for what happens when innovative people hit the metaphorical wall in their running quest for creativity.  This process seems to happen to every artist, inventor or innovator.  I can tell you that it is a difficult state for those whose spirit is driven to bring forth new creations and ideas.  It is very much like the soul lost in the desert thirsting for water.

 

Perhaps a metaphor might help to explain.  I have found that the creative process is very much akin to the physical procreative process.  Ideas seem to be inseminated within our minds during the loving exercise of our passions.  Once planted a creative vision is wrestled with as it grows and takes on a life of its own within you.  Just like pregnancy, it is an uncomfortable time as the new dream kicks and challenges the old ideas.  Your mind’s horizons are stretched and grow as the notion wrestles with past thoughts and experiences.

 

And then one day the urgency of the idea becomes intense and the near frenzied birth process takes place as the concept demands attention and action in becoming something physical: a story, a poem, a song, a picture, an invention, a business plan, a recipe, a…  And just like a proud parent you cautiously take your creation out to show to others hoping that they too will see its beauty.

It should be evident that this process can stall at many of the stages along the way but the one that troubles most folks is the inspiration at the very beginning.  Novel and interesting ideas seem to dry up and blow away.  Everything seems old.  The creative individual is left struggling and wondering why their source of inspiration has dried up.  From my own experience this state occurs progressively and results from one thing:  living an uninspiring life. 

 

This may sound overly simplistic but believe me that my statement is quite vast in its implications.  Most do not realize that their ideas are born of their daily life experiences.  Thanks to our hippocampus we only consciously perceive a small percentage of what our senses bring into us on a daily basis.  If this were not the case then we would be inundated by all the tastes, smells, colours, sounds and sensations.   Nonetheless, as we live and experience our days with all their sensations, emotions and thinking we gain experience that is stored and generates our thoughts, ideas and dreams.  Most scientists presently believe that our dreams are a way of our minds processing all that we have perceived, consciously and unconsciously during our day. 

 

In essence, our minds digest the experiences that we put into them every day and turn them into understanding and ideas.  In other words, the mind eats life experience like the body eats food.  Our minds grow strong and our wits sharpen when we provide them with stimulating events and ideas.  Unfortunately, we often allow life to become too routine or mundane and we lose our appreciation for the miracle of our own particular existence.  The common yet mundane entertainment and distractions of life rob our minds of the experiences that they crave.  This often happens through the natural survival processes of our usual days.  I have a few suggestions to correct this matter.

 

My first proposal:  Meditation.  Now before you roll your eyes and tell me that meditation is not for you I need you to revisit the concept of meditation.  When most hear the term mediation they envision guru’s seated on mats with their eyes closed for hours in silent contemplation.   This stereotype is a rather myopic view of mediation.  Mediation has many forms both static and active.  A popular active form of meditation is the Chinese martial art and activity Tai Chi Chuan.  However, others find mediation in a quiet walk with one’s pet or jogging with classic music.  My point is that each one of us can find a form of mediation that works for us.  I encourage you to find yours, anything to free your mind from the day’s mundane thoughts.

 

My next recommendation:  Reconnection with God or the Universe.  Knowing who we are and our purpose plays a strong role in bringing inspiration to our lives.  Similar to mediation, some find prayer to be a conduit for connecting to their spiritual side.  This connection can however take many forms.  Many find understanding of their identity through study and their family, cultural roots or their past.   Our lives were meant to be lived but they were also meant to be reflected upon to be understood and given meaning.  The ancient Greek philosopher Socrates put it this way “The unexamined life is not worth living.”  Whether practical or spiritual, many find that journaling or writing a diary helps them to connect with themselves.  Again, I urge the reader to find their own particular habitual connection.

 

Another suggestion:  Follow a passion or a hobby.  This may seem trite but it is a serious statement.  Many popular teachers today encourage us to find our passion, as if this is a singular thing.  However, many successful people pursue multiple interests and enjoy a variety of hobbies.  Our interests help us to relax and encourage us in our creativity.  Baking a cake or brewing beer may seem completely unrelated to writing or playing an instrument but many attest that following seemingly commonplace activities quiet minds and stir creative juices.  Often our hobbies can become forms of active meditation.  Likewise, following our various interests can also lead to better understanding of ourselves and our purpose.

 

Finally, I recommend:  Associate with other creative people.   There are several reasons why like-minded people form clubs and associations.  Certainly, one of the most significant reasons is to share information and ideas about their work and interests.  Creative people tend to brainstorm ideas with others who share their passions. If your well has run dry then it is a good idea to look around and fins some groups of people who are pursuing your craft.  The internet is filled with coaches, clubs, associations, mastermind groups and the like.  The point is, join one or more such groups and participate in their forums and real-life gatherings.  Write and chat with these people.  Help others to get started.  Whether giving or receiving help and advice you will learn and benefit.  Proverbs 27:17 of the Bible puts it well: “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”

 

Those four related suggestions form my recommended oasis for those thirsting for their muse or spark of creativity.  I am sure that other venues exist and I encourage you to try them all.  As in other areas of our life we need not feel like victims when our ideas become sparse.  We can be empowered to re-establish our own imaginations and rekindle the fires of inspiration in our lives.  It is not hard to lead an inspiring life but it does take effort and intention at times.  We have only ourselves and our own misgivings preventing us from regaining what we may feel that we have lost.  Let nothing stand between you and your muse!  I tend to agree with author and speaker Jacob Nordby when he stated:

“Writer's block is just another name for fear.”

On a parting note, if you want to hear an inspiring story from a modern artist who lost and found his muse I highly recommend Sting’s powerful TED Talk entitled “How I started writing songs again”:
https://www.ted.com/talks/sting_how_i_started_writing_songs_again?language=en