Await or Create

Await or Create

“My dictionary defines opportunityas a set of circumstancesthat makes it possible to do something.The world has conditioned us to wait for opportunity,have the good sense to spot itand hope to strike at the appropriate time.But if opportunity is just a set of circumstances,why are we waiting around for the stars to align?Rather than waiting and pouncingwith a high degree of failure,you might as well go aheadand create a set of circumstances on your own.If you make the opportunity,you will be first in position to take advantage of it.We don’t have to wait for it.We create it.”–Biz Stone

Without your participation, in the next few minutes, your heart will continue to beat, you will continue to breathe and your existence will proceed.  This is what happens to us in this thing we call life. In this manner, we are similar to the animals who live from moment to moment with no greater aspirations. Yet life is so much more than just what happens to us!

Sure we can go through life reacting to all that comes our way.  In fact, this is what the vast majority of people do, day in and day out.  There is nothing shameful or wrong with this way of living.  If you are content doing what everyone else is doing and more or less getting what they are getting then put yourself in neutral and coast along.  This is the easiest and most efficient way to live within our culture.  The greatest personal energy expenditures will only occur if dangerous or unwanted situations occur.   

However, you may have noticed that this is not the manner by which those who are succeeding choose to live.  They do not wait for life to deliver itself to them.  They pursue what they want and make it happen.  Whether it be health, wealth, fame, skill, power or something else they do not sit passively waiting for it.  They plan carefully and work diligently to create the circumstances that will foster what they wish to achieve.  If you want to be exceptional, that is you wish to be the exception rather than the rule, then you too will need to stop being passive.

I cited Biz Stone in the quote above because it highlighted the fact that the “world has conditioned us to wait for opportunity.”  We sit and hope for the right circumstance to come to us.  We even actively prepare for these situations so that we do not miss them when they appear.  All of that is good. However, it is all passive at its core.  We bemoan when the stars do not align and we curse that others seem to have all the ‘luck.’  Meanwhile, we have missed countless chances to create our own opportunities. I know of no one who has not been guilty of this mindset, myself included.   

A hunter can train to shoot well and buy all the best gear.  They could also learn all the habits and ways of the creatures that they wish to hunt.  Then our hunter might go to the proper environment and the appropriate time and sit in a random promising spot and hope to see their prey walk by.  This will sometimes result in a successful expedition.  The more successful hunters learn various ways to lure their prey towards them.  They use calls and bait to entice the creatures.  They carefully check their hunting grounds for signs of their prey’s activity.  They’ll work hard to understand their target and to encounter it.  The will use their time and energy wisely and will not rely on simple chance and their results will show it.

An aspiring actor who hopes to be discovered would be considered foolish if they did not actively pursue every possible chance to showcase themselves.  Yes, they could take acting lessons and practice with various groups and guilds, but all that would be in vain if they did not actively work to promote their name and reputation in the entertainment industry.  Sure they might take roles hoping to get noticed by someone influential who might happen to attend a performance.  However, they could equally well invite influential people to their shows and provide them tickets.  They could take some well calculated risks to create the circumstances that they desire.

The difference between passive and active may seem subtle but it is significant.  Passive prays, waits and watches.  Active does this and then also plans, creates, pursues, entices, provokes and works.  Passive looks for chances.  Active intentionally takes risks.  Passive hopes.  Active intends and does.  Passive awaits inspiration.  Active gains inspiration through activity.  Passive relies on motivation.  Active relies on discipline and routine. This holds true for all of and all our dreams and ambitions.  We can wait for the universe to arbitrarily deliver opportunities to us or we can work with what the universe has already provided in order to create such opportunities. Health, money, peace of mind… no matter what your goal may be you have a choice:

Live passively and let life happen

or live actively and make life happen.

©2018 Scott D. Wilson

Losing Fear and Finding Passion

Losing Fear and Finding Passion

By S.D. Wilson

“When your passion and purpose is greater than your fears and excuses, you will find a way.” –Unknown

Ever have something that you really wanted to do?  May be it was a martial art and you were willing to be an awkward novice until you could one day become a graceful master.  Perchance it was a musical instrument where you were prepared to play some sour notes on the way to being able produce a tune that moved people’s souls.  Whatever it was is not important.  The point is that you were willing to be imperfect or even poor at doing something knowing that you would someday become better at it.  You followed your passion and did not stop the first time that you stumbled or struggled to make progress.  Your passion and purpose were greater than your fears and excuses.

Why then do we forget this in so many of our important daily endeavours?  For example, we start exercising and eating better to lose weight.  We are gaining control over ourselves and our behaviours with food and activity.  We want fitness and health.  Then something happens and we are not progressing like we expected.  We are angry at our bodies and ourselves.  We start looking for excuses to quit.   How about when start a new business or attempt a new enterprise in our lobs or careers?  We seem to follow this same pattern and recipe for disappointment.

Many of us seem to suffer attention deficit syndrome when it comes to patiently working towards our goals.  I’ve seen it time and time again in myself and in others. We lose our passion, or worse, we start off dispassionately.  We start something because it is logical and because it seems to be the correct thing to do.  We think that this will be reason enough to keep doing it.  We leave our hearts at the door and expect the mind and body to do all the work.  We are then perplexed when our emotions rise up in protest at being forced into a corner.

You may not need passion to succeed at keeping your teeth clean but I doubt that you will encounter many disappointments or setbacks on the way to grabbing your toothbrush.  The bigger goals in life like health, lifestyle, career, family and such are fraught with discouraging situations and obstacles.  We need our passions to work with us when life throws us curve balls.  I encourage the creation of good habits and routines to minimize our efforts and to lessen our reliance on motivation.  However, when our fears come calling there is only one weapon that can help us overcome them and that is our purpose and our zeal.

With any significant goals there come equally significant fears.  There are great fears of failure, loss, the unknown and change. These fears must be balanced and the opposite of fear is not bravery.  It’s love or passion or zeal.  Fear and anxiety always drive us away from something.  Love and passion always draw us towards something.  Passion and purpose move us to find ways to overcome our fears and obstacles.  It is up to each of us to find our own purpose and drive; otherwise our fears will inevitably sabotage our goals.

So you have set some lofty goals and now the rubber has hit the road.  You have taken action to make your desires into reality.  If this is truly your passion then you have counted the cost and you have already anticipated that difficulty and fear will stand in your way.  Your resolve will be unbending.  Though the path may not be as straight and easy going as you’d like nonetheless you will continue until you have mastered yourself and your objective!  If your heart is not attuned to this quest then the eventual troubles will inevitably derail you.  A person divided within themself cannot stand when opposition occurs; this is a basic principle of combat.  Both your mind and heart need to align for success.

Find your passion!  Find a reason to get out of bed every day beyond the mere need for survival.  You were created to thrive, not to simply survive!  Find the one real thing that makes you feel alive.  Dig deep!  Beware, this may take some time and effort, trial and error.  You may think that you have found an objective or drive only to find that it has waned or changed.  That is okay.  Be patient and keep seeking! Do not be discouraged.  This is a prize worth finding! Success can hinge on your efforts. 

After you have discovered your true passion then everything else can be built upon it: health, family, friends, fame and fortune.  Why should I be fit?  Because your purpose requires it!  Why should I be financially prosperous?  Because that serves your passion! You will know that you have found your passion when a day spent serving it will feel successful no matter the cost and effort and any day that passes without furthering your cause will feel empty no matter how you otherwise benefitted. Once you know your passion and purpose then you will find a way past all your fears and excuses and that way will lead to success!

©2017 S.D. Wilson

What Are You Waiting For?

What Are You Waiting For?

“I will act now. I will act now. I will act now.

Henceforth, I will repeat these words

each hour, each day, every day,

until the words become

as much a habit as my breathing,

and the action which follows becomes

as instinctive as the blinking of my eyelids.

With these words I can condition my mind

to perform every action necessary

for my success.I will act now.” – Og Mandino

Tomorrow, it is the curse of mankind. Tomorrow is a thief – a con man! We foolishly give it our dreams, our goals and our hopes, and it gives us nothing in return. We always think the cheque is in the mail. We always naïvely believe that tomorrow will come and bring us our reward. A better day is always on the horizon. Instead, today we receive the bills for the unpaid efforts of yesterday. It is far too easy to live in the mediocre satisfaction of today. We need to become uncomfortable now!

In our discomfort we can see what we are sowing. We can know the results before they come. We can choose a different path before the road that we are on becomes a one-way street. We can beat tomorrow by winning the game today! We can stop putting off what we know is needed. We can stop thinking and start doing. Tomorrow will enlist fear to stand in our way… to block our path with visions of failure and disaster. It will soothe us with the luring promise that circumstances might be more favorable later.

Plug your ears against its numbing siren song! Face fear head on! Arm yourself with your passions and your love. Pick up the sword of self-esteem and cut a path forward through the underbrush of procrastination one small stroke at a time. Health will be yours! Success will be yours! Prosperity will be yours! Life will be yours! Take back the hopes and dreams from tomorrow and start building them today. Act now.

Are you waiting for tomorrow to deliver on its promises?  Don’t be fooled; stop waiting for the scam artist. Instead, spend your precious time wisely.  Heed the victory call, “Act now. Act now. Act NOW!”  Become impatient. Squeeze the best out of today. Drain this moment of all its potential. Act like tomorrow may never come. Chase all regrets from today.

What are you waiting for? The time for in action and waiting has passed.  If you truly want success then the time to act is now.  If you want results then you need to make their cause happen at this time.  Make this day your day.  Let us abandon tomorrow and its empty promises. No more accidents.  Live your life on purpose.  Know that all you crave lies behind your fears – so face them with ferocity! Lay hold of your birthright… your authentic self and a genuine life!

Huzzah!
©2017 Scott D. Wilson

Letter to a Fearful Warrior

Letter to a Fearful Warrior

Dear Warrior,

The end of this life is inescapable. Death comes to everyone without exception. So how you fill the time between death and birth is the only matter of importance. What have you to fear? What are you afraid to lose? Can you really fail?

Feel the brevity of life. Yet do not despair. Rejoice! Allow the urgency of it to infuse your decisions and actions. A warrior who hesitates in battle suffers defeat or worse. Truly, tomorrow never comes so make the best of all that you are and all that you have NOW.

A blade remains useless in the scabbard. A sharp mind remains useless sheathed with inaction. Be a person of action. Overcome the paralysis of fear and uncertainty. Turn and face the enemy knowing who you are. With stillness inside, move rapidly and with purpose. Yield and overcome.

Again warrior, what do you fear? In the end all is lost when the ultimate gift is returned to the giver. In this sense nothing is truly yours to begin with, including your own life. Until the time of your end you must continue to overcome the enemies on your path. They are fear, knowledge and power. Fear blocks your path to knowledge. Knowledge unapplied becomes and addiction that blocks your way to power. Power intoxicates and blocks your way to overcoming yourself.

What is timidity to one who knows that death is his lifetime companion and that each moment may be their last? The past is gone and all it can offer you are its lessons and the wisdom that arises from refection upon it. There is no future, there is simply now. Do what needs doing now. Remember the wise words of Don Juan Matus:

A warrior must focus his attention on the link between
himself and his death. Without remorse or sadness or worrying, he
must focus his attention on the fact that he does not have time and
let his acts flow accordingly. He must let each of his acts be his
last battle on earth. Only under those conditions will his acts
have their rightful power. Otherwise they will be, for as long as
he lives, the acts of a fool.
When one has nothing to lose, one becomes courageous.
We are timid only when there is something we can still cling to.

Today and this moment are yours. Be the warrior that you were meant to be, not an ignorant commoner paralyzed by fear and mortality. Live knowing that death is at hand for any one of us. Love with all your heart. Act without hesitation, knowing the shortness of life. Overcome your enemies. Follow the path with heart, the path with passion. Become impeccable in thought, word and action. You truly have nothing to lose and you have everything to win!

©2016 S.D. Wilson

The Language of Your Life

The Language of your Life

©2015 Scott D. Wilson

 

“Life is a foreign language; all men mispronounce it”  ― Christopher Morley

 

Depending on your view language is either mankind’s greatest invention or its greatest gift.  Language enables us to share and transmit ideas, feelings and experiences in creative ways.  We take it for granted as we use it daily, but language is one of our most powerful tools.  Language has been used to change countless lives and even to forge the events of history itself.  Language is the programming code for our minds.  The way we speak reveals a lot about our upbringing and our background.   Our speech also shows the inner workings of our mind and thoughts.

 

If you close your eyes and imagine then you can likely think of countless examples of speaking patterns that you have encountered throughout your life: 

 

• the clipped speech of a police officer who has pulled you over
• the colourful drawl and homespun words of a rural western American 
• the loud and vibrant language of a passionate evangelical preacher
• the rough profanity-laced dialogue of a hard-living miner
• the carefully measured words of a suit-and-tie executive speaking to the board
• the angry venom of a native New York cabbie who just got cut off by another driver.
• the gentle tones and soft language of a counsellor consoling a grieving spouse
• the serious and grave dialect of criminal judge handing down a severe sentence

 

My point is that words themselves and how they are delivered vary immensely and carry with them more than mere information.  In a sense, we paint a picture with our language.  We study the ancient cave drawings in the hope to understand prehistoric communications.  We know that our development of words literally took the place of those early cave paintings.

 

Yes, we use language to convey ideas, images, feeling and experience.  In essence, we use speech to share a piece of our lives or a moment of our living.  Ah, but allow me to expand the vocabulary of this discussion.  The deaf use words but they convey them through gestures and signs.  The blind read but they must use texture and form.  So communication is not limited to words on page or the oration from our mouths.  Of course we have all heard of body language but that is not really what I am talking about here.

 

I am talking about the very dialogue of our daily living.  Every day we get up and go about living our lives.  How we do this communicates to universe itself and to others.  The vocabulary of our actions speaks volumes to our character and our attitude.  We may quietly whisper our gratitude through the act of prayer and meditation.  We may loudly proclaim our anger and frustration through our surliness or sullen attitude.  We might chat our joy brightly through our beaming smile and happy demeanor.  Perhaps we speak slowly and deliberately with our careful behaviour and cautious nature.  Or perchance we might zip off the quick staccato of our nervousness.

 

What I am saying here is that our behaviour speaks as truly as our words.  Our lives are like that cave wall thousands of years ago.  We paint upon it our communications to others and to the world around us.  I am asking you, reader, to consider what kind of message you are sending with your life.  Is it a deliberate and positive message that others will want to read and understand?  Or possibly are you randomly scrawling on the walls of your lifetime?  Today, you have the chance to become aware of the messages that you have been sending.  Look back and try to read the words that you have been living.  Do they contain hope?  Love? Trust?  Fear?  Bitterness?  Despair?

 

Life is meant to be deliberately lived.  If we intend to succeed we need to look not only at what we are saying to others with our words but also what we are saying with our demeanor, our attitude, our dress, our deportment… our entire lives!  Make sure your whole message is worth hearing!

 

“In the end, we'll all become stories.”  ― Margaret Atwood

Fill a Need

Fill a Need

©2015 Scott D. Wilson
 

I want to tell you two remarkable stories.  The first story is that of a young intern back in 1991.  Like many of her ilk she works hard and long hours striving to learn all that she can to become a superb physician and ultimately a skilled surgeon.  During this time she is assigned to a critical care ward where she encounters and elderly patient whose illness is very likely terminal.  They chat and find a common bond in their passion for fly fishing.  Their relationship is limited to the regular brief encounters during the young physician’s daily rounds. 
 
One day the doctor notes that the patient’s demeanor is more subdued.  Her inquiry yields a heart-felt statement from the patient.  Tomorrow is his wedding anniversary.  For all of the 60+ years that he has been married he has never missed a wedding anniversary.  But now he is stuck in this bed unable to do anything for his beloved.  Saying nothing our diligent doctor politely takes her leave and moves on.
 
The next day, shortly after the elderly patient’s wife arrives for her regular visit a large bouquet of flowers is delivered to her under her husband’s name.  Our physician hears the joyful tale from her patient later that day.  With a tired smile she goes on her way.
 
My next story is that of another new physician.  However this lady is not so young.  For you see, she was first a nurse for several years before she decided to become a doctor.  This tale begins on a night shift.  A rookie nurse is working the palliative care floor.  The ink is barely dry on her certificate.  Our new physician is also on duty performing rounds when the frantic young nurse stops her in the hall.  An elderly patient is in the last stages of dying.  He has no family to comfort him in his last hours.  He is moaning and begging the young nurse for someone to just hold him.  This is our fledgling nurse’s first encounter with a dying patient.  She desperately looks to our physician for direction.
 
Without a word the fresh doctor quickly walks towards the patient’s room.  Then, to the astonishment of the novice nurse, the doctor careful climbs onto the bed and gently wraps her arms around the dying man.  And there in the room our nurse and doctor remain for several small hours till the old man passes from this world.  The impact on the nurse was significant.  She had never before experienced the likes of such a doctor.
 
Why do I spin these tales for you?  Because they a real, and because I see a lesson of success in their actions.  I am privileged to call the first doctor my sister.  The second wonderful healer is the daughter of my mother’s best friend.  In both cases these wonderful women saw a need and compassionately filled it.  They did not seek glory or recognition.  Indeed I would not know of them had they not been relayed to me by third parties.  Despite their authority and positions they did not feel these tasks were beneath them. 
 
In Disney’s film ‘Robots’ the protagonist falls in love with the catchphrase “See a need. Fill a need.”  The idea is that if we identify a problem then we are in probability also the person most able to develop the solution.  In the film the character’s desire to follow this ideal leads him on the path to success. The two ladies above perfectly lived this creed.  Their examples challenge me.  As I consider the most successful people in business and in life I realize that they too exemplified this truth.  Mother Theresa, Bill Gates, Alexander Graham Bell,  Nicolai Tesla, and others… they all saw needs and successfully filled them.  If we are to succeed in this life then we too should follow this pattern.
 
We all have unique talents and abilities.  We all look around and see this world’s many deficiencies.  Today, instead of hoping that someone else will fix them, perhaps we can turn it around and consider how we might be the necessary person to bless this needy world.  Like my two doctors, may we find our own way to quietly “fill a need.” 

Walking the Razor's Edge

Walking the Razor

© 2015 Scott D. Wilson,P.Eng.

 

“The pathway to salvation is as narrow and as difficult to walk as a razor's edge.” — W. Somerset Maugham from “The Razor's Edge.”

 

I need to confess, I have a love for a picture that bombed in the theatres back in 1984.  It was a movie starring Bill Murray in an adaption of Somerset Maugham’s “The Razor’s Edge.”  I enjoyed this film and its message when I first saw it back in 1984, and the cinematography is stunning.  I personally believed that it bombed because general audiences wanted to see the standard Bill Murray firing off jokes and making wisecracks.  This is not really that kind of film.  Somerset Maugham delves deeply into the worlds of materialism and spirituality.  To that end I believe that Bill Murray remained quite true to Maugham’s vision.  Unfortunately, a great deal of Maugham’s thoughts and conclusions are quite hard for many people to swallow.

I encourage folks to read Maugham’s book and to see the film.  The Razor’s Edge struggles with the concepts of good and evil, cause and consequence, actions and rewards.  I like the brutally honest answer that the main character delivers in a few short lines:

“When Piedmont died, I had to pay him back for my life. I found out there's another debt to pay — for the privilege of being alive. I thought Sophie was my reward for trying to live a good life. Uh uh. There is no payoff — not now.”

Western thinking, whether spiritual or physical, is frequently unconsciously caught up in the concept of investment and return.  We work hard expecting that effort to pay off.  Those who pursue spiritual matters usually expect to be rewarded with peace of mind and life with less conflict and strife.  We are always expecting the scales to balance in our lifetime.  Reality is far less predictable and reliable.  And so we alternately enjoy and suffer with the dualities of pleasure, pain, toil and reward, love and fear.  As Maugham’s character so aptly puts it, there is not necessarily a “payoff  — not now.”

This thought disappoints most of us.  If we make sacrifices now and try our best to be ‘good’ then there needs to be a reward, now, in this life.  While this may frequently be true it is certainly not a guarantee and we should realize this fact.  Additionally, we are mostly oblivious to the underlying selfishness of this expectation.  Many noble people did what was right and correct and it cost them everything, including their lives.  They were not expecting to reap the rewards of their actions.  They did not do right because it was of benefit to themselves.  They chose to act correctly because doing right transcends time and space.  Doing right serves something far greater than give and take, action and reward. These brave folks were aware that their actions would resonate out beyond their own personal existence into the future and onward towards eternity.

I can see how this thought may distress many people.  Justice seems cheated.  Those who reap do not seem to sow.  Similarly, this is offensive to rationalistic materialists enjoyment of science’s premise of cause and effect.  Meanwhile, spiritualists will generally take comfort in the belief of an afterlife for their rewards. I do not seek to clear this matter for either point of view.  Currently none can truly know with certainty what may or may not transcend their lifespan.  

I would hope that those with a rational scientific mindset would allow their egos to ebb and perform the mental calculations to see that doing right without personal reward can serve the future and their fellow man.  And the spiritualists should likewise let go of the mindset that is entitled to compensation.  I would not like to meet my Creator with the selfish expectation that my righteousness was motivated solely for my own benefit, avoiding punishment or to gain reward.  

When good happens were should rejoice and enjoy it.  When ill befalls this world we should mourn and take actions against it.  As long as time flies forward, both good and evil will remain temporary states.  My original quote comes from a monk seeking to caution Maugham’s main character.  Another wise One once similarly warned that “…it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the Kingdom of God!” The wealthy are most heavily invested in the concept of investment and return, and so they become robbed of an eternal perspective.

Life has taught me that it is of great importance to do what is good but it is of far greater importance to sincerely do it for the correct reasons.  Look neither for reward nor punishment.  Choose to do what is correct regardless of the outcome.  Free from the fear of penalties and the lure of compensation, if we do not get caught up in our own ego we might find that walking the razor’s edge to salvation is just that much easier. 

Why are you here?

Why are you here?

©2015 Scott D. Wilson,P.Eng.

 

Seriously, why are you here?  What is the point of your travels in this outer spiral arm of a Galaxy we call the Milky Way?  Sure, you were born here but that is mere circumstance.  Why do continue this ongoing adventure?  Are you like singer in the old Peggy Lee song “Is that all there is?” who is just hanging in because they simply don’t want to face the final disappointment of death?  Do you breathe out of habit or do you savour every miraculous heartbeat and every taste of life-sustaining air?

I see so many, day in and day out, struggling with addictions, bad habits, weight, and so much more.  The common factor for so many of them is the need for motivation and the will to follow through.  I may be wrong but I see that a large part of their problem is that they lack meaningful purpose in their life.  They simply do not know why they are here.  It is as if they expect to wake up one day from this tired existence and start living their real lives – the lives they were meant to be living.  This may in fact be partially true.

I can see why the Eastern religions and mysticism seek ‘enlightenment’ and ‘awakening.’  Like Neo in ‘The Matrix’ they want to see reality as it truly is and realize that their true identity is not what they have accepted since birth.  They want to awaken and see their true selves and those of the people and creations around them.  This is a noble quest.  It sets a foundation and provides a perspective for all that we are and all that we do.  For until you begin to truly understand yourself and start to know why you are here then you will continually struggle with motivation and willpower for all other pursuits.

For example, if you do not have a core purpose for living then what does it matter if you are thin or fat, healthy or sick, sane or crazy, wise or foolish?  Finding a purpose for life is not purely a spiritual pursuit.  Atheists are not immune to the need for a purposeful existence.  The only difference is the basis for the rational understanding of their unique purpose.

You are a combination of a rather unique set of 3.2 billion base pairs of DNA.  Scientifically and spiritually, you shall not pass this way again.  Even a clone will technically not be you, as it would be constrained to experience a completely different time and set of circumstances.   You belong here… to this time and place.  Accept that the universe has placed you where and when you are.  Whether it be the forces of evolution and circumstance or by divine intent, you came to be here today.

Accepting your place within time and space will allow you to look clearly at yourself and ask what role are you suited to play in the portion that has been allotted to you.  What are your talents?  What are your passions and interests?  What makes you come alive?  If these things are taking a back seat in your life then I suggest that you look at your priorities.  Because if you are not doing the things that bring enjoyment, meaning and fulfillment to your life then you won’t find much motivation to do all the other things that would otherwise bring health and other benefits to your existence.

Do not look to others to find out why you exist.  Their truths and meanings may have no bearing on you whatsoever.  Look inside and learn.  Look outside and see the possibilities, not the limitations.  Trust that you have been provided with a rational mind that can discover your own unique reasonable purpose.  Do not accept the realities that others have provided for you; they can limit your ability to see and understand.  When you are confused by life allow yourself to be puzzled and to ask “Why?”  Allow for awe and wonder. 

If you are having difficulties finding some kind of motivation I suggest that you put aside that struggle for now and instead ask yourself “Who am I?” Quietly allow the infinite number of answers to come to you.  Some will resonate more than others.  Dwell on those for they will help you to discover who you are and why you are here.  It will be a process.  Just as one does not go one day from a classroom to the pilot seat of an aircraft so too will the learning about yourself take gentle time and patience.  

I encourage you to discover your own reason for your existence.  From that answer will spring the ability and motivation for so much more.  Howard Thurman put it so eloquently:

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” 

I ask again, “Why are you here?”  I have provided some perspective and advice for one to begin to find an answer to this question.  Now I lastly ask, are you brave enough to try? 

You Belong Here

You Belong Here

©Scott D. Wilson,P.Eng. 2015

 

It would seem that one of mankind’s fundamental drives is the search for acceptance and belonging.   Whether atheist, agnostic or a person of faith, we all seem to seek a sense of purpose and understanding why we exist.  

I am here to state that regardless of faith that you belong here and now.  The universe, the Creator, the first Cause or whatever you conceive has conspired to place you in this time and place.  So many regret their past but fail to realize that their failures have shaped them as much as their successes.  Without pain joy does not taste quite so sweet.  Learning what you don’t want is just as important as learning your passion.  In eastern culture there is a saying “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.”

You are here now and reading these words because your life has brought you here.  I encourage you to make the best of this opportunity… become the ready student and anticipate your teacher(s).  I believe that part of our drive for belong stirs from our innate desire to be creative.  We humans tend to create that on which we focus our thoughts.  Artists see art in the world around them and become drawn to make it tangible to others.  Engineers see technical needs in the world and create solutions to address them.  Accountants see elegance in economics and seek novel ways to use money and benefit from it. 

If you find your thoughts focused on your deficits then you will inevitably create more deficits.  If you find yourself focused on your weight then it will tend to increase.  Mother Teresa once said “I was once asked why I don't participate in anti-war demonstrations. I said that I will never do that, but as soon as you have a pro-peace rally, I'll be there.”  She understood this principle.  Most people truly do not want to lose weight; they want to be healthy.  Our health and wellbeing should be our focus, not our weight!  Our focus should be on our riches, not on our poverty or our debts.  

So I return again to my original premise. You do not lack belonging or acceptance.  It was here all along.  You belong here.  Forgive your past self, they were doing their best with what they knew and what they had at that time.  They were younger and less wise.  Accept that you are meant to be here and that you bring something unique with your specific set of 3.2 billion base pairs of DNA.  This is your time.  Open yourself to learning.  Open yourself to the almost limitless possibilities for your life.  Learn yourself and learn your purpose… then face your fears and follow it!

“You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.” – Max Ehrmann (The Desiderata)

Move with Purpose

Move With Purpose

© Scott Wilson 2015

My tip for today from my study on successful leaders:  Move with purpose.

In my interactions with and observations of effective leaders I have noticed that they tend to walk and move with purpose.  Their bearing and demeanor let others know that they are in charge.  I am not stating that their is not a time and a place to meander and stroll.  However, when these people are working towards their goals they move with purpose.  Their minds and energies are focused; they do not indulge distraction.  Likewise, I am not implying that these people are stiff and formal.  Good leaders are usually relaxed and tend to convey that easiness to others. 

In French there is a saying "Il sens bien dans sa peau." which means "They feel comfortable in their skin."  This is definitely a key trait of the most successful leaders.  They are at ease with themselves and tend to put others at ease.  I believe that part of that relaxed nature is due to their sense of purpose and drive.  Leaders have a plan and they are working that plan.  They are not waffling about their decisions.  They make decisions. Commit to them and see them through.

If a decision leads to an undesirable or unexpected outcome the excellent leader stops, takes ownership of the event, changes course and moves on.  This should be our lesson.  First, learn to accept ourselves and become comfortable with who and what we are; only then will we be able to extend that grace towards others.  Note that only we can determine who and what we are; others will always see us from there own biased perspective. We are so much more than mothers, fathers, lovers, friends, workers and colleagues.  Get to the core of yourself; know definitively from head to toe who you are.

Next, from a proper sense of self we determine a purpose that we wish to pursue.  Famous motivational writer Earl Nightingale called this "a worthy ideal."  A worthy ideal can be any goal that one strives to achieve and maintain, anything from weight loss to career achievement.  This must be chosen with care as we will be orienting ourselves to achieve this and shedding any distractions.  Difficulties will arise when we develop goals that compete with each other for our time and energy or when we permit distractions.

So finally, having wisely chosen our goals, we move to achieve them. We move with purpose.  When conflicts arise we own them and deal with them either according to their priorities or we adjust our priorities.  Make your decisions with confidence based on knowledge and tempered with instinct.  Listen to both your heart and your mind and do no waffle.  Accept that priorities can change and goals can be paused.  For example, an ailing family member may temporarily trump weight loss plans or career goals. Do not distress - choose and continue to move with purpose in the new direction.

No doubt there those who read my words above and are distressing that they do not have the confidence in themselves or they lack commitment to their purpose.  I offer this advice.  Act as though you do.  Some call this "faking it till you make it."  You want self-confidence.  You want purpose.  Your mind is rarely the problem.  Your fearful heart is usually the culprit holding you back.  In this situation your best course of action is to act decisively with purpose.  In so doing you will be teaching your timid heart to become more bold and to build its trust in you.

I teach young Air Cadets.  One of the things that we instill in these fine young folks is to walk in a certain way when in uniform.  I am not talking about marching.  They are instructed to stand tall, carry items in their left hand and to keep their arms relatively straight.  Having their right hands free allows them to easily salute or shake hands.  Keeping their bearing upright and in control keeps them alert and ready to respond to others.  In short, by teaching people to walk with purpose their thinking  and demeanor changes.  They are beginning to feel and act like the very leaders that we are training them to become.

I do not downplay the difficulty of what I have outlined.  Learning who we are takes a lifetime so we better get started.  Choosing our goals can be equally challenging for they can impact who we become.  But if we want success we cannot shy away from these requirements and then putting them into action.  So I heartily encourage you today to:

Learn who you are...

Choose carefully your goals...

And move firmly with purpose!