Invisible Heroes

●♥ Invisible Heroes ♥●

“The battles that count aren't the ones for gold medals. The struggles within yourself – the invisible battles inside all of us – that's where it's at.”

–Jesse Owens

The world best knows Jesse Owens for the gold medals that he won in the 1936 Olympics in Berlin, Germany.  However, his life shows us that he had to overcome many personal trials and troubles well beyond those we saw on the athletic field.  So too it is with each one of us.  Every visible victory that we can actually witness has been preceded by the triumph of countless savage internal battles.

Sure, we see and cheer the winning goals and the home runs but we never see the motivational struggles to practice in the early morning hours.  We keep score of all the touchdowns but we do not count all the decisions to make the effort that keeps improving the best and making it better.  Yet these are the necessary and heroic choices that play out daily and yield the wins that we all applaud.

We do not see the real wars that define our society.  If we could then we would soon realize that we are surrounded by invisible heroes.  We would see the tired and lonely person behind the cheerful smile of our friendly server.  We would know and understand the disappointment and failed dreams of our productive co-worker.  In short, we would see the scars and wounds on people’s hearts and souls and I think we would become far more kind, forgiving and understanding.

I recognize that we all need ideals to encourage and inspire us; the big shiny heroes that media and society regularly hail feed that appetite.  I do not want to take away from those people and their achievements.  What I am hoping to do is twofold.  First, I would like us to open our eyes and our minds to the invisible heroes that circulate around each and every one of us.

We may not see their struggles but we should know that everyone has them and we need to realize that even the most mundane of us can be waging heroic battle and overcoming some very real demons in just to keep going every day.  Earning a living, keeping a loving family together, being a good friend and citizen… these simple things should not be downplayed or undervalued.  We all know and see the terrible costs when individuals lose the invisible wars.

Secondly, I would like us to acknowledge our own invisible struggles and victories.  We need to give ourselves credit for wrestling with our own fears. We may not always outwardly succeed when we choose to oppose our fears, but I assert that we always win somehow when we make that choice.  When we turn away from the darkness and choose life and living, no matter how hard, then that is a victory.  When life slaps us hard and yet we choose to push back our tears and try again tomorrow that is triumphant!  

Yes, we should celebrate when we achieve or make progress towards outward goals.  So too should we rejoice when we overcome the naysayers in our minds and opt to hold true to our hearts dream.  Heroes are made from the inside out and there are far more heroes than we ever acknowledge.  Let’s see ourselves and each other with new eyes today.

Perhaps that person that you smiled at is fellow warrior in heart of a battle and you just provided them some more ammo to continue the good fight.  Acknowledge your own silent conflicts and make note when you make difficult positive choices.  Be compassionate both within and without.  Remember that though not all battles yield gold medals this does not mean that they do not count.  The ground you gain in your heart today make be the seed to the success that shines through tomorrow.  

Cheers!

©2020 Scott D. Wilson

Distant Not Disconnected

●♥● Distant Not Disconnected ●♥●

“Of all diseases I have known, loneliness is the worst. The greatest disease in the West today is not TB or leprosy; it is being unwanted, unloved, and uncared for. We can cure physical diseases with medicine, but the only cure for loneliness, despair, and hopelessness is love.”

–Mother Teresa

By trade, I am an electrical engineer specializing in telecommunications.  The word telecommunication comes from télé- ‘at a distance’ and communication.  I guess this makes me an expert in connecting people across distances.  I use copper, fibre, radio and satellite to bring people together across the globe.  The electron and the photon are my messengers between those whom I unite through voice and video.  

I have come to realize that I do far more than bring people together with technology.  I also have a unique talent for writing which bonds people through shared experiences and insightful ideas.  As an engineer and problem solver I have for many year exercised innovation and creativity to help others to achieve their goals.  I gather together wisdom and knowledge from diverse sources and then skillfully implement them to aid people to connect and help each other in achieving their goals.

With technology, I unite folks face to face, visually and verbally linking them, allowing them to collaborate. With words I seek to connect hearts and minds through stories, images and ideas. None of these connections are limited by distance.  We call internet meetings virtual, as if they are somehow less real than physical ones.  Are the words of a newspaper or magazine more real or important than those of blog or website?  Is it less real to hear the words “I love you!” whispered on the phone than directly into your ear? 

I am not downplaying actual physical connections. A gentle touch has no equivalent in cyberspace right now.  That does not negate the reality that we can be distant but still connected. There is a difference between being alone and being lonely.  Solitude can be a joy when one understands that we remain linked not matter where we are physically. I do not cease to be a son when my mother is not present. I am still a neighbour even when I cannot see those who live nearby.  

Meanwhile, it is possible for someone to be lonely even amidst a crowd of thousands.  Isolation is not necessary to foster alienation. Loneliness is simply the personal disconnection from all the life around us.  Loneliness screams that no one and nothing cares about or notices us. It insists that we don’t matter to anybody or anything. It works to convince us that we have no meaningful relationships, connections to existence. 

Mother Teresa was right, loneliness is a terrible disease.  Despite our many opportunities to connect so many of us feel unwanted, unloved and uncared for.  This is the disgrace of modern times.  We fight so hard against viruses and disease and yet we allow ourselves to believe that we are utterly alone.  It is tragic that anyone feels unnecessary. We are all significant in fabric of humanity. I cannot imagine what brushstroke would not be needed in the masterpiece of Leonardo’s Mona Lisa nor what tree would be superfluous in the grandeur of a forest.  Their loss would diminish the whole. 

Each of us belongs; only fear and bitterness allow us to conceive otherwise. Love binds us, and love is always there. Love abides in the kindness of a stranger. Love shines is the smile of friend.  Love beckons in the words of favourite story or a old note sent to us long ago. Love is broadcast in the morning notes of a little songbird. If we do not let fear blind and deafen us to the love that surrounds and connects us then we can plainly know that we need not be lonely for we are a part of the network of life, needed and needing others.  

There are no islands in the sea of humanity. We are born linked to those who love and raise us and to all the lives they also touched.  As we grow our own bonds expand, for they can never diminish as our experience intermingles with life.  The love and caring that we are shown cannot be extinguished by time nor space.  People and life itself may seem distant but that does not make us disconnected from them.  I hope what I have shared here help lift some loneliness and enables the understanding that distance in time or space does not disconnect us from love and life. 

Cheers!

©2020 Scott D. Wilson 

Choosing Your Loss

●♥● Choosing Your Loss ●♥●

“To dare is to lose one’s footing momentarily.Not to dare is to lose oneself.”

          —Soren Kierkegaard

If you are reading my words here then you likely have dared to attempt to change yourself. You are daring to move towards your goals and seek success. In this place, you likely feel that you are on unsure footing. You do not know if the changes that you are making will succeed or not.  You wonder if your efforts will pay off. You have lost your stability, comfort and familiarity. You are chancing failure, disappointment and pain. Every moment tempts you to give in and go back to your old easy habits and lifestyle. Before you do, consider what you would be losing.

You will lose one more day creating the self that you desire. You will lose the satisfying experience of time spent working toward your goals and sadly you will gain more regret for the possibilities that you neglected. You will lose an opportunity to improve and to grow. You will lose precious time needed to help you become the person that you yearn to be. When you chose not to dare you are actually losing yourself.

Both risk and security both carry loss. One loses stability and the other loses oneself. Knowing this, choose your loss wisely.

Cheers!

©2019 Scott D. Wilson, P.Eng.

Applied Power

Applied Power 

“Knowledge isn’t power until it is applied.” 
–Dale Carnegie 

The old adage “Knowledge is power,” is incorrect. Knowledge itself is useless if you do not know how to use it to your advantage. Scientists seek knowledge and understanding of the material world.  As an engineer, I am an applied scientist. I take these discovered scientific principles and apply them to real world situations in order to create things that empower people to do different things.  It is this proper application of information that creates the power.


Thanks to Einstein, most people know that energy equals mass times the speed of light squared.  However, almost nobody in general knows how to meaningfully apply that knowledge.  Here where I work, we take that fact an apply it to create electrical power from the decay of Uranium.  Only when properly applied does knowledge actually become power.  It is also this same knowledge that can be applied to create weapons of unbelievable power and destruction.

Knowledge alone by itself is useless and impotent.  In fact, knowledge can be worse than useless, it can become a trap.  The quest for knowledge can be addictive.  We can get stuck seeking more and more information and all the while never learning to do anything useful with what we have already discovered.  You can see this a to certain degree in the condition described as analysis paralysis; this is where a person never makes a decision and acts on it because they feel they do not yet have enough information to decide properly.  The fear of what they do not know pushes them to know more and evermore.   This thirst for more knowledge can blind us to the truth that we need to act on what we already know.  It reminds me of the biblical text in 2 Timothy 3:7 that speaks to our tendency towards such foolish behaviour:  "(They will be) always learning but never able to come to a knowledge of the truth."

It should be noted that not all knowledge is truth nor can it all be used in a beneficial manner.  For example, you may learn of gruesome and terrible details about a person’s death but that knowledge might serve to do nothing more than give you horrific nightmares.  Meanwhile, other knowledge may be false or at best only true under specific circumstances.   Wrong knowledge applied unwisely has disastrous results, as history has repeatedly shown us in our many foolish crusades and persecutions or people that were feared or reviled.


It is our job as individuals to look at what we know to be true and to act wisely and correctly on that.  Chasing after more information while ignoring what we already know is foolhardy.  If we do not apply what we know right now to be true then the knowledge of that truth stands only to condemn us.   Knowing that we need to eat well and remain active in order to become and stay healthy is of little value if we do not consequently choose to apply that fact to our lives.  If we do not wish to live in guilt about this information then we need to find creative ways that work for us in our diets and our lifestyles.

Clearly, it is not knowledge itself that brings power. Knowledge brings the potential for power through applied action towards a worthy goal.  We must be careful of the trap of knowledge.  If we are not constructively applying what we already know then further learning just adds to the list of things that we are failing to do.  We should not fear the unknown but instead seek new and creative ways to apply what we already know towards our desired objectives.  We need to ask and confirm that the knowledge we have is actually positive and true.  If it is then we should vigorously act on it and apply it to our benefit so that we set ourselves free.

©2018 Scott D. Wilson, P.Eng.

Valuable Perspective

Valuable Perspective

“The world owes you nothing. It was here first.” –Mark Twain

A colleague of mine used to live in Port Rupert, British Columbia.  He still has many good friends there.  About a year ago he told me of one such friend of his who was living there with her husband and her young daughter.  He explained to me that she had an appointment with a specialist down the coast in Vancouver.  She had been feeling unwell for quite some time and after a battery of tests she was hoping they could finally tell her the cause of her decline in health.  Her husband and daughter had accompanied her on the long trip down the coast.  Unfortunately, she was given some pretty grave news.  She had stage four cancer and there was no chance for a cure.  They gave her less than a year to live.  Stunned by this brutal revelation, the three of them shuffled into their car and set off up the coast for the long ride home.

My colleague further explained to me that his friend was lying down in the back and her husband and daughter were seated in the front of the vehicle.   Unfortunately, the road was treacherous that day and her husband lost control of the car. It careened off the highway and into the ocean.  In a chaotic instant she was struggling to get free of the vehicle before it sank completely beneath the icy waves. Sadly, she found herself alone on the shore.  In less than one day she had lost her entire family and any hope for her future. Personally, I do not know how she could carry on.  This is simply the most tragic tale that I have ever heard in my life.  The other day, my co-worker informed me that his friend finally lost her battle with cancer.  I do not know her name or how she lived her remaining time but her terrible tale haunts me.

I struggle to find anything meaningful or positive from this one person’s tragic nightmare.  It reminds me of Bill Murray’s remarkable but painful insight at the end of the film The Razor’s Edge, “When Piedmont died, I had to pay him back for my life. I found out there's another debt to pay — for the privilege of being alive. I thought Sophie was my reward for trying to live a good life. Uh uh. There is no payoff — not now.”  We all so terribly want our payoffs in this life, but that is a very unfair expectation of this world.  The truth is that we hold this foolish expectation because we live amidst the abundant privileges of the first world.  Those of poorer nations hold no such illusions about how harsh and unfair reality can be.

I am not seeking to be maudlin.  As terrible as the events I described were they did provide that woman with at least one remarkable opportunity.  In one day she was stripped of all the fallacies that we so often cling to throughout our lives.  She could not deny her mortality any longer and she saw the futility of seeking direct rewards through this life itself.  To paraphrase Bill Murray, she completely understood the debt to pay for the privilege of being alive.  That is not a lesson learned by many, yet it can be invaluable to those who get it. It crystalizes our priorities and burns away pettiness.  Here was a woman with absolutely nothing to lose in life… she had already lost it all.

This tale provides me is perspective and priority.  From it I realize that this life owes us nothing, absolutely nothing.  We are privileged to be on this journey no matter how long and pleasant or short and brutal it may be.  It is what we choose to do with the time that we have that gives real meaning to our lives.  As to priorities, it reminds me that we truly have no time for trivial pettiness.  How small do my problems seem in comparison to those that this woman faced in her short remaining days.  How can I waste my time in foolish worry and self-doubt?  I see the vital importance of remaining here and now and addressing the priorities in this very moment.  This woman’s life urges me to be bold because I too can lose everything that I cherish in an instant.  I clearly see the fleeting nature of all physical things and the permanent and transcendent nature love and its actions.

Yes, I told you a tragic tale, full of sorrow and woe.  You can casually dismiss it as just someone else’s random misfortune and go on your merry way.  However, I hope that, like myself, you can use this harsh reality to splash some cold water on your soul and awaken it to that which is truly important here and now.  We can realize that if we should live long enough then we will ultimately face these very same circumstances stretched across a longer period of time.   It simply makes sense to learn from this condensed life lesson and if we can avoid turning away from it then this ugly dark reality can actually provide us a wonderful and valuable perspective.

©2018 Scott D. Wilson

The Cure for Bad Déjà Vu

The Cure for Bad Déjà Vu 

“You can’t undo the past…but you can certainly not repeat it.” –Bruce Willis

A wise man once said to me “History is nothing more than collection of lessons never learned.”  Alas, I sadly believe that he was correct.  Even individually we tend to live each day as if the previous ones had very little to add.  If I were to ask you what yesterday taught you would you have an immediate reply?  How about last week, month or a year ago?  If we are healthy people then we should be growing and growing means continuous learning and change.  We should be using our past properly to improve ourselves so as not to repeat its mistakes.

Unfortunately, it is my observation that we humans have a strong tendency to repeat negative cycles.  In short, we seem to have propensity for reiterating the errors of the past.  Like a patient teacher, life keeps giving us similar situations over and over, day after day, in the hopes that we will eventually learn the lessons and then move on to different challenges where we will then obtain new knowledge and diverse experiences.  If you are honest with yourself you will see that your own behaviours set the stage for a great deal of what you experience during the day.  If negatives are repeating then you are the most significant common factor in the equation.  Personally, time and time again I have experienced some painful situations that I could not seem to avoid until I finally saw and acknowledged my own role in their creation.

Nobody likes déjà vu when it comes to their past mistakes.  While we certainly are not the cause of all our own misery, when it comes to chronic situations we almost always play a very significant role.    Unfortunately, it is quite natural and easy to see and blame external causes for all out mishaps: if this hadn’t happened, if she hadn’t done that or if they wouldn’t say that.  It’s like the Joni Mitchell song Both Sides Now, “So many things I would have done but clouds got in my way.”  We are all talented at making excuses for what we have neglected.  We fail to see that it is this brilliant talent that helps to feed our cycle of repeating our past gaffes. 

It may sound egotistical or even masochistic but there is great value in taking personal responsibility for your outcomes regardless of the situation or the actions of others.  If it is all your fault when something doesn’t go as you planned then you have all the power to fix it because you have significant ability to make changes to yourself and your behaviours.  If it is something or someone else’s fault then you have far less influence over them and therefore you have less chance of improving your outcomes.  Taking back your responsibility is very empowering.  You do not need to own the behaviours and responses of others but you can certainly be frank with yourself about your own actions, reactions and choices.

Break your past situations down into the choices that you made.  Determine if you could creatively make different options for yourself that you did not perceive at the time.  Use your imagination to come up with alternative responses the difficulties that you encountered.  This is almost a form of mental and emotional martial arts.  Life situations present us with decisions in the same way an opponent’s actions require response.  If we practice sparring in a safe place and objectively analyze our performance then we can develop tactics that better ensure our outcome in future conflicts.  We learn when to block, dodge, push, pull or simply move out of the way completely. This is true in both physical and metaphysical situations. When an encounter throws an emotional or mental jab at you then can unlearn your clumsy unhealthy habitual responses and instead apply some skilled countermoves.

There is a cure for bad déjà vu.  By learning from it we can determine how not to repeat our past. If we do this then we obtain something far better than undoing our previous errors.  We will obtain new and better life skills and start to rid ourselves of negative patterns that we may have developed.  By practicing this we can become black-belts in overcoming the past and then we will move on to new and different lessons in the dojo of life.

©2018 Scott D. Wilson

Unhappiness Guaranteed: 17 Tips

Unhappiness Guaranteed:  17 Tips for Misery

These simple guidelines are designed to help you remain dissatisfied and disappointed in your life. If you learn to follow these tips and tricks you are guaranteed to live an unhappy and unremarkable existence.


#1 Constantly Compare yourself to others: By comparing yourself to others you can remind yourself of the unfairness of human existence. It’s easy to find distasteful and immoral people who seem to have life easy. You strive and seek to be good and kind and life just kicks you in the teeth. But making these comparisons you can feel morally superior with minimal effort. Be careful though, don’t look at the vast majority of the planet who have it far worse than you could even imagine. This can ruin your self-satisfaction.

#2 Neglect anything good in your life: Talents and abilities, caring friends and family, career, home, community, these all take time and effort to maintain. It is far easier to keep busy with mundane entertainments and base needs. Besides, many of these thing can get messy and difficult.

#3 Foster bitterness, anger, hated, resentment and unfogiveness in your soul: These are strong emotions and they keep you strong. Forgiveness and understanding are weak and lead to you getting hurt again. Keep remembering all the painful events in your life and the people who hurt you. Never get over anything. Practice reliving your failures and betrayals daily. This keeps you strong.

#4 Worry about the possible problems of tomorrow and compare them to previous failures: This is a dangerous world. You have experienced firsthand the stings of unexpected disasters. Expect more of the same. Don’t enjoy right now or work on a better tomorrow. That will only lead to you lowering your guard and experiencing disappointment.

#5 Care a lot about the opinion of others: It is important to be like and accepted so you better work hard to liked and accepted by everyone. Define yourself by the opinions of others and their expectations. Let them tell you who you are and what you can and cannot do. At all costs, never be yourself because it’s way too easy to get hurt or rejected that way.

#6 Obsess over being right: There is only one right and everything else must be wrong. Being right is more important than anything. Sacrifice friends, family and great relationships in order to be right. Even if you are wrong or there is a miscommunication never say that you are sorry. It makes you look weak. Avoid paradoxes; they muddle up right and wrong with the truth.

#7 Place relationships last: Life is dog eat dog. You are too busy with everything else in your life to make time for you spouse, your kids or your friends. Getting ahead and your selfish needs more st come first.

#8 Take things for granted: Hey, all that good stuff in your life right now, like your health, your relationships and your well-being will still be there tomorrow. I mean, they were there yesterday so it shouldn’t change. You don’t need to appreciate them or pay attention to them. Let other people worry about that.

#9 Give up frequently on things that are important: Occasionally your pesky conscience will bother you about things like your poor fitness or a neglected relationship and you will want to do something about it. That’s ok. Go right ahead and work towards those goals, but the minute things get challenging be prepared to quit. Sure, they are important, but they can wait while you avoid the difficulties and neglect your duties. Your comfort is important after all. Be prepared to give up on yourself too because you know that you really are not worth it either.

#10 Believe that you can never change: You have always been this way. Accept it; it’s easier that way. Even if you could change it would be way too hard and only special people really change, grow and improve. Who are you to try and reach your potential?

#11 Give in to your fears and do not follow any of your passions: Fear is a good thing. It keeps us from doing dangerous things and warns us of potential dangers. Dreams and aspirations are dangerous. They can lead to you becoming a failure, being rejectied or being let down. It is far more important to be safe. Always choose safety over love, goals and aspirations.

#12 Remain a victim: Victims are powerless. Remember that. Victims are innocent of any responsibility because they have no power over their circumstances. When you are a victim then nothing is your fault. All the blame for your unhappiness and your problems belong to other people. Being a victim is the easy path. Dont forget, you must never take any responsibility for your thoughts, actions or your life.

#13 Make immediate pleasures a priority: Delayed gratification is overrated. Get yours while it’s still here. YOLO. So never neglect an opportunity to experience pleasure no matter what the long term consequences might be. Hey, tomorrow might never come so live it up.

#14 Avoid integrity, loyalty and faithfulness: These values are difficult to keep and overrated. People are much more admired for their cunning and slyness. As long as you obtain what you want then it should not matter how you got it. Living by by principles is wearisome and requires sacrifices. Remaining true to your commitments and to yourself seldom pays off short-term so why do it?

#15 Assume that everyone can see the world like you do: Everyone has eyes and ears. They can see things just like you. So of course they should be able to see and understand everything exactly the same way that you do. Their life experiences can’t be that different than yours. Everything must seem the same from every social, economical, ethnic and gender viewpoint.

#16 Never reflect on your life and learn from it: Since you are never at fault then there is no need to look at your life to correct mistakes, to learn anything or to grow. If you keep repeating the same mistakes then it is because of other people messing things up. Avoid looking objectively at your actions and their results.

#17 Always assume there will always be more time: Need to fix something or heal a relationship? Don’t rush, there is always another day. Important things can always be postponed. Take tomorrow for granted.

I hope the above information helps you to remain comfortably mediocre and unfulfilled. Remember, you are okay; it’s everybody else that needs to change.


©2018 Scott D. Wilson, P.Eng.