What if…

What if… 

“Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” –Thomas A. Edison

These are some very haunting words. The line between succeeding and failing is truly razor thin. I sometimes get goose bumps when I reflectively consider the possible impact upon our world had some of our greatest pioneers and people given up when they encountered opposition, adversity or a pressure to conform. Imagine a world under the following conditions:

What if… Arthur and Kate Keller had followed common practice in the late 1800’s and placed their deaf and blind daughter in institutional care?

What if… in 1890 Marie Curie had accepted the Polish prohibition of women from university education, never joining the clandestine Flying University?

What if… Steve Job had cut his losses in 1986 after having been kicked out of Apple and NeXT Inc. was on the ropes, never looking at Pixar?

What if… Isaac Newton had listened to his mother and remained a farmer?

What if… J.K. Rowling had given up writing while struggling on welfare?

What if… Walt Disney had believed the editor in 1919 who fired him because he “lacked imagination and had no good ideas.”

I could list countless examples like these. Each of these people had moments where they could have stopped following their dreams or given up on themselves. No one would have condemned them. Everyone would have understood. History would have simply rolled on without them. It chills me further to realize that there likely are some minds and hearts like these that have already quit and deprived us of their amazing innovations and ideas. We likely will never know what we have lost.

What does Edison’s warning say about us and our own efforts when we consider quitting? How close are we to finding success? Is that last failure our breaking point or the one just before our breakthrough? Is there a mother lode of triumph buried inside us just beneath that last stinging defeat? If we give up then we will never truly know. Our own greatness may not shine brightly before the world like that of the people I listed above. Yet it would remain an equally great tragedy for any of us to live our lives with our noblest potential undiscovered, undeveloped and unachieved.

In this life when it comes to our own success, it is always too early to quit and never too late to get up and keep going.


©2017 S.D.Wilson

Can, Do and Will

•••••Can, Do and Will•••••

This morning I woke up with an idea in my head that I could not shake.  Who we choose to listen to and the ideas that we consider and adopt make all the difference in the world.  I have followed some bad advice and wasted my efforts on some poor ideas in my time!  Likewise, I have been blessed by some wise people and been given some sage instruction.  In time, I have become much better at discerning the difference between wisdom and folly, or at least I hope so.

So I then considered how I might help others to avoid some of my foolish paths and instead choose more advantageous counsel.  I wondered if there were a good litmus test that I could conceive of which could then be applied to the many words of the people around us who seek to offer us direction on the matters of our life and our dreams.  Is there a good way to carefully consider the statements of others?  From my brief morning reflection on my life experiences, I devised the following:

“Do not heed the words of those who can’t, won’t or don’t.
Listen to advice of those who can, will and do!”

When it comes to following dreams and making our goals into reality we are best served by the thoughts, observations and advice of those whose lives embody the words ‘can,’ ‘will’ and ‘do.’ Can – exemplifies optimist and belief.  Will – shows both willingness and intention.  Do – demonstrates taking decisive constructive action.  It is those people who have had the greatest positive impact on my life!  On the negative side, it has always been the ones who couldn’t, wouldn’t and didn’t whose ideas and opinions resulted in the poorest outcomes for me.

So there it is in a nutshell: two sentences that I believe will serve us well in filtering the worthiness of the advice that is thrown at us daily.  On a similar note, I hope that my own advice here and the life that I strive to live ultimately passes the same test!

Cheers!

©2017 Scott D. Wilson

Perfect Imperfection

●●●Perfect Imperfection●●●

“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.” ―Albert Einstein

The wise person realizes that we can only ever know an infinitesimally small percentage of the vast reality which surrounds us and we can understand even less. In that awareness of the universe the wise one knows how ignorant and foolish he or she truly is.  Meanwhile, the average person generally misguidedly accepts his or her limited understanding for reality itself and finds frustration when that understanding is challenged.

Einstein was correct, human ignorance or stupidity is infinite.  We can never possibly hope to grasp a complete understanding of all that exists everywhere in this unending universe.  Likewise, one man or woman within their limited lifespan can only hope to master and comprehend of a miniscule fraction of all that can be experienced and understood.  Even among our chosen fields of expertise we can never sit down and proclaim our perfection of any ability.

I graduated as an electrical engineer in 1990 and yet I never expect to be the perfect electrical engineer.  I got married in 1991 and still I doubt that I will ever be a perfect husband.  I have been writing for decades and I highly doubt that I will ever perfect my craft.  Yet many keep striving day in and day out to “get it right.”  Whether it is their career, family matters, financial success, weight loss or other worthy pursuits, so many people long for the day when everything just clicks into place.

Our lives simply do not work that way.  It is not about finding the perfect spouse, the perfect job, the perfect parenting method, the perfect diet and exercise or the perfect life.  When we choose this viewpoint then the goalposts will always be moving and we will find ourselves constantly dissatisfied and disappointed.  Our ideals will torture and haunt us instead of spurring us on to improve.  We never learn to celebrate improvements because they fall short of our ultimate expectation.  Goals become drudgery and dreams become nightmares.

This thinking is so commonplace that a great many people feel trapped, desperate and demotivated.  It is no wonder that many quit their goals.  Understandably, a wiser gentler path is not apparent to them.  And so I hope that my words act as a kind of map that helps you to find this different side-street.  There is joy in discovering a way that realizes that perfection is process, not a destination.  One can discover peace of mind on a trail that rejoices in each step forward, no matter how small.  Life can follow a journey where dreams and goals shine brightly before us, leading us on a winding and adventurous pathway.  We can follow road that has abandoned getting it right and embraced getting it better.

If you are one who finds themselves hoping for their life to just start working perfectly one day, please consider that your very desire is causing you grief.  Entertain the idea that personal progress is a better means to keep one motivated and moving forwards.  Use your ideals wisely and you can find perfect contentment amidst imperfection when you come to realize:

“Life is not about getting it right.Life is about getting it better.” –Me

Cheers!
©2017 Scott D. Wilson

Deadly Words

•••••Deadly Words•••••

“For all sad words of tongue and pen, The saddest are these, 'It might have been'.” - John Greenleaf Whittier

I am a storyteller and a peddler of words. I know that words and how we use them have tremendous power. The right words at the correct time can spell the difference between victory and defeat, success and failure or even life and death. I agree with Mr. Whittier that "It might have been." are truly among the saddest of words. They are the eulogy for a dream.

However, before one can get to a point of such regret it would be necessary to exhaust one's opportunities. Dreams do not expire overnight. If the possibility still exists there would be no need for such lament. Only when an opportunity is completely passed will a dream die.

As we travel through life we all have dreams. We have dreams about what we will be, who we will make a life with, the family we will create or even fame and fortune. Some are naive, like the fantasies of children to become princesses and knights. Others evolve over time like our education and career paths. Meanwhile other ambitions develop out of necessity, like health and fitness needs.

All our dreams are important. They bring us hope and focus our energy and efforts. Aspirations and our efforts to achieve them bring us life and vitality. If a dream is worthwhile then we should never lightly abandon it. It is our worthwhile goals that will haunt us when we fail to follow them. These are the ones that become "It might have been."

In my own travels I have discovered two deadly words that are dream killers. We use these words to excuse ourselves and to blame our circumstances. They make us feel less guilty when we surrender our goals. These words soothe our lack of faith in ourselves. What are these lethal words? They are: I'm trying.

They seem so harmless, so benign. Make no mistake, those words spell the demise of your dreams. If someone asks you about your dream and you reply with "I'm trying such and such and this and that." then beware, you are courting regret. Trying is weak. It implies lack of commitment, responsibility and control. Trying is just waiting for the universe to swoop in and crush our hopes.

When we try then we are leaving room for the word 'but'. I'm trying to lose weight *but* I have plateaued. I'm trying to get promoted *but* no one is giving me the opportunity. 'Trying' and 'but' always seem to be paired. When it comes to dreams and goals they are a fatal pair.

There is a simple way to change your thinking and avoid these deadly words. Simply pay attention to your use of the devilish duo. When they are on your lips, stop and instead say what you are actually doing rather than what you are attempting. Talk about the concrete steps that you are actually making towards your goals. Don't talk about trying to write a book. Talk about what you have written, what you are writing and the publishers that you've approached. Don't talk about trying to lose weight. Talk about the good habits you have started, learning to count calories or the physical activities that you've begun.

Take responsibility for your dream. Make it happen one step at a time. Of course you can't control all the variables in life, but that doesn't mean you merely try to pursue a goal. You break it down into actions that you can do. Deal with variables one by one as they arise. Remind yourself of what you are doing, not what you are trying.

Don't abdicate a dream to luck, chance or fate. It will haunt you. If it is a worthy dream then it is worth the action and commitment. You will never regret time spent on a worthwhile goal, even if it may never fully realized. Your honest progress will be rewarding. While a lack of effort for such a dream will ignite justified remorse.

Give your mind and heart a better outlook by banning the killer 'I'm trying...' from your vocabulary. Protect your dreams from these poisonous words that subtly sabotage your thinking.

©2017 S.D.Wilson

The Gain Within Pain

_____The Gain Within Pain____

“Every problem or difficulty you face contains the seed of an equal or greater advantage or benefit.” –Napoleon Hill

Maybe I am odd but I got used to this viewpoint when I was young.  Yes, there may be exceptions.  Yet the vast majority of the time I have found that our troubles hold the beginnings of our greatness, the nuclei of our success.

Think of the caterpillar.  Great energy and effort go into the creation of a cocoon or chrysalis.  The creature goes from daily foraging, eating and avoiding predators to spending weeks cooped up and inactive as the painfully slow processes of metamorphosis take place.  If it has thoughts does it grow impatient day by day?

Ah, but all that work and waiting one day results in a complete transformation.  In one final struggle and momentous effort, our earthbound worm frees itself from its bonds to finally take flight.   We cannot know the thoughts, if any, of a caterpillar.  Nonetheless, it is clear that process that transforms an awkward worm into an elegant butterfly or a moth involves sweat and difficulty.  Yet that labour is the beginning of greatness for the creature as it leaves behind its former limitations.

What are you facing today?  Is a slow tedious process teaching you patience?  Is a difficult and stressful situation instructing you on perseverance?  Is an interaction with a harsh and difficult person coaching you on tolerance and kindness?   Is exhaustion and despair showing you the need to say ‘no’ others and to address your own welfare?  Look at your struggles.  They are not merely curses and deficits.  If you stay open to possibilities then you will see within your trials the buds of possible metamorphosis.  If you let it, your patient overcoming of a situation can literally transform you to soar beyond your current existence and expectations.

©2017 Scott D. Wilson

Breaking Free of Your Thoughts

–Breaking Free of Your Thoughts–

“You will never be free until you free yourself from the prison of your own false thoughts.” –Philip Arnold

In the TV series “House M.D.” the main character’s tagline and principle philosophy is “Everyone lies.” It is cynical but unfortunately also largely true. However, like Dr. House, we often focus on the external lies that we tell others. The reality is that before we lie to others we first and foremost lie to ourselves. It is with those false thoughts, one by one, that our personal prison walls are built:

- I’m not pretty enough
- Others can. I can’t.
- I’m not smart enough
- They are special. I’m not.
- I’m not smart enough
- I just have bad luck.

We wall ourselves in making our world smaller and smaller. Our meager expectations become our limits. Creativity is for the artistic and the talented. Invention and innovation are for the gifted and the bright. Our fears solidify into concrete barriers that we never dare to test. Risks become the things that the lucky and the special people take, not us. Safety becomes our prime directive, and there we remain safe and sterile. Change is both dangerous and uncomfortable and to be avoided.

Sure, most of us decorate our cells with all the many comforts of life and we dream that are truly free while all the while our minds yearn to think free and follow the passions of our hearts. Make no mistakes, the prison bars are there in our thinking and our fears guard the doors to freedom. If we truly want real liberty then we must begin to challenge our own beliefs about ourselves. When we reach an apparent limit and we hear our thoughts screaming “I can’t” or “I’m not” that is when we must stop and confront our own words and thinking. I am not exaggerating when I tell you that your freedom may lie just beyond “I cannot” and “I am not.”

Professional athletes know that the barrier between better and best is not physical, but mental. They must humble themselves mentally by admitting that they may not know the true boundary of their bodily abilities. Skill and talent take one so far but to achieve our utmost our minds need to be free enough to believe beyond the limits that we perceive. I know that we are not all called to challenge our physical bodies to the same degree as skilled runner or a prima ballerina. However, we all have the same ability dream and imagine and to drive our own abilities further.

Our minds are powerful devices and truly without limits. We can conceive the most marvelous and amazing things. In my lifetime many miracles have been achieved through science and technology that most thought would be impossible. In days gone by many learned people argued that man would never fly, and now we not only tour the globe but we blast into the depths of outer space. If the brilliant minds of the past were wrong about mankind’s limitations then could you be in error about your own?

If you truly desire real freedom then start with your mind. If you are not following your dreams or achieving your goals then take some time to look at your reasoning and excuses. Pay attention to those “cannots” and “are nots.” When you hit one of your believed limits then stop and take some time to deal with it. Write it down if you need to do so. Now imagine if that limit did not exist. Dream about the ways around your problem. Let your mind wander and wonder.

Earl Nightingale, the great self-improvement pioneer, encouraged people set aside time daily to look at their dreams and their challenges. He reasoned that this discipline would engage our hearts and minds to create the pathways to our solutions and our dreams. The goal would remain fresh in our conscious and unconscious thoughts and innovative possibilities would arise and come to mind. This is true as long as these ideas don't get caught and tangled in our false thinking.

If we truly want the freedom to grow, change and succeed then we need to liberate our minds. We need to address and question our limiting thoughts. Daily, bring your goals to mind and allow yourself the time regularly to dream and create new solutions. Break your heart and mind out of your prison of false thoughts and set them free overcome the fears and illusions that once limited them!

“Your mind can be either your prison or your palace. What you make it is yours to decide” ―Bernard Kelvin Clive

Cheers!
©2017 S.D. Wilson

Are you offensive? Yes, good!

Are you offensive?  Yes, good!

By Scott Wilson

“Action Offends the Inactive” –Chris Shugart

I have covered an aspect of this subject once before using the analogy from the film ‘the Matrix’ and becoming unplugged.  However, my focus was more about projecting our own expectations upon others than about their reactions towards us.  I would like to cover here something that surprises so many people who seek to make improvements in their lives.

If you have set a goal and you are visibly putting in the effort daily to achieve that goal then I have news for you:  You are offensive to many of those around you.   Yes, you heard me.  You are a thorn in the side of some of your friends, family and acquaintances.  You are going against the flow.  Who do you think you are?  What makes you think that YOU deserve something better than everyone else?  What makes you special?

Sure, the people that you know may not actually make these statements but their words and actions will reflect the sentiment.  A colleague will make sideways comments about your improvement efforts.  A loved one will subtly discourage you from proceeding with your commitment to better yourself.  There will be some strong push from peers to go along and conform to the norm.  It surprises many people that the ones that are closest to them are often the source of their worst discouragement and temptations to quit.

You see, if you are successful in your efforts then others who see you will ask themselves “Why can’t I do what he or she did?” That is a very uncomfortable question.  If you can improve and succeed then that means that they will need to take responsibility for any lack of success and improvement in their own lives.  You are and they aren’t.  In effect, you actions are pointing an accusing finger at their inaction and that is offensive.

Most people want to live relatively comfortable lives free from blame and responsibility.  They are where they because that is where everyone is and that is okay.  Their environment is responsible for all that they have or do not have.  They merely react in response to what is around them.  They did not ask to be born into the life that they are living.  They are simply doing the best with what they have.  Only the special, the lucky, the fortunate and the blessed get anything different.  Good and bad happen by chance and so they are content to be in the middle above the poor and suffering but also below the few prosperous and successful.  Average is just fine for them.

There is nothing wrong with this.  Living a passive life is quite acceptable and billions do it successfully every single day.  Most of the services and systems of our society are geared towards the average person and so this quiet acceptance is encouraged.  However, if anyone wants to leave this comfortable middle ground their efforts are questioned by those around them.  Why unnecessarily risk failure?

Another reason for people’s negative reactions towards you will be fear and resistance to change.  People like to label things.  It makes life easier.  Much of our identities are tied to the labels that have defined us.  Change upsets that.  For example, if you have always been conservative and down to earth and suddenly you start behaving in an excessive and risky manner this will confuse people.  So it is also when we seek to improve.  It will evoke fear to those closest to you.  They will wonder if they truly know you.  They may be concerned that this new and improved version of you may not want to be with them anymore.  They will then act and speak out of this anxiety either consciously or unconsciously.

Whether it is a poor reflection upon themselves or a fear of your changes, those who know you best can be expected to be a source of difficulty for you when you start following a dream or pursuing a goal. This is normal. Accept that you have become offensive to them through no fault of your own.  Don’t be hurt by their comments or actions.  It is a reflection of their own insecurities.  In truth, their responses have very little to do with you.  Instead, take such poor behaviour as proof that you are going in the right direction.  Use such potentially discouraging incidents as fuel to keep you moving on the better path.

Cheers!

©2017 Scott D. Wilson