Perfect Imperfection

●●●Perfect Imperfection●●●

“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.” ―Albert Einstein

The wise person realizes that we can only ever know an infinitesimally small percentage of the vast reality which surrounds us and we can understand even less. In that awareness of the universe the wise one knows how ignorant and foolish he or she truly is.  Meanwhile, the average person generally misguidedly accepts his or her limited understanding for reality itself and finds frustration when that understanding is challenged.

Einstein was correct, human ignorance or stupidity is infinite.  We can never possibly hope to grasp a complete understanding of all that exists everywhere in this unending universe.  Likewise, one man or woman within their limited lifespan can only hope to master and comprehend of a miniscule fraction of all that can be experienced and understood.  Even among our chosen fields of expertise we can never sit down and proclaim our perfection of any ability.

I graduated as an electrical engineer in 1990 and yet I never expect to be the perfect electrical engineer.  I got married in 1991 and still I doubt that I will ever be a perfect husband.  I have been writing for decades and I highly doubt that I will ever perfect my craft.  Yet many keep striving day in and day out to “get it right.”  Whether it is their career, family matters, financial success, weight loss or other worthy pursuits, so many people long for the day when everything just clicks into place.

Our lives simply do not work that way.  It is not about finding the perfect spouse, the perfect job, the perfect parenting method, the perfect diet and exercise or the perfect life.  When we choose this viewpoint then the goalposts will always be moving and we will find ourselves constantly dissatisfied and disappointed.  Our ideals will torture and haunt us instead of spurring us on to improve.  We never learn to celebrate improvements because they fall short of our ultimate expectation.  Goals become drudgery and dreams become nightmares.

This thinking is so commonplace that a great many people feel trapped, desperate and demotivated.  It is no wonder that many quit their goals.  Understandably, a wiser gentler path is not apparent to them.  And so I hope that my words act as a kind of map that helps you to find this different side-street.  There is joy in discovering a way that realizes that perfection is process, not a destination.  One can discover peace of mind on a trail that rejoices in each step forward, no matter how small.  Life can follow a journey where dreams and goals shine brightly before us, leading us on a winding and adventurous pathway.  We can follow road that has abandoned getting it right and embraced getting it better.

If you are one who finds themselves hoping for their life to just start working perfectly one day, please consider that your very desire is causing you grief.  Entertain the idea that personal progress is a better means to keep one motivated and moving forwards.  Use your ideals wisely and you can find perfect contentment amidst imperfection when you come to realize:

“Life is not about getting it right.Life is about getting it better.” –Me

Cheers!
©2017 Scott D. Wilson

Critics for Breakfast

Critics for Breakfast

 “There is only one way to avoid criticism, do nothing, say nothing and be nothing.” –Aristotle

Criticism, it comes from many sources:  friends, family, strangers and even ourselves.  Rarely a day goes by where I do not see posts on here where someone has not been stung in some way by a judgmental thought.  Noble Aristotle makes a very wise point here.  We seem to face criticism for what we do, what we say, what think and what we are.   So we can avoid criticism.  We can largely avoid the slings and arrows of our fellow man and woman: do nothing, say nothing and be nothing. They can’t critique a target that isn’t there.

Or we can accept that there is a cost to becoming something more than we are today.  We can acknowledge that there will always be a source of disparaging thoughts and comments that will be sent in our way as long as we strive for to be better.  We can understand that everyone who advanced was met with detractors and naysayers.  We can know in our hearts and our spirits that mere negative words will be part of the price that we gladly pay to become far more than nothing! Then turn the negatives around with your resolve. Let their “No, you can’t.” be the fuel for your “Oh yes, I can!”

Here’s to a day filled with our potential, bring on the critics…I’m hungry!

©2017 S.D. Wilson

Becoming "Unplugged"

Becoming "Unplugged"

©Scott D. Wilson 2014

"It is both beneficial, noble and healthy to be an idealist and to pursue improvement. It is however naïve, delusional and unhealthy to expect others to equally adopt and reflect these same ideals"

As of late, the contrast between ideals and expectations seems to be surrounding me.  I see it's effect on so many lives.  Our understanding of our surroundings dictates not only how we see the world but also what we expect from it.  Because our world is all around us all the time we take much of it for granted.  One big mistake that we all make daily is to assume that others experience and understand life in a manner similar to our own.

For example, we might value kindness and seek to be kinder. We then expect all others around us, say family, friends, acquaintances and co-workers, to operate from the same principle.  Is this realistic?  It is even fair?  If someone had been abused throughout much of their life with little exposure to gentleness then their view of kindness might be drastically different than someone who has been raised in a nurturing and caring environment.  It would be unreasonable to hold these two examples to the same standard of kindness.

I would like to use a more concrete example.  What about expecting others to view weight loss and our need to be healthier in the same way that we do?  I am a moderator on a web site that helps people to change their lifestyle, lose weight and become healthier.  Many people who come to the site are puzzled and even upset when their friends, family and colleagues are ambivalent, questioning or even adverse towards their efforts to lose weight and get healthier.  It greatly perplexes them that all their associations are not synchronized with their beliefs  about becoming healthy.  Why wouldn't they want them to become fit?

The answer to this question is not all that surprising but most fail to see it.  The reactions of our associates are not about us as individuals.  Their reactions are a reflection upon themselves.  The average person is unfortunately fairly insecure and unrealistically self-conscious.  They view the world as somewhat hostile and antagonistic, hence the common idiom "It's a jungle out there."  They are keenly aware of all their flaws and failings and the world tends to remind them that they are not smart enough, pretty enough or successful enough.

To protect themselves from depression and despair most people rationalize their current state.  Success is for the few, the fortunate and the favoured.  It is not their fault that they are fat, poor or whatever.  That is just the unlucky hand that life has dealt to them.  Unfortunately, this view is continuously challenged by those who rise above their circumstances.  Remarkable people remind us all that we actually have the ability to take control of our lives.  The common man or woman does not want to acknowledge this because it would mean that they are responsible for their life and where they are presently.  This realization does not empower them to act.  It makes them despair.

Our gut reaction to any death or trauma is denial.  It does not matter if it is the death of someone close or the death of a cherished excuse.  The reaction is the same.  And so it is that when anyone begins to shed their self-loathing and self-imposed limitations that others do not immediate cheer them on but instead seek to remind them of who they are and why they are that way.  Those closest to us may actually react the most harshly because they know our history and therefore it is easier to deny our changes than to accept them.

In the movie "The Matrix" the reality of this situation is driven home in a visible manner.  The heroes are those who have been 'unplugged' from the Matrix and who have come to liberate all the rest of the people whose minds are enslaved.  The 'Agents' represent the system that seeks to deceive and oppress mankind.  What is interesting is that Agents always manifest through the people that are still connected to the Matrix.   Our protagonist, Neo is warned:

"The Matrix is a system, Neo. That system is our enemy. But when you're inside, you look around, what do you see? Business men, teachers, lawyers, carpenters. The very minds of the people we are trying to save. But until we do, these people are still a part of that system, and that makes them our enemy. You have to understand, most of these people are not ready to be unplugged. And many of them are so inured, so hopelessly dependent on the system, that they will fight to protect it."

The same holds true for us.  When we unplug from the belief that success is for the special people we immediately become enemies of system of belief that surrounds us.  When we begin to demonstrate commitment to improve and overcome we become a thorn in the side of those who seek to remain the same.  We are adversaries to the safety of the status quo and those who rely on it will oppose us.

An form of self-actualization makes us a target.  So whether it is losing weight, starting a business, quitting a thankless job or any other noble ideal we should not be surprised by opposition even when it comes from those closest to us.  It simply is not fair to expect them to see things as we do.  They have not come to the same awareness.   Please understand their fears and insecurities and don't be surprised if they react unkindly.  Remember,  they are not 'unplugged' yet.

“Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.” ― Albert Einstein
 

Sticky Problems!

Sticky Problems!

©Scott D. Wilson 2014


Whether you are an illustrious business tycoon or a lowly street sweeper life is full of trials and problems.  Married or single, rich or poor, famous or obscure, the process of living presents us daily with challenges that we need to face.  Author and speaker Helen Keller once so eloquently put it:

“The struggle of life is one of our greatest blessings. It makes us patient, sensitive, and Godlike. It teaches us that although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it.”

Troubles are a universal part of the human condition and will continue to be so for as long as we exist.  Many make it their goal in life to avoid as many problems as possible but that is futile. It is far wiser to learn how to better handle the challenges that befall us.  I work as an engineer.  Engineers are often viewed as professional problem-solvers because they tend to have a knack for developing solutions to physical problems.  One thing I have learned is that how you look at a difficulty has the greatest effect on your ability to discover a solution to it.


I once took a driving course called "Skid School" where they purposefully put us in vehicles and caused them to skid and spin.  Our job was to skillfully apply what they taught us in the classroom to recover from the skids, regain control of the car and avoid hitting objects on the road.  The most valuable lesson that I learned from this experience was simply this:  We tend to hit the thing that we look at.


In driving, the instructors emphasized that many people unintentionally get stuck staring at an unexpected object that enters their driving path. The people then unfortunately tend to hit these random distractions.  During one lesson we drove a car down a slippery road and an instructor would move an object from either the left or right side and we had to avoid it even when the vehicle started to skid.


It is so instinctive for us to focus on the problem when it appears.  Many in the class saw the object in their path and despite carefully braking they were helpless to avoid colliding with it because they kept their attention on the obstacle.  The instructors explained that to avoid the problem the driver needed to look beyond it towards the destination that the wanted to go.  When we learned to look down the road we could readily avoid the obstacles that suddenly appeared on the path even though our cars were on slippery roads and began to skid.


In the final lesson the instructors sent the cars into a rear wheel skid with the car viciously spinning in circles.  The students had to recover control of the vehicle and keep the cars on the road and going in the original direction.  Again, to do this the drivers had to maintain focus on the destination, far off down the road that they were travelling.  I learned that day that I could recover from a very dangerous skid as long I kept my eyes on where I wanted to keep the car going.


I offer this long-winded story on safe car driving to illustrate a common flaw in how we often approach less tangible problems in our lives.  When we encounter challenges in life so many of us lose sight of our goals and spend our time looking at the barriers.  This is somewhat instinctive and natural.  Fear draws our attention away from the objective that we seek and desire!


This mistake seems to happen in so many areas of our lives.  In engineering we can get lost trying to fix a technical issue when we might do better looking at developing alternative ways to achieve the same objective.  When looking at our health we tend to get stuck looking at our diseases rather than improving well-being.  With fitness we get mired focusing on our weight and our fat when developing our muscles and overall health would serve us better.

We can plainly see this kind of thinking at work throughout our society.  We have anti-bullying campaigns not inclusivity and empathy programs. There are anti-poverty initiatives but very few prosperity movements.  As good intentioned as they may be, it is my experience that anything with an 'anti' focus tends to exacerbate the undesirable element.  Many bad ideas and thinking unfortunately thrive through resistance rather than diminishing. 

I have discovered that when I let go of the problem and start to focus again on where I want to go that the best ideas to address my present situation arise.  Whether it is my weight, my finances, my personal relationships or my job, I have learned that the fears about my goals become distractions.  My success is surer when moving towards the goal remains the objective rather than avoiding the pitfalls.


So I encourage you today to approach your troubles better.  Let go of your sticky problems.  Look again down the path towards the goals that you want to achieve.  Keep your attention on what moves you forward and not on the things that block your path or have you looking backwards.  Only then will you be able to keep control, steer clear and keep on the road to success!